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Folks!!!!! Just two weeks from today, in Los Angeles, we have a VERY SPECIAL Internet Read Aloud, featuring Annie Rauwerda of Depths Of Wikipedia fame, which if you know about me you know is a project that is very much my jam and I am very excited about it. Please come to this one, if you’ve been putting it off! Here’s the Facebook event, and the poster!

I’m also very excited about this week’s comment of the week!

“Looks like a treacherous hike for such an old lady as Iris. What if she slips and falls, becomes injured, and Zak has second thoughts about dating a frail old woman? What if he goes to Mary for advice on how he could possibly be involved with someone so limited? What if Mary convinces him that old people aren’t all weak and fragile by decisively beating him in a dramatic arm wrestling match, spread out over a week?” –Drew Funk

Are the runners up also exciting, and hilarious? You bet!

“Nice Cassandra Cat sketch, Mr. Kat. Was she working as a model or did you sketch her here in the studio? I’m asking because I want to know if she just picked your pocket or stole your entire safe full of forged cash. Hold on, I’ve got her on speed dial. Cass? It’s me again. Mm-hm. Koppy Kat’s studio. I just want your ali… yes? …..Max, there are no penguins in the Arctic, right?” –Blackdrazon

“‘Boxing Bucks‘ is a painting by a world-renowned nature artist in the same sense that nudists started calling themselves naturists.” –matt w

“My favorite part of today’s Crock is the first throwaway panel that implies Crock is taking the call inside the giant rock Crock.” –nescio

“The threat of divorce is a gun with a single bullet, but that isn’t stopping Abbey from pulling the trigger on that empty chamber just to enjoy the click.” –jroggs

“You know, you just know, that Leroy jumped into that pile of leaves out of pure, unbridled spite. Picture it: Leroy and Loretta are walking down the sidewalk, trading hateful barbs about the doughnuts they’re about to buy, when they spot a fresh pile of leaves. ‘Remember the fun of jumping into fresh piles of leaves? Were leaves invented yet when you were a kid?’ asks Leroy. Loretta rolls her eyes. ‘I refuse to believe you’ve ever had fun,’ she says. ‘Not when I’m talking with you,’ Leroy shoots back, then takes a grim-faced running start, jumps, and lands on what was apparently a thin veneer of leaves coating a pile of rakes, boulders, and possibly an IED.” –els

“Can’t wait for them to get trapped up a tree by a wolf, forcing Iris to reexamine her priorities when she witnesses Wilbur arrive to save them only to get savagely mauled.” –Will’s Nightmare, on Twitter

“On some level, I’m amazed they were able to follow one of the most patently overdone lines that probably exists in all fiction, ‘Are you okay, honey?’, with what’s surely a line that no one in the history of language has ever said before: ‘Where you go, I go, Zak dear.’” –Amelie Wikström

“The fact that the devil mentions how many times Grimm bit the saleslady means that in each occasion Grimm had the choice not to, meaning that he had free will and salvation depends on deeds, not faith alone and predestination. Once comic strips displayed Irish and Italian caricatures, but these days they are imbued with Popery! Is this still America?!” –Ettorre

“Look at the faces on these homeowners. You think they wanted to host a 5-person formal dinner party? Where one of the guests is a rude, rambunctious child? They’ve been dreading this thing all day, and to know that dorky ol’ Henry Mitchell doesn’t want to be there either is the ultimate slap in the face.” –Carsick Yankee

“The joke is lost on me because I can’t get past Dennis’s jacket and tie, clearly from the ‘Li’l Rodney Dangerfield’ collection.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Oh, man, this is exactly what I wanted from this Funky storyline: a reworking of It’s A Wonderful Life with Crankshaft as a guardian angel who actually recommends suicide. ‘And obviously I was right. I mean, look at me now. Don’t make the same mistake I did.’” –Applemask

“I found my way to go on by becoming a bus driver. Diesel fumes take longer, but it’s way less painful, and if you ever change your mind and decide to go the short way, you can take a bunch of kids with you!” –pastordan

“A ‘shake and bake’ joke directed at a goose, or any domesticated fowl for that matter, seems like the kind of discriminatory behavior that could get a funeral parlor’s license pulled. No wonder Ms. Goose looks so shocked and offended.” –Where’s Rocky?

“That’s my husband in there. I decide what I can do about it. Now put on these scrubs and get in there! ‘But … but…’ ‘No buts! Move it.’” –Hibbleton

“This plot is pretty much being telegraphed. And since it’s Mary Worth, I mean that literally as the most modern means of communication available.” –Kevin On Earth

“I like this new trend where Gil talks strictly in silly cliches. Tune in tomorrow when he’ll teach a french class using only the phrases ‘Sacré Bleu!,’ ‘That’s the ticket!’, and ‘Do NOT go in there!’” –pugfuggly

“Full offense to Mister Thorp here, but if MY boss randomly walked up to me, asked if I would fill in for somebody out sick while I was already busy, then automatically assumed I’m saying yes before I can even get a word in edgewise, I’d be calling the union. Do incompetent coaches have unions?” –ectojazzmage

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Gil Thorp, 10/21/22

Look, we all know that there’s supposed to be an apostrophe in “Yonkers,” and the joke is that Madame Yonker’s fever is up, meaning she’s sick, but wouldn’t it be funnier if that weren’t the case? “What’s up is Madame Yonkers Fever, the latest craze where we all take turns pretending to be ‘Madame Yonkers,’ a French teacher that we made up! C’mon, Gil, join in on the fun! It’s been in Time and Newsweek, and, I assume, on TikTok.”

Dick Tracy, 10/21/22

So Steelface is the guy whose nephew is doing Vitamin’s comics play, and his particular criminal gimmick is that he’s running some kind of auto theft ring, and, unrelated, has a metal face. Today’s strip is particularly evocative: despite working in the shadowy underworld, Steelface still speaks the language of modern capitalism, in which the vehicles at the heart of his operation are reduced to mere “units” that must be “processed,” and processed more efficiently to boot. Goodwin tries to play along, but he still sees each stolen car as a unique individual and dares to share his truth with his boss and let him know what makes each of them special.

Mary Worth, 10/21/22

Sure, dating a younger man seems cool: the sex is great, and they’re more likely to have made millions from their app startup than someone your age. But there are downsides: they’re much more prone to dying in an Instagram-related accident before your very eyes. Beware!

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/20/22

You know what? You, yes you, have made the conscious choice to taked time out of your one wild and precious life to read a weblog called “The Comics Curmudgeon,” and sometimes the posts on that weblog aren’t going to be really very intellectual or high-falutin’ and will instead just boil down to “god I find this particular comic strip irritating.” Anyway, today’s Mother Goose and Grimm irritates me because I want the “lake” part of the setup to figure into the punchline. It rhymes with “bake and shake” but it turns out not be relevant at all? Usually the generic version of this kind of wish actually refers to the “ocean,” which is why using a rhyme like this that ends up a red herring is all the more annoying to me. Is there a lake that’s profoundly important to the Mother Goose and Grimm deep lore? One I don’t know about?

Judge Parker, 10/20/22

What’s it gonna be, Sam? Are you gonna listen to your soon to be ex-wife, who is divorcing you but still wants your life to be as boring as possible, or your former legal secretary, who wants to go after the the crooked cops and the meth gangs tonight with absolutely zero time spent strategizing in any way? Huh? What’s it gonna be? Think of your readers, Sam, your readers. They’re desperate for entertainment! And you’re one of the main characters in this strip, so you’re not going to die on this adventure! Probably!