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Slylock Fox, 1/21/26

One of the things that truly sets people apart from animals is that our enormous brains are too large when fully formed to pass through a human birth canal, which means that much of that brain formation happens after birth and we’re basically helpless for the first few years of life, unlike newborns of most species. A baby chicken would indeed “instinctively step upwards as the sand rises,” whereas a baby human would simply cry pathetically as the sand buried them. This may have been a particular advantage to the non-humans in their great rise during the Animalpocalypse, as even their very young could participate in their war of extermination against H. sapiens. The mechanism by which they gained sapience despite their tiny skulls is still unknown, and Count Weirdly should probably be putting his scientific acumen towards answering that question rather than trying to sell fake honey-making machines or whatever.

Intelligent Life, 1/21/26

Say what you will about Intelligent Life, the strip where a character will say in all seriousness that “2026 is going to be huge for movies,” and then use as a data point the upcoming release of the most bottom-dwelling “who on Earth is this for” garbage you can imagine, but at least it got me to research a little and learn that Skeletor will be played by box-office poison Jared Leto, which I have to say brightened my day a little.

Garfield, 1/21/26

Garfield’s contempt for Jon, Odie, and indeed most other characters in the Garfiverse is an integral part of his whole vibe. But is his contempt justified? That’s a whole different question. Today we learn that, within his own reality, an objective third-party source (an app, clearly the best determinant of truth) confirms his opinions on his superiority over others. Will this reinforcement of his beliefs unleash a wave of “cattitude” the likes of which the funny pages have never seen, to the delight of eight-year-olds everywhere?

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Mary Worth, 12/16/25

There’s a lot of hand-wringing about “grade inflation” at elite universities, which I have for the most part thought is overblown, but, I dunno: if they’re giving Ian Cameron a “University Excellence Award,” maybe things really are bad.

Family Circus, 12/16/25

Honestly love Thel’s wary expression here. She specifically told Dolly not to talk to Santa like a dumbass, but she’s clearly talking to Santa like a dumbass, and Thel’s too far away to stop her. The way the composition draws your eye to her is great, and I’m imagining a Vertigo-style dolly zoom shot on her face as she listens to this nonsense unfold.

Luann, 12/16/25

Sorry I started doing Luann on this blog again after like a decade only to become fixated on shoving the “Ugh, Brand and Toni have an active erotic life and it’s disgusting” strips in your face. This one I enjoy because I’m imagining the DeGroot parents sitting forlornly around their living room thinking “When is Brad going to come over and aim the snowflake projector at our house? He said he would do it, but where is he? He better not be fucking.”

Slylock Fox, 12/16/25

What really jumps out at me in both versions of this panel is how old these pirates look. No wonder they seem so upset at this joke of a treasure! They’ve wasted the best years of their lives!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/16/25

Damn, Maybelle Pratt! Turns out Snuffy Smith straight-up does not like you. It’s a good thing you’re leaving town!

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Gil Thorp, 12/15/25

It’s often unclear to me how old anyone in a comic strip is supposed to be, and Gil Thorp in particular has historically had a quirky implementation of comic book time where the kids get older but Gil and the adults seem to stay more or less the same age, but I’ve always assumed that Gil is in his mid-to-late 40s while Beth is somewhat younger? Anyway, I get the feeling that most of my readers, like me, are or are rapidly approaching A Certain Age, so you probably won’t like being informed that the Golden Girls actresses were all in their 50s in the early seasons of the show. What I’m trying to get at is that Beth thinks what’s going on here is “cute” but in fact Gil is slurping ramen and, through a feverish haze, getting hornt up in an age-appropriate way over Rue McClanahan rather than her.

Slylock Fox, 12/15/25

Slylock faces the dilemma familiar to any more-or-less honest cop working within an authoritarian regime: you get into the game to protect small businesses from thieves or stop sideshows from defrauding innocent customers, but you do have to spend a certain amount of time humoring an absolute dictator sitting on a gold throne about their extremely specific problems, which have no real-world impact on anyone’s lives. I’m sure that Slylock figured out the answer to this riddle as soon as the situation was described to him, but I appreciate that he’s humoring Max by taking the magnifying glass from him momentarily before calling for the royal scales. What do you think happened to the thief who came up with this botched scheme, by the way? Probably being tortured to death in the palace prison, right?