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Mary Worth, 1/13/23

Iris and Zak just had a church wedding, but it’s never been entirely clear what their religious/spiritual deal is. Zak in particular seems unsure but curious about what happens after death. Will he and Iris be resurrected bodily, and be able to enjoy each other bodily, in the next life? Will they transcend this plane of existence and love one another as spiritual beings of pure mind, delighting in each other in ways we can’t currently even imagine? Is it necessary for Iris to go through an elaborate mummification process after her death, and for Zak to be buried alive in her pyramid, to ensure that they will be together forever in neter-khertet, the underworld realm of Lord Osiris? These questions and more await them on their journey!

Gil Thorp, 1/13/23

On the other hand, he may discover that marriage is a long slog and that twenty years or so from now one or both of them will, like Emily “Mimi” Thorp, find themselves flirting with their golf coach. Who can say! The future is unknowable!

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Mary Worth, 1/12/23

Are we all disappointed that Wilbur didn’t somehow make a spectacle of himself at Iris’s wedding? Yes, of course. But today we at least get a little consolation prize, which is learning that Wilbur made peace with Iris “in his heart,” which I take to mean that he did not make peace with her “in a conversation in which he apologized for his various misdeeds.” And why would he, since doing so would ruin the “bad boy reputation” that will draw Iris back to him once she and Zak inevitably break up!

You know, despite his occasional drunken implosion or jealous rage, Wilbur is actually a fairly cheerful and optimistic guy. Why wouldn’t he be, after all? He shouldn’t be alive, but he is! Everything after this point is just gravy!

Pluggers, 1/12/23

Ha ha, it’s funny because pluggers are in too much physical pain to perform even basic grooming tasks, because they’re old and decrepit!

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/11/23

Look, I get it, if you were in charge of a century-old comics property about hillbillies, you’d have the urge to add new stuff occasionally, which is why we get things like Spark Plug’s Grandson Li’l Sparky. But I refuse to believe that I’ve been reading strips about the tiny, insular hamlet of Hootin’ Holler for more than a decade at this point and this is the first I’ve heard about one of the main characters having a twin sister! Yeah, they have been playing tricks, Loweezy … playing tricks on me, the reader, by pretending they’ve both been living in this town all along! And I don’t appreciate it.

Mary Worth, 1/11/23

“Iris. You know, my friend, Iris? The one who got married here today? Looks like it’s time to ship you off to that facility I’ve already picked out; fortunately I tricked you into signing that power of attorney form a few months back.”

Six Chix, 1/11/23

The thing about puns is that the worse they are, the better they are, making them completely immune to criticism, and the thing about having a syndicated newspaper strip is that if you think of a bad pun, you can draw a cartoon of it and get paid. I’mnot saying I like today’s Six Chix, but I do have to respect it.