Metapost: Of the many comments, this is the top one (of the week)
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Title says it all, folks. Our of all the comments I read, this made me guffaw the most heartily:
“You have to admit, if anyone is going to understand a scam in which art is only a tertiary concern at best, it’s the makers of a Walker-Browne legacy comic strip.” –pastordan
There was no denying that it was a tough decision, though, what with these other contenders:
“‘Hey, Loweezy, I caught some dadburn fish!’ ‘That’s great, I’ll cook ’em up with some butter an’ eggs!’ ‘Oh, ah, whoops, I swiped your butter an’ eggs money while I was looking for worms to catch the fish, and lost it gambling. My bad!’ It’s basically O. Henry’s Gift of the Magi, but the opposite.” –BigTed
“Cassie stole the diamond in front of several eyewitnesses, and Slylock knows from experience that she’s just going to go straight home and answer the door in a towel saying she couldn’t possibly have stolen the diamond because she’s been taking a bath for the past two hours even though there’s a utility bill stating that her water’s been cut off for weeks or some shit.” –jroggs
“The next week of Dustin strips will portray all the principal and peripheral cast being devoured by increasing hordes of raccoons. Then the next few weeks after that will show the remaining world population being swarmed and gruesomely devoured by raccoons. Then the feature will continue on for several years as just drawings of desolate landscapes and abandoned buildings with the raccoon swarms just kind of swarming all over everything, until the comic is eventually cancelled for being TOO popular.” –The Great Joe Bivins
“I don’t want to be one of those entitled fans complaining that female characters are no longer depicted as sexy. But Cassandra is a female cat burglar — there will be always an element of seduction, you cannot put her into sensible clothes! You made a sexy furry? Sorry, now you must live with what you have created!” –Ettorre
“I’ve pretty much heard everything before. I’m terribly old and long for the release that death will bring.” –Pozzo
“Wilbur is just absolutely flummoxed by the idea, even the concept, of buying toys for a small creature in your care, and every day another thread in the Dawn tapestry comes into view.” –Dan
“This strip has finally gotten its formula down to the essence. Panel 1: introduce new idea. Panel 2: ‘Oh yeah? What about poop?’” –pugfuggly
“I like how shocked Hi looks in panel 2, like he’s seeing Thirsty for the first time. ‘This rumpled, slouching, hair-growing-wild-over-his-eyes, beer stinking slob who’s been my neighbor and best friend for longer than living memory,’ he thinks. ‘Could he be a fashion iconoclast?’” –Amelie Wikström
“You know, I actually got drunk before I picked out this outfit last night. Then I got even more drunk and fell asleep on it. It worked out great, as you can see. Anyway, I’m throwing my life away.” –made of wince
“Pluggers invented low-rise jeans. Take THAT, you coastal hipster elites!!” –Where’s Rocky
“Mary Worth shows us what happens when both players select the same dog in a 16-bit fighting game.” –Lee Sherman
“You’re not going to jail, Abby. Jail is a county or municipal lockup for misdemeanor imprisonments of a year or less. Arson’s a felony. You’re going to prison.” –cheech wizard
“I wouldn’t think you’d need someone to ‘recommend’ chew toys to you, but then again, this is Wilbur we’re talking about. ‘How about this? Is this a good chew toy?’ ‘No, Wilbur, that’s heartworm medication.’ ‘What about this?’ ‘…That’s a chinchilla.’” –TheDiva
“Inwardly, Carol sighed. She knew how this ended, in a musty apartment heavy with the smell of gin and despair, trying to pretend to be interested in a monster until she had just enough evidence to call in the heavies with the long guns. She screwed her smile to the sticking point, twirled her hair slightly, and leaned forward, and watched Wilbur’s pupils dilate in response. She had him, and soon she’d prove that he wasn’t fit. Not a good fit for his dog. It was a difficult and sometimes disgusting job, but Carol knew what she was getting into when she became an undercover agent for the ASPCA.” –Voshkod
“How unfortunate. We could have used his skills to bore the enemy to death. Well, there’s only one option left. Get me … Buck. And may god have mercy on our souls.” –Schroduck
“Daisy’s panel one expression is pretty accurate for a dog who just realized the mailman is wearing a uniform that might be made out of her parents.” –Irrischano
“What better use of a visual medium than telling the readers about an image they can’t see?” –Urlance Woolsbane
“Incidentally, by Wilbur’s ‘new friend,’ they mean Carol. Pierre considers himself more of an associate.” –Joe Blevins
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