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Shoe, 4/16/19

Me being me, there’s an awful lot I could complain about here: this strip is clearly set at Roz’s counter, whereas Shoe’s failed romantic advances should by rights happen at Treetops’ fern bar, plus I’m not really sure “tank” works as a synonym for “pool,” particularly one that has variable depth. But I’m totally on board for the “bigger picture” here, which is that journalism in the bird-world of Shoe, as in ours, is in economic freefall, and Shoe has decided to jump ship to take on an advocacy role at some billionaire-funded advocacy organization, using his writing skills to promote [thinks for 30 seconds about what a bird think tank might put out position papers on but then deciding it isn’t really worth it] like, lower taxes on gizzard stones or whatever.

Mary Worth, 4/6/19

“We barely even talk to each other! It’s great!”

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Six Chix, 4/15/19

Happy Tax Day, everybody! Six Chix is here to remind you that even beloved cultural icons like the Easter Bunny — seen here with a stack of W-9s, 1099s, and 1040 Schedule Cs, denoting his freelancer status — currently live in the precarious world of the gig economy, where traditional labor protections cannot reach.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/15/19

I was going to do a bit about Hootin’ Holler’s place in a sad, post-apocalyptic universe, based on the local post office’s affiliation with the “Newnited States,” but then I remembered that I already did that back in 2010, so instead I’ll just point out that the IRS considers income from barter and criminal activity to be taxable, so maybe Snuffy shouldn’t be quite so relaxed.

Crock, 4/15/19

Speaking of repeated jokes, I was about to say that I was willing to put aside my feud with Crock and admit that I found this strip unironically funny, but then I remembered I did the same thing when it ran last May. I guess I’ve just validated Crock’s decision to run the few funny strips in its vast archives every eleven months or so, because people will enjoy them and probably won’t remember that they’re repeats unless they really dedicate some thought to it.

Gil Thorp, 4/15/19

Oh, I guess this Gil Thorp plotline is about how student-athletes should stay well-rounded and have outside hobbies, like knitting or blogging. Girl student-athletes, I should specify; obviously boy student-athletes need to dedicate all their energy into Mudlark athletics in a desperate attempt to be in the tiny percentage of high school students recruited into elite collegiate athletic programs, so they can dedicate all their energy during college into sports so they can be in the tiny percentage of elite college athletes who end up in the pros.

Mary Worth, 4/15/19

I like Toby’s big smile as she announces to Mary that “poems can be cribbed off the Internet,” like she’s figured out how to beat Big MFA at their own game. She can’t tell Ian, of course, as it would make him realize his whole career path of sharing the wonders of literature with undergrads is a sham, but she’s gotta tell someone.

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Marvin, 4/14/19

I am, I think it goes without saying, old and out of touch, so I guess one of the things I appreciate about newspaper comic strips is that they’re even older and more out of touch than I am, especially when it comes to depicting the youths and their various opinions and habits. Marvin is pretty lucky in that regard because it’s about actual babies, and, like, what are babies into? Pissing themselves? Marvin has you covered, my friend. And yet I take no pleasure in reporting that, if there were something other than not being potty trained that would probably excite the interest of the toddler set, it would almost certainly be creating and consuming monotonous but mesmerizing online content, like a YouTube channel of someone destroying toys with a hammer. Marvin truly has its finger on the pulse, is what I’m saying.

Dustin, 4/14/19

You know what else the kids like? Enjoying recreational marijuana use! Especially on April 15. Yes, 4/15, the special marijuana date we all know and love.