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Beetle Bailey, 6/11/06

Here’s a strip that manages to completely undermine its own punchline, as near as I can tell. Because we were here to see what went on when Sarge was gone, and trust us, it wasn’t really that interesting.

Still, I am totally charmed by the rather bizarre sentence “We’re playing football with no boundaries!” I’m trying to come up with similar assertions. “We’re playing hockey without caring about what other people think!” “We’re playing baseball with no sense of proportion!” “We’re playing bridge full of contempt for civilization and its works!”

Apartment 3-G, 6/11/06

Here’s a good example of a strip where the throwaway panels in the top row actually have a great deal of impact on the meaning. When I read this strip in my paper today, without those top panels, I assumed that Lu Ann really didn’t care whether Margo came or not, but that sad face in panel two indicates that she knows all to well that Margo loves a party all too much. We readers, of course, can thank our lucky stars that this dark-haired dynamo is going to be crashing this artsy fartsy bash, because it’s gonna be wacky as hell.

I was going to complain that we just spent a week watching Tommie and Lu Ann getting ready for this shindig, and now we have to wait for Margo to primp herself as well. Then I realized that there’s a chance that we might see some Margo-in-sexy-underwear action, so I’m withholding my judgement for now. I don’t know what the hell is going on with her hand in panel four, though. That’s just weird.

Judge Parker, 6/11/06

So we’ve learned that “Raju Mishra” is Bengali for “Brick House”:

I’ve been impressed with the new Judge Parker artist’s work so far, but today he met his ultimate test: Abbey’s hair. Of course, he’s constrained by the fact that his characters have to be recognizable as the people we’ve come to know and love over the years. He’s almost managed to make Abbey look like she’s chosen a hairstyle that a non-insane person would choose to go out in public in … almost. It think that this may be as close as anyone could expect.

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Beetle Bailey, 6/10/06

For all you haters who are still hating on Lou and Kelly gettin’ busy, consider yourself lucky: we could be dwelling on the Halftracks sex life — or lack thereof — instead. This is an unfortunate topic that Beetle Bailey revisits a bit too often for my taste. While the strip isn’t generally known for its attention to detail, the look of shock and alarm on the General’s face in the second panel brings the horror home. Also disturbingly well rendered: his neck wattle.

Check out the beret and goatee on our street artist here: isn’t there some aspect of the military code that forbids officers from engaging in financial transactions with Frenchmen? Perhaps he’s just one of Alan’s “boho friends” from Apartment 3-G.

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Crock, 6/9/06

You know, there’s a certain tension that comes from having sentient talking animals exist in a cartoon world where animals are killed and eaten. Usually that tension is sort of glossed over. But if you want to be a pointlessly cruel bastard about it, hey, knock yourself out. You wouldn’t be the first.

Apartment 3-G, 6/9/06

I’m not sure where Margo suddenly arrived from, but based on how manic she is and how wide her pupils are, I’m guessing she was doing rail after rail of coke while she there. I think all of us know that she’s going to invite herself along to this party and make some kind of horrifying spectacle of herself, which is actually lucky for Lu Ann and Tommie, since she’ll distract from the fact that they’ve chosen to go to a party full of artists and hipsters decked out in pastel suit jackets like a couple of up-and-coming Junior Leaguers.

Margo is not free of fashion sins herself. This is not the first time she has rocked the popped collar, but that doesn’t make it OK.

The Middletons, 6/9/06

Revelations 13:16-19: “And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.” Good job, the Middletons for depicting the mechanized beginning of the end times, and only three days late.

Mary Worth, 6/9/06

Oh my God, are Kelly and Lou going to start going at it right up against the wall? You haters hate all you want, but this is hot stuff! Hot … hawwwwt.