Post Content

Daddy Daze, 9/12/21

Guys, look. I never wanted to have a non-trivial percentage of my waking hours haunted by thoughts of what caused the marriage of the Daddy Daze daddy and the Daddy Daze mommy to unravel. I didn’t ask for this life. And yet here we are! This pair had this baby, who is … well, I’m still not entirely certain how old the Daddy Daze baby is supposed to be, but he literally can be cupped in one of the Daddy Daze daddy’s hands, so he can’t be that old, and so they were clearly together (or at least “together,” nudge wink) not that long ago! And obviously they’re modeling a good amicable post-divorce co-parenting situation for the readers at home, but I for one am not buying it! What’s the drama here? Does the Daddy Daze daddy want to get back together with the Daddy Daze mommy? Today’s strip certainly points in that direction, in my opinion! Does this mean the whole thing where he purports to interpret his infant son’s babbling as coherent language is nothing more than a bit to amuse his ex and maybe, maybe, worm his way back into her heart? I had always assumed that this ongoing pantomime got its start when some combination of loneliness and sleep deprivation had simply shattered his mind, but this is quite frankly an even more depressing and pathetic explanation.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 9/12/21

This is actually a decent joke, but I frankly don’t think it fits Leroy’s character very well. I refuse to believe that even in high school he was either earnest enough to join the marching band or socially skilled enough to make friends.

Post Content

Shoe, 9/11/21

Spending too much energy thinking about world-building in newspaper comics is probably a waste of time, but [gestures at thousands of posts on this blog] that has certainly never stopped me before, and I feel like today’s Shoe offers us an interesting view into the weird sequence of physical/biological aberrations that led to the strip’s lived environment. Like, they live in the trees, like birds? Only they wear shoes and walk like people? I particularly appreciate the casual way the Perfesser holds onto that branch in panel two, exactly the way a person walking along a rounded log would, and exactly the way a bird hopping along a tree branch (who one would expect to have wings instead of hands, for one thing) wouldn’t. Anyway, I’m not one for biology defining destiny, but surely these mutations are the root cause of these poor birds developing unhealthy societal concepts like “phones” and “the 1970s.”

Mary Worth, 9/11/21

Hey remember when Saul used to be surly jerk who hated everyone and everything until Mary forced him, without his consent, to get in touch with his emotions? Well, it looks like he’s made it his mission to cajole people into doing the emotional work on their own, so they don’t find themselves tricked by Mary into doing it the hard way!

Post Content

I returned from my absence this week to once again judge the living and the dead, the funny and the not-funny, and I decree the following to be this week’s top comment:

“Actually, Daddy Keane isn’t listening to a word coming out of Jeffy’s lemon-headed-mouth. He’s completely blown away by this retconned edition of Goldilocks and the 3 Bears. ‘What the … No Tudor house in forest? A grass hut next to some palm trees? What the HELL man’” –Carsick Yankee

These runners up are also amusing in my sight:

“Don’t bug me about making plans — I’ve been spending all my time learning to smoke through a mask.” –Pozzo

“It is my lady; O, it is my love! O that she knew she were! She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it. I am too bold; ’tis not to me she speaks. [Editor: Too high-falutin, William. Please re-work.] Can’t believe she broke up with me because I don’t get along with her stupid cat. It’s not my fault she has a crazy furball as a pet.” –I Used To Post At Comics Curmudgeon, And Now I Still Do

“For a supposed badass, Dennis is sure into some lame shit. ‘Wanna watch two old guys play chess?’ ‘Do I!’ [cloud of dust as he takes off]” –Joe Blevins

“Straight-up mocking Mr. Wilson’s early-onset dementia is easily the most menacing thing Dennis has ever done. Meanwhile, straight-up reminding DtM’s core readership of their own inevitable mental decline isn’t even the worst thing the strip has done this week.” –Doctor Moreau

“‘What friends?’ I said, hoping against hope that I put enough acid into the words to hide the pain. What friends indeed? Victims, co-workers, nemesii, but friends? What friends? A tear rolled down my cheek into a mask already soaked. That’s why I wear black. To hide the tears. To hide the pain.” –Voshkod

“I look forward to some great banter between these two, along the lines of ‘Ha ha, usually the only magazines I deal with are the ones that I empty into fleeing suspects!’” –pugfuggly

“‘You’re 10 seconds late, Kianna!’ ‘Sorry, coach! I had to say hi back to someone I was unfortunately within earshot of!’ ‘You had to? I’ve had enough of your politeness. You’re off the team.’” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Look, if I were reading a copy of Goldilocks and the 3 Bears that was the same length as Little Women I might drop the voices halfway through, too. I get it, Jeffy: you pick the longest book imaginable in order to stave off bedtime a little longer. We all did it. But you can’t ask for Jim Dale-quality narration AND the longest fairy tale in existence. Pick one. For your father’s sanity. Look at his eyes, Jeffy. LOOK AT HIS EYES.” –els

“Did kids used to brag about their parents, or did they used to say ‘my dad can beat up your dad’ in an admission of the shockingly low threshold of willingness to resort to violence to address personal and social problems?” –Francisco Arrowroot

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!