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Herb and Jamaal, 6/8/06

Jamaal looks like he’s selecting a volume from one of those fake bookcases full of near-identical tomes that shysters stand in front of in late-night TV commercials for law firms specializing in personal injury cases. Maybe the artist originally intended for Jamaal to be watching TV — an environment where his loungewear would be more apropos — but, like Jamaal himself, decided to do a little last-minute semantic shifting. Not that his internal musing on PC names for his loungewear makes any kind of sense anyway. I guess what I’m trying to say is: kids, don’t start with a punchline and then work your way backwards from there. It isn’t going to work out well for you.

Gil Thorp, 6/8/06

Who says the artists over at Gil Thorp aren’t very good? I have never seen a more harrowing look of sheer horror on any comic character’s face than the one that the Rap Dog is sporting in panel two. If anyone wonders how tough a nut Jolene Raptor’s going to be to crack, all they need to do is look into Brent’s glassy, terrified eyes right there.

Apartment 3-G, 6/8/06

“Things like … my roommates’ sexual orientation!” *sob*

You know, Lu Ann’s statement in the first panel would ring truer if we had even a shred of a sense of what Tommie’s personality was like. As it is, I think I can speak for the entire Apartment 3-G-reading public in saying that I have no idea what kind of party would be Tommie’s kind of party. “Tommie, I know you don’t like leaving the house or talking to people. Thanks for making the sacrifice!”

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Dennis the Menace, 6/7/06

Yeah, your grandpa pretty much sounds like a loser, kid. I’m all for good sportsmanship and everything, but if you go around telling your friends stuff like this, I think you are pretty much permanently banned from referring to yourself as a “menace”.

9 Chickweed Lane and Pluggers, 6/7/06

If you had asked me this morning which two features would be using the same joke today, this is not a pairing I would have come up with.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/7/06

Rex looks increasingly agitated as this strip progresses. “God damn them and their medical mumbo-jumbo! Impersonating a doctor is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought. OK, what am I going to do if one of them asks me a question? There’s got to be a way to change the subject of this conversation to ice cream.”

Gil Thorp, 6/7/06

What’s wrong with him? How much time do you have, exactly, Coach?

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Mary Worth, 6/6/06

Girlfriend, the first thing we’re going to have to do is wax those forearms.