Post Content

Dick Tracy, 9/17/20

Hmm, I foolishly assumed that the professor that Annie and Honeymoon where going to talk to for their legitimate newspaper article about vampires would be in, like, the Comp Lit department, with a research speciality in Balkan folklore. But no, I guess he’s a biologist, and I sort of feel like someone should point out to him that his vampire apparatus, while innovative, seems more like a mechanical engineering project. He might give you a long transhumanist speech about how man and machine are becoming more and more aligned all the time, or he might just say “Look, if you have a better way to get a lot of blood out of a young woman very quickly — for, uh, research purposes — I’d like to hear about it.”

Slylock Fox, 9/17/20

In the first panel, the castaway is planning to eat the bird. In the second, he’s planning on making love to it.

Post Content

Mark Trail, 9/16/20

“When other people’s beloved pets die, I feel nothing … but now that my beloved pet might die, I’m feeling distress! Is it possible that other people have interior emotional states, like I do?” Yes, folks, Mark is finally learning how to experience empathy, but Cherry still has a long way to go. “But Mark, the awards ceremony! Winning this award will increase your status, and increase your status by an incrementally greater amount if you accept the award in person! Surely you won’t turn down this opportunity due to sadness? Remember, because you’re my spouse, your increased status increases my status as well!”

Beetle Bailey, 9/16/20

We’ve all heard the phrase “don’t top from the bottom,” but Beetle is going for a much higher degree of difficulty and is trying to bottom from the top.

Six Chix, 9/16/20

Good news! We’ve finally gotten a definitive answer as to whether or not Goofy is a dog! Bad news: he’s dead.

Post Content

Crock, 9/15/20

I get that Captain Preppie’s whole thing is that he’s vanity personified, but today’s strip takes that bit to a baroque extreme. I’m not entirely sure what the joke is here: Does Preppie so identify with the high status he associates with luxury brands that he wants to become a Rolls Royce, a man-machine that combines his biological perfection with the pinnacle of engineering? Or does he believe that getting run over by a $300,000 car is the only fitting way for someone of his quality to die?

Dick Tracy, 9/15/20

Jesus, Dick, there’s a lot more to vampirism than wounding someone in the neck so they bleed out! You also have to drink their blood in order to become immortal and feed the empty place inside you where your soul used to be. That newspaper piece on vampires can’t come soon enough.