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Judge Parker, 7/9/06

What I’m about to say here, combined with my earlier assertion that Randy Parker was flirting with his own stepmother (and, well, just about every other post I’ve ever written) will probably lead you to believe that I have a filthy, filthy mind, but I think that the sexual tension between Raju and Abbey is really palpable here. I mean, look at the eyes she’s giving him even before he proclaims that it gives him pleasure to “help.” Sophie is sent packing almost immediately thereafter, and Raju is about to discover that at least some women in America appreciate a guy with brains and don’t care so much about teeth.

Mary Worth, 7/9/06

Is it just me, or is Mary looking a little … tarted up in the last panel? I’m guessing this is supposed to be “Kelrast-cam,” showing just what it is that he sees that he likes so much.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/9/06

Mrs. C. has a theory about what exactly little Sarah is suffering from: Munchausen syndrome by proxy. Think about it: her parents are both medical pros with access to reams of incomprehensible medical mumbo-jumbo, and they have absolutely nothing in common except their daughter, and they only seem to pay attention to her when she’s sick. I’m just saying. Hopefully Abbey the Wonderdog will paw the DSM-IV open to the correct page in time!

Curtis, 7/9/06

OK, so there’s no sexy ladies in this strip, but I’d like to point out that the baby at the far right of the last panel’s Hieronymus Bosch-esque suburban hellscape is sitting in a puddle of his own urine. I recognize that this is not in any way a sexy lady equivalent, but I thought it worthy of mention. Also, I think “stickleback” sounds like an extremely obscure slur against some unidentifiable ethnic group. “Hey, stickleback! Why don’t you go back where you came from?“

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Crankshaft, 7/8/06

Saturday’s Crankshaft is about nuns going wild.

Curtis, 7/8/06

Saturday’s Curtis is about “milking snakes.” If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

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You know how it goes. You’re reading the comments on a blog that doesn’t have a thing to do about politics, when another commentor says something politcal that doesn’t match up with your worldview and OOO it makes me SO MAD and if nobody responds to him everyone will think he’s RIGHT and HE’LL WIN and so it’s PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM WRITING A SCATHING TWELVE-PARAGRAPH REBUTTAL!

Well! Now, instead of putting that twelve-paragraph rebuttal in the comments section on the blog’s main page, you can say, “Prithee, sir! You have wounded the honor of my faction! I challenge you to a duel of wits in … the Cockpit!” And then everyone who’s interested can go over there and yell “Fight! Fight! Fight!” And everyone else can ignore it.

Yes, the Cockpit is a new section of the Comics Curmudgeon Community forums site. You need to register to post there if you don’t already have a forums account, but it’s free to do so. I’m not saying that anything political should be posted there, but if you find yourself getting into a heated back and forth with another poster — about politics or anything else, for that matter — then you should go over there to do it. Because if you don’t, you’ll find that the text of the posts that make up the argument on the main site will be magically replaced with a link to a thread over at the Cockpit, where said text will magically reappear. (And by “magically,” I mean “I’m going to do it.”) Feel free to bash your heads open to your heart’s content, all!