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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/1/26

Ah, it looks like our runaway ex-Hollywood starlet, now desperate to eschew fame, is about to run into our own Mud Mountain Murphy, who has something of a complicated relationship with fame himself! You might recall that Mud was so intent on getting a headlining spot at a roots country show that he pretended to shit himself on stage to move his set later in the order; subsequently, however, thanks to the phoney-baloney Mirakle Method, he became a better person. Still, the Method also helped him find fame as “Li’l Fergus”, and he seems very twitchy about how his headshot should be on the wall of this crappy motel lobby, so it might take the love (?) of a good (???) woman to set him straight once and for all.

Mary Worth, 3/1/26

Oh, interesting, it looks like this Mary Worth plot isn’t going to be about sinister AI, but actually about the very grim reality of most so-called pig butchering scams. It turns out that if you got tricked out of tens of thousands of dollars in bitcoin by a fake online romantic partner, the conversations you were having are less likely to be with a cackling Danny DeVito lookalike and more likely to be with one of tens of thousands of people who have been recruited under false pretenses and enslaved in compounds along the Thai-Cambodian border. And sure, AI will end up making lots of white-collar jobs obsolete, but it will probably soon be able to do scam convos well enough that the criminal syndicates that profit off these cons will soon find that kidnapping people is no longer cost effective, so who’s to say if it’s good or bad.

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Marvin, 2/28/26

OK, the question of “What the hell kind of school does Marvin go to” is always a live one, seeing as he’s a literal infant, but it’s really relevant here. What the hell kind of school does Marvin go to where he’s learning stuff about the history of pie? I took a seminar in college taught by a professor who specialized in the history and sociology of French food and I didn’t learn this! Sorry, comics gag writers: you can’t just learn a fun fact and then put it in the mouth of a child in your strip and say he learned it at school and then call it a day. And don’t look so smug, Jenny! It’s not like you invented chocolate pie.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/28/26

Oh, yeah, I haven’t told you about it, but there’s a new Rex Morgan, M.D., plot, where a former Hollywood starlet has been living in isolation in her mansion for more than a decade, hiding from the press by pretending to be her own maid. What would end up connecting this woman to our main cast? Something medical, perhaps? Some unique malady that only Rex Morgan, M.D., or perhaps his wife June Morgan, N.P., could solve? Or maybe [watches her turn on her inexplicably old-timey radio and roots country comes out of it] OH COME ON

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Dick Tracy, 2/9/26

I haven’t really been keeping you up to date on this guest-written Dick Tracy storyline, but the short version is that a watch Dick gave long ago to his first partner, “Jerry Gould,” was dropped by a mysterious fleeing villain. Jerry does not appear to have an entry in the invaluable Dick Tracy wiki, so I assume he’s a new character invented for this plot and given the last name of strip creator Chester Gould as an homage. Anyway, it turns out Jerry left the force and became some sort of damn hippie with a guitar and a ponytail, although the flattop haircut he received upon joining Neo-Chicago’s MCU remains permanently grafted onto his skull.

Judge Parker, 2/9/26

Oh, it turns out Randy has been imprisoned for four and a half months somewhere where there is “only ice and time,” so, I guess … Norway? Like, he went to Norway to track down his wife by any means necessary, except some of those means violated some local laws and he was arrested and then duly tried, convicted, and sentenced? Seems fair to me. If you didn’t want to do the time in the cold, you shouldn’t have done the crime in the cold, Randy.

Gil Thorp, 2/9/26

Look, man, you’re going around creepily whispering in your rivals’ ears and you deal with high school ruffians all day, I’m pretty sure you can find your way to understanding the mindset that results in a little light vandalism. It’s fun! Have some fun with it!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/9/26

“That’s an awful big word, dad. Did you forget that I’m not very bright?”