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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/19/20

Fellas! Has this ever happened to you? You’re talking to your lady, who circumstances have forced you to live apart from, and it seems like the convo might be headed to a little dirty talk, but no, all of the sudden it’s all “oh my god so many people died today” and “I’m never going to be able to forget about this time, it’s so awful” and blah blah blah. You know who would never trouble you with tales of pandemic carnage and his emotional reaction to it? Rex. That guy absolutely could not give less of a shit about whether his patients live or die. I mean, he wouldn’t do phone sex with you either, but at least there’d be no downer stuff.

The Phantom, 11/19/20

The action in our new Phantom storyline begins with our hero just punching the crap out of a Rhodian border guard mostly unprovoked, and you know who’s surprised but, in the balance, pleased? Karl Marx.

Family Circus, 11/19/20

“Also our house is enveloped in the Bone-Chilling Depthless Ultradark. I hate it!”

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Crock, 11/18/20

The thing about Crock is that it’s years-old reruns of strips whose whole vibe was already years out of date when they were new, which I know doesn’t sound like the description of something that would be interesting to read every day, but it definitely delivers a fascinating, tangled mess of weird cultural attitudes! Like, today’s strip plays on that well-known belief that “librarians don’t have sex.” I mean, how could they have sex? They’re nerds! But the punchline here undermines this widely held stereotype: the bookmobile guy does, in fact, fuck. His paramour is named “Bertha,” though, so we can be reassured in the implication that she’s at least unattractive, and some small part of the world still makes sense.

Mutts, 11/18/20

This strip may not look like much, but it’s actually the end product of a long legal process in which the large and highly skilled team of lawyers on the payroll of Paws, Inc., ensured Garfieldian dominance over feline Monday-disliking for years to come.

Mary Worth, 11/18/20

tiny withered arm not connected to anything tiny withered arm not connected to anything tiny withered arm not connected to anything

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Mary Worth, 11/17/20

I love that this picture is the one that Tommy is staring at fiercely to reassure himself that he’s still a good person who’s made a lot of progress despite his current bumpy romantic situation. “Damn it, would a loser have a ripped bod like that? No! I good enough and I’m beefy enough to earn respect, and I’m going to step up my volunteer work with that weightlifting charity to make sure the kids of tomorrow have a head start when it comes to making gains!”

Shoe, 11/17/20

“And I don’t have any? Because I’m a bird? And have wings instead? Is that the joke? God damn it, one of these days the joke here is going to be about how we’re birds. It has to happen eventually!”