Post Content

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/7/19

I regret to inform you that Barney Google is not only interacting with Beetle Bailey but is in fact crossing over with the entire family of trusted King Features comic brands. His whimsical journey got real dark today, as he and Spark Plug encounter the secret holding room — a drab holding cell, without any art or decoration of any kind — where all of the syndicate’s babies are warehoused in between bouts of saying or thought-ballooning the darndest things. Yes, PJ, Trixie, Marvin, the (I think) baby from Baby Blues and, uh, some other baby are left alone for days at a time, presumably stewing in their own dirty diapers. Speaking of which, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t bring horses inside, for, uh, diaper-related reasons? Jesus, years of making fun of Marvin have really damaged my brain.

Marvin, 6/7/19

Speaking of which, here’s today’s Marvin, which is about pissing yourself! But, more importantly, it’s also about the fact that in the Marvinverse, the Army’s officer corps has become a sort of hereditary aristocracy, with ranks handed down from father to son and a military ethos pervading every aspect of members’ lives, right down to bathroom stuff.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 6/6/19

Estelle has yet another Silverdater prospect on the line and she says that the goal is not to carry on a long-running virtual relationship and then wire him ten grand, but to rather meet him in person and have a regular romance where no large sums of money are exchanged, but then also … they’re getting to the point where they’re singing on the phone? I feel like once you get to the singing on the phone part you should probably just meet in person. But you do you, Estelle! Just don’t send him any money! That’s the bad part of “doing you,” the way you do it!

Gil Thorp, 6/6/19

Ah, yes, just as in the world of George Orwell’s Animal Farm, our “Too Cool For School” clique’s move towards liberation merely created another hierarchy, with themselves at the top. Now they’ll be forced to esteem all passions absolutely equally, even though some of them are objectively much dorkier than other, just like in the world of Kurt Vonnegut’s “Harrison Bergeron.” I guess the real lesson here is that no matter what these girls do, there will be some piece of canonical mid-20th century allegorical literature there to let them know they’re doing it wrong!

Six Chix, 6/6/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because if you drink too much wine, you’ll start to hate yourself! This has been a public service announcement from Six Chix.

Post Content

Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/5/19

Just about every animator and cartoonist eventually dabbles with a “Duck Amuck“-style plot where the characters grapple with the nature of their own reality. Today’s Mother Goose and Grimm is a particularly disturbing take, though, with Mother Goose going bug-eyed with panic as she realizes she’s dissolved her beloved dog’s body into nothingness. Only his eyes remain, hanging in mid-air, leading to an important question: are eyes the soul of a cartoon character? Makes you think!

Shoe, 6/5/19

I’m extremely put off by the way Shoe is making direct eye contact with the reader in the second panel, as if to say, “Get it? I, Shoe, the title character in this comic strip, walk around naked at all times, and maybe you’ve been reading this strip for years and just assumed it’s a weird visual quirk that everyone involved in the strip’s production has long forgotten about, but: nope! I’m naked, other characters in this strip wear clothes, I’m violating every in-universe social norm, but they can’t stop me. Nobody can stop me. It’s now official Shoe canon that I’m a sick pervert bird-man who likes making everyone feel uncomfortable, because that’s how I get off.”

Gasoline Alley, 6/5/19

Please sign my change dot org petition to require that every Gasoline Alley strip end with one of the characters saying “Huh?”, thus assuring the reader that they aren’t meant to really understand anything that anybody is saying.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/5/19

WELP HERE IT IS

BARNEY GOOGLE HAS STUMBLED INTO CAMP SWAMPY

IT’S THE COMICS CROSSOVER EVENT THAT NOBODY WANTED OR ASKED FOR BUT WE’RE GONNA GET IT ANYWAY, BY GOD