Post Content

Is it Friday? Is it time for the comment of the week? You better believe it buster!

“Toby is wearing two black armbands: one for her job, one for her marriage.” –Joe Blevins

Is it time for the runners up, too? Heck yeah, buddy!

” Superman has his ‘Fortress of Solitude.’ This guy chills in the ‘Fortress of Decrepitude.’” –Pozzo

“We have tons of gritty and realistic reboots of Batman where the guy with limitless finances, superhuman intellect and peak physical condition has access to gadgets well beyond normal technology — superhero without superpowers my ass! So it’s nice to see a gritty and realistic reboot where the superhero will die from the infected bite of a meth head.” –Ettorre

“Criminals will be dealt brute justice by this dark, gritty Charles Nelson Reilly.” –Donny Ferguson, on Twitter

“Big mistake, one Dick Tracy appearance absorbs you fully into the Tribune Cinematic Universe. You can never die now, Gasoline Alley might end, but Skeezix is condemned to an eternal half-life alongside Brenda Starr, Little Orphan Annie, and whoever else the syndicate has got knocking around. Li’l Abner? Terry and the Pirates? Maybe the Love Is… couple can do a cameo getting arrested for indecent exposure.” –Dan

“What is that piece of paper Jughaid’s casually pushing toward Miz Carter? A warning? A ransom note for Miz Prunelly? A list of supplies needed to survive in that impassable tangle of desks? The cold, dead eyes of the children and their lifeless smiles tell us nothing other than the fact that Hootin’ Holler is now the Village Of The Damned.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“If you’ve ever wondered what the start of the zombie apocalypse in the Newnited States might look like, well, it involves students who are just happy to receive the attention, the sweet undivided attention, of the teacher, or any adult, really. Tomorrow, they will feast on human flesh, or be feasted upon. Today, they receive emotional validation!” –pastordan

“It’s Westview. After you get married you get to have ‘you know’ (cancer).” –nescio

“I really want to know more about Gregg Hamm, the legally blind 50-year-old high school student who drinks coffee out of a solid gold mug. What’s his backstory, do you think?” –Effluvius Erratus

“Wait! I actually get married and have … you know … ? some kind of extensive reconstructive surgery that explains why nothing about our faces is even remotely similar even though we’re allegedly the same person? Am I in witness protection? Do they radically reshape your skull for that where you’re from? The future sounds cool!” –Shoe Substitutes

“I resent that today’s Crankshaft gave the titular crank the last word. I would’ve rather it just ended on Lillian telling him he’s irritating. In fact, in place of a ‘joke,’ I’d love it if from now on Crankshaft ended with another character telling him ‘You’re annoying,’ ‘No one likes you,’ ‘We all want you dead,’ ‘You suck,’ etc.” –jenna

“At first this looks like just a harmless pun, but if you look closer at Leroy’s mouth you’ll see that he’s belching that entire sentence.” –pugfuggly

“FFS, if your superhero name is going to be ‘The Street Sweeper‘ at least wear some coveralls and a high visibility vest instead of dressing like a two bit private dick. Batman’s not out there fighting crime in a polo and khakis. No, no matter how impractical the costume is, he’s wearing the goddamned gimmick with pride.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“What am I gonna do with this broom? I’ll tell you. I’m going to mildly annoy you with it, but not in a manner that will even so much as interrupt your ability to address me in complete sentences.” –Not Greg Evans

“Before I had a kid, I might have been mildly amused by that Family Circus. Now that I have a kid, I’m just shocked and dismayed they had the audacity to bring 4 (4!) (4!!!!!) kids to an art museum. It would have been less annoying for the other patrons if they had let loose rabid ocelots.” –jerp+jump

“[Smash cut to Ian taking an extended sip from a tea cup] ‘Welllll, wellllll, welllll’” –Kevin On Earth

“Billy seethes as Bil tries to put a positive spin on a bad situation. ‘This restraining order doesn’t mention the post-Carolingian downtown annex specifically.’” –Hibbleton

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

Post Content

Dennis the Menace and The Family Circus, 4/15/22

Oh, man, this is it. This is the nadir. The Keane Kids have ruined their parents’ outing to an art museum, Dolly and Jeffy are consumed with self-loathing, Billy is actively furious at the family’s attempt to to expand their cultural horizons. Meanwhile, what’s going on with Dennis? He’s weeping because he stubbed his toe and now his mom is offering to pray for him? Honestly, what the fuck. That is so much less menacing than the Family Circus that the menace levels could not be detected by the most carefully calibrated instruments menace science has to offer. For shame, for shame!

Mary Worth, 4/15/22

Sadly, this whole week has been taken up not by more hilarious dream sequence action but by Toby telling Mary about her little Cal problem in judiciously elliptical detail, which has been significantly less fun. I do like today’s strip, though, as it implies that Ian cares less about Toby’s romantic fidelity than he does about her ability to “handle” sticky situations, which I assume means that either Helen or Cal — or possibly both — will be dead by the end of the week.

Post Content

The Lockhorns, 4/14/22

Really loving Loretta’s expression here. Instead of starting a sentence to sound like a compliment but twisting it into a cruel taunt by the end, as is his wont, Leroy has instead simply started a sentence to sound like a compliment only to use it as a springboard for some dumb bit of wordplay he thought up during dinnertime’s customary icy silence, and frankly, she can’t figure out how to feel about that. With the cruel taunt, at least she knows he’s thinking about her.

Marvin, 4/14/22

The phrase “social distancing” rocketed to the top of the public’s mind roughly two years ago in the opening stages of the COVID-19 pandemic, and I don’t know what possibility is sadder: that it took the Marvin creative team that much time to come up with the extremely terrible “smell distancing” variation (it doesn’t even have the same number of syllables, Jesus Christ) or that they came up with it right away but only now have decided that it’s no longer “too soon.”

Judge Parker, 4/14/22

Hey, remember the “April hides out with her family” plotline in Judge Parker that was so boring that I barely ever mentioned it on this blog, which exists entirely to crack wise about the boring antics in the world comic strips? Well, apparently within the Parkerverse it’s was so exciting that it’ll merit building a whole season of streaming TV around it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/14/22

You know what is exciting, for the moment? The current Rex Morgan, M.D., plot! Ha ha, goading a street tough into saying “What’re you going to do — hit me with that broom?” and then immediately hitting him with that broom is a very funny bit and I approve. Mind you, it doesn’t look like our hero’s hitting him particularly hard, but in his defense he is nursing a shoulder injury.

Shoe, 4/14/22

OH MY GOD THERE ARE BIRD JEWS EVERYBODY

JEWS