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Comics archive! Crock

It’s also a shame that French teens are eating all this crappy American food

Crock, 5/3/15

Though Crock is pretty obviously supposed to take place in some version of the French Foreign Legion in some version of colonial North Africa, it’s pretty rare to get explicit clues like the French tricolor flying from the fort here. Today we learn that in a desperate attempt to hold onto its crumbling empire, France is employing child soldiers! Shame!

Blondie, 5/3/15

As excuses to hide a secret extramarital affair go, I would rate “oh no I was working on a complicated jigsaw puzzle with my male friend and we lost track of time look ha ha here are some puzzle pieces in my pocket, I’m definitely not making this up” as fairly unbelievable.

Mary Worth, 5/3/15

This week in Out-Of-Context Quotes From Inappropriate People That Arrived In Mary Worth Via Probably: self-described “transgressional fiction” author Chuck Palahniuk, most famous for writing Fight Club! Very excited to learn at the end of this two-week trial period whether Adam is a figment of Terry’s imagination or vice-versa.

Judge Parker, 5/3/15

Oh, hey, in all the excitement over Sophie’s dreams of warlordship, I forgot to mention how the whole confrontation with Dalton turned out! How it turned out was this: Sam offered to set up some kind of Skype connection so that Dalton could watch his daughter get married, and Dalton sheepishly calmed down. Now Abbey will have to pretend to enjoy watching this poor-person affair on the trailer park’s TV, assuming Sophie doesn’t decide to bomb it from space.

Incoherent is the new hilarious

6 Chix, 4/28/15

Wait, what’s the difference between the “professional” and the mom here? They look the same! Shouldn’t the rejected mom be the sad one? Or is that the mom way over on the end of the branch? Maybe the mom is the happy drunk, and the sad one at the end of the branch is an editor? Maybe these guys wandered in from Shoe, and they’re all sad, drunk editors? I bet that’s it.

Apartment 3-G, 4/28/15

Oh look, it’s fake psychic Diane, here played by beloved roommate figure Tommie Thompson. Gabby — Gabriella — is Margo’s birthmom and a sometime fake psychic herself, all dressed up to receive her surprise midnight visitor. In panel two, she speaks for us all.

And I know I speak for us all when I say, “WILL YOU PEOPLE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STAND STILL?!!

Crock, 4/28/15

The long-awaited Crock/Pluggers crossover. You thirsty, Andy Bear? Just wait.

Faithful readers! I’m outta here — Josh returns tomorrow, rested, refreshed, and ready. Thanks for a fun week-and-some; see you next time!

– Uncle Lumpy

Ha ha it’s funny because of calories

Dennis the Menace, 2/3/15

You know what, you try coming up with a cute-but-not-too-cute joke-utterance to put into the mouth of a menacing-but-not-too-menacing little kid, day in and day out, for decades, OK??? It’s not easy! Sometimes you want to do something else. Sometimes you might want to put in a joke written by grownups, for grownups. Like that diet food, amiright? There’s fewer calories, but it costs more money! What’s up with that? Dennis’s exaggerated grimace at his dad’s comedic stylings is actually one of the more subtly menacing things he’s done lately.

Crock, 2/3/15

I’m used to thinking of Captain Preppie as having been rendered largely harmless by his own relentless self-absorption, but panel one completely upends that impression, rendering him as a wild-eyed predator, attempting (and, thankfully, failing) to recruit others into a band of sex maniacs.