Post Content

Hi and Lois, 5/12/24

The “joke” of today’s strip is that the Flagston children have announced that their mother now has to share Mother’s Day with their father, and that their father will not be receiving any recognition on Father’s Day next month at all. And the adults are just sitting there smiling about it! Have some self-respect and stand up for yourselves, you two! I know you’re outnumbered by the children, but one of them is a literal baby, I think you still have the advantage.

Beetle Bailey, 5/12/24

Beetle Bailey fans, of course, delight at strips where Sarge uses kinetic violence to reduce Beetle to an unrecognizable and mangled pile of flesh, but as today’s strip demonstrates, they would be horrified at the thought of Sarge poisoning Beetle and need to be reassured that he is being sprayed with only “toxin-free” chemicals. In this sense, and in this sense only, Beetle Bailey is very much like modern combat, as governed by the 1925 Geneva Protocol for the Prohibition of the Use in War of Asphyxiating, Poisonous or other Gases, and of Bacteriological Methods of Warfare.

Post Content

Blondie, 5/11/24

Look, obviously saying anything against mothers and motherhood is a swift ticket to getting abruptly cancelled — and rightfully so! [laughs nervously] — but I refuse to believe “mom’s week” is a thing, even if you use the not-actual-Mothers-Day part of the week to make a nice gesture to the non-relative woman whose house you spend all your time in for ill-defined and probably not great reasons. It’s long been clear that a substantial portion of Blondie gags are generated by a big calendar with all the holidays on it, and today’s strip shows how reliant the writers are on this crutch, with the daily strip crew refusing to cede Mothers Day to the Sunday writers room.

Gasoline Alley, 5/11/24

“I looked, and there were four wheels beside the cherubim, one beside each cherub, and the appearance of the wheels was like gleaming beryl. And as for their appearance, the four looked alike, something like a wheel within a wheel. When they moved, they moved in any of the four directions without veering as they moved, but in whatever direction the front wheel faced, the others followed without veering as they moved. Their entire bodies — backs, hands, and wings — were covered with eyes all around, as were the wheels of the four of them. As for the wheels, they were called in my hearing the wheelwork. Each one had four faces: the first face was that of the cherub, the second face was that of a human, the third that of a lion, and the fourth that of an eagle. The cherubim rose up. These were the living creatures that I saw by the River Chebar.” That’s the testimony of the prophet Ezekiel, and I hope for these things for Walt! I hope he’s borne up to heaven on wings covered by eyeballs by beings who seem like living creatures but are like no living creature you’ve ever seen! If he cannot be blessed by a natural death, after more than a century of toiling in the funny pages for our amusement, let him have this, instead!

Dennis the Menace, 5/11/24

I genuinely find it funny that Alice seems confused by the perpetrator of this prank. “It’s our asshole neighbor, honey. The one who’s done this before, repeatedly? It’s two in the afternoon, are you drunk already?”

Post Content

There were many comments this week, but to me, this one was tops:

“Ha, look at that sad look on Lois’ face, she knows that Ditto will indeed be following in Beetle’s footsteps: a few years of sloth and cookies, followed by an unimpressive stint in high school, before being shipped off to the US Army’s Idiot Division to be a guinea pig for new MRE additives.” –pugfuggly

These runners up were so close, though! So close!

“The U.S. Army has made Sarge such an efficient killing machine that he cannot return to civilian life anymore and he is completely alienated from the citizens he’s sworn to protect. That’s a grim truth, but on the other hand I am not going to Beetle Bailey for laughter.” –Ettore Costa, on BlueSky

“Most people wouldn’t post a picture of themselves dressed as a clown on their dating profile, but most people aren’t on Jestr™, the only dating app catering exclusively to clown fetishists.” –Schroduck

“It’s a wonderful vintage piece, and by vintage I mean it’s got lead and cadmium in it, which actually answers a lot of questions.” –ValdVin

“Mr. Barnes here is talented enough for the big leagues, and yet somehow I’ve convinced him he should visit Milford University — as if there weren’t five better colleges in this state alone. I’ll take my kickback now!” –BigTed

“You know what else Hi likes about working from home? Not shaving. And also, making come-hither eyes at his wife and leading her on with a question phrased as though it’s going to lead somewhere romantic, and then walking away instead. Hi loves doing that shit.” –Chance

“Whether working in the office or from home, Hi precisely calculates the distance of separation from his family.” –nescio

“Just like an owl, Wilbur is incapable of looking off to the side and is often mistaken as being smarter than he actually is because he wears glasses and the owl was originally thought to be wise due to being a favored bird of Athena. But unlike an owl, he cannot turn his head to see just what is going on behind him. Now I’m not implying that Wilbur is dumber than an owl but anyone can see what’s going on even without being able to turn their head 270 degrees.” –Needless Exposition

“The 1950’s era Jack Benny Show comes on at 5am where I live and two weeks ago the guest star was Lawrence Welk and they did a ‘anna one anna two’ joke. If you want to keep updated on cultural references in this strip you might want to start getting up a little early, just saying.” –Hibbleton

“Declan appears to be rapidly aging, his life force sucked away into the maelstrom that is Neddy’s life. He prays for a quick end and escape, which in Judge Parker time might be eight years or one splash panel saying ‘Seasons change’ and a follow-on panel of Neddy complaining how hard the frozen dirt is, and asking just how shallow can a shallow grave be?” –Voshkod

“Outraged that Gasoline Alley would explain what Twitter is, and what its name was changed to, without a forced joke involving folksy wordplay.” –Jim Into Mystery, on Bluesky

“I didn’t understand why (who I assume is) Tina always looked so miserable for no particular reason, but now it is all clear. Not only does she have waitressin’ shifts in the evening, during the day she’s tasked with manning the city’s walls, fending off besiegers and dodging trebuchet projectiles, and all they gave her for equipment was a purse full of rocks and an unfashionable jacket.” –jroggs

“This is ‘Sarah reaches puberty.’ June attempts to explain the phenomenon to Rex, but he waves her off. ‘No, no, that’s woman’s stuff! Also medical.’” –Myrtle

“It’s a text from Dawn. Who would care?” –Where’s Rocky?

“I am extremely concerned about Wilbur’s clothing changes between Wednesday and Thursday. We went from fully clothed and depressed to in a bathrobe and underwear and SO MUCH LEG HAIR in just one day … I fear what we will see of Wilbur by Saturday, for us, our society…” –LTJpezcore1

“GAAK!! Wilbur is holding his sammich in one hand, so that must mean he’s using the other hand to embrace his solitude! (Is THAT what they’re calling it these days?)” –Charterstoned

“Wilbur as the weird shut-in of the condominium would be a nice turn for him. He’d go from main character to stuff of urban legend, with only glimpses of him picking up his sandwich orders from his door and occasionally (but not often enough) dumping his trash at odd hours to avoid the rest of the world.” –Philip

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!