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Comment of the Week

Is Dr. Jeff's 'again’ meant to indicate that he's already (willfully?) forgotten what Mary's told him, or does it display his belief that Wilbur's life is a karmic circle of disasters that are superficially varied but basically the same thing happening to him over and over?

—Pozzo
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Maybe the weight-lifting lady should give the jump-rope lady some more space, just a suggestion

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The Lockhorns, 4/22/21

As usual, I admire the craftsmanship that went into today’s Lockhorns. It would be easy to have the panel just consist of Loretta staring dead-eyed at the woman behind the counter, unsure if she’s making a little joke or issuing a serious warning or what, damn it, she just wants to sign up for a class and people seem to like Zumba, maybe some exercise would help pull her out of her decades-deep depression, why does everything have to be a comedy routine around here. But to have that going on in the foreground, while in the background, Leroy is thinking “Oh, ladies in leotards jumping rope and lifting weights in front of a huge window? Don’t mind if I do”? That’s how you know a real professional put this one together.

Dennis the Menace, 4/22/21

This is absolutely not Joey or Dennis’s house, right? Like, they probably don’t even know whose house this is?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/22/21

Weezy’s face in the final panel shows that she knows Snuffy is just joking. He may be generally averse to physical labor, but he never passes up an opportunity to dig a shallow grave for members of the hated Barlow clan who’ve died at Smif hands in the latest backwoods ambush! Plus he absolutely does not give a shit about the environment.

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The phrase “ear mite” jumped into my mind. Is this a real thing that lives in human ears? Don’t know and don’t care to find out

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Slylock Fox, 4/21/21

Man, usually even the non-Slylockverse Slylock Fox True or False strips involve, like, animal facts of some kind. Yes, it’s technically true that people are also animals, and the weird, gross interiors of our ears are among the most distressing evicence of the repulsive biological foundations of our existence. Fun fact, I almost started googling about the microscopic creatures that I assume live in our ear canals for this post but then realized there might be pictures and wisely pulled myself back from the brink. But anyway, my point here is that this is a fairly odd subject for a Slylock strip, and has me wondering if it was made possible by a generous donation from Big Otorhinolaryngology, or maybe from Big Lollipop, since I suspect that retail sales of lollipops are quite low and now most people only get them when they’re handed out as a reward for seeking basic medical care.

Dick Tracy, 4/21/21

Oh, wow, I guess the members of the Apparatus in Dick Tracy are going to stop trying to kill Dick Tracy, which seems like it would take a lot of the oomph out of this strip, not gonna lie. I guess this is the sort of cautious movie you’d expect from a crime lord who puts on a ski mask to talk on the phone to one of his own allies. Fortunately for fans of ultraviolence everywhere, Dick Tracy is definitely not going to reciprocate and stop trying to kill the members of the Apparatus.

Gasoline Alley, 4/21/21

[my entire afternoon is derailed as I drop everything to write a multipage screed to Tribute Content Agency, LLC about induced demand]

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4/20 TRY TO EXPLAIN IT

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Judge Parker, 4/20/21

Hey, kids, it’s 4/20, and you know what that means: time to get high (IF THAT’S LEGAL IN YOUR JURISDICTION, CAN’T EMPHASIZE THAT ENOUGH, DEFINITELY NOT ENCOURAGING ANYONE TO DO CRIMES HERE) and think to yourself “Whoa, dude, what’s going on in, like, Judge Parker?” Last we checked in, you might recall that Randy was having a meltdown because his daughter reported to him that she had spotted her mother April (estranged from Randy, ex-assassin on the lam) lurking outside. But now April is in the house, insisting that that other, lurking April isn’t the real April, but their daughter insists that this April, the one in the house yelling at Randy, isn’t her real mother! Who is right? Will we see some red-hot real-April-on-fake-April fisticuffs? If you’re already high and are thinking “Whoa, dude, I can’t follow any of this,” let me reassure you that I’m not high at all and I can’t really follow it either.

Funky Winkerbean, 4/20/21

Speaking of stoners, probably we’re not supposed to think of this kid at Funky’s pandemic-swollen AA meeting as a stoner, I guess? Just dumb, like all of today’s dumb kids who take video games seriously. I honestly kind of love that he’s specifically put here to point out the fact that the first name “Funky” would in fact sound insane to a normal person, but as soon as he was assigned the “knows about video games” attribute he immediately had to be rendered as a slack-jawed dope, those are just the rules of the Funkyverse, maybe go research the differences between Golden and Silver Age Flash comics if you want to better yourself, buddy.

Mary Worth, 4/20/21

Oh hell yes, Dr. Drew is an Instagram influencer and I am extremely here for it! I certainly hope that his handle is “tha__naturedoc” and all the pictures he posts tomorrow consist of a few California wildflowers that you can see here and there if you look to the side of his prominent shirtless torso.