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Funky Winkerbean, 10/9/19

“Anyway, now that he’s dead, I feel more free to tell everyone what an asshole he was. That’s how this works, right?”

Family Circus, 10/9/19

MOMMY [with one leg out the window, under her breath with her eyes closed in frustration]: damn it damn it damn it damn it

Pluggers, 10/9/19

WOW SOUNDS LIKE PLUGGERS CAN’T DEAL WITH THE OVERWHELMING SET OF CONSUMER CHOICES GENERATED BY CONTEMPORARY CAPITALISM

WHY DON’T YOU GO BACK TO SOVIET RUSSIA AND WAIT IN LINE FOR SOME UNFLAVORED ICE MILK, YOU WEIRD OLD DOG-MAN

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/8/19

Hello, major media brands! Are you looking to increase awareness of your properties among hard-to-reach demographics, like shut-ins and the elderly? Consider in-story messaging within the King Features line of trusted continuity strips! We’ve already laid the groundwork by having Wilbur Weston, the comics’ most unappealing character, inform readers that streaming media services exist. And for a surprisingly reasonably partnership fee, mildly beloved Rex Morgan, M.D., character Mindy could actually say the name of your show while she remains immobile in bed for the next several weeks, rather than just hinting at its plot! Be sure to act now to accommodate comics publishing’s 12-18 week lead time so that your property gets name-checked just in time for it to “drop” (as the kids say) on streaming!

Mutts, 9/8/19

I know I almost never talk about Mutts on this site, but when the adorable lisping animals suddenly start contemplating the total genocide of the human race? As a human who doesn’t want to be genocided, that’s when I sit up and take notice.

The Phantom, 9/8/19

The Ghost-Who-Walks has kept the Deep Woods under his protection for hundreds of years! But can he defend against the newest, most deadly threat yet: gentrification?

Six Chix, 9/8/19

The world is burning, life is madness … should Six Chix get into piss stuff? Sure. Why not. Lol nothing matters!

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Funky Winkerbean, 10/7/19

I was going to poke fun here but, you know what? This strip? With a group of somber people at a funeral? And then one of them tries their hand at comic book-themed joke? And they completely botch it, because the line “with great power comes great responsibility” puts the responsibility on the person with the power, so I think Cindy wants to be saying that Bull was so popular that everyone’s coming back for his funeral, but in fact she’s saying that she’s so popular that it was her responsibility to grace this funeral with her beloved presence? And then there’s a smash cut to the obituary? It’s perfect. It’s a perfect Funky Winkerbean. How could you improve on it? You can’t. There’s literally no way.

Mary Worth, 10/7/19

So on last week’s date Wilbur did just want to watch Netflix and relax, and what he wanted to watch was a documentary about boxing and Estelle didn’t care for it but also didn’t speak up and they watched it and … now she doesn’t know about Wilbur? I’m not sure I really buy into this logic, but I also think dating Wilbur is a terrible idea and nobody should do it, so I’m not going to complain. Go to it, Estelle! Let the dumping commence!