The Comics Curmudgeon

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Mary Worth presents: JILTED LOVER SMACKDOWN!

Mary Worth, 9/18/07

OH SNAP DR. DREW GOT SERVED! That slap is no mere blind lashing out on Dawn’s part; her right fist is cocked in panel one, but she’s clearly chosen to go for the open hand to maximize the humiliation factor. She neutralized Vera in panel one with a quick pinch to the jugular, so clearly she’s a woman who’s in total control of her hands in a situation like this.

This is clearly the most exciting Mary Worth since Aldo plummeted to his death, and keep in mind that it’s only Tuesday. Things in Santa Royale always escalate over the course of the week, so by Saturday we’ll have achieved near-stratospheric heights of either wanton violence or emotional despair.

Apartment 3-G, 9/18/07

I have the uneasy feeling that this new A3G subplot is taking place in a weird parallel universe, where there’s been some effort put into establishing Ruby’s character and showing that Professor Smooth Operator has been eyeing her from afar for some time. Maybe all those deleted scenes will be on the unrated special edition DVD. As it is, all we can really hope for is an outraged Gina spotting Aristotle two-timing her and making with the slap attack.

Gil Thorp, 9/18/07

Wow, Marty Moon appears to be about ready to fall asleep in mid-sentence in panel three. He can’t stay awake for even a single quarter of Mudlark gridiron action! In his defense, Gil Thorp football is really confusing and boring, and he’s probably pretty drunk.

Mark Trail, 9/18/07

“Yes, maybe we’re in luck! Of course, it will also come out that we spent millions in bribes to get permits to allow us to build an enormous mall so close to a flood-prone lake that even a few inches of rain will put the Banana Republic under a foot of water. The press will also probably get wind of the fact that the development company’s CEO and chief counsel are chalk-white undead zombies. But at least this damn duck situation will be taken care of!”

Pluggers, 9/18/07

I don’t have the spiritual strength to go hunting through the archives, but I’m pretty sure that this Plugger panel, in which a polka-dotted boxer-short-clad Rhino-Man clutches his massive gut and peeks at the scale with trepidation, has been used before. Of course, given how many Pluggers jokes boil down to “Pluggers are fat”, they could probably run it once a week or so.

Dennis the Menace, 9/18/07

Wait, did Dennis dress up in a quasi-Hawaiian garb just so he could deliver this fun fact about the word “aloha” to Mr. Wilson in style? Here’s a hint, kid: Themed costume + fascinating trivia item = levels of menace so low as to be undetectable by even the most powerful scientific instruments.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 at 02:00 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Dennis the Menace, Gil Thorp, Mark Trail, Mary Worth, Pluggers.

364 responses to “Mary Worth presents: JILTED LOVER SMACKDOWN!”

Mibbitmaker
September 18th, 2007 at 2:10 am [Reply]

Dammit! Again!!

Please read my #219 and #220 in yesterthread!!!!!

I can’t blame Josh nor myself when this happens. It’s like Batiuk writes our fates. There, I can blame him!
Mibbitmaker
September 18th, 2007 at 2:19 am [Reply]

(…Aaaaaaand that gets #1. Nice going, you badly-timed Mibbit!)

MT: It’s like those guys think FEMA can come to their rescue or something. Poor clueless land barons.

DtM: Right you are, Josh. Wilson just whisked the kid away with no trouble at all. A real menace would have the old man nearly paralyzed!
True Fable
September 18th, 2007 at 2:24 am [Reply]

MW BOOM shacka-lacka-lacka BOOM! I have been waiting for today’s strip but not really expecting to see it. In truth, I really figured Dawn would slink away and pine and whine for days on end. The fact that she hauled off and smacked the crap out of Drew is just THE BEST I could have hoped to see.
oh boy oh boy, this is going to be one zzzzesty as hell week!
Baka Gaijin
September 18th, 2007 at 2:25 am [Reply]

MW: WHERE’S MARY? She should be spouting platitudes and waggling her finger in biddy overdrive here. This had better be building up to some kind of meddlegasm?

PS-Yesss, Dawn executed a perfect 4-point pimp slap.
True Fable
September 18th, 2007 at 2:33 am [Reply]

#4 Baka Gaijin – It looks to me like her hand is traveling from right to left, thus effecting a bitch slap. Her palm is facing toward us, yes, but with a well-followed through bitch slap, the palm would be brought around like that. A pimp slap should have shown him going the other way and her hand on the right side.

But it doesn’t really matter because tomorrow she’ll probably punch his ‘nads and then he’ll wish she had just stopped with striking his face.
ElSanto
September 18th, 2007 at 2:34 am [Reply]

Yes! Dawn Weston delivers! Gratuitous and badly choreographed catfight cannot be far behind! Thank you, “Mary Worth”!
Baka Gaijin
September 18th, 2007 at 2:46 am [Reply]

#5 True Fable: I thought of that, but with no twist in the motion lines, Dawn couldn’t have turned her wrist so the palm impacted the face. Then again, with how large the hand and arm are, the slap could have come from Bill Ritter (GT). Definitely not Ted Fort (S4th), though.
MustacheMike
September 18th, 2007 at 2:49 am [Reply]

I’m sad, I’m in the first ten but the best comment I can make is that this will be the best week of Mary Worth ever. Drew should really have his glow checked out.
True Fable
September 18th, 2007 at 2:55 am [Reply]

#7 Baka Gaijin – I get you. Plus, look at the way she’s standing. Her body is facing us, but her face is toward Drew and her impossibly long arm is way over to the side with the palm facing us. That means she’d have to be standing with her back toward him and somehow moving her arm in a straight line as she’s dishing out a fresh hot pot of Serve. But the lines are coming from the face so neither of our theories are really panning out thanks to his reaction to some sort of blow.

I like the Bill Ritter angle, that’s a good call. :-)
JZ
September 18th, 2007 at 2:56 am [Reply]

RMMD: Really, gay subtext aside, what the hell is going on with this strip. It makes less sense than usual and that is saying a lot.
Les
September 18th, 2007 at 2:57 am [Reply]

Wait, but that hand striking Drew is gigantic. Maybe it’s somebody else’s hand? Maybe the stable boy stepped in?
Andrew Leal
September 18th, 2007 at 2:58 am [Reply]

There’s not a lot to add to the awesomeness of Mary Worth. You go, Dawn! I like the particular resonance of the slap, creating dark reverberating shadows around the surrounding area, and no doubt scaring off the horses.

Regarding Dennis the Menace, I strongly suspect that Mr. Wilson has, on a regular but gradual basis for the past decade or so, spiked his wife’s baked goods, inevitably mooched by Dennis, with either strong sedatives or hallucinogens, or both. Thus why he’s not at all worked up about Dennis and smilingly shoos him out. George Wilson is finally master of his own fate, and if the price to pay is the neighbor kid turning into a spaced out lei-wearing stoner before he’s even 10, so be it.
True Fable
September 18th, 2007 at 3:00 am [Reply]

And that’s not even counting the Vulcan Nerve Pinch she’s giving Vera.
Andrew Cunningham
September 18th, 2007 at 3:06 am [Reply]

If anyone ever shows Eyeshield 21 to the Gil Thorp people, they will cry themselves to sleep for weeks.
A New Day
September 18th, 2007 at 3:18 am [Reply]

4/23/07 – Pluggers – very similar. A bear on a scale, same boxers, different shower curtain, joke about a spare tire. That one was submitted by one of our own – Greg Harruff. I think we should all submit looking-at-the-scale in oversized boxer and t-shirt bits, see if we can get chiefplugr to run one a week.
And yes, this really is what I’m doing with my valuable insomnia time.

I’ll also comment on A3G – I couldn’t agree more about feeling that we’ve missed some backstory. Because if ever there were a couple that did not suggest a sexual attraction or emotional connection, it would be these two. And in a world populated with Garys, Alans, and whatever-the-hell-his-name-is-Margo-is-about-to-kills, the standard for this sort of thing is already pretty darn low.
Mariko
September 18th, 2007 at 3:22 am [Reply]

MW– I think Dawn’s strike to Drew was definitely a bitch-slap, and the force of the collision made her turn her entire body as follow-through.

Popeye– Why does Popeye have a question mark above his head? It’s not as if this is unusual behavior for Olive Oyl–she’s usually pretty selfish. Popeye should know better than to be surprised at this point.
Trilobite
September 18th, 2007 at 3:22 am [Reply]

That’s right, Professor Aristotle Cradlerobopolous’s twentysomething girlfriend was named Gina! Man, that was bugging me. I just remembered her as that one girl who stood somewhere just behind him, smiling to show how happy she was to have a rich Greek sugar daddy of her very own.

Maybe this is A3G’s way of telling us that the Professor has reached that age where he doesn’t really want sex anymore, he just wants someone to cook for him. Dumping the trophy nymphet and making a play for the middle-aged diner waitress with the killer blueberry muffin recipe would make sense then.
Lobsterchicky
September 18th, 2007 at 3:36 am [Reply]

My favorite part of MW is the pursing of Dawn’s lips during the slap. Mary may not be around to dispense any meddling, but the old-lady judgment is right there, all over Dawn’s spookily closed mouth.
Jym
September 18th, 2007 at 3:43 am [Reply]

=v= FW: I called it, yay me. The adoptee is from some country known as “Asia.”
Shave Ezra
September 18th, 2007 at 3:47 am [Reply]

FW: Aww, Jinx. What a nice name for the tragics…
Weasel Boy
September 18th, 2007 at 3:47 am [Reply]

GT: “We’ll likely see a pass on 3rd-and-8…and with any luck, I’ll pull this plane out of its perilous nose-dive and avoid crashing in to Milford stadium.”
Lord-z
September 18th, 2007 at 3:53 am [Reply]

It’s odd. Cousin Ruby keeps changing between homely southern woman, and kind of cute southern woman. Not hot, but in some frames she is certainly better looking than Tommie.

I think that Dennis is working on some kind of menace, but a very subtle kind. He stopped actually doing anything menacing, in order to drive Mr. Wilson crazy with paranoia. And it is working. By the mere mentioning of Dennis’ name, he breaks out in a sweat of terror. If that is not menacing, I don’t know what is.
The Avocado Avenger
September 18th, 2007 at 3:57 am [Reply]

RMMD: It’s no coincidence that “crush” is in bold type, my friends.

MW: I let out an audible “Oh yeah!” at the last panel, and then spent 15 minutes explaining to my husband why it was so awesome. He’s hiding in another room now, which is probably just as well.

A3G: Ruby has these amazing morphing jowls that come and go in a moment’s notice. It must be her super power.
Frank Parsnip
September 18th, 2007 at 4:04 am [Reply]

FW: The explanation that this is an adopted child from an “Asian adoption agency” rings false. Years ago, I remember once seeing one of the WWII-era Popeye animated cartoons in which spinach barely saved him from a whupping at the hands of an entire orphanage full of Japanese spies. My guess is that the smirk and aged appearance under that helmet hairdo belies a Chinese midget after our missile technology.

MW: I like Dawn’s kung-fu. Leading already with the right, she opens up and bitch-slaps him. I mean, that hand must have moved up and over fast to catch Dr. Drew.

A3G: Dr. Aristotle Assapopolous looks really glad that the aged, flabby Ruby is going to be there to be culled from the A3G herd. “You look delicious, my darling,” said the doctor.

RMMD: Now May is all concerned about quality control for the encounter she’s arranged for Dr. Rex and Niki. “Oh, he’ll be so crushed if that new ‘Cambodian Creamsicle’ maneuver he’s been working on isn’t up to your high expectations…”

Years ago, I was a “big brother” in BB/BS, and I can at least vouch for the fact that no parent ever was concerned that their kid wouldn’t live up to my “high expectations”. Of course in those days I was just a guy in his 20s trying to take a younger kid from a broken home out to go fishing. There really wasn’t any need for several panels worth of headgame discussion.
MWDG
September 18th, 2007 at 4:12 am [Reply]

Greats strip ever! Vera attack Dawn now!
AhClem
September 18th, 2007 at 4:29 am [Reply]

A3G – Why do I keep waiting for Ruby to shout out “Kiss Mah Grits?”

MW – Tomorrow’s episode: As Dr. Drew regains consciousness, and the swirling stars fade away, he sees an ominous shadowy figure towering over him. It’s Mary, wagging her finger and shouting “I told you so!” She kicks some horse shit into his face, spins on her heels, and waddles off into the sunset.

JP – “Sounds like Sophie’s my kind of girl. Sell her to me, and we’ll drop the rest of our demands for the winery.”
Lynngineering
September 18th, 2007 at 4:45 am [Reply]

Apt3g: The bow. In the hair. At two locations. Color-matched to dress. And bright green. So should her name be Emerald today? Does the color change with moods? What a uniform-code. Did Ruby hire Minnie Mouse as her fashion consultant? I bet she also wears matching gloves?

Carol Burnett would have refused such a simple costume design for a character, even if it were executed by Bob Mackie. None of the Golden Girls would have considered it twice. But thanks to comics drawn by men about women, there it is, fashion style: “the Ruby” (in green). Meanwhile Prof. Papa gets thousands of costume changes and beard trims… what a queen.
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 4:51 am [Reply]

Thank Jehovah the writers of Dennis The Menace didn’t opt for “Shalom” with that joke. It would be a bit too much for me to stomach to see Dennis in a yarmulke and sidelocks.

PS Glad to read you’re doing better True Fable.
PPS Congrats BigTed!
Dr
September 18th, 2007 at 5:06 am [Reply]

Well, of course Gil Thorp FB is confusing – both teams are wearing white uniforms with black numbers and white helmets! Marty’s got his eyes closed against the glare.
Mariko
September 18th, 2007 at 5:08 am [Reply]

#24 Frank Parsnip–
I’ve seen that Popeye, as well (it’s on Youtube, if you were interested in seeing it again), and I must agree with you.
monsieurjohn
September 18th, 2007 at 5:21 am [Reply]

The Asian acquisition in FW is seeming less like a child and more like a kitten, or, based on the way it’s climbing on its mother, a monkey… they’re even naming it Jinx.
Old Bean
September 18th, 2007 at 5:26 am [Reply]

DtM: Tomorrow, Dennis turns up in a fez, a sari and clogs and says “Hey, Mr Wilson, did you know Canadians say ‘eh’ a lot?” Mr Wilson already knows this. Dennis goes home, dejected, and spends another lonely evening licking lead paint.

MW: Haha, excellent. Vera’s just off-camera, but Dawn still has plenty of momentum in that swing. Looks like she’s going for the twofer. Drew’s hair is concussed!

A3G: ‘Permanent change of scene’ sounds an like mafia talk to me. Careful how you step, Professor.
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 5:27 am [Reply]

Way to bring it Dawn. Wrist-y follow through and upper body turn belies good stance and good form. You’re practiced, and not under Wilber’s hand. This technique argues a more meddlesome style, a Sensei Mary perhaps?
gleeb
September 18th, 2007 at 5:32 am [Reply]

9CL: So, If McE is admitting that his blowhard character is basically a raving lunatic, what does that say about McE’s willingness to expose the reading public to him? That he hates us? No, he does hate us, that would be too simple. McE has pretensions of being a writer of Dostoyevskian talent and scale. He truly thinks he can take the ravings of this madman and do the old silk purse-from-a-sow’s ear trick with them.

Silly old fart.
willethompson
September 18th, 2007 at 5:55 am [Reply]

MW: As you can see on the film, Dr. Cory’s head goes back and to the left, thus confirming the two-slapper theory.

As additional evidence, all of the material witnesses to the slapping disappeared under unusual circumstances: Vera was injested into the maw of a digital copier that mysteriously appeared in the clerk/typist department at her place of work, the horse was rendered into Alpo Supreme Prime Cuts lots #A213 0907 and #A214 1007, and the stableboy is presently hiding under the alias of ‘Nikki’ in the Rex Morgan comic strip.
audient
September 18th, 2007 at 5:57 am [Reply]

Mary Worth can be dog slow, but once in awhile the payoff is huge. Like now.
Carmichael the Polar Bear
September 18th, 2007 at 6:01 am [Reply]

MW: Now this is what makes getting out of bed on a dismal Tuesday morning all worthwhile.

I weep for joy at the tool Drew’s comeuppance at the hands of the Dawn of Vengance.

GRRRRL POWR!
M. Iscariot
September 18th, 2007 at 6:08 am [Reply]

#16 – Popeye– Why does Popeye have a question mark above his head? It’s not as if this is unusual behavior for Olive Oyl–she’s usually pretty selfish. Popeye should know better than to be surprised at this point.

Maybe Olive Oyl has a quest to turn in?

/should stop playing WoW late into the night.
colonial
September 18th, 2007 at 6:13 am [Reply]

MW: I need to buy a “Moy and Giella 9-18″ monogrammed golf shirt just like Dr. Drew! Are they in the same store as those “Wilson and Nolan 3-16″ cereal bowls featured a few months back?
Terry C
September 18th, 2007 at 6:20 am [Reply]

I hate pluggers.

Why can’t they get off the payrool, stop clogging up fast food lines when working people are going to lunch, and inhabiting comic strip territory that could be put to better and funnier use?

I hate pluggers.
Loppie Scaduto
September 18th, 2007 at 6:27 am [Reply]

TDIET Squid Alert!! :D
Terry C
September 18th, 2007 at 6:30 am [Reply]

Er … um … I hope pluggers know that by “payrool” I meant “payroll”.
Sheilagh
September 18th, 2007 at 6:40 am [Reply]

That Dennis the Menace panel in our paper had BOTH captions beneath the first panel. WTF? I didn’t think the newspapers had discretion on the lettering.

As for Mary Worth, I’m loving it! I was expecting a week of platitude-laden Angst, but instead we have physical violence — whee! I’m still expecting some thoroughly unnatural reaction from Vera, though. Most of us, on learning that “our” new guy was two-timing someone else the whole time, would join in on the slap-fest. I bet Vera resorts to platitude-laden Angst. Well, we’ll see.

It’s gonna be a fun week!
Inspector Dim
September 18th, 2007 at 6:47 am [Reply]

Only someone in the Funkyverse could name their kid “Jinx” and get the patented smirk of approval from all of their friends. After all, a miserable Asian orphan who brings curses down on all those she touches is probably the happiest thing going right now.
Inspector Dim
September 18th, 2007 at 6:48 am [Reply]

I hate to break it to Dawn, but in the first panel Drew’s paper has her rock beat.
MyEvilTwin
September 18th, 2007 at 6:51 am [Reply]

I have thrilling and sickening news to report: I had my first ever dream that was inspired (tainted?) by the Comics Curmudgeon! Yes, that’s right!

I dreamed that there was a bird and some eggs on the ground, and I had to protect them and save them!

Can I submit a complaint somewhere, and possibly seek compensation? Also, should I take this up with Josh, or would it be better to go directly to the folks at Mark Trail? Either way, I believe that I am OWED.
Plus a constant
September 18th, 2007 at 6:58 am [Reply]

#15 — A New Day — Don’t feel bad. I like to think that whatever I do with my insomnia time is more productive than those lazy bastards who just spend it sleeping. I can’t tell you how many comics archives I’ve gone through, for comics I don’t even like.
Dean Booth
September 18th, 2007 at 7:02 am [Reply]

DT: Dick Tracy, Heartless Bastard

MW: Drew Cory, Love Machine
andreavis
September 18th, 2007 at 7:03 am [Reply]

I really need the name of Drew’s hairstylist. Dawn delivers a smack of doom, and there’s not a hair out of place– just a slight dent in the front. What the hell does he use? Turtle Wax? Airplane glue? I MUST know.
Godzooky
September 18th, 2007 at 7:09 am [Reply]

#43 Sheilagh re: Vera’s reaction: My guess is that, instead of joining in, she will pay Mary’s advice re: Von forward and join Dawn in a forgiving and forgetting binge. But I’m really hoping she’ll just yell “Oh, no, you DIN’T just bitch-slip my man! It’s on, girl!” and the Catfight of the Century will commence.
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 7:11 am [Reply]

Bizarro – Nobody ever really snarks on this strip. I guess because it doesn’t have reoccurring characters or because the artwork is good enough to keep it limping by snark free. I’ve devised a quick system for snarking Bizarro which requires no fussy parsing of jokes or puns based on locating the little objects.
Dynamite = Strip sucks
Lil’ Alien = Strip blows
Piece of Pie = Strip not funny
Two of the above = Really bad
All three = Don’t bother reading the strip.
If you use this system, you will have wasted countless minutes looking for these objects and may well just give up and just read the strip.
True Fable
September 18th, 2007 at 7:15 am [Reply]

#28 Big Sims – Thanks, I do feel much better now. :-)

# 49 andreavis – Drew uses Jack Lord’s former stylist.

# 46 MyEvilTwin – hey, as long as I wasn’t in it feeding you cassarole and yelling fascist propaganda the way I did in Spectacular Spider-Brick’s dream the other day, you’re in the clear!
Trilobite
September 18th, 2007 at 7:16 am [Reply]

#46 MyEvilTwin — If you succeed at finding who to blame (and who can sign a check to make it all better), please let me know.

On Sunday, I was drowsily pondering Dick Tracy and thought that perhaps the next turn the storyline would take would be seeing the helicopter that Gretchen and her Russian pals stole crash down directly on top of the Baron, killing all of them (either from the impact or from the explosion when his package goes off).

And what’s happening in the strip today? Why, the stolen helicopter, rotors snapped from the chair Dick heaved through them, is plummeting earthward…directly at the Baron.

It’s freaking me right the fuck out, man. If I’m capable of predicting a Dick Tracy plot twist when I’m half-asleep, I can’t help but see it as a sign of impending madness. And let’s be honest, good mental health care costs some tall cash, and I’m going to need someone to foot the bill for it. If you succeed in putting Jack Elrod on the hook for your Shirley-esque dream, I think I’ll be able to use that precedent to get Dick Locher to pay the bills when they come to haul me off.

…I think I’m holding up okay for now. Gil Thorp still makes no sense, so I know I’m not completely insane YET.
AhClem
September 18th, 2007 at 7:18 am [Reply]

MW – Enjoy the face-slapping action this week while you can. The Law of Conservation of Biddyness mandates that it will be followed by six months of platitudes and meddling.
smacky
September 18th, 2007 at 7:19 am [Reply]

# 1: Mibbitmaker, you missed your opportunity! You should have said:

Josh Does It Every Time!
Oh Yeeeeeaeeeaaaaaaaaaeeeeaaaah!!!!!!
True Fable
September 18th, 2007 at 7:23 am [Reply]

#51 Big Sims – One thing I appreciate about Bizarro is the artwork is nice and clean. I really take issue with strips and single panels with artwork that looks like someone stuck a ink pen up a monkey’s butt and told him to sit and twist. They want to look like Gary Larson’s protege but end up looking, well, like a drawing made by a monkey’s butt.

But Bizarro at least puts the pen in a talented monkey’s hand. :-)
True Fable
September 18th, 2007 at 7:24 am [Reply]

#52 Trilobite – (What The) Dick Tracy probably does make sense on another planet.
True Fable
September 18th, 2007 at 7:25 am [Reply]

I meant #53. #52 was by some idiot.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 18th, 2007 at 7:25 am [Reply]

9CL: If I could believe that Thorax was spouting all that insane Monty boxcar to make a point that Wimpy McExpriest needs to drop his feelings of guilt about leaving the priesthood and focus on making a happy life with Hottie O’Formernun, I could almost forgive him. The only problem with that theory is that Thorax spouts this drivel unremittingly.

A3G: Uh-oh! Papa Aristotle Headbobblopolis is looking pretty smitten! Could we be seeing a Dawn-like Gina smackdown in a couple months?

Archie: Veronica! Go home and put a shirt on, for Christ’s sake!

Baldo: Another photorealistic flashback sequence is starting. I like these, for some reason.

BH: Look out, lady. Jolly Jerry is not really a dummy. Get out. Get out NOW and don’t look back.

(WT)DT: “Gretchen and her terrorists are going down…” Cheez ‘n’ crackers, people, your helicopter is crashing! Don’t you have something better to do than clean each other’s garages?

GF: Is Bucky irritating Satchel by censoring him, or is he doing something much worse to him that he’s beeping out to keep Satchel from telling? For the sake of my mental health, I so much want to believe the former.

RMMD: Geez, they’re at least a mile from the vineyard now. Shouldn’t Farmer Brown be shooing them out of his cow pasture? “Go do yer innuendo on someone else’s proppity! Dang fool kids an’ their double-D bullet bras! Tarnation, everone thinks they’re Mamie Van Doren these days…”

MW: “Oops! Glowing mosquito! Got him!”

MC: Maybe Norm was just admiring the tailoring of the tail hole in Cassandra Cat’s skirt. Norm wishes his fit that snugly. When your tail is flat like his, gapping is always a concern. You never know when you might be inadvertently giving passers-by a “beaver shot.”

RMMD: Awww, May’s Chia pet died.
Jamus The Bartender
September 18th, 2007 at 7:27 am [Reply]

DtM: I remember seeing that episode of Magnum PI…like every week. Except Robin Master’s dogs would chase Magnum to his car with a smirking Higgins watching and smirking.

Gil Thorp: Okay….why is Marty Moon calling the plays and showing what’s going on on the field? When I grew up in Chicago, Harry Caray used to pepper his play-by-play with messages like, “Emma Hoppenfeffer from Palos Hills is ninety-three today, happy birthday Emma, Stan Greychuck from Joliet is eighty-five today, happy birthday Stan, and the Kozchecks from Downers Grove are celebrating their fiftieth anniversary….HOMERUN.” Also, does Marty have an equivalent to the Seventh Inning Stretch where he sings “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” or it’s football equivalent?

Mary Worth: Okay, Doc Drew….here’s what you do now…ask Vera and Dawn if they’d be into a threesome. I really think they’ll go for it * snicker*….what a dumbass.
Lettuce
September 18th, 2007 at 7:30 am [Reply]

Dennis shows up in a dark suit with bow tie. “Hey, Mr. Wilson! Did you know that in the Nation of Islam, “Ah Salaam Aleichem” is both a greeting and farewell?” As Mr. Wilson goes to push Dennis out the front door, he sees a dozen stern black men, also dressed in suits, glaring at him. “Yes, Mr. Wilson,” Dennis says, “You’re my bitch now. Get me some cookies.”
AhClem
September 18th, 2007 at 7:33 am [Reply]

#60 Jamus -
Ernie Harwell, the announcer for the Detroit Tigers in the 1960s, used to say things like “A long foul fly down the 3rd base line. That ball was caught by a gentleman from Kalamazoo, Michigan.” After which I would ask my dad, “How does he KNOW that?”
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 18th, 2007 at 7:33 am [Reply]

RMMD: I just can’t leave this hairdo alone. I mean, I’ve seen people with afros before, and they had ears and foreheads. She looks like her head’s being swallowed by a giant Tribble. Pretty soon there will be nothing visible under the fur but her nose and mouth, like a fake-fur Phantom costume. It’s the Ghost-who-Sheds!
Tweeks_Coffee
September 18th, 2007 at 7:42 am [Reply]

A3G: I’m impressed Ruby’s managed to stay in the same color so far. It’s been many a moon since I’ve been to Dallas, but I’m pretty sure she’d stick out like a sore thumb there. How long before she hooks up with Blaze and his wild urban cowboy ways? They could take stagecoaches to dinner and New York and such.
DtM: Did Dennis just have his matched purple shirt and sandals in the closet?
DT: Oh Christ, not the freaking Baron again. Can we just get a helicopter blade to land on him and end this already?
GT: I’ve spent far too long trying to figure out what’s going on in the game today. Does that guy have the ball on top of his hands in the first panel? Then we apparently pause to look in on a game of leap frog with full pads.
Heathcliff: Which is good, because out of all the wires coming out of that setup, not a single one is going to the Tivo unit on top.
MT: Where do you suppose I can score me a sweet magenta chair like that? Is it a custom job? You have no idea how much I want to see one of these ashen freaks sit in that chair just for the pure ludicrousy of color difference.
MW: Awesome, simply awesome. This the best payoff from Mary Worth in forever.
OBH: That’s an oddly specific car choice. Never mind the fact that for Joe to be born in that situation he would’ve been born in the early ’70s.
Phantom: Well, not really the world Ghost-Who-Exaggerates, just to one small town in Africa. This is quickly building up to be one of the more boring arcs in today’s comics. Though the image of the Phantom knocking the can of spray paint out of what’s-her-face’s hand and maybe bullying her a bit certainly is a pleasant one.
TDIET: I’m confused, is her urge directed at him? It seems pretty unfair to get pissed at the guy for trying to follow doctor’s orders.
True Fable
September 18th, 2007 at 7:43 am [Reply]

RMMD The circus is in town, only May forgot to get the multicolored wig and had to settle for a sand-colored sea urchin.
The woman has the worst looking hair on record, and she’s concerned how Niki will feel about hanging around with Rex. Hell, I’d go power shopping with Carson Kressley before I’d be seen with a mother who looks like a walking dandelion, bony stalk and all.
Krazy Kat
September 18th, 2007 at 7:47 am [Reply]

I’ve put off ripping on Funky Winkerbean –but I can’t keep quiet any longer.
This morning I awoke to a newspaper with a cover story called “When a Comic Strip turns Tragic” and a full two page spread tracing Lisa’s slow slide into death. Tom Batiuk is a HACK. He has forgotten the entire premise of what “comics” are all about. He has abandoned the history and the point of his chosen medium, that is, to impart a smile or chuckle or make a point with humor and a light touch. Comedy or satire, accomplished in three or four panels with limited dialog and rudimentary illustration is what has defined the comics and what makes those who are successful in the medium talented and insightful. Batiuk is none of these things, but has rather chosen to subject readers to the excruciating pain that he has apparently felt from his own realization of his mortality.
Give us a break!
If you want to make a point about how tragic life can be, about how devastated you have been by an insidious disease, and about how we all, ultimately, die alone and unfulfilled, then write a damn book or go on Oprah or volunteer at a hospice, but for god’s sake stop subjecting me to it every morning.
Sincerely,
Krazy Kat
banana
September 18th, 2007 at 7:48 am [Reply]

ok, i’ve been reading this blog since the aldo incident last year, but never had the guts to comment until today.

a lifetime of reading mary worth has finally paid off. thank you, dawn weston! you’re my hero! next time i’m two-timed, a simple break-up won’t do. slapping: it’s the new ‘fuck off.’ (or maybe the old one?)
Krazy Kat
September 18th, 2007 at 7:50 am [Reply]

PS- Mary Worth continues to get more awesome everyday.
Wazoo
September 18th, 2007 at 7:54 am [Reply]

To his defense, Marty Moon is probably still out of his mind on the bad acid he took during last week’s tribal reawakening… er, “festivities.” He’s probably gotten every call wrong and is just babbling out stream-of-conciousness thought (which amounts to talk about football anyway in the world of Gil Thorp).
Razmytaz
September 18th, 2007 at 7:55 am [Reply]

And in Brewster Rockit, we see that the Divine O’F righteously called it. That has got to be an isopod in there.

And in other space pet news:
63: SSB – Not just a giant tribble… a giant color changing chameleon tribble. OK, since it doesn’t seem to be blending in with anything, a giant color blind chameleon tribble. Have a heart guy, even a GCBCT has to eat.
Eats Shoots And Leaves
September 18th, 2007 at 7:56 am [Reply]

MW: I love the last panel, but it’s a little bit Gil Thorpy. I’m assuming that’s Dawn’s hand smacking Drew, but from the odd angle it could almost be Drew’s hand. Perhaps she’s projecting anger and really it’s Drew who is holding up his hand in a futile attempt to ward off her pursed lip glower of death.
wanders
September 18th, 2007 at 7:58 am [Reply]

Dawn took decisive action without Mary’s Meddling?? If this keeps up, Mary Worth’s character will become merely a footnote in her own strip.

Now, as long as Vera gets her punches in, and the horses get in a few kicks. I can’t believe I’m actually satisfied with today’s events! That’s pretty sad.
McManx
September 18th, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

MW – Given the motion lines, Dawn’s blow obviously has severed Drew’s spine. With Vera already dispatched, there’s nothing left for Dawn to do but turn on those pesky horses who CHEATED ON HER with Drew and Vera. It’s equine mayhem, on the next episode of Mary Worth.

3-G – Judging from the quiver lines around Aristotle’s head, either he is slipping into the DTs or he’s experiencing his first erection in several years.

MT – Let’s see. Duck. Overflowing lake. Water might reach duck. Yep, that damn duck’s gonna be sorry she ever messed with us.

Pluggers – Isn’t rhino man taking a shit into his shower stall?

DM – Way to go Mr. Wilson. Shove that kid out the door. You know that kid is really a front for Dateline NBC.
Lake Eerie
September 18th, 2007 at 8:05 am [Reply]

#56 True Fable:
Let me guess – case in point – Mr. Boffo? Of all the Far Side ripoffs, this has the most appalling mixture of horrendous art and labored attempts at “humor” (insert Margo finger-quote)
Usually starting with “Another way to tell…” What do you mean ANOTHER? What were the others? And what is Mr. Boffo? That little white animal thing?
Dennis Jimenez
September 18th, 2007 at 8:08 am [Reply]

A3G – So that crank lab in Dallas wasn’t the American Dream you thought it would be, Ruby? Oh, and Perfesser – like the commercial says, no play for mister Graybeard!

FBoFW – Maybe – but I’m betting bi-polar.

MT – Can the fists of fury KO gawd! Stay tuned.

MW – Screw Izod – I want a Moy and Giella shirt.

RMMD – Let’s keep Niki’s expectations real, May. I see work as a professional in his future though – fluffing in the men’s room at the Minneapolis Airport might be a good fit.

FC – When you take in nourishment, it’s called eating. What’s it called when you let it out? Family Circus.
The Divine O’F
September 18th, 2007 at 8:17 am [Reply]

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE:

Yesterthread bats:[ World-class grovel. Way to go, gf!

Yesterthread Kate: That’s a-dor-eh (ble).

Yesterthread Ralph: Great captions! Thanks!

48 Dean Booth: BWAHAHA! I prefer Version 1 of the Drew Corey cataclysm.
Tara
September 18th, 2007 at 8:17 am [Reply]

Does Mary Worth get much better than this? Yesterday’s strip featured Fists O’ Fury Dawn, and today we’ve got Karate-Chopping Action Dawn, laying the smackdown on Dr. Drew. I can’t wait to see what happens to Mary when Dawn finds out she knew about Drew’s philandering… my bet is on a roundhouse kick to the head, a la Chuck Norris!
Little A.
September 18th, 2007 at 8:21 am [Reply]

Mark My Tail: You are correct, Josh! Who in his or her right mind would build a shopping center on the edge of a lake? No engineering studies?

If the lake does overflow, Mark and Flossy or Jellybean or whatever her name is and that young kid who looks as if he could some careful orthodontics as well as a child pyschiatrist will come floating down the swamp in a canoe and rescue Shirley (surely the stupidest name for a male duck) and his/her progeny who will have hatched just in time to hop in the canoe and float away to safety with Homer flotaing behind on a log. Following by the huge dog, swimming.
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 18th, 2007 at 8:25 am [Reply]

MW: Not bad form from Dawn. She’s almost got the Moe Method down. Next time she should try smacking Drew and Vera’s heads together and say, “You knuckleheads!”

A3G: It’s time for “Inappropriate Laughter with Aristotle.”

Phantom: One could argue that the graffiti shows the Phantom’s myth and mystery are spreading, which would be a good thing. But no, his stripey ass is gonna get all litigious with the little girl.

SSmith: Silas knows who the real rubes are.

MT: The evil CEO went out and hired famed cartoonist Robert Crumb as a public affairs consultant.

BB: Would an unsupervised group of civilians really be allowed to wander around a military base? Given Camp Swampy’s apparent strategic importance, they probably would.

Baldo: This week’s trip down memory lane has already proved educational. I had no idea Latinos in the early 40’s dressed like Han Solo.

GA: Fireball gets self-conscious and frantically covers his man-boobs.

Archie: The AJGLU3000 may know about school budgeting. The conversations of high school kids, on the other hand.

Marvin: You already know the word “exploits” and you feel superior to your parents? Hell, kid, you’re ready for grad school.
John C Fremont
September 18th, 2007 at 8:28 am [Reply]

A3G – The Professor’s head bobble says, “This pleases me.”

MT – “We are expected to have several inches of rain. And whiteness. Did I mention whiteness?”

MW – Wow, too much! This is not, however, on the level of Aldomania greatness but, much like The Professor, this pleases me. My head bobbles.

Phantom – Dude, seriously. Shirt. Wear it. Always.

RMMD – May, shut up, already! Look, I’m sorry about the effect that static electricity is having on your hair, but seriously. Shut up. And Rex – Geez, buddy, show some expression. Or at least, show some sign of intelligence. Crikey!

FW – Whatever…

JP – The hills are alive with the sound of music. And boobies. Ordinarily, boobies don’t produce a lot of sound, but Red’s just the kind of girl that can pull it off. So to speak.
Krazy Kat
September 18th, 2007 at 8:31 am [Reply]

When a Comic Strip turns Tragic
Dennis Jimenez
September 18th, 2007 at 8:33 am [Reply]

80 – JP – Sound of Music was the first thing that came into my head today, too.
Gabacho
September 18th, 2007 at 8:36 am [Reply]

MW – you know, Drew, this is really kind of Vera’s fault. You didn’t want to do the horseback riding but she insisted. So I hope she’s not gonna get all loud on you since it was her who caused it.
Rarely-Posts
September 18th, 2007 at 8:37 am [Reply]

#48. Dean Booth Brilliant as always!! Welcome back, must have refreshed your site 10 times a day in the last week and a half!
Treadwell
September 18th, 2007 at 8:38 am [Reply]

JP: “Last year she hired her own offshore research assistant!” Last year? Dude, in JP time that was five days ago, max. I think we finally have proof that the Parkers are traveling close to the speed of light, yet somehow can measure the time dilation outside of their sphere.

RMMD: The last we saw Nikki and his trashy mom, he was living with the Morgans and she was facing custody issues. The only way to fill this story gap is to suggest Nikki slipped quietly out of the house when the car blew up. Do I get my No-Prize?
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 18th, 2007 at 8:39 am [Reply]

#61, Lettuce,
I love that outline. It could be the start of Aaron Maguder’s glorious return to the funny pages.
Cornwhacker
September 18th, 2007 at 8:39 am [Reply]

Oh, glorious day in Mary Worth! This is up there with Aldo’s car crash, for sure. Bring Molly the Bear back to Lost Forest and we’ll be living the glory days of 2006 again.

Speaking of which, please oh please let this Raju reference in JP today be foreshadowing! He wanted “little Rajus” of his own, remember, and Red wants a family… so…
Dik-Dik Vendetta
September 18th, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]

Is it me, or does Professor Chinbeard in the 9/23/06 MW strip that Josh linked to look a whole lot like Professor Smooth Operator in today’s AG3?
Krazy Kat
September 18th, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]

MW-For the benefit of Dr. Drew “Playah” Corey I think it’s time to resurrect MAXIM Magazines list of 15 things never to say
When you’re arguing with the woman you love!

1.Don’t you have some laundry to do or something?
2.No, really, I was laughing about……this joke I heard one time
3.Ooh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off!
4.You’re just upset because your caboose is starting to spread.
5.Wait a minute, I get it…What time of the month is it?
6.Are you gonna cry? (force lip to quiver mockingly) Cry for your mommy?!
7.You sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
8.Sorry, I was just picturing you naked.
9.That reminds me, next time you go to the store, could you add “giant fucking cork” to the shopping list.
10.Whoa, time out, honey, Frasier’s back.
11.Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Bitch Flakes this morning.
12.Is there any way we could do this via e-mail?
13.Hey, baby–if I want a lecture about commitment, I can get one from my real wife.
14.I could so use a blow job right about now.
15.Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain’t loaded.
man behind the curtain
September 18th, 2007 at 8:45 am [Reply]

MW — Yet for some reason Vera finds this all very exciting. She’s always been attacted to a take-charge individual.

RMMD — Don’t waoory May. From all reports that Rex got from June about Niki’s equipment, Rex won’t be disappointed.
Sheilagh
September 18th, 2007 at 8:47 am [Reply]

You know, speaking of comic strips that look like they’ve been drawn by a pen in a monkey’s butt… I was recently on vacation and subjected to alien comics, and I found myself reading Tumbleweeds for the first time in, like, years. I HATE the art in that strip. Little, teeny, tiny, squinchy insect bodies with (apparently) huge amounts of detail that you CAN’T SEE in a strip that size… plus the ginormous oversized heads… plus I have NEVER been able to tell whether the dot on the pony’s head is his nostril or his eye… There’s a strip that should die a merciful death already.
Calico
September 18th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

MW – well, Drew should’ve said Vera is his sister or cousin – then Dawn would be all mushy and “Oh, I’m so sorry.”
But no, Drew will be the laughingstock of the Santa Royale hospital, with a huge red Tattoo of betrayal on his face for a week that screams PLAYAH!

I can relate to his Snap! moment as I was playing tennis Friday night against a school wall, just practicing smacking balls, when the separating sole on my cheapo sneakers got caught in the asphalt and Whammo! I went down on the left side of my face. 7 stitches to the inside of my mouth, a loose tooth, scratches to my face, and a bruised ego as the cherry on the sundae, and I’m feelin’ a little like Cory the Younger myself, or Lucy van Pelt on a Crabby Day.

At least I don’t have John Patterfoob as a dentist – phew…
Gabe
September 18th, 2007 at 8:53 am [Reply]

DEAR JOSH:

“RHINO MAN” HAS A NAME. CARL RHINOWSKI.

DAMMIT, I DEMAND ACCURATENESS FROM MY COMIC BLOGGING.
Ted
September 18th, 2007 at 8:53 am [Reply]

“either wanton violence or emotional despair.”

That’s not an “or”.
dimestore lipstick
September 18th, 2007 at 8:57 am [Reply]

#45, Inspector Dim–
Yeah, but in panel two, the almighty open palm of Dawn sez: “I got your paper right here, pal!”
Old Man Muffaroo [Old Man Kip W]
September 18th, 2007 at 8:58 am [Reply]

D’OH! – I’m sitting here like an idiot, posting to the previous thread. Like three times. All that bile, wasted. (While I’m at it, I’ll mention again my flickr photoset of two dozen 1940s “Out Our Way” panels, just in case there’s any interest out there for the classics. If anybody’s trying to read them and can’t, I’ll post individual links to the pictures on request.)
Buck Ripsnort
September 18th, 2007 at 8:59 am [Reply]

Either Drew has no neck joints at all, or Dawn’s slap merely grazed his nose. SELL it, man! SELL the slap!
Gabe
September 18th, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Buck: Are you suggesting that Drew’s gonna “Corey up” and wag his finger in Dawn’s face?
Lake Eerie
September 18th, 2007 at 9:01 am [Reply]

FW – So she’s a jinx, huh? Good idea to take her to see the dying woman. What could go wrong?
TDIET – What is Mrs. Barfbelly so pissed at her husband for? He didn’t create the diet. Perhaps it’s because of the crap you’ve been feeding him (and presumably yourself and child) all this time. And what would you expect marrying a Barfbelly? Lastly, who told you you have to cook for the guy?
MF – Yeah, whatever, it’s the Dems’ fault.
GF – I love this strip normally, and it’s cute for a one-off joke, but it’s going to be one of those weeks (as bearable as the one where Bucky kept saying “Booger,” and much more bearble than the week he pasted Satchel on top of PBS strips)
Lettuce
September 18th, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

#86: AFKAB: Thanks. There haven’t been nearly enough awkward racial dynamics in the comics since Magruder’s been gone. I’m sure once “Baldo” starts attending more MEChA meetings or when Lynn Johnston reruns the old “Shawna Marie Joins M.O.V.E.” strips it’ll return, but until then, the closest I have is imagining “Onion” stealing the Family Circus kids’ lunch money.
Calico
September 18th, 2007 at 9:03 am [Reply]

#48 – Dean – the MW Love Machine made me laugh out loud for the first time since Friday. So thanks!

FW – I see we can’t even have a nice moment with the new little one without portent of doom and gloom.

Welcome to Funkyland, kiddo. I’ll say a prayer for you.
True Fable
September 18th, 2007 at 9:06 am [Reply]

FW Just think of all the childhood trauma little Jinx is going to endure when her parents tell her why she was named Jinx, and she will go on to view herself as a bad person who causes misery in others.

She will fit in perfectly with the Funky Cancerbean world.

When Batiuk does his jump-ahead, she will be the new Goth Chick with Issues, best pals with Summer, the Girl with Traumas of her own. “I watched my mother waste away and found her dead one morning” will go perfectly with “It’s all my fault the world stinks.”
Old Man Muffaroo [Old Man Kip W]
September 18th, 2007 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Sheilagh @91 – Funny coincidence; I’ve been reading Tumbleweeds lately, and though it’s no longer as fresh as it was in the time of the first five paperbacks (which I re-read last week or so), it’s held up pretty well. True, the characters have a small repertoire of expressions, but they use timing and dialog to make the most of it — they’re kind of a Western Kabuki, in which every character represents the Platonic ideal of the western movie stereotype for their station in life.

I find it kind of endearing that there’s one artist out there who still puts detail in a strip (possibly an assistant — Jim Davis used to work for him, though I understand he’s doing something else now). I just wish he didn’t use that Selectric-style “Orator” type for the lettering.
sangwij
September 18th, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

FW: Perhaps the child will morph into this.
http://deniskitchen.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=S&Category_Code=bios.joe.btfsplk
Maughta
September 18th, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

OMG, Leicester, NC is only a few miles from me. I live in Pluggerville. How horrifying.
adoptive mother worth her salt
September 18th, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

FW – No adoptive parent worth their salt talks about working with an “Asian Adoption Agency” – China? Korea? Philipean? ~ no just that general black hole of orphans….Asia! So much for that child’s cultural identity!
ElSanto
September 18th, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

#106 — Um… was that last one supposed to be “Philipino?” (Sorry, I’m a Philipino myself, and that’s term threw me off a bit.)
ElSanto
September 18th, 2007 at 9:31 am [Reply]

9CL: To be honest, I always sorta figured that Thorax was a parody of the blowhards McEldowney would know in his artistic circles. So I don’t necessarily think he himself advocates any believes that Thorax puts out. I do agree, though, that he has Thorax get preachy and self-righteous to the point of annoyance, though, and even if that is the point, it doens’t necessarily make for good reading.
Cornwhacker
September 18th, 2007 at 9:39 am [Reply]

They really should’ve given Jinx a proper Asian name. Like Ming Ming.
cheech wizard
September 18th, 2007 at 9:45 am [Reply]

9CL – The strip is actually coherent today. Enjoy it while you can.

FW – You think your kid’s a jinx? Soon as mine showed up, I got cancer! You wanna try and top that?

A3G – After a year or so of Gina’s scrawny butt, the professor is excited by the prospect of a woman with some well-aged meat on her bones. He’s hoping to start off with a dry rub.

Phantom – The Ghost-who-talks is about to turn his crimefighting chops on graffitti artists in some central African ghetto. The girl won’t be doing any more tagging, but she’ll probably be thrilled to have her hero’s skullmark on her cheek as a totally cool tattoo.
Bootsy
September 18th, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

Dawn Weston has Man Hands.

And in Spider-Man, the only time I would need the Shocker is when I have something hot to take out of the oven. Other than that, these are the two lamest superhero and supervillain on the planet.
Old Man Muffaroo [Old Man Kip W]
September 18th, 2007 at 9:52 am [Reply]

Garfield – Who knew I’d be laughing at anything with Garfield in it today? Okay, it’s easier to understand when I tell you it’s a Something Awful Photoshop Contest. Be An Artist! Draw Garfield’s Sandwich! Or Not! (some NSFW)
StoutHearted
September 18th, 2007 at 9:52 am [Reply]

Dennis’s new “Dress like an elderly tourist” plan of menacing fails to foil his adversary and will send him down a shame spiral of fail once again. Maybe he should start ordering his menacing props from Acme instead of Walmart.
Bunnë
September 18th, 2007 at 9:57 am [Reply]

Sure they can build a shopping center over a lake. Hell, most of Mexico City used to be a lake, as well as chunks of Chicago.

Still, this smacks of a surprise plot device that would embarrass Agatha Christie. It’s as if the story is being made up by a 6-year-old. There’s a duck! And a lake! And a flood! Next surprise addition: giant robot. And the duck is a ninja.
Edgy DC
September 18th, 2007 at 10:01 am [Reply]

The most fascinating thing about that Aldomania Flashback is the revelation that Vera = Toby with her hair held tighter in the scrunchie.
Dingo
September 18th, 2007 at 10:02 am [Reply]

LB Steve Rosen? Steve Rosen? Not THE Steve Rosen of Milford? Milford’s Steve Rosen? Which is worse: the amount of names thrown at the audience in a Gil Thorp play-by-play or the fact that somewhere out there in the deepest recesses of Ohio is a solitary man who knows the names of every Thorp character and can picture this in his mind?
gh
September 18th, 2007 at 10:10 am [Reply]

Josh –

When I saw today’s Pluggers I glanced at the one I submitted hanging on the wall. It’s eerily similar, but mine was a bear. Not a copy, as the roll of back fat is different. I dare anyone to Google that sentence and come up with more than one hit.
Jamus The Bartender
September 18th, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

Okay…

61. COTW Lettuce, COTW !!!
62. He was paying attention to the game. I was also told in later years, Harry Caray would start out the first word of “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” during the seventh inning stretch, and let the spectators sing the rest of it…chiming in only occasionally.
89. Krazy Kat, lists like that are very insensitive,hurtful and misogynistic. I told Violet T Chihuahua about it when I was banging her like a screen door, and she agrees with me one hundred percent.
Which leads us to…
My Cage: That’s telling him, Violet. Don’t you let him get away with that “look crimes” stuff. Oh, you left your panties at my place. Wait, these aren’t yours…
Luann: When I was in high school, my best friend and I would sit quietly at the pep rallies with a blank expression on our faces while everyone else was cheering and yelling. It seemed pretty funny at the time.
gh
September 18th, 2007 at 10:16 am [Reply]

#15 A New Day –

I didn’t read the comments first. And the name is Spartacus.
John Robie
September 18th, 2007 at 10:24 am [Reply]

Re: Gil Thorpe – Has anyone ever noticed that Marty Moon has the same initials as Ming the Merciless? Just saying. That beard looks pretty supervillain-y…
NotThatGuy
September 18th, 2007 at 10:28 am [Reply]

MW: Note we’ve also got incredible growing horses again…they’ve sproinged to 17.5 hands as Dawn puts the smack on Drew. Or perhaps it is Drew who is shrinking in the face of Dawn’s righteous wrath; Vera’s horse seems to have remained regular-horse-sized, and Drew is now about Vera’s height, instead of comfortably taller.
Dingo
September 18th, 2007 at 10:33 am [Reply]

Not That Guy #121: Drew is a gentleman. He’s crouched so that Dawn can hit him on the face instead of his enormous, oversized phallus and tasticles (tasty + testicles = tasticles™).
schlimmerkerl
September 18th, 2007 at 10:34 am [Reply]

One of my favorite scenes in all the movies is when sleazy white-shoe law firm spy Charlotte Rampling slaps down-and-out drunk lawyer Paul Newman. He hauls off and punches her right in the snot-locker.

Women always think they can get away with the slapping thing. It’s nice to be reminded that they sometimes can’t.
Deborah
September 18th, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

None of Dawn’s body parts are connected to her other body parts. Drew’s face is possibly slapped, but not by Dawn’s hand, and not anywhere near the resounding and thrilling SLAP effect.

So I’m thinking, times are hard for cartoonists. This one probably has a day job. And poor lighting. And is scrawling away at Mary Worth after midnight, punchdrunk from exhaustion at the toothpaste factory, where he’s been yes, screwing the caps on the toothpaste tubes all day, and now his poor fingers can no longer remember how to draw anatomy, and he’s just so TIRED.

Ahem. Yes. Love the slap.
Dennis Jimenez
September 18th, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

113 – When I first read your comment, I thought wow, Dennis was wearing a dress today? That really is menacing to many in the red states. Way to go, Dennis/Denise! Then I noted my error (sigh).
Uncle Lumpy
September 18th, 2007 at 10:42 am [Reply]

#124 Deborah –

Mary Worth — Karen Moy was pushing to get her 2007 action panel to King Features before her October 1 performance review. She cut it a lot closer this year.
Carmichael the Polar Bear
September 18th, 2007 at 10:47 am [Reply]

#123 schlimmerkerl

Women always think they can get away with the slapping thing.

Paul Newman notwithstanding, The Tool Drew totally and completely deserved to be slapped. At the very least.
Allie Cat
September 18th, 2007 at 10:56 am [Reply]

MW – God, that was GREAT! I feel so much better. That wasn’t just a slap for Dawn, it was for any women who’s ever been cheated on. It was a slap of redemption, a slap for the poor, tired and huddled masses yearning to breathe free.

It was the slap heard ’round the world, and I am humbled that I was alive to read it first hand. I feel sorry for my future grandchildren, who will hear this story from me as I lay dying.
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 18th, 2007 at 11:06 am [Reply]

Oh man — where’s the pimp slap song when you need it? Someone please repost it from when Drew was pimp-slapping Dr. Whitey McWhitepants.
Jason
September 18th, 2007 at 11:06 am [Reply]

Does anyone else realize that Dawn has THREE arms in panel one?? I mean i know she is pretty bad-ass, but I didn’t know she was a Hindu God as well.
athena
September 18th, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

FW: You can’t just decide you want to adopt a child in the spring and come back with a Chinese daughter four months later. When we adopted, the waiting time was about nine months from sending in the dossier to China to heading over there to meet our daughter; it’s an even longer wait time now. And if the child is from Korea, she would have been brought here, rather than the adoptive parents heading over there (unless that’s changed in the past few years).

And calling the kid Jinx? Is that some sort of feeble Asian joke? Not to mention that they would have had to name the child prior to the adoption being completed.

This storyline is infuriating me more than any of the previous FW misfires–I guess because it hits home for me. I used to be an FW apologist, but now… first Foob lets me down, now Funky–I may have to resort to following Mandy and Scorer here in the UK (and if you’ve ever read the UK “comics”–I use the term loosely–you’ll know how desperate I’m becoming)
rich
September 18th, 2007 at 11:09 am [Reply]

85, Treadwell: I was wondering about that, too. It could be that Sam is saying “last year” because today’s strip takes place in January…January 1989, based on the hairdos and fashions they’ve shown us.
Brown-eyed Girl
September 18th, 2007 at 11:19 am [Reply]

48 Dean Booth. I laughed out loud at both your mash-ups. I’ve been awake less than and hour and you made me laugh out loud. What a great way to start the day.
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 18th, 2007 at 11:26 am [Reply]

SFx: I’m going to try my hand at the six differences.

1) Judging by their wide eyes, the family on the left is watching Nightmare on Elm Street, while the family on the right is watching hard-core porn interspersed with clips from Dateline.

2) In the panel on the left, the plate under the TV belongs to the little boy. In the panel on the right, it has been left there to appease the TV gods, so that the mother’s favorite soap opera characters might avenge themselves upon their evil twins and the next season’s sitcoms might be halfway decent.

3) In the panel on the left, the chicken has e.coli.

4) The peas on the left were frozen; the peas on the right were canned.

5) The couch on the left came in that color. The couch on the right got that way because the cat kept throwing up on it.

6) The potatoes in the left panel are GMOs, lab-modified to make them extra stinky.
Mel
September 18th, 2007 at 11:32 am [Reply]

Gil Thorp: Clearly Marty Moon has recognized the football players are being used as isopod host bodies and he has willed the press box to pitch forward and crush them. All the while, maintaining his soothing sports play-by-play. Unfortunately he has missed that bit about exoskeletons — valiant effort though.
cheech wizard
September 18th, 2007 at 11:35 am [Reply]

131- No, that’s their natural child. Or didn’t you know that every third baby is born Chinese?
benzo
September 18th, 2007 at 11:38 am [Reply]

FW: Don’t blame the kid. You’re in Funky Winkerbean for crying out loud! You’re lucky your plane didn’t crash. Into a giant mountain of caner.

Ziggy: Ha, ha! Seeing Ziggy suffer always lifts my spirits.
gh
September 18th, 2007 at 11:40 am [Reply]

#48 Dean Booth –

I honest to god laughed out loud at Dick Tracy, Heartless Bastard. My sinuses! I can breathe again!

#69 Wazoo –

He’s probably gotten every call wrong and is just babbling out stream-of-conciousness thought . . .

Most people don’t realize this but Marty Moon’s headset isn’t actually attached to anything for that very reason. It is hard enough for the folks in the stands to tell what is going on by watching the action, and his commentary just makes it worse. Things like “David ‘Jones’ Jones leans right and punts. It’s Milford 0-12 going into the dugout at the end of the second set of playdowns” just gives people a headache.

#81 Krazy Kat –

Thanks for the link. Now I know which section to skip today.

And in tomorrow’s MW — Dr. Drew tries to scurry away from a smirking Herr Dr. Mr. Good Humor Man who chirps, “So how did the date with Vera go? SLAP!”

(WT)DT —

Gretchen and her terrorists. Gretchen. And her terrorists. She really knows how to accessorize. Did she get those online, or do you have to go to the store? How come no one gets me anything nice?
Spotted HØrse
September 18th, 2007 at 11:43 am [Reply]

#48 Dean Booth: Awesome, dude. The second version of Drew makes me think of the sound that Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots made when their necks sprang.

(DT) GT: Panel 2 looks like my PeeChee folder, only with less adept action.
mav
September 18th, 2007 at 11:52 am [Reply]

“We’re thinking of calling her Jinx” is a joke. They’re not REALLY thinking of calling her Jinx, and Funky and dying wife aren’t REALLY expressing their approval of such an idea. It’s not much of a joke, and the appearance of a joke in FW is rather confusing, but its appearance in the last panel of a comic strip is a pretty good clue.
AhClem
September 18th, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

Those of us who are blessed to be alive in 2007 will always remember where we were and what we were doing when we first heard about The Slap.

It’s almost as earth-shaking as learning that Trader Joe’s has discontinued selling UFOs (a world-class disaster for chocoholics everywhere).
cheech wizard
September 18th, 2007 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

FW – Maybe that’s not a child, but an intricately carved figurine they stole out of a temple in Cambodia or somewhere. A more appropriate name might be “The Curse.”
rich
September 18th, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

140, mav — I’m thinkin’ it might not be a joke. At least they can use Jinx Falkenburg as an example.
Uncle Lumpy
September 18th, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

#140 mav –

They’re not REALLY thinking of calling her Jinx, and Funky and dying wife aren’t REALLY expressing their approval of such an idea.

You’re probably right. There must be other names that would cause the child even more pain and embarrassment.
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 18th, 2007 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

51 Big Sims — Nice Bizarro-parsing system. But what does the weird-ass bunny mean?
Kate
September 18th, 2007 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

You know what would have been wicked awesome? If Dawn had hit Drew across the face with a giant isopod. That’s what would have been wicked awesome.

No, they’re serious about calling her Jinx, because her arrival coincides with Lisa’s last days. The mobile above Jinx’s bed will spell out “You killed that girl’s mommy” as it tinklingly plays the Death March. Because this is FW.
RoboMax
September 18th, 2007 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

MW: It just occured to me that the ONLY way this storyline can end is if Dawn and Vera run off together. And then Mary can show up to espose the greatness and kindness of lesbians, while repeatedly kicking a bloody and beaten Drew in the nads.
Cheeky Wee Monkeys
September 18th, 2007 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

That board-stiff slap makes about as much sense as the lemon-yellow horse in the background.
Inspector Dim
September 18th, 2007 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

144 Uncle Lumpy: “Jinx’s” real name is either “Onion” or perhaps Mai Khan Xer.
cheech wizard
September 18th, 2007 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

MW – What do you bet this isn’t the only time Drew gets slapped this week? Next up, it’s Vera’s turn to get pissed off and coldcock him. Under the rules of the MaryWorthiverse, the cad must be deprived of the affections of both women, rather than the much more desirable, entertaining and stimulating outcome of a catfight.
Lake Eerie
September 18th, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

#123 schlimmerkerl:
In the Verdict, Rampling did not provoke Newman’s punch with a slap – I don’t even recall her splapping him in the film.
Newman slugged her because he found out she was sleeping with him as a spy for defense lawyer James Mason. And she was actually looking somewhat apologetic when he did it.
It’s really not as misogynistic as it sounds …
Sorry to go off topic folks!
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

Old Man Muffarroo (yesterthread): I’m not a “kid person” (ask my friends), but Sarah’s a sweetie. Looks like she has her own mind, too! Is there any reason for her response when she first saw your cat? Was it exciting for her, or had the ordeals of the trip home just gotten her fed up with everything, once and for all?

19. Jym: yeah! Let’s put those supercontinents in their place! China, feh! Korea, feh! Japan, double feh! Asia is good enough fer me!

39. colonial: is “Moy and Giella 9-18? any relation to “John 3:16″? (”And Jehovah smote the cheating man right in the chops.”)

48. Dean: Yay! You’ve got your snark back! Wow, just like Westworld! If only Drew was as hot as Yul Brynner!

63. SSB: the part of May is being played by Phyllis Diller. Ah-hah-ah-hah!
ellcee
September 18th, 2007 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Whose hand did Dawn use to slap Dr. Drew?

LC
WindJammer! A New FBOFW Story!
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Old Man Muffarroo (yesterthread): I’m not a “kid person” (ask my friends), but Sarah’s a sweetie. Looks like she has her own mind, too! Is there any reason for her response when she first saw your cat? Was it exciting for her, or had the ordeals of the trip home just gotten her fed up with everything, once and for all?

19. Jym: yeah! Let’s put those supercontinents in their place! China, feh! Korea, feh! Japan, double feh! Asia is good enough fer me!

39. colonial: is “Moy and Giella 9-18? any relation to “John 3:16″? (”And Jehovah smote the cheating man right in the chops.”)

48. Dean: Yay! You’ve got your snark back! Wow, just like Westworld! If only Drew was as hot as Yul Brynner!

63. SSB: the part of May is being played by Phyllis Diller. Ah-hah-ah-hah!
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

Old Man Muffarroo (yesterthread): I’m not a “kid person” (ask my friends), but Sarah’s a sweetie. Looks like she has her own mind, too! Is there any reason for her response when she first saw your cat? Was it exciting for her, or had the ordeals of the trip home just gotten her fed up with everything, once and for all?

19. Jym: yeah! Let’s put those supercontinents in their place! China, feh! Korea, feh! Japan, double feh! Asia is good enough fer me!

39. colonial: is “Moy and Giella 9-18? any relation to “John 3:16″? (”And Jehovah smote the cheating man right in the chops.”)

48. Dean: Yay! You’ve got your snark back! Wow, just like Westworld! If only Drew was as hot as Yul Brynner!

63. SSB: the part of May is being played by Phyllis Diller. Ah-hah-ah-hah!
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

Old Man Muffarroo (yesterthread): I’m not a “kid person” (ask my friends), but Sarah’s a sweetie. Looks like she has her own mind, too! Is there any reason for her response when she first saw your cat? Was it exciting for her, or had the ordeals of the trip home just gotten her fed up with everything, once and for all?
ellcee
September 18th, 2007 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

#150 — Maybe Vera and Dawn will pull a Liz an’ whatsername and start bashing Dr. Drew with frying pans. Or horseshoes.

LC
Windjammer! A new FBoFW Story!
gh
September 18th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

bats :[ –

A strong showing, but Herro! still holds the record.
djmagaro
September 18th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

I just realized that Gil Thorpe is not a comic representation of a high school athletics program. Rather, it’s a comic representation of a Kabuki play representing a high school athletics program. This explains the weird hair, the ugly mugs, and the awkward, ritualistic poses, the lack of perspective in the backgrounds, silly plots, and overwrought emotion.

(All of the above elements are evident in the now-classic Tyler head-bashing panel.)
smacky
September 18th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

Someone smack Bats’ computer. It’s skipping!
JamesinMaine
September 18th, 2007 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: That horse in the first frame is suspiciously interested in the human drama unfolding here. Upon closer examination, he may just be checking out Dawn’s proud college breasts. Am I going too far by suggesting the possibility that this horse would totally be into taking Dawn for a ride?
man behind the curtain
September 18th, 2007 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

#150 Cheech wizard — And this is just the beginning. Dawn is going to run home and tell Wilbur and he’s going to give Drew his best shot. Then Nary will hold an Aldo-like intervention in her apartment and the whole Charterstone crew can pummel him, culminating in Dr. Cory the Elder putting Dr. Cory the Younger over his knee and giving him a good spanking while a leather-clad Mistress Mary oversees the festiviteis, whip in hand.
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

I swear to Thorax, I have no idea what caused the multiple postings. (Wait…I’m BLAMING it on Throrax!). God, I am such a Luddite. (Oh, heck, smacky (160.) just cut to the chase and smack me!

80. John C Fremont: it might not be Aldomania *yet*, but the week is young…

92. Calico: good heavens! Get well soon! (I always knew that exercise fad was no good…)

102. True: with her “Asian” tendencies, Jinx will probably only vaguely remember this visit, and years later chalk it up as the time she saw Buddha lying in a bed.

131. athena: okay, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’m glad you brought it up. I’m sure Batuiuieieiok didn’t intend anything but a cheap laugh, but I saw Jinx and immediately thought of ‘chinks.’
Eats Shoots And Leaves
September 18th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

#159: That’s the best explanation for Gil Thorp, EVER!
commodorejohn
September 18th, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Well, the Dean Signal is apparently malfunctioning (gotta talk to Comissioner Gordon about that…) So I had to do it myself.

9CL – Okay, I actually like this resolution, because anyone stupid enough to change their life plans in response to a fat old man’s predictions of the end of the world deserves to be told off.

A3G – I’m trying to figure out how even the Coloring Monkeys could think a powder-blue-to-flesh-tone gradient would be a good choice for the background.

DT – This is just so unspeakably wrong. Wrong, wrong, WRONG.

FOOB – The concept of a good For Better Or For Worse is still mind-boggling to me, but it seems that such a thing really does exist.

FW – Putting aside the fact that there’s enough stupid novelty names floating around out there already, doesn’t she already freaking have a name? I mean, she’s clearly not a newborn – they’d have to have been calling her something.

Garfield – Garfield and Odie cast their eyes to the Jim Davis signature, imploring it to divinely protect them from Jon’s murderous wrath.

GA – Okay, how did this guy even get employed in the first place?

H&L – Memo to Dennis: Trixie is more menacing than you.

JP – Sam sounds like he’s trying to set Sophie up with Rusty. “She’s sensitive, intuitive, and brilliant, and did I mention she has a great personality?”

Luann – Look, will you quit plugging your damn musical already!? What next, a Home Shopping Network infomercial strip? “This all-new double LP can be yours for only $19.95!” Anybody who’s enough of a Luann fan to want to buy the soundtrack for a musical based on the strip already knows about it, and I sincerely doubt that casual readers are going to fork out $16 plus shipping just because one of the characters spends a strip reciting some of the inane lyrics.

MW – hahaha YES

OBH – There’s a joke in here about pregnancy and cars, but I ain’t touching it.

SM – I can’t believe this. Our “hero,” who is empowered with the proportionate strength and agility of a spider, plus entangling webbing he invented himself, is getting his ass handed to him by a guy dressed like an oven mitt who can produce strong vibrations. Is newspaper Peter Parker the lamest superhero ever, or what?
Spotted HØrse
September 18th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

#92 Calico: Yikes! That wall totally pwns you.
My condolences… get well soon!
Moss_Moses
September 18th, 2007 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

The slap heard round the world! This just goes to show what happens to those who rebuff Mary Worth’s advice and Drew is lucky he only got humilliated. He didn’t drive off a cliff or attempt a jump on the horsie and end up paralyzed.

What part of Wyoming is Lost Forest in where they are expecting several inches of rain? The whole state has been in a serious drought for years. The rain will only cause a duck rescue operation by Mark Trail. The construction of the skyscraper Mall o’ LoFo will have to wait.

Lynn Johnston’s mom is a bitch. That really explains a lot about her! I hardly recognize the youthful Granpa ChinNutz. Boxcar! He looked totally different before his chinticles descended in their chin sac.
Krazy Kat
September 18th, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

I Am so looking forward to the rest of the weeks Mary Worth. Wednesday Vera slaps Drew; Thursday Drew rides his horse to a liquor store; Friday Drew and horse plummet over cliff.
SmartPeopleOnIce
September 18th, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

A3G: I came east to help cousin Lu Ann, but I had selfish reasons too, Aristotle.

Yikes. I just realized the guy’s name really is “Aristotle.” I thought Ruby was just being sarcastic. You know, like: My life in Dallas wasn’t going so well, Einstein. I needed a change of scene, Copernicus. Maybe permanently, assface.

(sorry, ran out of smarty names. Had to go with plan B on that last one.)

MT: Er, has anyone pointed out that duck eggs only take like 30 days to hatch? By my calculations, Shirley pooped out the little buggers over a month ago (sorry, is “pooped out” the correct term? Anything reproductive-oriented gives me the heebie-jeebies).

Mr. Bigshot McSuspenderpuppies could take the boys out to lunch and the problem will probably have fixed itself by the third martini. But no. By the end of this, no doubt there’s gonna be a giant wooden badger involved (…well, now, me, you, and sideburns guy wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the badger, taking Homer by surprise!).
Cornwhacker
September 18th, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

91, 103, 165 — These seemingly unrelated comments reminded me of something I’ve never disclosed here before: when I was a teenager, I performed in a community theater production of Tumbleweeds: The Musical.

Before anyone asks, no, I didn’t play any of the established characters from the strip. I was basically just a plot device: one of a stagecoach full of schoolgirls stranded in Grimy Gulch, there to make Hildegard Hamhocker jealous.

The songs were actually pretty catchy. I still remember the words, for the most part.
Dennis Jimenez
September 18th, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

168 – Wouldn’t it be Dawn careening (ya gotta careen over a cliff, right) over the edge? Isn’t the MW rule, the love spurned get burned.
fizzy logic
September 18th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

SLAP!

Omigaw! That’s too good. I personally have never, to my knowledge, known any woman who has slapped a man, especially for a relatively workaday offense, but that’s just awesome. Shouldn’t slaps be reserved for your boyfriend sleeping with your mother after first selling your car to get drug money after freeloading off of you for the previous 6 months? No?

I can just hear Mary telling Dawn “Use your words, dear. Hitting doesn’t solve anything.” She should punch Vera too, just ’cause that sounds like it would be fun.
mom with no name
September 18th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

#66 Krazy Kat: I agree with you completely about FW. I’ve never commented on a blog before, but I’ve been wanting to rant about FW for a while. I made a chron.com comics page for myself several months ago, so I wouldn’t have to see FW anymore. It’s too depressing. There is enough death and sadness in real life – my mom died of cancer. I don’t want to see it in the funny pages. Showing a cancer struggle is one thing, but let people have some hope. Batiuk is an arrogant sadist. He says “I honestly don’t think readers know what they want. They think they know what they want. But what they really want is for me to give them a surprise every now and then.” He has said that most people approve of the storyline, and that it’s not that much of a downer! There is an email link at http://www.funkywinkerbean.com where people who feel like I do should enlighten him. I’ve seen sad stories in thecancerblog.com about people who have to prohibit their children from reading the funnies because their mom has cancer. Like Krazy Kat said, he should’ve just written the book.

Well, now I’d better go read MW again to cheer me up! Maybe I’ll pretend Dr. Drew is Tom Batiuk. SLAP!
Max Zook
September 18th, 2007 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Does anyone have an idea why Humorous Maximus hasn’t updated Steve Canyon since last week? There’s no email link on the HM website.

Could it have something to do with this?

I may be a tree-hugging peacenik hippie, but I needs me my Steve Canyon …
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 18th, 2007 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

169 SPOI: Maybe permanently, Pythagoras. Quit bobbling your head, Heisenberg. I mean it, assface.

Eventually, we all run out of smarty names.
Uncle Lumpy
September 18th, 2007 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

#173 Mom –

You said it! And I think most folks would love for Batiuk to give us a surprise every now and then — the occasional ray of light would be a treat after this grim, relentless, boring death march.
D'oh
September 18th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

169, 175 Quit cogitating Steinmetz….

Long time lurker, I just knew my first post would be a Simpsons reference.
Monster Jamz
September 18th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

i feel bad for Dennis. he was reaching out to Mr.Wilson trying to brighten his day with a little “island flavor” and he gets rushed out the door. really Mr.Wilson, what’s so damn important that you can’t give a little kid in a costume (trying to learn a foreign language no less) a little damn attention?! screw Mr.Wilson. and the football action in Gil Thorp is so awkward as to make me feel uncomfortable. it looks like #22 in the 2nd panel with the ball needs to be on a toilet or something.
willethompson
September 18th, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

#175 Gold-Digging Nanny and SPOI: Oh no we don’t!

What’s with the head shake, Newton! You’re such a bore, Bohr! Your head’s wobbling like a plum pudding, Thompson! I mean scumbag!
Shortpacked
September 18th, 2007 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

http://www.shortpacked.com/images/misc/maryworthgiganticarm.jpg

My word.
Bootsy
September 18th, 2007 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

Many people here have expressed that the reason Foob is now so loathed is because it used to be good, funny, pithy, touching, true to life.

I never found it to be so. I always thought it was white-bread bullshit. Elly has always been holier than thou, and the kids, whatever the age, were pinheaded little shits. John has always been a dimwitted non-entity. The “courageous” Lawrence coming out thing wasn’t anything of the sort. Neither was the near-assault on Liz. I know that happened more recently, since the strip supposedly got worse, but the Lawrence deal was in the (again supposedly) golden age good old days when it was good. I never found it to be realistic or true to life. While realism isn’t why I read the funnies, if you’re going to bill your strip as that, then be that.

I dislike the strip because it was never funny, and it has always been painfully predictable.

I don’t usally say much about the Foob, so I’m not piling on LJ, or her recent professional and personal issues.

Discuss!

But the revisionist history that it used to be good needs to be challenged.

Now, off to view the Phantom’s stripey ass!
ellcee
September 18th, 2007 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

#173–mom with no name

Sure, people approve of Batiuk’s story, the way Lynn Johnston is just INUNDATED with demands for “more Anthony!”

LC
kris
September 18th, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

wanders says:

September 18th, 2007 at 7:58 am
Dawn took decisive action without Mary’s Meddling?? If this keeps up, Mary Worth’s character will become merely a footnote in her own strip.

hey, maybe dawn IS the new mary!! i was so stoked when i saw dawn had bitch slapped (pimp slapped…whatever) drew! maybe she can go over to fw and slap batiuk around some……..
Little Guy
September 18th, 2007 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

Another Jinx (who happens to share a birthday with a certain character on GH)
DropDeadGorgias
September 18th, 2007 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

“Pluggers don’t care if those boxers is used. They still good.”
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

180. Shortpacked: multiple limbs! an elastic arm! helmet hair! karate-choppin’ action! Dawn’s a mutant, a veritable X-Man in training!
I almost feel sorry for poor Drew…just wait until Dawn’s weirdo friends show up for the “second phase” of his come-uppance!

182. ellcee: the more I think about it, maybe we ought to take Trilobite’s suggestion and write to our local newspapers (the ones that carry FW) and request that the strip be moved to the obituaries/death notices for the duration of this storyline. If they consider Doonesbury a hot political tamale worthy of the editorial section, FW should be placed accordingly.
willethompson
September 18th, 2007 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

#177 D’oh: It’s the only television show EVER to mention Steinmetz AND have Tom Kite as a voice-over in the same episode. Or series, for that matter.
SmartPeopleOnIce
September 18th, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

Gold-Digging Nanny, D’oh, willethompson:

Hey, looky, it works for FW as well:

You’ve got cancer, Oppenheimer.

or

You’ve got cancer, Feynman.

or

You’ve got cancer, Fermi.

or

You’ve got cancer, Curie.

(Hmm, this isn’t fun anymore…)
Vakar
September 18th, 2007 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

DtM: Hey, this is menacing. In the left panel, there’s a dark triangular thing on Dennis’ butt. A small, devilish tail, perhaps? Maybe Dennis has moved, at his Satanic father’s request, from menacing to fitting in with the rest of us, until one day, he’s in charge of the One-World Government. Oh yes, then we will see some menacing, indeed.
Uncle Lumpy
September 18th, 2007 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

#188 SPOI –

It’s not supposed to be fun!

Cancer knows better than we do.
kingklash
September 18th, 2007 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

Looks like Doc Two-timer got an upside the head from a random arm drifting through the scene. Or a pantomime of how a shark fin cuts across the water.

Meanwhile I want to see JP’s Red in Clovia’s swimsuit. Is that a bad thing?
Hungarian Great Bela Tarr
September 18th, 2007 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

I love the fact that the “punchline” of today’s Dennis the Menace strip is that Mr. Wilson correctly uses the word “aloha.” I see endless possibilities here.

MONDAY

Panel 1: Dennis (in sombrero): “Did you know that ‘adios’ is the Spanish word for ‘goodbye?’”

Panel 2: Mr. Wilson: “Adios.”

TUESDAY

Panel 1: Dennis (in beret): “Did you know that ‘au revoir’ is French for ‘goodbye?’”

Panel 2: Mr. Wilson: “Au revoir.”

WEDNESDAY

Panel 1: Dennis (in fur cap): “Did you know that there are thirteen letters in the Russian word for ‘hello?’”

Panel 2: Mr. Wilson (in sombrero): “Adios.”

THURSDAY

Panel 1: Dennis (in lederhosen): “Did you know that “Auf wiedersehen” is the German expression for “goodbye?”

Panel 2: Mr. Wilson (in Hitler ’stache): “Arbeit macht frei.”

FRIDAY

Panel 1: Dennis (in wooden sandals): “Did you know that the Japanese say ’sayonara’ for goodbye?”

Panel 2: Mr. Wilson (in full-on geisha makeup and silk kimono): “Auf wiedersehen.”

SATURDAY

In ostensible homage to Hungarian miserablist Bela Tarr, Mr. Wilson is depicted slumped over a bottle of bathtub gin. Garbage has collected on the floor. There is no caption.

SUNDAY

Bird’s-eye view of the street on which Dennis and Mr. Wilson live.

Mr. Wilson is seen calling from the front porch: “Auf wiedersehen!” Dennis is skipping up the front steps of his house, where his father waits, tapping his watch impatiently. Dennis’s talk-bubble says, “I came straight home!” But the dotted line behind Dennis suggests otherwise; it loops all around, jumping through birdbaths and climbing trees and fences. This conclusion is inescapable: Dennis has lied to his father.
Remus Leigh
September 18th, 2007 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

I just got correspondence from Scaduto!
I just got correspondence from Scaduto!

I mean, I’m not guaranteed yet, but I’m close. My last suggestion he shut me down on, turned out he’d done it the November before. But this one is in the works!!!!! Scaduto is THINKING about sing my idea. Hell yeah. Just had to share.
gh
September 18th, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

#193 Remus Leigh –

Congrats! He’s doing a musical version?
Treadwell
September 18th, 2007 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

174: I needs me my Steve Canyon, too, and it’s gotta be the original! I hate to think that this vintage run was simply to garner interest in the revival. Don’t take it away, HM!
austin wags
September 18th, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

#128 Allie Cat –
I am humbled that I was alive to read it first hand.
Ah ha, I see what you did there.
gnome de blog
September 18th, 2007 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

176 Uncle Lumpy:
He gave us a week of Crazy Harry stealing his old locker door. That ought to be enough humor for 10 or 12 years.
BigTed
September 18th, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

“Apartment 3-G” seems to be trying to prove the adage that men get better-looking as they get older, but women don’t. Aristotle’s white hair and beard make him seem dapper and intellectual, while his crow’s feet merely make him out to be a man who smiles easily. Ruby, on the other hand, comes off as a Tennessee Williams-style former beauty who’s gone to seed, but is desperately trying to hang onto what’s left of her looks long enough to get far away from the disastrous situations she created in Dallas. The wacky green hair ribbons, which in her younger days would have seemed hip and quirky, now scream of mild insanity. In fact, you know she’ll still be dying her hair red, carefully making up her face and putting on that same outfit 30 years from now, in a last-ditch attempt to attract whatever man candy’s left in the old-folks’ home.
MrP
September 18th, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

Judging by the distance between Dawn’s shoulder and the arm slapping Drew, and the distance between HIS shoulder and the arm slapping him, there are only two possible things that could’ve happened:
1) Dawn is employing the “QUIT HITTING YOURSELF!” routine, by grabbing his arm and slapping his own face with it.
2) Drew is slapping himself. This is either simply in a fit of desperation, to avoid what’s likely to be a much more severe beating by the scorned women (since no doubt the good doctor’s blonde date is starting to realize that she, too, is being two-timed), or to wake himself up from what he believes is a wet dream gone bad. “Dammit, she was supposed to ask if the three of us could have sex! This lucid dreaming thing doesn’t work!”
Bootsy
September 18th, 2007 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

Ruby’s no Vivian Leigh. Course, Aistotle Papasgotabrandnewbagolis is not Brando either.
Krazy Kat
September 18th, 2007 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

#171 Dennis Jimenez
Re: going off a cliff
One can carren or plummet. Aldo careened because he was in a car. I think a horse would plummet. Dawn would careen because she would be very mad and in a hurry. Vera would probably dive.
Mountain Mama
September 18th, 2007 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

#198: BigTed: You nailed it! I bet her middle name’s Blanche and soon she’ll start drinking, and then: “Well, well, maybe just one little tiny nip more, sort of to put the stopper on, so to speak.” The Professor looks so happy because he’s gettin’ some tonight.
Mountain Mama
September 18th, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Bootsy! Great minds! I had to go to Google to get the dialogue I wanted.
under_score
September 18th, 2007 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

Bootsy, re:FOOB was never good. Word.

It may be because I am not Elly’s age, nor Liz’s nor Mike’s, but I’ve not ever been a big fan. I took a trip over to the FOOBsite and perused the Lovepocalypse synopsis they’ve got posted there and as far as I can tell, FOOB was always weak-punned an’ heavy-handed.

I do have a child roughly April’s age and I might have har-harred at some strips at the time when he was very small, but nothing sticks out in my mind. Certainly hardly anything April’s done recently is anything my kid would do. On the other hand, Zits is about killing me this week–Jeremy’s face this morning was a dead ringer for my son’s at parent’s night last night! LOL.
Elle
September 18th, 2007 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

DtM: Was he ever registering at all?
Helena Handbasket
September 18th, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

“Grief is the price we pay for love…”

Just a little uplifting thought from Batiuk, but if that’s his attitude towards the world it explains a lot abut CS and FW.
Helena Handbasket
September 18th, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

Gah! about
jonnya
September 18th, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Dawn is on a bona-fide rampage! Who can reel her in?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDMcDSFZcDs
Trotzenbonnie
September 18th, 2007 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

I’ve scrutinized all of the Mary Worth comments in the last two threads and, please, correct me if I’m wrong, but I appear to be the only fool concerned about the fact that Dr. Drew is holding the reins to A PALE HORSE!
If I were Dawn I’d be hightailing it out of there because she just bitch-slapped Death and Hell can’t be far behind.
Electro
September 18th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

Check back in six months when Jinx’s parent drop by widower Les’s house to happily announce that she’s just started smirking!

Oh, and in crossover country, Marty Moon = Aristotle.
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

208. jonnya: well done! a whole new spin on Rock, Paper, Scissors! (Slap, Skillet, Moustache?)
I’m going to check out your other other YouTube goodies…
nsr
September 18th, 2007 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

a3g- The Professor going “yea-yuh, yea-yuh!” like a demented bobblehead is droll. But if the next scene change is to Tommie and her date with the doctor or Gary or whatever, instead of our sweet, demure Margo in full attack mode, I’ll be disappointed.
VALIS
September 18th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

MW: When I saw Dawn’s slick fighting moves I was remembered of The Matrix. No wonder she’s upset Drew’s not “The One”
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

207. Helena: I just figure when Batuiuik finds himself out of a job when even his most diehard (heh, she said “die”!) CS and FW fans give up on him, he can apply for a job as Mary Worth’s ghost-writer. Those platitudes are truly Maryworthy!
Ukulele Ike
September 18th, 2007 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

MT: Okay, it’s going to rain for a while. And this is supposed to bother a duck? Hasn’t Elrod ever gone out on a rainy day and had someone say to him “Nice weather….FOR DUCKS!!”

Baldo: Oooo, I like these photorealism strips, too. They prove that Canti & Caballaros (is that really the names of the creators? The print’s too small for me to read properly) can actually draw. And that 1941 haircuts are STILL much cooler than that dustmop Baldo’s wearing on top of his head.
Mountain Mama
September 18th, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

I wish I could say today’s GA is funny, but it’s not, because I work with someone exactly like that. Maybe the old man will bitch slap him tomorrow and I can live vicariously through the comic strip. Did I just type that?
AhClem
September 18th, 2007 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

#208 jonnya -
Excellent! The flying pornstache is a very nice touch.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 18th, 2007 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

Dammit, someone already had my idea!

Mine was going to be:

When you pitch to your mate
Behind Yankee home plate
That’s a Jorge

My other feeble attempts are:

When a Canuck mensch or frau
Tells you Spanish for “now”
That’s “ahora”, eh?

and this next one is a little cheap and vulgar:

When a gal struts her stuff
And she rents out her muff
That’s a whore, eh?
commodorejohn
September 18th, 2007 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

#215 Ukulele Ike – Don’t you ever say dustmops aren’t cool again!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 18th, 2007 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

When you form crazy lines
Just by adding up sines
That’s a Fourier
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 18th, 2007 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

When that same Spanish guy
Tells you how to say “why?”
That’s a “porque”
AhClem
September 18th, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

When you work to unroll
A big parch-a-ment scroll
That’s a “Tor-ah”.

When you’re all in the mood
To go hunting for food
That’s a “foray”.

If you never get bored
Touring fjord after fjord
You’re in Norway!
Mooncattie
September 18th, 2007 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

#220, 221 Skullturf,

I’ve tried signing on to the ‘Mudge Meeting forum without success. No doubt there’s a very basic thing I’m forgetting, but passwords, e-mail addresses and names have all struck dirt, non-paying.
Anyhow, from a few threads back, I’m in the Toronto area and am definitely up for a North of the Border get-together. There’s a very comics-savvy but shy Lurker in my office who’d love to join in as well.
I really liked the Elephant & Castle location – as you say, it’s just across from the Lynn Johnston Star on the Canadian Walk of Fame! We can drink lots of good beer, then photograph the subsequent ~~Group Urination~~appropriate paying of respects for posterity on this site!

PS –
If you pay in Belleville
With a five-dollar bill
That’s a Laurier
Sorry, all.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 18th, 2007 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

Heh, my roommate just moved here from Belleville.

You can email me at idmercer “at” yorku “dot” ca.
evie oh oh
September 18th, 2007 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

MW: I’m sure someone has already asked this, but what did Dawn mean by “i believed in you?”. What did she believe in, exactly? Did she believe in Drew’s amazing uses of Dippity doo? His tremendous ability to ride horses that are disturbingly unnatural colors? Did she believe in his overwhelming lust for young girls? His love of conjoined kitten shirts?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 18th, 2007 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

CommodoreJohn @ 165: Why is Dawn holding the gun with the barrel under her hand? Is it a Space: 1999 stunner?
That\'s The Spirit
September 18th, 2007 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

“Themed costume + fascinating trivia item = levels of menace so low as to be undetectable by even the most powerful scientific instruments.”

Don’t be so hasty to throw around the word “fascinating,” there, Josh.
commodorejohn
September 18th, 2007 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

#226 The Spectacular Spider-Brick – An oversight on my part. I tried fixing it, but it just doesn’t look very cool, so I’m leaving it the way it is. Lord knows I’m not the first person to sacrifice realism for badassery.
Anonymous
September 18th, 2007 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

Skipping way ahead in the posts to comment, (catch-up is bear after working all night!)

#181 Bootsy –
Thank you, I’ve never had the courage to say that here, and now that you’re ‘out’ you have inspired me to say the same. FBOFW sucks, always has. The plot device of “aging in real time” was cute, but a one-trick-pony not capable of carrying the dead weight of all the scantimonious schlock that is FOOB.
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

#229 Was ME! There, I’ve said it, I’ve always hated FOOB and I want the world to know!
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

Where’s my SecretMargo with some perspective on this FOOB issue?
Harold
September 18th, 2007 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

So Lu Ann’s sassy Feeder cousin Ruby is actually an over-the-hill Poison Ivy? Or is she just celebrating Halloween a month and a half early?
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

Lyngeneering too?
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

Lyngeneering too?
benro
September 18th, 2007 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

#193 Remus – How long did it take Scaduto to respond to you? I sent a few ideas a couple of weeks ago and haven’t gotten any response (not even a “thanks for your idea”). They must have really sucked.
Squid Countess
September 18th, 2007 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

Thank you, Thank you, Loppie Scaduto for pointing out the squid mention in TDIET! It is my raison d’etre (literally: the raisin I ate yesterday) and I’m so afraid I’ll miss one. The 2007 squid count is *******7****** everyone.

Attention! Attention! Now accepting suggestions re: what Dawn’s slap of Dr Drew would sound like if they were characters in DT instead of MW:

QUAP!
FBISS!
SMINK!

Or in GT instead of MW:

FUGLY!
BALD!
KAZ!

Or in FW instead of MW:

MLGNT!
TRMNL!
CNCR!
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

Or Pluggers instead of MW
FAT!
LZY!
STUPD!
Godzooky
September 18th, 2007 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

Or Spider-Man:

LM!
TVWTCHG!
LZR!
Squid Countess
September 18th, 2007 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

#237 – Big Sims: (In my best Eric Cartman voice) -Um, that was good and everything, but first you were supposed to mention how funny my post was.
Dammit.
willethompson
September 18th, 2007 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

#208jonnya: BWA x 73HA! Dean Booth and Bats :[, (and for that matter, me!) look out. There’s a new sherriff in town!
Girl Reporter
September 18th, 2007 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

Last thread:

dale says: 205 Poteet – So now MarkTrail may come to us with “riparian entertainment.”

[pedant] littoral [/pedant]
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

#239 – Squid Countess,
It was hysterical milady. Worthy of a bowl of the finest Peach Ice Cream.
Lis
September 18th, 2007 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

I just want to know what has happened to that incredibly stylish collar she was wearing on Sunday. Perhaps she removed it so she won’t be encumbered by loose clothing as she goes in for the kill….
Poteet
September 18th, 2007 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

# 241 — Girl Reporter, you are of course correct. Right after I typed that “riparian” entry, I thought “dang, doesn’t ‘riparian’ only refer to land next to rivers and creeks?” And of course it does. Thanks for the correction. I’m mildly agog at your linguistic prowess.
Hammster
September 18th, 2007 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

MW: Hey! What happened to Dawn’s schoolgirl collar?
anonymous
September 18th, 2007 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan, M.D. – I just have to jump in here and point out that this is the THIRD DAY the skanky mom is telling the doc how much she hopes her kid isn’t going to “be a big disappointment” to him in their Big Brother doings. What is the POINT already? Are we being set up for something? Is she planning to move and take the kid away? If so, I would bet a week’s salary the kid is going to stay with the Morgans.
Squid Countess
September 18th, 2007 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

#208 Jonnya – Excellent! Thanks for that!

Crabby Genes – I wish to chit chat with you about Dave Barry Does Japan, which is also one of my favorite books. My new curmudgeon conversation e-mail address is squidcountess[at]gmail.com. I believe you are asleep. Feel free to contact me some time when you are awake. I just this minute opened the account and haven’t received any messages, so if anyone reading this would like to send me a message, that would be kind of exciting. I prefer that it not be about how to enlarge your penis while working at home as a secret shopper, but whatever.
Anonymous
September 18th, 2007 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

Still playing this game….

Plays a doctor named House
In whose nature to grouse,
That’s Hugh Laurie
Zamboni_Rodeo
September 18th, 2007 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

Drat it, Anonymous at 248 was me.
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

Zamboni_Rodeo!
Welcome back! Long time no see!
Same to you Dean Booth!
Barsidius
September 18th, 2007 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

Dawn’s slap is more than just a slap. It’s a revolution in biotechnology. Given the angle of her right forearm, it’s clear that she has detached it at the elbow and is swinging it, tennis-backhand style, with her left arm. The carnage has only started: Hell hath no fury like a child android scorned.

Also, in the “who the hell cares” department, Marty Moon’s non sequitur in the third panel of GT makes absolutely no sense. After picking up 13 yards on your first offensive play, you’d have another first down, not 3rd and 8. And where did “three first downs on the ground” come from?

More importantly, why do I want GT to make sense? I retract the last paragraph.
Dingo
September 18th, 2007 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

G’head. Y’know y’want t’do it. G’head.

Slap Dr. Drew
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

Inspired by Squid Countess, as we all should be from time to time, I too have opened a CC account for offline correspondence, it is; Bigsimsy @ gmail.com Drop me a line if you want to chat but not if you want to secretly shop from home for a larger penis while showing patriotic images in an e-mail chain which shan’t be broken on fear of dire threat of seven years of bad luck.
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

Dingo – That was a blast. But now my 3 year old wants to stay up all night slapping Dr. Drew. Please advise.
Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
September 18th, 2007 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

MW – That’s it Drew bob and weave!!! You’re a mean, greasy quick,,um, , waspy fightin ‘ machin – - Ah never mind… Ol’ drew may dispense prostate exams like mighty Zeus unleashes venegful lightning but as a pugilist he ranks somewhere between David Gest and Tickle-me Elmo.

His one tactical opportunity to avoid severe damage to his effeminate features is to run behind Vera and let her take the pulping while he makes a frenzied break for the car. Elsewise he may as well drop into a fetal position and shriek until help arrives, half anticipating the usual shamed look on his fathers face upon seeing his son having been pummeled by a berserk waif in a pink blouse.
Max Zook
September 18th, 2007 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

I’ve never bought Curmudgeon merchandise, but I want first dibs on the Dawn Weston Bitch-Slap tee.
willethompson
September 18th, 2007 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

Combining the ‘That’s Amore’ theme with #252 Dingo’s brilliant animation:

You know that it’s true,
it’s what you want to do…
slap Drew Corrrrrrryyyy!
Anna Nimity
September 18th, 2007 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

229.181. FOOB as schlock. Yep, yep, yep. But it’s schlock that I KEEP reading! O Why, why why? Rrrrrgh…

There is one Sunday FOOB, though, that sticks out in my mind as admirable. No kidding. It’s the one where Perfect Mom Elly is doing the recycling; washing out the cans and bottles, bundling up the paper… obviously it takes her all afternoon. She finally puts out the recycling, says, “Phew!” and heads out in the car. The last panel shows her driving into a downtown that’s filled with giant smokestacks, spewing clouds of muck into the air.

Was it just me, or did this border on actual POLITICAL commentary? In FOOB? The mind boggles. She seemed to be pointing out the irony/frustration that the everyday person experiences trying to help the environment. Yeah, spend all day doing your recycling, then drive into a city where giant corporations are spitting tons of crap into the air each minute of the day.

Does anyone else remember this one? Am I having a past-life memory?

Thanks Mudges!
Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
September 18th, 2007 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp –
Judging from panel two– It looks as though Coach Thorp is coaching his backfield to utilize the famed “Can Can”cutback as used by other storied programs across the country like the Juliard Fightin ‘ Flamencos. As long as #22 remembers his timing and to kick with the music he should be among the league leaders in rushing by seasons end..
Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
September 18th, 2007 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

252# LOL Too much!! I love the sound effect!!
Razmytaz
September 18th, 2007 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

257 willethomson – I’ve been having a ball with all the “Amore”isms since an innocent tagline triggered this creative outburst, but your two-fer really hits the snarkometer as well. Of course, with Dingo’s artistry as inspiration it isn’t that surprising.

I am in awe of you all…
The Avocado Avenger
September 18th, 2007 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

#258 – Yeah, I remember that… and I don’t remember Elly carpooling or driving a hybrid or anything. That is, I think Elly was contributing to the air pollution herself, despite recycling efforts, so it kind of muted the point. Just my opinion though, and my opinion should not be confused with fact.
willowbarcelona
September 18th, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

I beg the creators of all things Josh, please, please bring us a tee shirt of MW’s panel 1 with Dawn simulataneoulsy taking out Vera and Dr. Drew while the Doctor’s horse gazes knowingly, in the world weary way only an old mare in a public riding stable can, and dismisses the events before her with an, “Ah, yes, I’ve seen all this before.”

I can’t wait for Mary to tell Dr. Drew, “I told you so! You should have told that girl you were dumping her!” But would that be before or after Daddy Weston does enough damage to put Drew’s Dad, Mary’s Dr. Corey, in the hospital for another 8 months? Poor Dr. Corey may never be able to get on a plane to help another third world country again. Or ever again get away from Mary. Gee, thanks, son.
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

Oh yeah!
Welcome Banana!* Surrender your free time at the door. And yes, a slap is the old tried and true F**K OFF!

*and all the other new posters that rail against the injustice of FW and are more than mildly confused by GT.
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

258. This was a Sunday strip, probably back in July of this year (don’t ask why I know, I just do). Elly did get on a bus, so she was using public transportation.
Oh, yay, Saint Elly!
Spotted HØrse
September 18th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

#265 bats :[
I remember Elly getting on the bus, too. Which she did exactly once, just for the purposes of this single strip.

I mean, c’mon, when have we ever, ever, EVAH seen Foobs on the bus, eh? Whenwhenwhen?

NEVAH, that’s when. They’re Foobs, MELKARDAMMIT! Buy ‘em a Crevasse, and they’re golden.
Anna Nimity
September 18th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

265 Bats:[ That’s right! She got on the bus. Mmmm, so do you think there was any actual commentary snuck in there, or was it just to speed the canonizing (canonization?) of St. Elly the Perfect?
Spotted HØrse
September 18th, 2007 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

#266: Oh, and Shannon sightings on the yellow school bus don’t count. I’m talking public transport here. Hoooo.
Spotted HØrse
September 18th, 2007 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

#252 Dingo, #208 jonnya: Yowzah! Funny, funny stuff people! I salute you!
LTBF
September 18th, 2007 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

165-We adopted a 19 month old from Romania and legally changed his name after we got home with him. We even started vcalling him by his new name as soon as we got him.
Godzooky
September 18th, 2007 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

#258, #265, etc.: Bus-ridin’, recyclin’ Elly: May 27, 2007. At the time, that led some ‘Mudges to bring up garbage-dumpin’ John.
pseudonomous
September 18th, 2007 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

#208 and #252
It’s posts like these that make reading all all the comments worth reading!
LTBF
September 18th, 2007 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

I don’t read Mary worth, but I clicked on Josh’s link about Alod’s death anyway. I then was forced to see the sunday Foob of Liz and Paul’s mountain hike.

Thanks al ot, pal.
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

…best Dick Tracy old guy w/ chip ‘n package voice:
I want my SecretMargo.
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

…best Dick Tracy old guy w/ chip ‘n package voice:
I want my SecretMargo.
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

Drat my Comp-u-dore!
Big Sims
September 18th, 2007 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

M’Dear Squid Countess

the raisin I ate yesterday

HA! Love it. Just got it too, I’m sad.
Spotted HØrse
September 18th, 2007 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

#274, #275 Big Sims: It’s a chip ‘n package! We got two!
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

Not only is it hump day, it’s Talk Like a Pirate Day! Happy early Wednesday, folks! Now to the serious business:

FC: “No, Jeffy, you’ll have beautiful angel wings.”

MW: “Mister? Mister? Can I have the horse back?”
(Dawn is also stylin’…real blue jeans, not some weird-ass one-color-fits-all-horse-apple-brown ones!)

FOOB: shut. the. fark. up. Michael.
You should’ve been exposed at birth (but that goes for the whole Patterfoob line).
Niall
September 18th, 2007 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

Curious about something… One of the local papers (Ottawa Citizen) is not running the same Peanuts strip as the snoopy.com and Chron sites. Does anyone know if a choice is offered to papers? The Chron lists the comic as “Peanutsb“, interestingly enough.

The comics this week in the Citizen are so far two “Dear Pen Pal” strips with Charlie Brown’s horrid penmanship. The copyright date is 1994, and it also has the current running date. The ‘official’ strips are about National Dog Week and are from 1960.

What surprised me was Monday’s strip, which I don’t remember at all from its original run – but it may be a case of not having seen it more than once, coupled with a punchline that reads completely differently today. I’d put a photo of it, but I didn’t notice until today that it was different, and I saw it at my sister’s, not at home. Here’s a transcript:

PANEL 1
(Charlie Brown and Sally at table, CB writing letter in his atrocious blob-filled penmanship)
writing: “Dear PenPal”

PANEL 2
Sally: Why do you want to write to someone in another country you don’t even know?

PANEL 3
Charlie Brown: “It helps to promote culturtal understanding.”

PANEL 4
writing: “How are you”
Sally: “When they see writing like that, they’ll want to attack us..”

It definitely rings differently today, doesn’t it?

(Sorry for the tardiness of all this, but I’ve been busy enough at work to not be able to even read the chron comics, or any replies here until tonight… then there was a lot of catch-up to see if anyone else mentioned this.)
Uncle Lumpy
September 18th, 2007 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

Yar!
Jamus The Bartender
September 18th, 2007 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

Dingo: I LOVE “Slappin’ Dr. Drew” . I’d do it myself if I were more computer literate, anyway, can you make one of Cassandra Cat or the My Cage ladies slapping hell out of yours truly? Feel free to use my Yahoo picture.
Hysterical Woman
September 18th, 2007 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

192: Funny stuff.

FOOB: You have to have children before your mother treats you with respect. Jeez, I think Bootsy’s right.
Archie: School buses cost more than sports cars?
MF: Soon, Tinsley will be caught “toe-tapping”.
Helena Handbasket
September 18th, 2007 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

Aw, man, the MW denoument was quick and easy instead of slappin’ and sleazy!

What, no return slap from Vera, no outcry of distress and betrayal?!

Sigh, now all we have left to look forward to is a week and a half of Mary’s, “I told you so,” meddlegasm.
bats :[
September 18th, 2007 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

284. Helena: well, it was fun and exhilarating while it lasted.
There’s always the possibility of cut brakelines…
Helena Handbasket
September 19th, 2007 at 12:01 am [Reply]

Bats :[ I sure hope so, because it isn’t often that someone goes from face-slapping fury to calm, “talk to the hand,” walkaway within a couple seconds. Maybe Dawn is just saving up her righteous anger to justify her later killing spree.
jiggscasey
September 19th, 2007 at 12:12 am [Reply]

I love how Mary worth allowed Dawn to change her shirt. In her world a new day to her allows costume changes even if the characters have only progressed 15 seconds.

http://timsuto.com/
jiggscasey
September 19th, 2007 at 12:12 am [Reply]

I love how Mary worth allowed Dawn to change her shirt. In her world a new day to her allows costume changes even if the characters have only progressed 15 seconds.

http://timsuto.com/
dale
September 19th, 2007 at 12:15 am [Reply]

241, 244 Girl Reporter, Poteet – riparian

I was thinking of a Keeping Up Appearances episode where the term was part of the invitation to the unfortunates.
mumbles
September 19th, 2007 at 12:20 am [Reply]

MW: This scene is gathering an audience of looky-loos! I love it! The guy from “Eton Es” in the last panel is all, “Damn, you’ve just been poned, Dr. Corey!”

FW: Since this is Funky Winkerbean, and everything is tragic, we’ll learn that Linda’s maiden name is “Belichick” and these tapes were mysteriously procured by Uncle Bill.

JP: Why is “what is your wife like” and “really good question”? Had he ever put any thought into that?

GT: I’m having a hard time following this storyline. No evil mothers thwarting their son’s dreams. No golf grifters. No rock-and-roll Carole Kings. No wacky misunderstandings leading to mass head-shavings. Just….sports.
Uncle Lumpy
September 19th, 2007 at 12:22 am [Reply]

MW — Let’s not forget Vera’s “I’m glad we drove separately ’cause my car needs a tuneup” schtick. I’m lookin’ for Drew-spurnage from the Vera side of the house Thursday and Friday, and a lonely drive home for a certain playa on Saturday.

Then Mary can be all up in his face like, “Oh no you dit’n when I tole you so!” And then Drew can go all like, “Oh you so right I suck!”

Poor guy has no hoooome!
Poteet
September 19th, 2007 at 12:22 am [Reply]

# 289 — dale, glad you showed up! I was going to thank you and do a big BWAHAHA, being a major Hyacinth fan (in the sense of liking her show, not her:-), but I wasn’t sure you’d check the yesterthread. Of course in real life she’d be murdered in short order by outraged victims, but of course so would Mary Worth. That’s why fiction is so wonderful:-).
Dingo
September 19th, 2007 at 12:23 am [Reply]

Ah, an evening of riparian delights. I wonder how many Charterstonians have been invited to a Mary Worth candlelit supper on her Royal Dolton china. hehehe
Poteet
September 19th, 2007 at 12:30 am [Reply]

Steve Canyon Deprivation Ordeal, Day Four. I’m hallucinating wasp-waisted women with unlikely makeup and blond strong-jawed heroic men who prefer their airplanes to the wasp-waisted women. Steve, I need you. Arrrgh, Humorous Maximus, please never ever do this to me again.
Helena Handbasket
September 19th, 2007 at 12:31 am [Reply]

A3G: Nora implies that Tim amd Eric were incestuous lovers. Eric wisely refuses to comment, but Nora knows the truth. Let’s face it, Margo is out of the picture because she’s not going to allow any many of hers to be out on the down-low.

GF: Nice that this set of strips is right after he was censored. Wonder if Darby figured that would happen and planned ahead or if it’s just a great coincidence?

Phantom: “This time, thousands of morning commuters will feel threatened!” Wait, Mawitaan has thousands of communters?

RMMD: Oh they aren’t even trying to hold back the gay subtext at this point. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s domtext by now.
Helena Handbasket
September 19th, 2007 at 12:34 am [Reply]

Ooo, typo-fest 2007 in my last comment! Sorry folks.
Uncle Lumpy
September 19th, 2007 at 12:36 am [Reply]

#294 Poteet –

I’ll talk airplanes in monosyllables if you’ll cinch yourself blue — together, we can make it through this.
Poteet
September 19th, 2007 at 12:44 am [Reply]

# 297 — Thanks, Uncle Lumpy — it’s a deal. It’s good to know you understand. *sniff*
Crankenstank
September 19th, 2007 at 12:54 am [Reply]

What I want to know about Gil Thorp is…when did the high school get Dobie Gillis as their play by play man?!?
Helena Handbasket
September 19th, 2007 at 1:00 am [Reply]

Repost to correct the typos from #295

A3G: Nora implies that Tim and Eric were incestuous lovers. Eric wisely refuses to comment, but Nora knows the truth. Let’s face it, Margo is out of the picture because she’s not going to allow any man of hers to be out on the down-low.

GF: Nice that this set of strips is right after he was censored. Wonder if Darby figured that would happen and planned ahead or if it’s just a great coincidence?

Phantom: “This time, thousands of morning commuters will feel threatened!” Wait, Mawitaan has thousands of commuters?

RMMD: Oh they aren’t even trying to hold back the gay subtext at this point. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s domtext by now.
lissaBT
September 19th, 2007 at 1:12 am [Reply]

It is the cruelest of fates that the LA Times doesn’t run Mary Worth.
Curmudgeon, i want to see play-by-juicy-play coverage!

We also don’t get Gil Thorp. When DID Coach Kaz start wearing those pearl earings? And WHY? I make art for a living, and there is no way that they are simply a…. stylistic mistake.
Frank Parsnip
September 19th, 2007 at 1:23 am [Reply]

Jugs Parker: Busty smiles at hearing “best friend” — it’s not like Sam is describing his wife as “hot lover”. Too bad for Busty that Sam always describes women in passion-neutral means.

A3G: Eric does a brilliant job of answering a question without officially doing so. Right out of the “Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies…” school of how to get through an interrogation. Too bad for him that Nora has hot BBQ grill tools within easy grasping distance. One more “I’m rubber, you’re glue; whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you” and Tim is going to be dead meat.

MW: Looks like this is heading into one of those computer-geek axioms about how if you try to run “girlfriend 2.0 at the same time as girlfriend 1.0″ if they discover the presence of the other both will then “un-install”. Will the writers include this as one of their cutesy sayings in quotation marks? I think not.

GT: “We’ll make them pay…” yeah, like only if they bet on the wrong side of the spread and thought Milford would do well. Oakwood is going to eat, chew and excrete the Mudlarks today.

MT: This duck story is affecting people across the nation up to a point. Get them another homophobic Republican sucking cock in a bathroom and they’ll forget all about him. They’ll only get back to the story of “Shirley” around the time that ~~Thorax~~ Dick Cheney visits Lost Forest and shoots Homer in the face.

DT: Again, the key problem is when you have helicopters flying right above and below each other, there’s a tendency for the one below to suck out the lift provided by the rotors of the one above. Normally the big CIA helicopter should have smacked down on top of the other copter. With all the resources of the U.S. available, they couldn’t have simply followed the other copter to its destination (or until it ran out of fuel)?

Fucky Cancerbrain: Actually, I hope Bull and Linda will take over from Marty Moon, whose apparent narcolepsy is hurting his ability to call Milford games.

RMMD: Rex Morgan’s going to start up Niki’s “education” straightaway… and don’t think for a second that they’re not both going to gain from it. Niki gets to become a class-A man-whore apprentice, able to satisfy the epicurean tastes of a creep like Rex Morgan… and Rex Morgan will finally get to replicate the times he and Gary Glitter used to have when they were running loose in Southeast Asian orphanages. In about 10 more days worth of panels, May and Rex may actually finish their negotiation over the body and soul of this poor kid, but I frankly hope that we will be spared all of this with a lengthy sequence of June Morgan bathing panels.
True Fable
September 19th, 2007 at 1:31 am [Reply]

H&L The Incredible Shrinking Children. I mean jeeuz, folks, this is stupid; of course comic children are drawn a little smaller to indicate youth, but these pipsqueaks are the size of three year olds, and Trixie is newborn size! What, did he love drawing those cabinets so much he couldn’t bear to have them covered up by his characters?
MT Ha, big lie! If this duck story was known all over the country, it’s probably because it was on Countdown with Keith Olbermann’s Oddball segment.
BigDog He doesn’t do leftovers, but he does do garbage, people food, and Mrs. Winslow.
MW “Tell it to the hand!”
PBS GOAT! Pastis is my hero! and oh boy, TELL me about big bags of guilt. My mother was a sweetheart and a saint, but she could hit you with a guilt trip just by looking at you with her sad brown eyes. Yes, this strip works double today for the Fable.
Phantom Let me get this right: No one in the city, no police patrols or anyone, stopped this kid while she floated in mid-air to reach high enough to draw his face on that has-to-be-taller-than-four-feet-high billboard? Guess that sort of thing happens all the time at night in Marizipan or whereever it is.
RMMD That’s a lie in panel one, Rex Morgan! You’re a doctor who plays with people’s lives every time you show up for your alloted five minutes a day at the hospital.
SFx I didn’t check the true or false, I must confess. I was too busy whooping at the cat’s expression and the buggy squirrel eyes. I swear, his little details really make this strip as enjoyable as it is. That, and Cassandra. And Slylock’s perpetually stoned glazed stare.
S-M Three panels a day to tell an action story obviously does not serve the reader well at all, as today’s strip proves. “Hey, Maria! Let’s turn around and step over a couple of feet so you can see the fight between superhero/villains that we couldn’t see only seconds ago – uggh! I am being vibrated; who knew that could happen?”
FBoFW Sssh! If all Lynn is going to do is put fresh zipatone and shading on her old strips, let’s count ourselves lucky and tiptoe on past the old girl. As long as the glurge doesn’t rear its ugly head, it’s not so bad.
FC Love and Wings? Love and Wings?
Don’t bogart that joint, Bil. Pass it over to me. WTF else could it be, that would make you say parents give children love and wings?
In that case I got a really lousy deal for my kids. Every time Galevav jumped off the arm of the couch playing Superman, he could have used wings and played Archangel instead. If only I had known about Love and Wings!
True Fable
September 19th, 2007 at 1:37 am [Reply]

# 302 Frank Parsnip – in regards to (WT)DT, I’m surprised Dick didn’t pull a Law’s Rocket out of his suit jacket and blast the hell out of the other chopper.

Dick’s gone soft. Heh. Bet that pisses Tess off big time.

And, does Sam Driver even know what a hot lover is, that doesn’t include Pizza Hut pizzas>? :-)
True Fable
September 19th, 2007 at 1:49 am [Reply]

C’haft There’s nothing more disturbing than to witness Ed Crankshaft fingering his balls. I don’t care if they have dimples, it’s just not right.
Baldo Oooh, he’s doing that Realistic Style again. I have waited patiently ever since Tia Whosis had her fling with the kumquat man, for a return to this style. I really like it, no joke.
BB Wednesday is Buxley Day!

Arrrr! Today be Talk like a Pirate Day, matey!!
ARRRR, there be whales here! I mean, Cathy Must Die!
True Fable
September 19th, 2007 at 2:02 am [Reply]

A3G It’s hard for me to work up any kind of concern for Tim or Eric, when I don’t even know why Tim was in China or what he was doing that was so dangerous, much less worry whether or not Eric had anything to do with it.

Does anyone know what his story is? Did they ever say or is A3G just letting us fill in the blanks? They should know better than that. Right now I’m thinking Tim and Eric ran a male prostitute ring out of a side street just off Tianamin Square, and the journal is Tim’s ledger.
True Fable
September 19th, 2007 at 2:05 am [Reply]

9CL Let me be among the first to say it: Thorax, take your own advice.
Jack Parsons
September 19th, 2007 at 2:44 am [Reply]

9/18 Pluggers: Pluggers are not quite sure how pregnancy works. Also the rhinos live in deathly fear of being poached for their horns.

9/17 Pluggers: I love swiping pens at my doctor for delicate complaints: Viagra and Flomax. Next I want Oxycontin.
Jack Parsons
September 19th, 2007 at 2:48 am [Reply]

301: Good lord, the entire strip is a stylistic mistake. And an offence to the Art God.
Frank Parsnip
September 19th, 2007 at 3:30 am [Reply]

TrueFable (304) — Back in the 1960s, Dick Tracy essentially had magmacannons at his disposal in the days when the FBI’s jurisdiction was being expanded to include the frickin’ moon. Now he’s down to tossing chairs out the door of a helicopter?

To make the scene all the more ludicrous, DT might as well have Grandpa Potts hanging below in a port-a-potty singing “Oh the posh posh traveling life, the traveling life for me… “
Frank Parsnip
September 19th, 2007 at 4:23 am [Reply]

Mariko (30) — Somehow those old cartoons showing Popeye sending a stars-and-stripes fist through Hitler, Tojo and Mussolini just don’t get shown on TV to the kids of today. No sense polluting up their minds with the buck-toothed nearsighted racist caricatures of that war.

As a sidenote, there’s a strange spectrum in how the war is characterized in Japan. When I go to Japan’s museum next to the Yasukuni Shrine, they seem to have a free pass on how they characterize the war in the most jingoistic terms — the Chinese are savages who deserved what they got in Nanjing (if anything happened there… half the books in the shop declare it’s a hoax perptrated apparently by time-travellers who used photoshop to make fake pictures that were then inserted into Japanese soldiers’ pockets and published in Japanese newspapers), the Thai-Burma Death Railway is a glowing example of pan-Asian cooperation, etc. Hiroshima, a city that basically served as an enormous military camp for decades before the war (most of the downtown was an enormous military base centered around the Carp Castle), displays the A-bomb attack as something that essentially only killed women and children and which somehow just sorta “happened” with no background why we all got to that day. It’s only in Nagasaki, the Japanese city with centuries of interaction with the West (via the Portuguese, Dutch and then the numerous Brits, Americans, Chinese, etc. that settled there) that their A-bomb museum puts the war into some sort of perspective — i.e., the growing militarism of Japan, the treatment of the Koreans as forced labor within the city, etc.

With the resurgence of Yamato battleship-related branding featuring Japanese battle flags (on food), etc., it’s interesting to see the whitewashing going on. Add in that Kure (Hiroshima bedroom community and home shipyard to the sunken Yamato) is home to the only enormous battleship-related museum I’ve ever seen that is dedicated to a ship specifically not docked there for visitors.
Scherzo
September 19th, 2007 at 5:54 am [Reply]

#310-Frank Parsnip :

To make the scene all the more ludicrous, DT might as well have Grandpa Potts hanging below in a port-a-potty singing “Oh the posh posh traveling life, the traveling life for me…”

What a great place you run here Josh! The depth and breath of the literary allusions — yesterday Frank Herbert’s Dune and today the movie Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang!

Oh no.

Songs form the soundtrack are already running around in my head.

“…the bon-bon you blow on at last has arrived…”

“You’re my little chu-chi face…”

“…better never bother with me ol’ bam’boo…”

“…and Chitty, in Chitty,
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,
what we’ll do…”

There’s only one thing for it.

Yaaaaaaaaar! Avast — ye flyin’ car! Run ‘em out lads!
Full broadside as she comes around!
It be Talk Like a Pirate Day!
John C Fremont
September 19th, 2007 at 6:02 am [Reply]

Not even Funky Winkerbean or For Better Or For Worse can ruin my mood today. Yesterday was the US release date for the new Rammstein (which is freakin’ awesome!) and today I learn that my Cassandra Cat and Aldo shirts (Cassandra Cat and Aldo, Saturday mornings on ABC!) arrived in Omaha around 2:30 this morning, and should be here TODAY! Hee, hee, hee! I’m giddy as a school girl! Or is that giddy as a drunken man. Damn you, Dickens! Anyway…

MT – Who’s that in the background behind Mark? It can’t be Cherry, because she not only looks human, but actually has a certain sex appeal. Mark, are you whoring around?

MW – “Healer” of hearts, breaker of mine? No, no, that’s “Breaker, breaker, this here’s McCall.” (More information about C.W. McCall can probably be found somewhere.) Or maybe she was trying to reference Breaker Morant and just blew it. Maybe she’s just confused because her Cassandra Cat shirt is on its way. (Hee-hee!)

Fan-dom – That girl must keep her grappling hooks, ropes and pullies in her backpack. Her billboard would attract a lot more attention if it FEATURED CASSANDRA CAT!

9CL – Crap, Thorax actually makes sense today, dammit!

JP – Rusty unbuttoned her shirt a little since yesterday. About time! Wait, are those velcro shoes? Quick, Sam, run to Trudi! There’s a girl who can tie her own shoes, if you know what I mean. That is, if you catch my drift. If you can pick up what I’m laying down. (More information on catch phrases can be found…)
Scherzo
September 19th, 2007 at 6:16 am [Reply]

#313

“Healer” of hearts, breaker of mine? No, no, that’s “Breaker, breaker, this here’s McCall.” (More information about C.W. McCall can probably be found somewhere.)

OH GREAT!
The Sherman Bros. are gone, but now THAT’S going to be stuck in my head…

“Breaker, breaker, one-nine
Looks like we got us a convoy.>/i>
Convoy…”

(Did you know that C.W McCall is actually Chip Davis of Mannheim Steamroller?)
Scherzo
September 19th, 2007 at 6:17 am [Reply]

Durn HTML.
Sorry about that.
Yar.
willethompson
September 19th, 2007 at 6:39 am [Reply]

FC: “Grandma said parents should give their children love…and wings!”

Wings? HOT Buffalo Wings?? Is Grandma some sort of culinary sadist who wants to see the faces burnt off these adorable football-headed tykes? Is she giggling like a Mayfair strumpet as Little Billy bites down on a drumette laced with a glowing carmine sauce laden with cayenne and essence of habeñero, waiting for him to make a sound like a rabid trombone and stuff his flaming maw with dry ice washed down with liquid nitrogen just to take the edge off the pain? And, Melkardammit, think of the cholesterol!!!

Grandma Keane, you are one sick, sick member of AARP.
smacky
September 19th, 2007 at 6:47 am [Reply]

DT: I’d like someone to show me where in DC you can crash a helicopter and not hit a monument or a crowd of commuters. The National Mall is now completely littered with monuments. They’ll probably just bronze the helicopter wreckage and make it a monument to veterans of Grenada.
Inspector Dim
September 19th, 2007 at 7:07 am [Reply]

Next week’s Mary Worth damn well better involve an angry, slappy confrontation between Dawn and Vera in the hallways of Charterstone.
Girl Reporter
September 19th, 2007 at 7:16 am [Reply]

#244 Poteet says: # 241 — Girl Reporter, you are of course correct. Right after I typed that “riparian” entry, I thought “dang, doesn’t ‘riparian’ only refer to land next to rivers and creeks?” And of course it does. Thanks for the correction. I’m mildly agog at your linguistic prowess

Aww, twern’t nuthin’. Just fresh knowledge from taking a real estate license exam in February. (Plus, I’m a big fat showoff.) The mnemonic device was rrrriver riparian llllittoral lake.
AhClem
September 19th, 2007 at 7:18 am [Reply]

RMMD – “Rex, I really appreciate you taking the time and effort to enroll Niki in that elite boys’ school. Where is NAMBLA Academy, anyway? Do they have a football team?”
dimestore lipstick
September 19th, 2007 at 7:19 am [Reply]

Ooh, this is fun.

When two ex-teen star friends
Into madness descend
…That’s the Corys!
Whippersnapper
September 19th, 2007 at 7:23 am [Reply]

Foob: This might be cute had Michael’s attitude ever changed. But we all know that 30 years later, he still regards everyone around him as existing solely for his amusement and/or glorification.

Is it just me, or can you see a little twinkle of despair in baby Elizabeth’s eyes? Elly has probably already set her up on playdates with Granthony, which has given little Elizabeth a glimpse into her horrifying future.

MW: Dawn, don’t leave! I was hoping for more slapping!
Girl Reporter
September 19th, 2007 at 7:30 am [Reply]

#291 Uncle Lumpy says: MW — Let’s not forget Vera’s “I’m glad we drove separately ’cause my car needs a tuneup” schtick.

I think she went out of her way to mention it twice. I’m hoping it was really really clumsy foreshadowing. So maybe she’s going off a cliff on the way home and will be blind or horribly disfigured in a couple days. And Drew’s love will be tested.

Nahhh.
TB Tabby
September 19th, 2007 at 7:31 am [Reply]

9CL: What a coincidence, Thorax! That’s exactly what WE’VE been saying to YOU!

AD: They have a toilet?

Crock: I don’t know how you got that idea either, because you’re clearly not walking on sand. Sand is not now, nor has it ever been, bright lemon yellow.

FC: …So they give him a tampon.

MC: After reading this, I was immediately driven to Wikipedia to look up the history of milk. I wish I were joking.

Phantom: Paraphrasing Tom Servo: The night Tendai chose to tag this billboard was actually quite a lovely day! In fact, you couldn’t have picked a NICER day to do some late-night tagging! Just after midnight, or high noon? The colorist JUST DIDN’T CARE.
Rainbird
September 19th, 2007 at 7:37 am [Reply]

106 adoptive mother worth her salt Thank you. I read that strip and thought, well, that will surly screw the child up. Usually parents try to let the kids know about their heritage, perhaps even learn the language? Hah. These people will probably put a sign on her to make her stand out more, even beyond calling her “jinx” yuck.
Rainbird
September 19th, 2007 at 7:39 am [Reply]

Is in reruns? How long was it since Arcie Bunker was on TV? Can’ even rememer the name of the show, without looking it up. I was going to say the Odd Couple, but I know that isn’t right.

My dad, who was an Archie Bunker type, used to laugh everytime the son-in-law was called “Meathead”. He would laugh and say “Meathead” as though that was the greatest punch line in the world.
Rainbird
September 19th, 2007 at 7:41 am [Reply]

MT Wow, we are actually seeing Mark talking to his editor. (Or perhaps it is just some random Homer Fanclub Member).
Rainbird
September 19th, 2007 at 7:42 am [Reply]

MW I’m sorry, but what are cars doing parked right next to the stable where the horses are kept. What, they can’t walk?
dimestore lipstick
September 19th, 2007 at 7:43 am [Reply]

Scherzo–
Bill Fries is C.W. McCall. That is, he’s the singer and lyricist. Chip Davis wrote the (damn fine) music.

(And nope–no internet required.
I just happen to be an Iowa girl who grew up in the 70s, and loves her some C.W. McCall.)
Girl Reporter
September 19th, 2007 at 7:44 am [Reply]

Was Hyacinth’s invitation to riparian delights punting on the Thames?
Rainbird
September 19th, 2007 at 7:45 am [Reply]

(WT)DT Thunk? That is the sound of a helocpter falling on the Baron? Where is the carnage? Was the helocopter not up very high?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 19th, 2007 at 7:50 am [Reply]

Breaker 1-9, this here’s the Brick. I’m rollin’ outa Beer-town with a boxcarload of snark bound for… Aw, crap, WRONG! It’s not Talk Like A Trucker Day, it’s Talk Like A Pirate Day! So, avast, me hearties! Cap’n Brickbeard is here with a treasure chest of snark booty for ye:

A3G: Why be Nora pointin’ to her face in Panel 3? Perhaps she be pointin’ out how she suddenly bears the visage of an old sea hag. Yarrrr.

Archie: Though Betty may be a comely wench, she be speakin’ lies. She’s assumin’ nobody would replace their TV viewin’ with some non-pollutin’ activity, even though many of ‘em would spend that five minutes workin’ on their computers, listenin’ to the radio or driving somewhere. Er, uh, drivin’ somewharrrr.

Baldo: And after musterin’ out, he signed on to serve on Han Solo’s corsair, plyin’ the Black Depths for booty. Arrrr.

(WT)DT: I do not believe that the ne’er-do-well’s whirligig would crash so gently. At the least, shouldn’t the cabin have been breached by shards of shattered rotor? At least now Tracy will get a chance to make ‘em walk the plank in person. Yo ho!

FC: Ye’ll get yer wings, all right… spendin’ the next six years sittin’ in me crow’s nest! Yar har har!!! Now swab that deck, ye towheaded runt!

FBOFW: Arrr. The wee lass has squeezed her grandpap’s nose-nuts down into his chin.

GF: Cats be the sign o’ the devil. Put the vermin in a sack an’ toss him over the gunwale, Rob.

(DT)GT: There be no joy in Mudlarkville… mighty Casey has been caught. Um… arrrr.

JP: Avast, Rusty’s packin’ a pair o’ cannonballs in her blouse! Time to show her your cutlass, Sam! Roger her good… she wants to be “yo ho!”

MW: In panel 1, it seems Dr. Corey stands ready to lash Dawn to the foremast and give her a good rogering! But, in the end, he be no man to let a wench sass him so. When I see him next, I’ll end his misery with me cutlass.

Phantom: Look alive, me hearties! I see the great white! …Nay, stand down, it just be the Phantom.

RMMD: When I want me a new cabin boy, I don’t have to go through all this rigamarole. Just backhand the trollop and shanghai the starfish-headed lad.

SS: Arrr. That shade o’ green be blue.

S-M: Here be the stupidest man in comics.

God, I’m never doing “Snark Like a Pirate” again.
Krazy Kat
September 19th, 2007 at 7:51 am [Reply]

Argh, mateys, tis the Kat here, belayin his watch to remind ye swabs and lubbers that today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Avast!
Galactic Emperor Chennux®™©
September 19th, 2007 at 7:56 am [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS!

YAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

END TRANSMISSION!
Tweeks_Coffee
September 19th, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

‘Shaft: Okay, we get it, Crankshaft is a cheating asshole when it comes to golf. Is it wrong to hope that he’s currently teeing that thing up on a fire ant hill?
DT: Thus, all 3 of them were killed instantly when the vertical G’s crushed their spines like accordions. If we see Gretchen stumbling out of the chopper I’m going to be very angry.
Drabble: I can relate, my dog’s favorite hobby is looking out the window. There’s a constant film on my front windows thanks to her.
FC: At least it wasn’t another Streisand gag.
FW: Mainly happy to be leaving, I’m sure. So is this strip just going to devolve into a constant parade of people stopping by to visit until Lisa kicks it in October?
GT: So today we learned that Tony Casey is a pretty crappy QB. Then Gil, apparently, leaves all the coaching decisions up to his team. When was the last time this guy actually coached anyone?
MT: I’m not too sure what Mark’s doing in that last panel, but I think it’s something dirty.
S-M: It’s official; Hitler’s clone has now performed more heroics than Spidey. All while wearing a 3-piece suit too. Now that’s amazing!
Ziggy: Wait…what?
Allie Cat
September 19th, 2007 at 8:01 am [Reply]

MW:

With apologies to West Side Story fans:

A boy Drew will date another;
Forget Drew Corey,
Go back to brother!
Von of your own kind,
Stick to your own kiiiiiiiind!
Allie Cat
September 19th, 2007 at 8:02 am [Reply]

Crap – serves me right for not proofing – let’s try again:

A boy like Drew will date another;
Forget Drew Corey,
Go back to brother!
Von of your own kind,
Stick to your own kiiiiiiiind!
chirp
September 19th, 2007 at 8:03 am [Reply]

hehe, i think this could be one of your readers… a letter to the editor in today’s local paper:

“Comic strip isn’t very humorous

From time to time you folks take stock of your comic strips. At your next evaluation, please consider the following: Webster’s Dictionary defines the word “comic” thusly – “n. 1. a comedian 2. the humorous element in art or life 3. a) same as COMIC STRIP or COMIC BOOK b) a section of strips, as in a newspaper — SYN. see FUNNY”

In light of the above, I contend that “Funky Winkerbean” is a far cry from being comical.”
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 19th, 2007 at 8:06 am [Reply]

And some non-pirate snark, just ’cause this is on my mind:

Phantom: Yeah, when I see urban graffiti of a masked man pointing semi-automatic pistols at me, the first thing I think is “that’s an inspiring hero.”
Old Man Muffaroo [Old Man Kip W]
September 19th, 2007 at 8:12 am [Reply]

bats [: @152 et al – At this time, Sarah had spend the first 13 months of her life in an orphanage in Feixi. When we got home, one of the cats came by to see what we’d been up to for the last two weeks, and I said, “And this is our kitty cat!” After Sarah finally stopped shrieking, it occurred to me she might not have seen a cat before. Maybe she hadn’t even seen an animal. I went to sleep in something resembling panic.

But the next morning, Sarah wanted to follow the cats around the house, and they wanted to stay out of her reach, so things were as they should be. A few months later, Rose decided she’d get a better deal at some other house (I was slow letting her back in the house one time), and Tosh succumbed to kidney failure, poor kitty. Sarah wants a turtle. (She’s five now, by the way.)
Dennis Jimenez
September 19th, 2007 at 8:12 am [Reply]

A3G – In that shirt? I’d expect Eric to sing like a canary.

MT – It looks like Cherry may be blowing Mark’s duck call in panel three.

MW – I forsee Dr. Drew grabbing a pony tail as he reams from behind – of course it’s not Vera’s.

RMMD – !?!

S4th – Can somebody explain that poster in the background? Is it Lap Bill? Always leave at least a $20 for your lap dance? Am I on the right track?

Archie – Ya know what I found out? Archie Sucks!

FC – Oh, that I could pitch you off a high rise, Jeffy and test those wings.
Razmytaz
September 19th, 2007 at 8:13 am [Reply]

Looking at the colored version of Mark Trail I am forced to conclude either the pasty -zombie plague has spread throughout Lost Forest, taking in Mark and Cherry (here’s hoping that Shirley the Drake’s plumage makes him resistant)
OR
Jack Elrod having swilled through the tinted ink budget (or swilled the tinted ink itself) has forced the coloring monkeys to make do with only enough to cover a fraction of the artwork (and rely only on beige, fuschia, and robins-egg).
Old Man Muffaroo [Old Man Kip W]
September 19th, 2007 at 8:14 am [Reply]

Ah, you like Jacky Chan? Jacky Chan, yes? You like his new movie, Rush Hour 3? Haven’t seen it? DVD copy, just off the boat. Good, clean copy. Subtitles are in Cantonese, you just ignore those. Ten dollars. Five dollars? You like Chuck Norris?

Okay, that’s my bit for “talk like a video pirate day.”
Dennis Jimenez
September 19th, 2007 at 8:18 am [Reply]

132 – Phantom – I think it’s me hardies, from hardy or robust, but in the case of Blondie, Abbie or June, it may also derrive from hard-ies, from the requisite pirate salute.
True Fable
September 19th, 2007 at 8:26 am [Reply]

#332 Spectacular Spider-Brick – Are you kidding? Your post was hilarious! We need more Talk like a Pirate days if your effort was the bellwether.

#334 Galactic Emperor Chennux – ROFLMMFAO!

ah, me…. what a good way to start the day/go to sleep!
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 19th, 2007 at 8:31 am [Reply]

9/19

MW: Further complicating Drew’s life, a man in a blue jumpsuit wants to get paid. For something. Holding the video camera, maybe?

FW: Only in Winkerbean could such a thuddingly obvious pun count as comic relief.

SFx: Try not pissing off the cat, birds. Cats can climb.

BC: But wouldn’t even a baby lizard be gigantic compared to the ants? Wait, am I actually trying to argue with this catastrophe?

A3G: “Um, partners? I surely don’t know what you mean? We’re just a couple of guys who spent time together. Surely you’re not suggesting… Oh, my stars.”

BB: Looks aside, General Halftrack seems to have the secretary he deserves.

Luann: With the hotel-derived name, I guess Tiffany is supposed to be a Paris Hilton figure. She’s way too lifelike, though.

Phantom: What? Bullshit! Unless Tendai has an overhead projector and twenty apprentices, there’s no way she did that billboard overnight.

RMMD: “Okay Mae, I’ve held it in long enough. What the hell happened to your hair?”

H&J: Is Sarah related to Cedric the butler?

S-M: Triple J gets shocked in the ass! And he like it!
Lord-z
September 19th, 2007 at 8:35 am [Reply]

I think that Mary Worth should have honored the old tradition of Talk Like A Pirate Day and have Drew keelhauled. Or at least have Dawn call him a landlubber. It would have been a wonderful gesture towards a day that has captured the heart of a world.

I mean, ARRRRR!
Frank Parsnip
September 19th, 2007 at 8:35 am [Reply]

Avast ye, mateys… Captain ‘Browneye’ Morgan and his latest mate Niki off the starboard mast. Thar he blows!
The Divine O’F
September 19th, 2007 at 8:36 am [Reply]

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE:

252 Dingo: I LOVE LOVE LOVE your slap machine! Thanks!

307 True Fable: Damn! I planned to be the first to say it.

334 GEC: YAAAY! Also: Avast!

336 Allie Cat: Excellent. Also: Yaaar!
Allie Cat
September 19th, 2007 at 8:44 am [Reply]

My favorite pirate joke, ever:

A pirate walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “Excuse me sir, is that a steering wheel down the front of your pants?”

The pirate replies, “Aye… ’tis driving me nuts!”

Bwahahahaha!
John C Fremont
September 19th, 2007 at 8:45 am [Reply]

# 324 (TB Tabby) – I always appreciate when people paraphrase Tom Servo. In fact, I think the world would be a better place if everyone randomly quoted and/or paraphrased Tom Servo. Or Mike. Or Joel. Or Crow. Or Gypsy. Or TV’s Frank…

# 329 (dimestore lipstick) – So surely you remember those awful Old Home Bread commercials. And okay, I’ll stop calling you Shirley.

Talk like a pirate day? Wow, too much! By this afternoon I’ll be able to talk like a pirate WHILE WEARING MY CASSANDRA CAT SHIRT WHICH WILL BE HERE TODAY!! Hey, is there a National Walk Like An Egyptian Day? How about a Turning Japanese Day? A Flock Of Seagulls Big Hair Day?
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 19th, 2007 at 8:50 am [Reply]

Okay, let me try this “Talk Like a Pirate” thing.

Actually, I prefer “Wilver” Stargell.

“We Are Family” is just a really catchy song. I think our fans will like it

The ump says “play ball” not “work ball.”

Pittsburgh Pirates count, don’t they?
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 19th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

Okay, let me try this “Talk Like a Pirate” thing.

Actually, I prefer “Wilver” Stargell.

“We Are Family” is just a really catchy song. I think our fans will like it

The ump says “play ball” not “work ball.”

Pittsburgh Pirates count, don’t they?

(reposted to make “joke” a little more prominent)
Bootsy
September 19th, 2007 at 8:53 am [Reply]

FC Yes, Jeffy, they’ll give you wings. The kind that stick out from the sides of a big absorbent maxi pad. Because you are a pussy.

Aaarrrggghhh!
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 19th, 2007 at 8:54 am [Reply]

Okay, let me try this “Talk Like a Pirate” thing.

Actually, I prefer “Wilver” Stargell.L

“We Are Family” is just a really catchy song. I think our fans will like it

The ump says “play ball” not “work ball.”

Pittsburgh Pirates count, don’t they?

(Sorry, folks. Apparently you have to bold each line individually. Now that I’ve thoroughly killed the joke, it’s quittin’ time.)
Buck Ripsnort
September 19th, 2007 at 8:57 am [Reply]

Oooh, JUST remembered why I stay off the intertubes on 9/19. It’s Talk Like A Native Of Bristol, England Day!
cheech wizard
September 19th, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Phantom – Today, thousands of commuters will be greeted by a large masked man pointing a pair of ginormous handguns at them. That’s not a message of hope, that’s a message to get out of town. After depositing their valuables in a heap beneath the billboard.

JP – “So, what’s your wife like?”

“That’s a good question. I’m not really sure.”
Rainbird
September 19th, 2007 at 9:06 am [Reply]

StoutHearted #113 I figured that this was just Dennis playing dress-up. Next, his mother’s nightgowns.
Rainbird
September 19th, 2007 at 9:07 am [Reply]

116 Dingo I was wondering about that in GT as well. I mean, here we go from a cool story about a washed out singer, to watching unidentifiable young men bashing into each other. What fun.
Mibbitmaker
September 19th, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

9CL: Uh, no, Thorax… “Monty” was saying that to just you.

FC: Angel wings, Jeffy. Basically, Grandma’s suggesting that your parents should kill you. Lovingly, of course.

NS: And if your dad doesn’t like what your teacher says (or is about to say), he’ll get his buddies at MoveOn-dot-org to wage a smear campaign against her.

S4th: Sally’s vision is awfully similar to Lynn Johnston’s (Ces taking a subtle shot, perhaps? It’s nice to have an inside ‘Mudgeon), while Ted’s is just like Calvin’s.

Garfield: A “real man” acts like a stereotypical man (I wouldn’t mind seeing ballet a rare time or two, but don’t get me near an opera!). The woman here fares no better, being the all-woman-love-elite-high-culture cliche. There are women who like good ol’ rock music, y’know.
Montag
September 19th, 2007 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

(DT)GT: Is it too late to ask? … Do Tony Casey and Grant Sanders play for Oakwood or Milford? … Which team is on offense? … And which one does Gil Thorp coach? I’ve only been reading GT for six months, so I’m not quite up to speed yet. I’m sure it would be clearer, perhaps, if I’d started following it back in 1958. When I was negative thirteen.
leathermessiah
September 19th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

HIS NAME IS ARISTOTLE?! SERIOUSLY?! WHAT.

Also, Mary Worth. Aaaaaaaah.
shMerker
September 20th, 2007 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace, Panel 3: “I just thought you’d like to know, since that’s where I sent all your valuables.”
Carly
December 18th, 2007 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp football is really confusing and boring

Seriously. If Marty Moon is to be believed anyway – I’m pretty sure if your run is working that well you usually stick to it.

Or maybe I’m taking my funnies too seriously.

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Mary Worth presents: JILTED LOVER SMACKDOWN!

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