“I was about to let Beetle in on the secret I’ve discovered in my 23 years of cooking for myself: You can just eat potatoes with the peel and you get more flavor and more nutrition. Though I suggest washing them carefully and peeling off any unsightly black parts. Only after staring at the strip for another minute did I figure out he’s talking about punishment detail. Of course Beetle gets to personally peel pretty much every single potato consumed by Camp Swampy. And on that reflection, I wonder, is a lifestyle of constantly disrupting exercises and disobeying his officers really worth it?” –Amelie Wikström
“Ha ha, oh yes, how silly, you’re right. I certainly don’t have a one-way flight to some South American tropical paradise where I’ll never have to hear about spreadsheets or kids or fucking Sunbeam ever again. Let me just, uh, pack this suitcase for no reason. You just go back to sleep, and if you hear something that sounds like an Uber outside at 3 AM, ignore it.” –Schroduck
“Ed’s swinish co-worker might be passive-aggressing him by making sure ‘great’ didn’t modify ‘wife and two kids,’ but teasing Ed about his wife won’t work. Helen is way out of his league looks-wise, and her black heart full of evil is frankly a bonus, for him.” –matt w
“There’s a lot that I don’t like about this strip, but I have to admit, the art is good. Today, for instance, they’ve managed to perfect capture the look of a guy who you absolutely hate in spite of the fact that he’s pleasant and nice, in a way that makes you realize that maybe the problem is with you. I mean, most people would realize that, not Dustin’s dad, obviously.” –pugfuggly
“I, for one, support Suburban Fairy Tales pivoting toward a darker, more Brothers Grimm oriented take on their characters. The world is full of dangers, and the children in their pedestrian hostile suburbs need to learn the truth!” –Philip
“I can’t believe I’m saying this about a strip in which a man appears to be smoking a corncob pipe through his nose, but TOO REAL, HI & LOIS.” –Guts Dozier
“Poodles are depicted as sexpots in comics. Grimm is not having memory problems here, he’s upset that he can’t control his sex addiction. Mother Goose had better wash her throw pillows.” –nescio
“Dude … you’re wearing a hat that says ‘Trash.’ You knew what the job was when you took it: collecting refuse, lying about recycling plastic, laundering mob money, and occasionally making a corpse disappear.” –Old Man Shadow
“Professor, I’m writing to you from the Sullivan site. it is everything we hoped, I feel it will finally unlock the secrets of early 21st century society. Oh Professor, it is astonishing, it seems that these people actually worshipped plastic! I believe that, as an act of devotion to their hydorcarbonic gods, they heaped great mounds of broken plastic a few miles away and downwind of their cities. I do not wish to get ahead of myself, Professor, but I believe this discovery will secure our place as the greatest archeologists since the mysterious events that made the people of our future time incredibly stupid.” –BananaSam
“I’m still trying to work out if it has a nucleus, mitochondria, endoplasmic reticulum, or lysosomes! Say, do you feel like we’re being absorbed through an external membrane?” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“When this joke was written weeks ago, it was about the cost of eggs due to the bird flu. But now it can be applied to the fact that tariffs can fail to restore domestic production because they increase the cost of production inputs! Sometimes the comics production lag can accidentally improve a joke!” –Ettorre
“Can’t beat a Horrocks Family party. NOTHING says rockin’ like a couple of balloons, a plate of sandwiches all to yourself, and hangin’ with the same dude you apparently spend every day of your life with. If you hold that comic up to your ear, you can almost hear ‘Who Let The Dogs Out.’” –A Grave Mind
“Dick Tracy is a manly man, but he’s also hip and with it. While he wouldn’t go anywhere near the internet or, ugh, social media, even for an investigation, he’s not averse to people bringing him printed out screen shots.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Like many people, today’s strip confuses the difference between ‘frogs’ and ‘toads.’ Here are some key indicators: frogs are smooth-skinned and are the favored form of enchanted princes, whereas toads have dry bumpy skin which you lick to get high. Hope that helps!” –TheDiva
“More evidence, if such were needed, that ‘Dennis’ is a figment of Mr. Wilson’s burgeoning psychosis. Always there, in the same clothes, when he’s least wanted, a voice in Wilson’s ear, telling him exactly what he doesn’t want to hear, raising his blood pressure. In this case, Wilson is reasonably worried about his health, but then … there’s that annoying little akuma-boy, taunting, ‘You look great! Eat! Eat all you want, of delicious butter, salt, meat!’ A bead of flop sweat trickles down Wilson’s temple. Is the terrifying imp in his bathroom correct? Should he give in to temptations — minor temptations to be sure, but at his age definitely inadvisable? ‘Read meat doesn’t raise cholesterol,’ the smiling imp whispers.” –Chance
“Ghosts often serve as otherworldly portents within fiction, issuing ominous predictions or dire warnings to the living. While the Ghost of Pop(s) doesn’t expressly say it, the subtext of his warning is still chilling: if you live and die wearing a very stupid hat, you will be damned for eternity to wear a very stupid hat.” –Wilktoast
“Where does Wilson hide that giant scale when not in use? Seriously, with two seniors in the house and a cramped bathroom, that’s a major trip hazard. Let alone maneuvering around Dennis who seems to want to hang out in there.” –Hibbleton
“Man, I’ve never seen the Rex Morgan, M.D., narration box this worked up before. It knows the guy’s trying to be stealthy, and is just screaming, who is this guy, why is he here, pay attention to him. I wonder if it knows that only the reader can hear it, and that we don’t particularly care. Either way, what a tragic way to achieve sentience.” –Dan
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