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Dennis the Menace and Hagar the Horrible, 8/5/24

Ha ha, bagpipes, amiright folks? It’s, uh, it’s honestly pretty slim pickings in the comics today so that’s what I got. I was thinking recently (ok, fine, it was when I was watching the incredible Weird Al biopic Weird) that accordions get a bad rap, like for decades they were the butt of jokes and the epitome of dorky music when in fact accordion music can be really cool and interesting! Am I willing to go out on a limb and say the same about bagpipes? Maybe not, they are pretty screechy and annoying if not done right, but they can be good too sometimes, I dunno. Anyway, mostly I’m interested in geography here, with Hagar the Horrible accurately depicting the Scots as one of the primary victims of Viking depredation and inaccurately depicting the bagpipes as sonic weapons, and Dennis the Menace depicting the cute little historic downtown of Dennis’s suburb (?) where fun civic events like the Bagpipes Festival happen, or maybe that’s just Margaret’s uncle wandering around imposing his musical and sartorial tastes on everyone without their consent, who can say.

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Marvin, 8/4/24

We all find ways to justify our worst life decisions to ourselves. Like, just for example, imagine you’ve spent 20 years of your life reading and writing about the comic strip Marvin, despite the fact that you obviously profoundly dislike it. You can try to defend yourself by being smug that you’re now intimately acquainted with the Marvin lore, that you’ve kept track of information like the fact that Marvin has a cousin named Ming Ming who was adopted from China, even if the strip creators themselves seem to have forgotten. But then a few weeks later you get blindsided by the revelation that “Megan,” who I’ve always filed away in my mind as one of the random other babies Marvin goes to pre-school with, is also his cousin? And Ming Ming’s sister? I am reeling, and humbled. Has this always been the case, or did they retcon this just to spite me personally?

Hi and Lois, 8/4/24

Two things I love about Lois’s Paris fantasy is that (a) she’s imagining going during the Olympics and assumes the city will be more or less empty and (b) she has 100% left her entire family behind in America, possibly not even telling them where she was going.

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Mark Trail, 8/3/24

Bill, I know you’re very busy with all the jobs the editor of a modern 21st century publication like Woods and Wildlife has to handle (mostly working on greenwashing sponcon articles extolling the environmental bona fides of the United Arab Emirates’ state-owned oil company), but Mark is not making a pun! He’s playing off the polysemy of a single word, not using a word that sounds like another word! Your editorial staff would be ashamed, if you hadn’t replaced them with the Grammarly browser plug-in.

Curtis, 8/3/24

The Curtis summer storyline is about how Curtis got a job at a local florist shop, which he likes, except the shop is going to close down soon because it’s not doing well financially, and its owners are going to move back to England, where they’re from. It’s been pretty boring so far, and I wasn’t really interested in it, until today, when I learned that the store parrot wants the store to fail, and is blocking innovative new revenue ideas to ensure that happens, and now I am locked in.

Marvin, 8/3/24

Good news, everyone! Marvin characters are starting to be haunted by the spectre of death! I certainly hope this trend soon starts to move in on the strip’s more prominent characters, who I’ve gotten to know and really dislike over the years.