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Mary Worth, 6/29/26

The very first Mary Worth plot covered on this blog introduced both Tommy in full drug lord mode and launched the Wilbur/Iris relationship, so it makes sense that Wilbur’s view of Tommy is filtered through the difficulties Tommy’s caused his mother. That’s not why he’s so upset, though (obviously Wilbur has caused Iris plenty of trouble on his own). No, the real issue is that if even Dawn isn’t writing Tommy off as a hopeless addict and loser, where does that leave Wilbur? He’ll be fighting Ian to avoid the “worst dude in Charterstone” title, and Ian agreed to not murder his wife’s parrot so he’s already got a head start! Anyway, I’m looking forward both to seeing Wilbur’s emotional meltdown and learning what “teen dance-offs” are.

Alice, 6/29/26

A while back we learned that Alice might be good at her job, actually, which I found somewhat destabilizing, but we didn’t learn what her job actually is. Today we find out that she’s apparently a teacher of some kind, which is funny because we’ve never, ever seen her teaching a class. Maybe she should be laid off, actually? Since she doesn’t have any students, and teaching them is her job?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/29/26

Ha ha, yes, Snuffy, that is certainly one way to construe the gentleman’s statement! But for real, stealing chickens from your destitute neighbors is one thing, but you stole a car and you’re going to jail jail now.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/29/26

Oh, well, big news, Herb: when people say “affordability,” they are actually specifically discussing whether people can afford to pay for goods and services. People like you, for instance! So we’re all talking about the same thing here, it turns out.

Six Chix, 6/29/26

Yeah, if my dog started talking to me like this, I would be freaking the fuck out! This guy knows what’s up!

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Blondie, 6/18/26

When Blondie started a business, back in 1991, it might’ve presented the strip with an opportunity to step beyond the tired food-mania cliches it had been orbiting around for decades. Unfortunately the business she started was a catering company, and most of the jokes it generated are about various customers coming in and making terrible food puns based on whatever their forced-zany shtick is. Anyway, today’s strip is notably sad because I’m reasonably sure Blondie’s “Do you happen to be marketing executives?” line is meant to be complimentary.

Six Chix, 6/18/26

The “mainstream media” won’t cover it, but the giant bug-things are coming and they will kill us all if we don’t prepare for all-out war against them. The gang at Six Chix has been trying to raise the alarm, and I just hope it’s not too late!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/18/26

“It’s sure better than the piece of shit cafe where I work. The food there’s barely edible. You can put that in your report if you want!”

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Mary Worth, 6/13/26

Dawn’s never alone because of her friends! You know, like Cathy, who’s always eating giant salads, and other Cathy, who Dawn probably drifted away from because she didn’t “get” Dawn’s weird and possibly sexual relationship with her art history professor, and her terrible ex-boyfriend Jared, who dumped her and then bullied her into being friends with him so he could feel OK about getting together with the girl he dumped her for, and … uh, I think that’s it. Well, there’s Mary, I guess. She’s sort of a friend. And Tommy! Over the course of the day they’ve at least become friendly. That’s close enough, right?

Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/13/26

The good news is that Ma Goose is now reciting her tepid jokes at some random character we’ve never seen before instead of just saying them into the phone. The bad news is that she looks terrible. I think she might be dying?

Six Chix, 6/13/26

Hey, wouldn’t it be interesting if your dog were chased by some kind of giant, nightmarish bug creature? Have a fun weekend, everybody!