Comment of the Week

My little friend is not so little anymore, Toby! In fact, she's quite large! Enormous, in fact! Nine foot six and getting taller by the day! It's actually quite alarming! We're getting into I'm a Virgo territory here! Did you watch that miniseries, by the way? It was on Amazon Prime a couple of years ago! Jharrel Jerome is a treasure! Some great performances by Elijah Wood and Walton Goggins as well, which reminds me that I need to start my Justified rewatch. Oh, Margo Martindale is another treasure, especially as a voice in BoJack Horseman. Anyway, Olive is a giant, is the point I'm trying to make.

els

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What’s that? Your top comment of the week? That’s right!

“I’m loving Billy’s Rebel-Without-A-Cause-cool lean here. ‘What are you rebelling against?’ ‘Whaddya got? No seriously, what do you got to rebel against, I have no access to the outside world or larger cultural trends.’” –Liz L

And your runners up are hilarious as well!

“I like the fact that Hi is seen having coffee with his breakfast and dinner, but beer with his lunch. The artist knows exactly how he’ll want to calibrate his energy levels to survive each part of this daylong family bore-fest.” –BigTed

“Kitty Cop is a series so formulaic and trite that an eight year-old can write the next installment in a week with no editing. The ostensible author of the previous books is incredibly excited about this realization. Somehow the fact that the walls keep changing colors in Vidpa House is the least incredible thing about this whole story line.” –But What Do I Know?

Today’s Hi and Lois is squarely in line with the established characters, too: Hi can’t experience joy at all, Lois can if she takes amphetamines.” –matt+w

“Started out with ‘old people so blind,’ made a hard right into ‘old people so cheap.’ That’s a real M. Night Shyamalan they pulled there.” –Old School Allie Cat

“Remember last week when Shauna said Ashlee used to be a petty criminal and con artist from the wrong side of the tracks? Well, now Ashlee used to be a trendy, popular alpha bitch who ruled her school’s cliques with an iron fist. Do keep up.” –jroggs


“It’s one thing to make the punchline a pun. It’s another to expect us to believe that Shoe would shake off his ennui and misanthropy (misaviany?) enough to bother to go see the new pet of the woman who works at the diner he frequents until the bar opens.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I’ll continue to think of these two as No Neck and Way Too Much Neck.” –Joe Blevins

“I think L’il Sparky’s complete lack of hooves might hold him back as a racehorse as well. He just has those flabby mushroom-like pods at the end of his legs, right? All the traction of a sandbag.” –Twinkles+the+Elf

“Ahahahaha! It’s funny because Mother Goose is so poor that she has to sell her blood, but also so ill that she can’t find a buyer!” –Ettorre

“Miss Buxley is shirking her own work to do whatever this is, so maybe she and Beetle are meant for each other.” –nescio

“I like the look on Killer’s face. Halfway through digging Beetle’s grave, he’s the only one that seems to be registering the gravity of the situation.” –pugfuggly

“You know what would be ‘nice‘? If I didn’t have to sit here clutching my nose to keep my cadaverous flesh from completely sloughing of my head!” –ArtOfWargames, on Twitter

“Good God! Grief has turned Judge Parker into Grandpa Munster.” –Everything Is Better With Monkeys

“It’s nice to see these legacy soap comics get back to their roots. Rex Morgan, M.D. has a young doctor torn between two lovers, Judge Parker tackles the legal ramifications of a using a child’s work, and Mary Worth gets to help this old man through a mental crisis. All is right with the world.” –Flipper

“Cool! Drew will be able to wear a lot more watches now!” –made of wince

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Beetle Bailey, 6/25/21

Say, have you ever spotted a uniformed member of military out in public and been tempted to go up and thank them for their service? Well, Beetle Bailey, America’s only widely syndicated military-themed comic strip, would urge you to think twice: it turns out they might be a real lazy piece of shit. You just don’t know! Why take that chance?

Family Circus, 6/25/21

Honestly, why is the second-generation leadership of Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC disrespecting the troops, when they could be using their legacy comic strip for good, by depicting one of their number as a child eagerly grabbing for a pair of swim trunks as their pants fall down to their ankles in a panel destined to be hung on refrigerators by smiling grandmas everywhere?

Mary Worth, 6/25/21

Me yesterday: “Is [Drew] going to be pulled in two, literally, as a metaphor? Let’s hope! Let’s hope it gets weird as hell!”

Me today:

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Mary Worth, 6/24/21

Look, folks, some of you are getting a little riled up and need to have your expectations set properly, OK? First of all, there’s never going to be a Drew-Shauna-Ashlee threeway. It’s not going to happen. It’s Mary Worth! There isn’t even going to be a Drew-Shauna-Ashlee threeway in this psychedelic Drew dream sequence. I mean look at everyone’s facial expression in panel one. Does it look like sex is going to be had? It does not! If we’re lucky, though, this dream sequence is going to get hilariously metaphorical very quickly. Remember the boxing Wilburbabies? Of course you do. That’s the energy we deserve out of Drew’s dream. Is he going to be pulled in two, literally, as a metaphor? Let’s hope! Let’s hope it gets weird as hell!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/24/21

Welp, it looks like it’s the beginning of Sarah Morgan Is A Genius II: The Geniusing. And despite the fact that we could’ve had a juicy plagiarism storyline, everything’s going to be on the up and up, thanks to Buck acting as an intermediary. Remember before, when Sarah got acclaim and material rewards thanks to her patroness, an actual mob boss? Well, this time around it’ll be thanks to Buck, and scientists have yet to come up with a number that can capture how much of a downgrade that is.

Judge Parker, 6/24/21

If you want a vision of the future of Judge Parker, imagine a pissy human face yelling at its wife — forever.