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Hagar the Horrible, 7/23/18

The question of whether Hagar and his contemporaries are Christians or adherents to the old Norse pantheon is one that comes up often on this blog. But I guess these existential questions are best answered for all of us when we die, and Hagar’s looming demise is telling us a lot about who he served. Those aren’t angels, those are the servants of Ba‘al Zəbûb, Lord of the Flies.

Dick Tracy, 7/23/18

Good news, everyone! Sawtooth and Grimm did not manage to kill Dick Tracy while disguised as lovable bread-men! I myself am not a henchman for a criminal syndicate, but I really wonder: is admitting that you need medical attention because you’ve been shot, with a gun, enough for you to lose your “tough guy” status? Do transportation arrangements really trump a seeping bullet wound when setting priorities? I guess this is just further proof that I’m not cut out for the crime biz!

Gil Thorp, 7/23/18

Ha ha oh God this game is still happening this storyline is still happening this spring will never end

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Hi and Lois, 7/22/18

Hello there! Do you have opinions about non-representational modern art? Well, if you’re a syndicated cartoonist, why not put them in the mouth of an innocent child, of the age whose aesthetic judgements we often deem to be “pure” rather than “extremely naive?” I enjoy the fact that Dot is rolling her eyes at Ditto in panel one; she finds his ignorance staggering and depressing, but apparently feels no shame about her own diatribe about how degenerate modern art is an insolent mockery of the Divine under centrist rule, a deliberate sabotage of national defense, and a depiction of nature as seen by sick minds.

Family Circus, 7/22/18

I’m not sure what the joke here is, but a good way to get an actual pre-verbal toddler hurt is to have him just wander the streets by himself, unsupervised!

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Gil Thorp, 7/21/18

OK, fine, this is how the Gil Thorp baseball season plotline ends: with Barry Bader, who’s been just a relentless dick to everyone for, literally, more than two years, finally makes a little speech where he gives the most half-assed apology imaginable, in the middle of a game when nobody asks for it. You know this is the resolution because Gil and Kaz give each other big grins and say “That’s our Barry!!!!!” and then, presumably, walk away into the summer sunshine, never to think about Barry or any of the other seniors again. It’s only the fourth inning, but see ya kids, golf’s not gonna play itself!

Hi and Lois, 7/21/18

Hi’s kids only want to spend time with him because he’s bribing them with ice cream! That’s the joke I was going to write for my blog making fun of comic strips, but then I realized it’s also the joke of this comic strip, and it’s incredibly sad.