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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/11/25

WHO IS THIS MAN, AND WHY IS HE IN THE CROWD? I dunno. Probably he’s the person who was responsible for the stalker guy dying somehow is my guess, what with his cryptic but ominous thought-ballooning. Actually, with his unassuming demeanor and stealthy observational methods, this guy seems like he’s something of a stalker himself. Send a stalker to catch — and possibly kill — a stalker, that’s what I always say, and it looks like I’ve been proven right once again.

Gil Thorp, 4/11/25

A spectre is haunting Milford — the spectre of “Pop,” the beloved dead coach who was somehow even worse than Gil at coaching. Note the “Turn off the lights when you leave!” sign Gil left on the wall: he doesn’t want people seeing the ghost, because he knows that will inevitably lead to the ghost becoming the latest in the parade of unpaid Milford coaching assistants, like bitter janitor Steve Luhm and fake Negro League star Clambake, except dead, which is probably against school policy in some way.

Garfield, 4/11/25

Liz, that’s very much a sandwich. Like, I don’t know what the Paws, Inc., brain trust thinks veggie lasagna with tofu, cheese, and kale looks like, but I’m here to tell them that it pretty much looks like lasagna. There was no need for them to resort to putting clip art of a leaf on top of clip art of a sandwich to convey this idea. They could’ve just put clip art of a leaf on top of clip art of a pan of lasagna! I refuse to believe that Paws, Inc., doesn’t have very easy access to clip art of a pan of lasagna!

Dennis the Menace, 4/11/25

This body positivity pep talk is honestly one of the least menacing things I’ve ever seen! Except for the part where Dennis is in Mr. Wilson’s bathroom while Mr. Wilson is trying to weigh himself, I guess. That part’s pretty worrisome. I know we’ve just inured ourselves to that kind of thing but it’s still not great.

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Dick Tracy, 4/10/25

So the guy in the suit is lead detective in the case of the almost-stolen corpse, and I guess he figured out who the corpse used to be and was looking at his social media accounts and … bingo! Our favorite idiot nephews! I suppose the detective is using clipped, manly noir talk when he just says “nephews” instead of “his nephews,” but, you know, maybe not. Maybe he’s just saying they have the vibe of nephews about them. They seem real nephewy. They’re somebody’s sibling’s sons, if you follow me.

Wizard of Id, 4/10/25

The main thrust of this strip, which is about the Wizard of Id’s wife having a horny hallucination, is fine, even though I’m not sure why she heard the frog talk before she touched its hallucinogenic skin to her mouth …. maybe it’s magical but also induces hallucinations in a normal, scientific way? Whatever. My favorite part is actually the fact that the Wizard is casually enjoying a martini in his armchair. The guy has a tough job, his wife is horny for a frog, he deserves to unwind! And he’s doing it in a sophisticated way.

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Suburban Fairy Tales, 4/9/25

I made a fairly embarrassing error in my post about Suburban Fairy Tales a couple days ago, in which I implied that the second little pig built his house out of straw, when any idiot knows that that was the first little pig’s thing, and the second little pig built his out of wood, which is a more normal way to do it but apparently still leaves you vulnerable to wolves. Anyway, this has me really second-guessing myself when it comes to fairy tale lore; like, I don’t think there’s a beloved hippie sheep character named “Sir Lambelot” that we all learned about from bedtime stories growing up, but can I really be trusted about this sort of thing anymore?

Herb and Jamaal, 4/9/25

It’s true, Jamaal: when assessing the viability of a business plan, you need to take into account the price of production inputs! Not sure if that’s “funny” per se, but at least it’s educational.

Dennis the Menace, 4/9/25

So Dennis thinks that chairs, and maybe other pieces of furniture, are weird fucked-up-shaped animals, that we kill and then sit on? And most but not all of them are vertebrates? Pretty menacing. Ignorant, but also so unsettling as to be pretty darn menacing.