Post Content

Shoe, 10/31/21

This is clearly a Macbeth-themed restaurant, but the Perfesser does a Hamlet joke when he orders and isn’t just immediately ejected onto the street? Why did we even teach these birds English if they won’t commit to the bit?

Mary Worth, 10/31/21

Yes, yes, this is good, the absolute 100% funniest possible way for Wilbur to tell Estelle he still has feelings for her is for him to blurt out “Ugh, I tried to have sex with some other lady but she wouldn’t because my dumb brain won’t let me forget about you, why are you still ruining my life” just before he leaves her apartment.

Dennis the Menace, 10/31/21

“My costume is better because all I have to do to make it real is die.”

Post Content

Marvin, 10/30/21

I’ll say this for Marvin: when it introduced its new fish characters a few weeks back, it could have played it safe and just used them as another type of creature to make piss and poop jokes about. And, let’s be real, there are plenty of piss and poop jokes involving them — this is still Marvin, after all — but there are also lots of jokes about how these two fish constantly irritate one another, but are nevertheless trapped in a bowl not much larger than themselves, forever, and honestly those I quite enjoy.

Daddy Daze, 10/30/21

Wait, does the Daddy Daze baby use “ma” for his monosyllabic babble with his mother, and yet “ba” rather than “da” for his father? Perhaps this recurring snub is what’s driven the man to his current state of madness, in which he insists on treating the baby’s nonsense noises as if they encoded complex semantic meaning that only he can parse, rather than simply acknowledging that the baby likes his ex better.

Post Content

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/29/21

Today’s “punchline” is some seriously low-rent “The real scary clowns are those clowns in Congress, amiright people” BS. But you have to admit it would be pretty fun if national TV news bureaus hired some half-assed Bela Lugosi imitator to do a “spooky” intro to each broadcast, and even more fun if they just made the anchors do it.

Gil Thorp, 10/29/21

A few years back, Gil Thorp did a pretty great storyline where the team student-manager was giving one of their players fake Adderall in order to boost his confidence and thereby his play, which is sort of like what we’re seeing here, where Boyd Spiller is using his YouTube-derived bogus hypnosis skills to convince everyone that he can improve their football and other talents. The difference, I guess, is that the student-manager knew the Adderall he was handing out was fake, whereas Boyd is probably going to convince himself that he really is a master of hypnosis, with hopefully extremely hilarious results.

Zits, 10/29/21

I don’t really care much about the content of this Zits, but I do want to point out that in the span of time it takes Walt and his son to utter four sentences, he’s removed a bone-in ham from the refrigerator, used it to assemble a large, sloppy sandwich, and completely consumed it and licked the remaining mustard off his fingers, a sequence terrifyingly dagwoodian in its efficiency.