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Panel from Slylock Fox, 10/13/24

The animal revolt that destroyed human dominance of the planet and put the newly sapient beasts in charge was no doubt commanded by a revolutionary vanguard that ultimately evolved into the dictatorial Forest Kingdom apparatus that Slylock serves. However, the new regime has, as is so often the case, laid the foundations for its own undoing, by encouraging its subjects to become literate so that they could learn about themselves and the societies that came before them. Reeky’s sister is apparently already exploring the concepts of constitutional law and the benefits of a limited government, and, sure, today the logic “Well, you lied about one thing, that eliminates all reasonable doubt and you are GUILTY” will pass muster in an owl-run courtroom, but as the political understanding of the animals advances, the arc of the universe will, eventually, bend towards justice for Reeky and all the rest.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/13/24

Most people in this strip are inexplicably Truck Tyler fanatics, so I kind of like the reminder that Yvonne, specifically, is a Mud Mountain Murphy stan, so dedicated to his signature hit “Muddy Boots” that she’s willing to be polite when he’s clearly deep in his cult era, or willing to refer to an on-stage simulated pants shitting as “stage fright.”

Mary Worth, 10/13/14

Mary, of course, loves being the advice giver and unlicensed counselor around Charterstone, loves it more than is seemly. Even so, do you think she ever gets a little exasperated by how dumb these people are? “So … job stress as a police officer took Jimmy from you before you could retire together … [long pause] … so do you think that with Ed … [even longer pause] … who you’re always mad at because he works too much … [long, exasperated pause] … at his stressful job … look, do I have to draw a diagram for you or what???”

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Mary Worth, 10/12/24

God, I hope Jimmy is with Estelle in spirit. I hope he’s been following her around for her whole dating journey, and I hope that when she got to Wilbur he recoiled in disgust. He died while on the job so I assume he still has all his cop stuff with him as a ghost, and I hope that every time Estelle and Wilbur began to have sex he reached his ghost hand for his ghost baton, only to realize that as a mere shade he could never break open the man’s bald head with it, so what’s the point. Instead he just has to sit (float?) there and watch. His spectral but furious presence would explain a lot of the bad vibes around that relationship.

Hi and Lois, 10/12/24

I love that the first panel is a bedtime story and the second is happening at least a day later, which meant that the twins have had to time to discuss this. “He’s talking about Mr. Thurston, right?” they presumably asked each other after Hi shut the door. “He’s the tortoise in this situation?” I also like the fact that leaves are beginning to pile up on Thirsty’s inert form. He’s dead, kids! He’s been dead for hours!

Hagar the Horrible, 10/12/24

Hey, guys, want to read a Hagar the Horrible where some people walk into Hagar and Helga’s house and just start fucking? Well, uh, here you go. Happy weekend, everybody!

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It’s Friday and let’s get right into it … and by “it” I mean the comment of the week!

“OK but BARNEY in that first panel. The eldritch horror of Barney. Contorted Barney. Barney. is. contorted. The eyes in his head pop and flash! Be he owl or be he man? Be he bedeviled, or bedeviler be he?” –it is an ancient mariner

And your runners up! Very funny!

“A lot of birds eat spiders — so wouldn’t a giant spider be, like, a gourmet feast to these folks? The only thing to be scared of is too many leftovers!” –BigTed

“So it looks like Phantom costumes alter, according to the era of their tenure. Can’t wait to see the one with bell bottoms and platform shoes.” –Pozzo

“‘But that all sounds so stupid now.’ Hey, that’s all right. It sounded stupid the first time, too.” –Peanut Gallery

“Slylock will investigate this, but he holds the shoe store manager as much in contempt as Smitty. Shoes are a relic of the human regime, true sons of the animal revolution go barefoot, like him!” –Ettorre

“It’s true, a hilarious premise like ‘eating a can of dog food by accident’ is simply too radical for newspaper comics. Luckily, Curtis has a found a loophole: you can still describe a funnier comic in their boring comic without actually showing it, thus circumventing the rules of powerful newsprint publishers. Kind of like how you can publish any copyrighted video on YouTube as long as there’s a little square on the bottom right of you ‘reacting’ to it. Comedy is safe again (but for how long?)!” –pugfuggly

“It was nice of the undercover officer to go to all the trouble and cost of creating an enlarged photo so the readers could see the evidence against Smitty. If Smitty put that much trouble into remembering which arm he had his fake cast on, he’d get away with more crimes.” –TheDiva

“In my headcanon, those terrifying children are wizened elves from the Feywild masquerading as kids. Their ‘doll’ and ‘AI’ are still more spirits who’ve come to plague Gertie. Seriously, look at, um, the kid on the left’s eyes. They’re like a doll’s eyes and she’s literally carrying a doll to help illustrate that fact! Wait, do these kids have names? Have they stolen those memories, too? Will they leave me with nothing?!” –Victor Von

“Those AI devices look way more human than those alleged children. At least they look like something a human would build or draw.” –Banana Jr. 6000

“Guys! Where are you going? The stadium is over there! Why are they running towards the practice field? Are they going to the parking lot?” –UncleJeff

“Gotta feel a little bad for those horse thieves. It must be rough trying to find burlap sacks big enough to carry your stolen horses.” –jroggs

“Slouched posture placing the thorax’s center of gravity behind its support, dramatically lengthened forelimbs, shortened knee-to-ankle span, the ever-present antennae? Dagwood should be less concerned with what Honey’s reading than with his advancing case of insectoidism.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Joey’s doing the bug-eyed, tongue-out, steam-from-the-ears thing that cartoon characters used to when they saw a beautiful woman, so I’m assuming this is a classic Dennis malapropism, and he thinks ‘tamale’ is pronounced like ‘female.’” –Schroduck

“Watching these kids hold a food designed to be eaten on a plate with their bare hands and watching Joey burn his tongue implying that the food just came from the steamer basket makes me think that Margaret isn’t really smart as that; she’s just a girl of normal intelligence surrounded by idiots.” –OId Man Shadow

“Imagine being comforted by Dick Tracy, with his hand gently clutching your shoulder. And all the while he’s got his eyes squinched shut, like he can’t bear to look at you. The awkwardness of this situation would probably make me forget what I was initially upset about. ‘So, like, anyway … do you have a Kleenex, because my face is really sweaty. Sorry if it’s grossing you out.’” –made of wince

“Part of Jimmy’s ‘going above and beyond’ included [squints] guarding a fireworks display? ‘Why, I will certainly ensure that only licensed, certified pyrotechnicians are employed by this company! And that all observers maintain the minimum required distance! And I will do so in a cop car straight out of 1974, for some reason.’” –astroboy

“I can personally relate to, and feel sympathy for, someone like Lou who tries to cover his bald scalp with a comb-over. I do have trouble, however, in sympathizing with Lou’s attitude of ‘Oh, what the heck. Three-quarters of the way across is good enough.’ Buy a toupee, Lou.” –seismic-2

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