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Beetle Bailey, 6/24/25

One of my favorite bits of actual Beetle Bailey character evolution over the past few years is Zero going from being a friendly but very stupid farm boy to being a friendly but very stupid farm boy who is also a highly skilled killing machine. Anyway, I obviously really enjoy this strip, in which Zero grins dumbly at the collection of shells he’s amassed. He seems unaware that each of those shells, the byproduct of his expert marksmanship, is the harbinger of one or more awful deaths, but Beetle and Killer know, and are profoundly unsettled.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/24/25

Herb, why are you looking so smug? One of your regulars is complaining that you’re using substandard meat in your tacos! Or maybe using chicken when you advertised beef! The “foul”/”fowl” joke only works in writing, so I’m not really sure whether it’s coming across here! At any rate, you’ve got an unhappy customer and I’m not sure what you think is so darn funny about it!

Mary Worth, 6/24/25

“Her brother seems to be taking care of her … at least that’s the impression I got in the approximately 45 seconds it took for him to lure her out of my apartment. Do you think I should, like, send an email to see how that whole thing is going?”

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Heathcliff, 6/16/25

This is, of course, a hilarious joke about rectal thermometers, and I laud the strip for being subtle enough to not use the words “rectal” or “butthole” or anything like that. However, just to make sure you get the point, Heathcliff’s butt, hanging out the window for his protection, has been depicted in a subtle but still vividly shapely manner, with gentle curves letting us know that yes, the punchline of this panel is specifically about Heathcliff’s ass.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/16/25

Look, Jamaal, I’ve been frank and open about the fact that I too struggle with difficulty remembering the names of acquaintances, even when I remember so many stories about them and details of their lives that it would be extremely embarrassing to ask them, once again, what their name is. So I appreciate you trying out this little “life hack” here, but I don’t think it’s practical. Think of all the social interactions required just to ensure you both end up at the same coffee shop at the same time! Surely his name’s going to come up at some point in that process. So, I like your creativity, but let’s keep brainstorming on this.

Dennis the Menace, 6/16/25

Oh NO but your mom ISN’T HERE RIGHT NOW so he’s gonna DRIVE RIGHT INTO A WALL and you guys AREN’T EVEN IN CHILD SEATS, this is gonna be a BLOODBATH

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Pluggers, 6/10/25

Pluggers already did a version of this bit in 2007, only back then the joke was “When a plugger gives you directions, all the landmarks he uses will be stores that long ago went out of business, because his mental map of the world stopped changing at some point as he aged.” Now it’s “Wouldn’t it be cool if your phone, possibly using some kind of advanced AI, gave you directions using long-closed stores as landmarks so as to better match your mental map of the world, which stopped changing at some point as you aged?” This is, I think you’ll agree, significantly more depressing.

Blondie, 6/10/25

Speaking of old people and technology, I appreciate Blondie’s ongoing mission of educating us on how old people use technology. You ever log into a website with two-factor authentication turned on, and it asks you if you want to receive your access code as a text or a phone call, and you think to yourself, “A text, obviously, who on earth would ever choose phone call, that sounds terrible”? Well, it turns out that the ones choosing “phone call” are the writers and, presumably, the readers of the syndicated newspaper comic strip Blondie.

Mary Worth, 6/10/25

I guess it’s only Tuesday so there’s probably a bit more to come but I do love that Wilbur and Dawn are just speed-running their way to pretending the Belle Episode never happened and pushing all the associated emotions they might have about it deep down inside. Are we going to unpack what “someone like Belle” means in this context? Nope! Are we gonna acknowledge that Belle’s brother was just Tall Wilbur? Absolutely not! La la la everything is fine just fine in Westonworld, just as it always has been, aside for a few minor bumps we don’t think about, ever!

Herb and Jamaal, 6/10/25

“That’s an interesting philosophical take, Herb, and I appreciate it! So, uh, are you going to help me … operate this restaurant that we both own, or are you just going to spend the rest of the day doing this conceptual art project or whatever it is?”