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Sam and Silo, 1/5/19

I admit to being kind of charmed by my own inability to get a firm handle on what the deal is with Sam and Silo, exactly. Like, today starts off seeming like another in a continuing series of “Sam should see a mental health professional” strips, but then takes a turn in the final panel to horror! Or maybe just a turn from “Sam should see a mental health professional about his depression” to “Sam should see a mental health professional about his psychotic break.”

Funky Winkerbean, 1/5/19

You can forgive a long-running strip like Funky Winkerbean for reveling in its own lore a bit, I suppose, but things get tricky when you contrast its wacky, light-hearted past with its curren omnipresent cloud of grimness. For instance, I’m sure at some point it was hilarious that school budgetary cuts required the Scapegoats to tote injured players off the field using equipment that no medical professional would endorse. But the fact that one of the people reminiscing fondly about this episode has suffered permanent cognitive damage due to his high school football career casts a little bit of a pall over the whole thing.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/5/19

You guys, Sarah Morgan is just now hearing about this business where the climate can vary across differing geographies and she is not OK with it.

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Hello all! It’s the first Friday of 2019, which means it’s the first Friday of the month, which means the Internet Read Aloud, the live comedy show I host, is happening in Los Angeles, tonight! We have a stellar lineup, so you really should come!

Here’s the Facebook event! If your New Year’s resolution is to leave the house more, now’s your chance! It’s FREE!

And here’s your comment of the first, admittedly truncated, week of the year!

“Les Soldats: ‘SURPRISE!’ [Background music: La Marseillaise] Le Crock: ‘What? You guys. What is this?’ Les Soldats: ‘We planned a coup for you! You’re the President of the Sixth Republic now!’ [Les Soldats begin to sing: Do you hear, in the countryside, the roar of those ferocious soldiers? They’re coming right into your arms to cut the throats of your sons, your women!] Le Crock: ‘You guys are the best. Round up the usual suspects — communists and foreigners. The executions start in ten minutes.’” –Voshkod

And your hilarious runners up!

“For a minute, I thought Ian was relaxing by reading LAM! magazine, the go-to periodical for the aspiring convict-on-the-run. But then I realized that that would be a potentially interesting plot development, and therefore against the law in Santa Royale.” –Dmsilev

“I would have thought that Dick Tracy and not Gil Thorp would be the last man standing in the War on Christmas. Maybe they are trying to capture a different kind of readers. Gil Thorp offers underage, masculine beefcake for the traditional conservative reader, while Dick Tracy believes that now that Tumblr has a new censorship, it could become the most prominent platform for grotesque erotica.” –Ettore

“The eyelines in that Christmas strip are fascinating. We see Kelly staring at Kaz with mistletoe, begging for at least a little physical intimacy. But Kaz’s eyes are locked on Gil. Even when they’re not working out, he can’t keep his eyes off his spotting partner.” –Jenna

“I sincerely hope that everybody in this strip is a cop, and the story ends in a massive reciprocal arrest-o-thon.” –Uncle Lumpy

“With your calm demeanor and general lack of affect, you’d make an excellent hostage.” –Peanut Gallery

“If a student is late with homework and flunking tests, why would the teacher go to see Gil about it instead of talking with the student? Gil can’t be bothered even to do his own job, much less someone else’s!” –seismic-2

“Let’s all just be thankful that it’s the coffee request that confused the mayor, and not the also somewhat ambiguous ‘dumps yo trash.’” –pugfuggly

“For another, Otto’s like, fifteen pounds max, and you want to put him in a position where everyone will be trying to tackle him? Don’t you care about your dog at all, Sarge?” –JJ48

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Ghosts Are Assholes: James Kirst is a new author with a new novel entitled Ghosts Are Assholes, a different kind of ghost story, that he thinks you’ll love so why not read a free preview to see if you agree. Learn more about it on his site and while you’re there, why not check out one of his short stories too?

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Gasoline Alley, 1/4/19

One of the slow-burn running gags (“gags”) in Gasoline Alley is that Rufus, who I would describe as a “comically moronic rustic,” is in love with Mayor Melba, who is also his boss. It’s funny because he’s a comical moron, and she’s the mayor! Except today we learn that Melba herself is not terribly bright, or at least has some fairly specific deficits when it comes to language processing. So she and Rufus can be together after all! Hooray! This is great news for all those Melbus shippers Ruba stans people out there who are rooting for Rufus and Melba to get together, a constituency I have faith actually exists,

Mary Worth, 1/4/19

“But I am worried, Mary! Worried that I’m going to have to develop feelings for him! Is this what it’s come to? That I can’t just be married to Ian, but I have to like him, too?”

Beetle Bailey, 1/4/19

Who could forget the classic 1997 film Air Bud, with its hilarious and memorable catchphrase, “Ain’t no rules says a dog can’t play basketball!” Well, what if, in the subsequent scenes, the characters discovered that while technically there isn’t a specific rule preventing dogs from playing basketball or other organized sports, there are a whole host of rules — about minimum ages, regulation uniforms, ball-handling techniques, and the like — that dogs by their very nature are incapable of satisfying? Wouldn’t that be … even funnier? Probably, says Beetle Bailey!