Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/28/21

If you want the answer to “Why is Rex Morgan boring now” in a nutshell, here it is: one of the strip’s more devious characters has to be begged to start some drama and she simply doesn’t care. Her brother is literally shoving documents in her face that say “That big secret you just heard about on the news, that everyone wants to know the answer to? Well here’s the answer!!!” And she’s just like “Enh, probably it isn’t and if it is why bother.” Remember, this strip’s readers had to deal with someone they barely know getting blown up off-panel just a few weeks ago, so they aren’t emotionally prepared for any excitement right now.

Marvin, 11/28/21

The rhythm of today’s Marvin is truly shambolic, the narrative lurching about in fits and starts and ending with a punchline delivered by an irritatingly out-of-the blue talking gorilla. Still, I kind of appreciate that the strip pauses for a panel where Marvin locks eyes with us and says, smiling, “Grandpa’s at the doctor all the time. He’s very sick and in constant pain. He’ll be dead soon!”

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/27/21

Here’s the thing, folks: I spent a lot of brain power this week remembering the various Funkyverse familial relationships and it’s supposed to be a holiday, so I refuse to do the digging through my archives/mind palace necessary to determine whether Edward’s older sister is in fact Nancy — the One Designated Bad Rex Morgan Teen who does Bad Teen things like throwing superspreader parties and vandalizing mobsters’ cars — or is maybe just some other girl with similar hair. Anyway, it turns out that that despite Rex and June’s sigh of relief about Sarah’s non-fame, it turns out that becoming a new coauthor on a wildly successful series of children’s books does in fact spark curiosity, and if you have a big mouth about it Nancy (?) is going to blow your cover sooner or later.

Marvin, 11/27/21

Marvin has been doing a whole week about the title character hanging out with “Sirexa” (get it, it’s like Siri + Alexa!!!) and since we’re still in the Thanksgiving weekend here I’m going to go ahead and give thanks that, when the time came to do the hilarious joke about this digital assistant device eating, we did not discover the round opening at the top of its body to be an awful, jawless mouth, like a lamprey’s or something similarly unpleasant. We can’t see whatever no doubt nightmarish maw it’s now shoveling popcorn into, but at least we were spared that.

Post Content

Enjoy digesting your Thanksgiving meal (or whatever meal, I don’t judge) with this comment of the week:

“Wilbur is a ‘diamond in the rough’ in the sense that dealing with him involves immense human suffering, and his value is overinflated.” –TheDiva

These runners up are also something to be thankful for!

“Huntin’? Nope, been hikin’! Haw haw! But in all seriousness, it looks like we ain’t eatin’ today.” –jroggs

“Sarge, you liar, you said you had to ‘go yell at Beetle,’ but then all you did was dully answer a question and then, a few panels later, ask for a progress report. I can excuse the attempted murder of one of your soldiers, but lying to a dog? Unacceptable!” –Joe Blevins

“So …. Angus is the strongest baby in the world? From now on I’m going to interpret his ba’s as ‘I could kill you,’ ‘I could so kill you,’ and ‘Your whimsical observations would not prevent me from killing you.’” –jenna

“I think it’s probably worth noting that this poor, beaten Viking not only offers Hagar sage advice about the future, but also appears to be wearing the same outfit. Is he perhaps receiving a dire vision of things to come? This may or may not be supported by how this other Viking does not appear in the first panel, and in fact seems to surprise Hagar with his response. I say maybe because regular human interaction does seem to be lost on Walker-Browne most of the time.” –Manjack

“The moral: Neither hypnosis or psychology will help you if your offensive line sucks.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“Mary mixes up another batch of ‘Meddlin’ Muffins’ as she cooks up the next plot development in Wilbur’s relationship with Estelle. She sets the oven for 550 degrees and the timer for seven hours. ‘I do believe they will be badly burnt,’ she breathes with a smile.” –Charterstoned

“It’s Tuesday of Thanksgiving week. Things will have to move pretty fast, especially for a comic strip, but there’s still enough time for Wilbur to get swept up when an unnamed federal agency storms Pets R Us for blatantly violating the trademark of a failing-but-still-extant toy chain. If he’s disappeared somewhere deep in a black-site detention center at an undisclosed location by Thursday, we will all truly have plenty to be thankful for.” –Doctor Moreau

“Is this what it will be like if I still have my wits and I end up living with a person with Alzheimer’s? No, I absolutely refuse to do such ludicrously unnatural expository dialogue. If they don’t remember who I am, I’ll just tell them I’m the UPS guy or something.” –Peanut Gallery

“Good thing we’re doing the ‘right’ thing and exploiting our young daughter’s skills to a corporation instead! Now there’s a group that’s known for respecting artistic talent in an ethical fashion!” –2+2=7

“At some point you’ve made enough muffins.” –Professor Well Actually

“Bow tie-wearing thug with a dame in a cabaret, boss in a gimp suit using ridiculous code names to talk about coworkers, owl-like bodyguard outside the door with a bullwhip, and all I can think is that most ridiculous thing in this strip is the idea that you can send texts in bold.” –pastordan

“Heavy-lidded expression? Baking? California? I’m not sure if I’m more disappointed in Mary Worth for getting involved with pot or in pot for getting involved with Mary Worth.” –Irrischana

“Harry has bodies in the basement! But they’re frozen turkeys! Human bodies would be tastier.” –Ettorre

“A comic strip called Funky Winkerbean has to remind you who or what a ‘Funky Winkerbean’ actually is, and now there’s no room for a joke.” –Rosstifer

“Absolutely dying for this plot to end with the revelation that yes, fish were too great a responsibility for Wilbur. He needed to sprinkle flakes in water once a day and occasionally clean a glass box, and wound up just shouting at them that his girlfriend left him, do you understand, no it’s always about you and your problems, god even these fish don’t like me. ‘A diamond in the rough,’ Mary chuckles as Wilbur dangles fish #2 over the toilet.” –Dan

“‘The Dinkles host a super-spreader event’ is not a plotline I expected to see here but is one I am very much looking forward to. Get closer, everyone! Talk right into each other’s mouths!” –pugfuggly

“From very recent experience, I can tell you that you can cook a meal or you can stand around introducing people, but you can’t do both.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Wilbur’s quest for existential and romantic fulfillment takes a merry turn as he lugs the aquarium down to the ocean in hopes of attracting a mermaid.” –Daisy

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!