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Comics archive! Six Chix

Vowel disharmony

Six Chix, 6/24/16

It’s very sad seeing this grim future environmental dystopia whose inhabitants consider a scattering of trees in an open field to be a “forest.” This comic serves as a warning that merely “liking” activist posts on Facebook does not bring about meaningful political change.

Marvin, 6/24/16

DemonCat is a regular poster in the comments section of this very blog, and a little Googling has shown that all of these are the usernames of regular commenters on King Features’ official Comics Kingdom site, which is where Marvin is hosted. So, congrats, DemonCat and everyone else! You got a shout-out from Marvin! May God have mercy on your souls.

Judge Parker, 6/24/16

Wow, maybe the Parker-Drivers are more business savvy then I thought? They know that modern affluent consumers aren’t looking for mere products; they want stories and experiences, which means that they’ll buy Neddy’s amateurishly designed clothes because it makes them feel connected to the celebrities they idolize and vaguely patriotic for buying something Made in the USA! They’ll buy them at least once or twice, anyway, long enough for Neddy to book enough revenue to make the company attractive to some international conglomerate that’ll move the whole operation to Bangladesh.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/24/16

Wait, did Mopey Pete just say “may-soan” or “may-son-ee”? This is going to be bothering me for days.

How does he take his glasses on and off? That’s what I want to know

Six Chix, 6/18/16

This is, I suppose, a joke about “tree-hugging,” but I can’t get past the idea that this lady replied to a guy on a dating app who didn’t put up a picture. I mean, like, she did, right? Because he’s a tree, and she seems surprised by this? “Who did you expect,” asked the sunglasses-wearing tree with no arms, “George Clooney? Just because I put a picture of George Clooney on my profile? Boy, are you naive. By the way, I don’t have any arms, and the fact that you’ve put a glass of booze in front of me that I’m unable to pick up is very offensive.”

Judge Parker, 6/18/16

Oh, whoops, looks like Neddy and Hank weren’t up all night screwing after all! Nope, they were just waiting outside the local 7-11 for the print version of the newspaper to be delivered. Do they … not know that newspapers are on the Internet now? Sam and Abbey are correct to look extremely concerned.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/18/16

You spend most of a lifetime feeling angry, abandoned, and alone, only to conclude, after encountering some brief kindness in your declining years, that maybe this existence of ours isn’t an unmitigated pit of despair: the closest Funky Winkerbean will ever get to a happy ending.

Friday’s for the dogs

Hi and Lois, 6/17/16

Comics where the punchline relies on visual information absent in the first panel are a venerable tradition! They must be awful confusing for the poor souls who have to set up the jokes though, like this hapless teen talking to Chip here. “Wait, have we … been in this yard the whole time? Why did I think he was a lifeguard at a pool? Who am I? Will I ever appear again? Or will I fade back into the nothingness from which I came?”

Six Chix, 6/17/16

I simultaneously think this cartoon is terrible and also love it immensely. I have lots of questions about the world-building here — like, are the toilets in the men’s room full of liquor specifically for the benefit of dog patrons? Or did the dog come here because of their liquor-toilet gimmick? Does the dog belongs to one of those women? Or do they just know his name because he’s a regular at this weird, empty bar? But I think the best part is that the dog is walking on two legs. Two legs! Is this because he’s drunk, and walking upright is something drunk dogs do? Or is it because only bipedal dogs are advanced enough to go to bars and get drunk, even though they have to drink out of the toilet while they’re there? It’s a delight, I tell you, a damn awful delight.

Pluggers, 6/17/16

Check out the sly smile on the plugger-lawyer. “I’m gettin’ paid $150 an hour for this shit! Can you believe it?”