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Comics archive! Six Chix

Mostly maulings

Panels from Slylock Fox, 10/26/14

Today’s Slylock Fox Six Differences puzzle takes place in that awkward period after the animals achieved sapience but before they had truly taken over the Earth. Our grumpy park ranger’s face may bear the scowl of prejudice, but his cause is legit: if this bear can now think and reason like humans, shouldn’t he be subject to the same law? Eventually the animals would develop their own cargo cult legal system in response to these issues, but at this moment, I assume that, despite his newfound intellectual powers, the bear here is still more than happy to meet aggression animal-style, with his claws.

Dennis the Menace, 10/26/14

At last, Dennis the Menace has shattered the unspoken rule that all characters in the daily comics must be gentiles! We learn a valuable lesson here today: that little Jewish children and little Christian children can be friends, so long as neither of them understands any of the theology behind their various holidays and just think of them as “that thing we celebrate in [insert season here],” and also agree to come together at the end of October to worship Satan. (Side note: I’m going to accept as canon the clear implication in today’s throwaway panels that Margaret is a well-known anti-Semite.)

Mary Worth, 10/26/14

There are lots of good reasons to wish that Frank Zappa was still alive, and somewhere on that list is my desire to see what he’d think about having a quote almost certainly incorrectly attributed to him used to try to bully an old woman in Mary Worth into an assisted living facility.

Six Chix, 10/26/14

Ha ha, it’s funny because the scalpel blades are breaking off still embedded in the patient’s flesh! There’s so much blood! So much hilarious, hilarious blood!

Momma, 10/26/14

Tina had sometimes resented the fact that her rift with her mother-in-law meant that she and Thomas didn’t get invited to many family gatherings with his brother and sister. But then, she reflected, if she had been at the house that day, she would’ve been mauled to death by the cold, thirsty bear-dog-things, just like the rest of Thomas’s family.

I mean, he’s not asking about whether the Son proceeds from the Holy Spirit or anything complicated like that

Beetle Bailey, 10/25/14

Not sure what denomination Chaplain Staneglass is supposed to be, but mainstream Christian theology has had a ready answer to this one since at least Aquinas and probably Augustine. The short version is that God is eternal and exists outside of time as we understand it — indeed, the linear progression of time, including the concept of cause and effect, is part of His creation, so it doesn’t really make sense to talk about Him being created by anyone or anything. You can find this logic varying degrees of satisfying based on your own personal beliefs, but the idea that a clergyman would respond to a sincere question about it with “WELP ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” makes me a little depressed about the quality of ministry available to our soldiers and/or cartoonists, and I’m an atheist.

Six Chix, 10/25/14

You can see this as a cartoon about a dad being a sullen dick about doing a joint Halloween costume with his daughter, but I prefer to interpret it as a clever little girl doing the best she can to work with the requirements of an unusual court order.

Ha ha, kids today, takin’ pictures in vast open fields and whatnot

Funky Winkerbean, 10/17/14

So, yeah, it’s been all week and I still haven’t gotten over this “Les bowls Cayla over by writing a comic book about how she rescued him from the pits of despair when his first, more important wife died” plot twist. To make it even better, he’ll be flying her to Hong Kong so they can watch it get spat out of an industrial-sized laser printer at whatever low-bid printing company he picked that will just build a book out of any PDF you send them, which means the whole trip will be blessedly tax deductible. This obviously merits some tongue-kissing, and much as I rag on this strip, I have to say that Summer’s expression of mingled shock and disgust is perfectly rendered. She stands in for all of us.

Six Chix, 10/17/14

You kids today, always taking pictures of each other with your cell phones for the instagrams and so forth! Enjoy your youth now, but know that the icy finger of death is always, always just inches away from your tender skin. That’s … that’s the message in this nationally syndicated cartoon today, I guess?

Pluggers, 10/17/14

Oh, sure, laugh at this plugger dog-man taking his date to a fast food restaurant if you must, but at least he’s moved a step or two up the food chain!