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Hi and Lois, 11/8/25

In addition to being a coastal elitist who knows about academia, I contain multitudes and am also a Rust Belt native who was in a bowling league growing up, so let me explain something to you effete non-bowlers out there: it is extremely easy to throw a gutter ball, and if you were engaged in an earnest contest to see who could throw more gutter balls, that contest would simply end in a tie, because you and your opponent would each get the ball in the gutter at every opportunity (20 per game). I must assume that Dot and Ditto engaged in some sort of conceptually more complex competition, in which they each pledged to bowl to the best of their abilities as if they were attempting to knock down as many pins as possible, and yet still agreed that the “winner” at the end would be the one who had most frequently failed in the task. Under such conditions, could you ever know whether your opponent was operating in good faith? Dot’s facial expression shows that she has profound doubts about the results of this admittedly confusing competition.

Six Chix, 11/8/25

It’s a nice touch that they gave Pumpkin Boyfriend orange hands. He’s not just a guy with a pumpkin for a head, he’s all pumpkin, and it’s a good thing he didn’t go into that coffee shop or all the autumn-crazed maniacs in there would have torn him to pieces.

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Six Chix, 10/15/25

I genuinely love the open, slightly quizzical expression on the face of the bucket in this panel. He’s just a simple bucket! He doesn’t fully understand the complex emotional lives of the brooms and mops, here in this world where brooms and mops and buckets have faces and talk and go to bars. He’s interested in seeing how all this plays out, but ultimately he’s just waiting for the mop to stick herself inside him again, where she can get good and wet. Is that sexual, in this world? Well, it’s not not sexual, I’ll tell you that much.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/15/25

Speaking of sexuality, you’re probably wondering: sure, the characters in Rex Morgan, M.D., aren’t getting a bunch of money all the time like they used to, but are they having sex? Well, no, they’re not. They’re turning down sex so they can go work on tasks that, to reiterate, aren’t going to pay them very much, or possibly at all.

Alice, 10/15/25

Sorry I complained about Alice’s rogues gallery of baffling freaks, everybody! We’re now going to be subjected to new characters that are bone-crushingly boring and normal until we’ve learned our lesson.

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Mary Worth, 10/7/25

This polite jockeying about who should climb down from the balloon first is getting to “a farmer needs to get a chicken, a fox, and a bag of grain across the river in as few trips as possible” levels of complexity, but it seems like they’re failing Logic 101 very badly by ending up with a scenario where the lightest passenger is left in the balloon by herself in the final step, at which point the balloon will lift off from the tree and float away. Honestly this seems like the sort of thing that would be covered at balloonivation school and is another strike against Stanley’s skills. Anyway, presumably Olive will eventually land in some sort of magical realm on the other side of the rainbow, where she’ll seize power and rule behind a veil of trickery, so she won’t be our problem anymore.

Six Chix, 10/7/25

Remember, the Tuesday Chixiverse is the sandwich-fucking one, so it’s not clear if the pumpkin is saying “it’s our time” because the mysterious figures in the background are planning on taking them home to have sex with them, or to carve them up and/or eat them, which the pumpkins’ facial expressions make clear is regarded as a sexually-charged act. Either way, welcome to Six Chix spooky season, everybody!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/7/25

Look, fellas, when your wife tells you to put the toilet seat down, it’s not because she’s a shrew who likes nagging for nagging’s sake; it’s because she doesn’t want to accidentally sit down on the porcelain rim of the toilet bowl. If you, for instance, are a mythical dwarf, and your spouse isn’t, and you have your own specialized tiny toilet sized for your miniature hindquarters, she probably doesn’t care about the seat on that one. I guess it’s possible that the implication here is that the Seven Dwarfs only have a tiny toilet in their home, which would be reasonable given that they’re all tiny, and Snow White, who has moved in with them, resents this and brings it up at every opportunity. Either way, welcome to Mother Goose and Grimm scat joke season, everybody!

Flash Gordon, 10/7/25

I definitely enjoy the fact that Flash Gordon is, canonically, a Yale man, which adds flavor to today’s strip, in which he claims he’ll do well fighting in gladiatorial combat in the arena because he used to win “matches” back in college. Did you play tennis, Flash? Did you win a few tennis matches, back when you were in school, “in New Haven”?

Dick Tracy, 10/7/25

“Dr. Faust, is it? And you thought you could make some sort of deal to your advantage with an evil figure, did you? Not really much for classic literature, are you?”