The Comics Curmudgeon

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If Curtis starts talking about blogs, it’s over

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Curtis, 10/7/24

While we all like to see a syndicated newspaper comic keep up with times, I’m afraid the occasional bit in Curtis where Curtis faithfully tunes in to his favorite online comic, Dear Ol’ Dad, feels a little out of date, like it’s grounded in the big webcomics boom of the late ’00s and early ’10s. Not that there aren’t still plenty of good online comics, but unless you really go out of your way to follow them (“Dad, can I have $5 a month for the Dear Ol’ Dad Patreon?” “I’m broke, Curtis”), you mostly encounter them appearing at random on your Facebook or Instagram feed. If you’re lucky, they’re cloying panels where blue aliens describe ordinary situations in cutesy circumlocutions; more likely, you get either Off The Mark panels from 2014 that have had the dialogue changed to be racist, or horrifying AI slop where a crying soldier is eating dog food out of a can while dozens of children with too many fingers point and laugh at him, and the caption is “Best Comic Funny [three cry-laughing emojis].” I’m assuming what Curtis is enjoying is the latter.

Slylock Fox, 10/7/24

I think it’s funny that the text makes clear that this is an enlarged photo of Slick Smitty. The strip wants you to know that the new animal society is fully capable of producing normal-sized photos, OK? They just chose not to in this case, for some reason.

Alice, 10/7/24

Reading this panel left-to-right was fun because at first I thought, “Ha ha, it’s funny because Alice is in desperate financial straits,” but then I got to the ATM and was like “AHH AHHH IT HAS LIPS AND A TONGUE WHY ARE THEY THAT COLOR WHY IS THE TONGUE FLAPPING AROUND LIKE THAT AHHHHH”

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Sunday is for lore

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Judge Parker, 10/6/24

You might recall my earlier irritation that both Sophie and Neddy were involved in family romance drama structurally similar enough that I thought maybe they were falling in with the same dramatic family? Well, it turns out not, but after Sophie experienced some family drama and rejected her initial suitor for his hunkier (?) older brother, we’re now entering a scenario where Neddy, attempting to repair her fiance’s family drama, is discovering that Things Are Not All They Seem, and also that said fiance’s older (?) brother is also hunkier (??). More on this story as events warrant! (So not very soon, honestly.)

Shoe, 10/6/24

You know, you’d think that after spending literally 20 years complaining about how the comic strip Shoe has more or less forgotten that all its characters are birds, I would’ve pretty much mentally explored all aspects of the Shoeniverse’s whole bird-person deal. But this strip made me realize that until today I had never contemplated an extremely key question: Are the Shoe bird-people characters the size of people, or the size of birds? Because a spider big enough to seem menacing to a bird is still scary, I guess, but significantly less scary than a spider big enough to menace a person (or a person-sized bird).

The Phantom, 10/6/24

Speaking of lore you’ve never thought much about, do you think of superheroes as having exactly one costume that they wear all the time (or at least all the time when they aren’t in their secret identity), or multiple instances of the costume, like a closet full of them, so they can clean them and reduce wear and tear? Today’s revelation that the Skull Cave has a “Costume Chamber” doesn’t explicitly answer this question, but it does imply that in an “only one costume” scenario, each Phantom begins his tenure by ritually stripping the outfit off the corpse of his predecessor, which honestly I wouldn’t put past them.

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We all want to do this when our computers make us mad, honestly

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The Phantom, 10/5/24

One of the more, uh, problematic aspects of the Phantom lore is that the Phantoms have been resident in Africa for 23 generations but have maintained their power over the superstitious natives by keeping contact with their ancestral Europe and bamboozling the poor locals with advanced Western science and technology. That’s why today’s strip, in which he refuses to believe that this robot could possibly be a robot and starts banging on the outside with a rock demanding that the guy inside come out, is pretty funny. On the other hand, the real Elon Musk had a big reveal of a humanoid robot that turned out to be a guy in a robot suit, and then later did a big reveal of another humanoid robot that turned out to have a guy just off screen operating it by remote control, so maybe I shouldn’t be quick to make fun.

Gasoline Alley, 10/5/24

By saying “the black one’s best” but also “the grey tabby’s mine”, little Ava Luna, or possibly Aubee or Sophie, who can tell, is submitting to the patriarchy’s dictates that male siblings should have first choice of everything. This isn’t the sort of girl-power pluck and gumption she showed back when she time travelled with the help of an evil talking doll!

Dennis the Menace, 10/5/24

Uh oh, it appears we’ve made an error over here at Dennis the Menace HQ! This was supposed to be the punchline for a panel showing Margaret and Dennis dancing. But then we realized that that would never happen, so we replaced it with a panel of some kids standing around and holding books while looking at Dennis. But then we never wrote a new punchline for it. Our bad!