Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 4/23/21

When I wrote about the many different strategies comic strip artists were taking to address (or not) the coronavirus pandemic, one I definitely didn’t have on my bingo card was “ignore it while it was happening, and then, as it seemed to be on its way out, pretend that it had been happening all along, and reminiscing about what it was like for your characters.” Anyway, today we, and Funky’s hapless AA meeting, learn that Montoni’s was apparently shut down (though presumably not for long, as pizza is a notoriously delivery-friendly food format?) and that Montoni’s also has a liquor license, and that Funky was full of dark thoughts of boozing it up with his imagined version of Ohio Governor Mike DeWine, but then remembered “Oh, wait, drinking is bad for me” and didn’t. Anyway, good for him for staying sober in trying circumstances, but too bad for these poor alcoholics that they have to listen to Funky’s loopiest, most rambling monologue since he spent a day muttering to nobody about how Elvis died on the toilet.

Gil Thorp, 4/23/21

Ahh, it’s that beautiful moment in any Gil Thorp storyline, the one where we finally begin to see how all the different characters we’ve been frenetically switching back and forth from kind of relate to each other. Turns out Zane Clark hasn’t been around much because his parents lost their jobs and his family went into a financial spiral and he has a hard time getting to school events because he works nights to help out, and his girlfriend Katy is the daughter of Abel Brito, who found out that tax-funded community services exist a couple weeks ago and is still absolutely furious about it, apparently. How is he going to deal with his daughter dating a [dramatic music sting] poor person? Very excited to find out!

Post Content

The Lockhorns, 4/22/21

As usual, I admire the craftsmanship that went into today’s Lockhorns. It would be easy to have the panel just consist of Loretta staring dead-eyed at the woman behind the counter, unsure if she’s making a little joke or issuing a serious warning or what, damn it, she just wants to sign up for a class and people seem to like Zumba, maybe some exercise would help pull her out of her decades-deep depression, why does everything have to be a comedy routine around here. But to have that going on in the foreground, while in the background, Leroy is thinking “Oh, ladies in leotards jumping rope and lifting weights in front of a huge window? Don’t mind if I do”? That’s how you know a real professional put this one together.

Dennis the Menace, 4/22/21

This is absolutely not Joey or Dennis’s house, right? Like, they probably don’t even know whose house this is?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/22/21

Weezy’s face in the final panel shows that she knows Snuffy is just joking. He may be generally averse to physical labor, but he never passes up an opportunity to dig a shallow grave for members of the hated Barlow clan who’ve died at Smif hands in the latest backwoods ambush! Plus he absolutely does not give a shit about the environment.

Post Content

Slylock Fox, 4/21/21

Man, usually even the non-Slylockverse Slylock Fox True or False strips involve, like, animal facts of some kind. Yes, it’s technically true that people are also animals, and the weird, gross interiors of our ears are among the most distressing evicence of the repulsive biological foundations of our existence. Fun fact, I almost started googling about the microscopic creatures that I assume live in our ear canals for this post but then realized there might be pictures and wisely pulled myself back from the brink. But anyway, my point here is that this is a fairly odd subject for a Slylock strip, and has me wondering if it was made possible by a generous donation from Big Otorhinolaryngology, or maybe from Big Lollipop, since I suspect that retail sales of lollipops are quite low and now most people only get them when they’re handed out as a reward for seeking basic medical care.

Dick Tracy, 4/21/21

Oh, wow, I guess the members of the Apparatus in Dick Tracy are going to stop trying to kill Dick Tracy, which seems like it would take a lot of the oomph out of this strip, not gonna lie. I guess this is the sort of cautious movie you’d expect from a crime lord who puts on a ski mask to talk on the phone to one of his own allies. Fortunately for fans of ultraviolence everywhere, Dick Tracy is definitely not going to reciprocate and stop trying to kill the members of the Apparatus.

Gasoline Alley, 4/21/21

[my entire afternoon is derailed as I drop everything to write a multipage screed to Tribute Content Agency, LLC about induced demand]