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Should auld acquaintance be forgot

Happy New Year, everybody! How was your Chrismakkuhzatice? I got me a bunch of real nice presents, both comics-related (Complete Calvin and Hobbes, In the Shadow of No Towers, Persepolis) and otherwise. Meanwhile, of course, the various comics have marched on in their merry ways. There was some Christmas cheer:

At Christmas dinner, Judge Parker’s Sam Driver felt a need to not only help cook but to dress up as a chef for some odd reason. Is that a cravat he’s wearing? Or is it the front of a cape? Is he supposed to be “Chef Man”?

Gil Thorp took Christmas day as an opportunity show off both his freakish family (I think his son played Steve Austin’s boss in the Six Million Dollar Man) and his ability to speak in cursive.

And Mark Trail got to show off just which side of the War on Christmas he’s on. Notice that Jesus gets glossed over in the opening panels (which many newspapers don’t even print) so as to give more space to Santa, the gift-giving pagan nature-spirit amalgam who has supplanted our Lord and Savior in the greedy, greedy hearts of America’s children. At least we don’t have to stare at any more reindeer ass.

Not everyone took time off for the holidays, either:

Apartment 3-G’s Lu Ann cheered us all up with the most revealing outfit in the history of Apartment 3-G. Her little black dress makes Tommie’s clashing-greens golf shirt/sweatshirt combo look even more like something out of the late Victorian age.

In Spider-Man, some suicidal schmuck has decided that offing himself in Spidey’s accidentally discarded costume would be good for a larf. His worries about being “corny” are clearly misplaced, as this comic is a nonstop cavalcade of cheese.

Mary Worth’s Jane ex-Hand has instantly aged twenty years in deciding to instigate the most ludicrous tort case in the history of common law. Her case against “Ask Wendy” will no doubt be soon followed by cases brought against syndicated horoscope writers for failing to predict disaster and against Omar Sharif for shoddy bridge advice.

Mark Trail remains boring beyond belief, but now the dog-lovin’ hillbilly gal has magically turned blonde.

Anyway, hopefully this little catch-up whets your appetite for all things comical and curmudgeonly in 2006. Many people take milestones like the end of the year to re-evaluate their creative endeavors, or take their pet projects to the next level. Well, I have absolutely no big plans or surprises for you in the new year. You’ll get more of the same and you’ll like it! Well, there’s one exception: I hearby declare the end of “First Post.” Seriously. Put a comment on this site that serves no purpose but to indicate that you posted first and it will be purged forevermore by me. You have been warned! Josh has spoken!

78 responses to “Should auld acquaintance be forgot”

  1. T.J.
    January 2nd, 2006 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    Happy New Year to you too Josh. And holy crap, you’re right…who knew that Oscar Goldman was Gil Thorp’s son?

  2. Anonymous
    January 2nd, 2006 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    We don’t need no big surprises from you, just your continued thoughtful, insight into the comics. But if you give us bad advice, we just may have to follow Jane Hand’s lead…

  3. T.J.
    January 2nd, 2006 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    (And I didn’t want to put it in the first post becuase it might’ve gotten purged just for mentioning it, but seriously, thank you for putting the kibosh on that “first” crap.)

  4. Anonymous
    January 2nd, 2006 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Don’t know why it came out anonymous; bad form especially since it contained a veiled threat. It was me, Weiser

  5. mooselet
    January 2nd, 2006 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    Welcome back, Josh!! I’ve missed your insight, and I assure you I have no plans to sue you… yet. Bwahahaha

  6. Bill Peschel
    January 2nd, 2006 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    Of course, I post an advance on Tuesday’s comic and you step on it by posting. Think you own the site, do ya?

    Oh, wait . . .

    Anyway, welcome back. More trashtalk, mule!

  7. jmarkow
    January 2nd, 2006 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    Hey, glad you’re home. And seriously, thanks for putting a stop to that ”I’m first, I’m first” twaddle
    Happy New Year

  8. John
    January 2nd, 2006 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    It’s good to have you back, Josh.

  9. Stosh
    January 2nd, 2006 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    LuAnn is based on Tuesday Weld.

  10. anonymous
    January 2nd, 2006 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    gaaawwwDAYUM! That Gil Thorpe crew is uuuuuugly! GT resembles the square headed Prince Namor, the Submariner, in the Marvel comics of the 60′s.

  11. laska
    January 2nd, 2006 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    By the looks of it, that dress isn’t the only thing doing tricks.

  12. Jimmy
    January 2nd, 2006 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    A happy 2006 to one and all… here in Florida, we’re bucking down for yet another horrific hurricane season… who can we sue? SOMEBODY has to pay!

  13. Yineyes
    January 2nd, 2006 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone else think that the Gil Thorp Christmas tree looks like Cookie Monster?

  14. Sheila
    January 2nd, 2006 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    I loooooooove how the fake Spiderman is so not buff. You know how Spidey has those ridiculously defined quads and pecs and everything? This guy just looks like some dork in footie pajamas. The picture Josh posted isn’t the funniest one — check out 12/29!

  15. 4thAce
    January 2nd, 2006 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    You must have wealthy relatives/friends, Josh, to be able to give The Complete Calvin and Hobbes as a Christmasoid gift.

    Say what you will about that excerpt from (DT)Gil Thorpe, I’m almost certain that that’s actually a woman on the end there, right next to that tree. You can’t always be certain.

    If only Jane had done what any modern person would do in her situation – seek guidance from strangers on the Internet – she’d be happily spending all her time in Second Life instead.

  16. Frank Drackman
    January 2nd, 2006 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    Wow LuAnns got quite the rack on her…hasn’t Wilbur/Wendy heard of new years resolutions??the new years only 2 days old and hes stuffing his fat face like theres no tomorrow, instead of a law suit, I’d rather see the ex-Mrs.Hand give him a beat down like Marcellus Wallace got in Pulp Fiction.

  17. Maughta
    January 2nd, 2006 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    Did April actually use the term “Borked” as a euphemism of drunkenness? I thought “Borked” means what’s going to happen to Alito (in my fantasy world, at least).

  18. Ford Dent
    January 2nd, 2006 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    I do not know precisely what the hell April was spouting today. I know that I never took the time to list off all the colloquialisms for drunk to torment my siblings.

    I just talked really loud.

  19. Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
    January 2nd, 2006 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    Welcome back! You were missed…by me and my website visitors too.

    Do you think Gil keeps his family stored in a vacuum chamber until those occasions when he needs them? His wife and children certainly never have any problems. Not even homework they need help with.

    Or, perhaps they are robots?!

  20. Marc
    January 2nd, 2006 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, a young Phylisha Rashad is playing Gil’s daughter.

  21. Dub Not Dubya
    January 2nd, 2006 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    Yineyes–I did not notice it when I first saw the strip, but you’re right, that tree does look like Cookie Monster. Maybe the monkeys who draw Gil Thorp had a little too much eggnog that night.

    Welcome back, Josh. Thanks for a great site. Hope your plans for the year ahead include cool near Curmudgeon Gear.

  22. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    January 2nd, 2006 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    Some of us would like to see the safe return of Gitsum Girl, NOW.

  23. Tim O\'Neil
    January 2nd, 2006 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who thinks that Tomiie’s get-up looks like cast-off from the sixties Legion fo Super-Heroes wardrobe department?

  24. Mibbitmaker
    January 2nd, 2006 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    Josh, #3, et al: I fully agree!

    Among the Christmas (or, if you’re Mark Trail, ?mas) gifts I got from my aunt and uncle – who always give me great mostly cartoon-oriented books – were “Excuse Me While I Wag” (Dilbert) and “Blueprint for Disaster” (Get Fuzzy).

    All this is my way of saying “I’ve fallen way behind in my newpaper’s comics section the last few days!”

  25. Dr. Laura
    January 2nd, 2006 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    Josh–THANK YOU THANK YOU for getting rid of the “First!” idiocy. These are probably the same people who position themselves behind first base at ballparks and wave idiotically at the television camera while jabbering to their friends on their cell phones–”Look I’m onTV!!” If I were God these morons would be transported Twilight Zone style and frozen permanently into the cheering crowds of geeks on the sidelines of Milford High sporting events.

  26. Mibbitmaker
    January 2nd, 2006 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    GT: Uh-oh! Looks like Cookie Monster Tree ate the cookies left for Santa. The ol’ Mark Trail Sunday comics-hogger’s gonna be pissed! (Aren’t Sunday MTs s’posedta be ’bout nature or something?)

    A3G: To comment on LuAnn above, I must paraphrase Trapper mocking Frank Burns on M*A*S*H: “She’s an idiot, but she’s stacked!”

    Judge Parker: Hey! It’s old ’50s clip art!

    MW: Maybe Jane ex-Hand (who looks here like Jane Fist*) just has an I made-a-huge-mistake-and-I’m-blaming-others headache. Or she’s knocking to see if she’s home (Nah! That’s too LuAnn 3G).

    *Oh, getcher minds outta the gutter!!

  27. Mr. Cat
    January 2nd, 2006 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    What exactly is supposed to be funny in the story arc about the missing letter “a” in “pearls before swine”? Maybe subtle commentary on the supression of free speech?

  28. VB
    January 2nd, 2006 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    In The Shadow Of No Towers is sheer genius. Hopefully you’ll all agree.

  29. Malcolm
    January 3rd, 2006 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    Nice. I’m censured on my very first post of the year.
    C’mon guys, I already changed my name to avoid being confused with one of the regulars, I just wanted to be first poster of 2006, not first to post about Judge Parker’s chopsticks.

  30. Little Joe
    January 3rd, 2006 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    When I first saw the Mark Trail strip on Christmas day, I was too filled with seasonal good will to make snide comments. Having returned to normal, I feel compelled to point out that while Santa is busy ho-ho-ho-ing, Dasher & company are about to execute a VERY impressive U-turn. I just hope the old gent is belted in. (Although the song never got specific, I’m now guessing that “crack the whip” was a favorite reindeer game.)

  31. Gant
    January 3rd, 2006 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    Some great insight there.

    I liked the mark trail Christmas Day strip… reminds me of the 60′s

    Gant

  32. Doug Puthoff
    January 3rd, 2006 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    What about the “Curtis” Kwanzaa story?

  33. Monkeys Uncle
    January 3rd, 2006 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Welcome back Josh,

    I’ll just go ahead and get this out of the way for you.

    The crack is back! For the second time in as many weeks; buttcrack, aka plumbers butt, the old permanent vertical smile has showed up in Brenda Starr. As a curmudgeon it is moments like this I live for. Happy New Year!

  34. grendell
    January 3rd, 2006 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    who is the giant fish in MT talking to? and redneck girl dyed her hair again.

  35. Sheila
    January 3rd, 2006 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    HEY, the Post-Gazette is running a bunch of OLD Doonesbury strips — we’ve had that “Trump College” sequence before. Does this mean Trudeau’s on vacation, or is the P-G suppressing some controversial new story line? What’s everyone else had for the past two days???

    Also, MW is at its absolute silliest right now. Can’t wait to see who wins this lawsuit!!!

  36. Concerned Citizen
    January 3rd, 2006 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Happy New Year! From the looks of things Tommie may finally get outed this year, and the sinister tree creature will devour the Thorpians. And, yes, I see the early 60′s Marvel look in GT, but Steve Ditko made his freakish characters seem a bit more elegant. They almost seemed somewhat humanoid.

  37. Kaliflower
    January 3rd, 2006 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail’s talking fish today is hilarous. Usually, at least, Elrod will have the common curtoesy of setting up who’s talking before shoving in his detailed wild life but today he just couldn’t help putting that fish in there and sacrificing about 90% of the coherence. It took me forever to find little ol’ Mark. It was like a Where’s Waldo.

  38. Sourbelly
    January 3rd, 2006 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    The more one looks at that DTGT panel, the more it sucks. I especially enjoy the flames shooting out of Gil’s skull. Pure Evil.

  39. BigJoe
    January 3rd, 2006 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    #30: Little Joe – are we related? Are you my “Mini Me”?

  40. jem
    January 3rd, 2006 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    It’s good to have you back, Josh.

    About yesterday’s Speed Bump–is my mind in the gutter or is this just…ewwww.
    http://www.comics.com/creators/speedbump/archive/speedbump-20060102.html

    And a belated thanks to whoever clued me in to Pooch Cafe.

  41. philip
    January 3rd, 2006 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    I heart the Curmudgeon. Happy New Year and a million thanks for putting the kibosh on the “first post” crap. Your 8-year-old readers will be sorely disappointed, though.

  42. Malcolm
    January 3rd, 2006 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    It’s unintentionally eeeew.

    And anyway, he can lick all he likes, it’s only the shell. The nut itself is saliva free.

    Sometimes one can give compliments which one knows will definitely not be appreciated by the artist. Here comes one now.

    Coverly is one of the most improved cartoonists in the funny pages, if not THE most improved.
    His style (both in art and writing) has developed over the last five or so years to the extent he’s now operating at the top of the pile. Eminently readable.

    Why would that comment not be appreciated? Because every artist wants to think there was never a development period, that they arrived fully formed and fully informed, like Zeus.

    Anyway, Coverly is ticking along pretty darn well. Good luck to him.

  43. Malcolm
    January 3rd, 2006 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    I agree with Philip.
    Hate that “first post” crap. God forbid that we should have to wade through it to get to the real meat and potatoes.

    Dr Laura writes: “These are probably the same people who position themselves behind first base at ballparks and wave idiotically at the television camera while jabbering to their friends on their cell phones–”Look I’m onTV!!”

    Are they really any lesser beings than those who write about the picture hanging in the background of the third panel in Apt 3G?

    The words ‘glass houses” and “stones’ spring to mind.

  44. Sassy_Rocks
    January 3rd, 2006 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    In panel 2 of today’s Mary Worth, are those surprise rays emanating from Wilbur Weston’s right jowl or are they just mini blinds? Wilbur should look for a new gig. His boss disrespects him as though he were a temp peon, rather than treating him with the respect commensurate with an experienced transgender advice columnist . There are lots of jobs out there that require people who can come up with hasty drivel. Politics comes to mind but, nah, he’s too ugly…

  45. King Folderol
    January 3rd, 2006 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Damn it, Kaliflower! You beat me to the talking fish comment!

    I was thinking that maybe this will be a new era for Mark Trail, where we don’t see the characters at all, and just have to guess who’s talking. First panel: MOOSE: “Sure has been a lot of polluting in these woods lately.” Second panel: COYOTE: “Yes, I certainly should do something about that.” Third panel: TREE: “Maybe I’ll go to the cops and see how they can’t help this week.”

    Reminds me of the Mallard Fillmore joke in “America: The Book”, where Mallard runs around bitching about liberals for two panels and in the third panel says, “Oops, forget a punchline!:

  46. dimestore lipstick
    January 3rd, 2006 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Holy Moley! Exactly what “syndicate” is Wilbur Weston involved with, anyway? That guy on the phone sounds like he’s ready to have Dear Wendy knee-capped.

    Or maybe comics syndicates are run more or less like the mob? Ces?

  47. Sheila
    January 3rd, 2006 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    #42, Malcolm: Don’t you mean “fully formed and fully informed, like Athena springing from the head of Zeus”?

    I mean, Zeus was born the normal way as the baby of Cronos and Rhea, right?

  48. didymos!
    January 3rd, 2006 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    Six Million Dollar Man be damned… Gil Thorp looks like a slightly more hirsute version of Red Dwarf‘s Kryten in that panel. Creepy.

  49. Malcolm
    January 3rd, 2006 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Sheila,
    Actually Cronos and Rhea were on Maury last night and Cronos took the test and he WASN’T the father.
    Typical white trailer trash idiot, he swallowed his first five kids to stop them usurping him only to have the sanky ho Rhea fool him with a bunch of rocks in blankets.

    Ha!

    Rhea was screaming at him “look at his eyes! Look at his sticky-out ears! He looks just lahk yuh!”
    Then when Maury read out the results she ran down the corridor, sank onto the floor and squealed.

    They don’t make gods like they used to.

  50. Sassy_Rocks
    January 3rd, 2006 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    Abbey’s heart to heart with Neddy will be that typical mother daughter topic:

    You know that “not so fresh feeling” you get sometimes? Neddy I need to talk to you about…Summer’s Eve.

  51. Kaliflower
    January 3rd, 2006 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Reminds me of the Mallard Fillmore joke in “America: The Book”, where Mallard runs around bitching about liberals for two panels and in the third panel says, “Oops, forget a punchline!”

    Did anybody see the short series of Mallard Fillmore comics sometime last year where Mallard Fillmore spent an entire week complaining about this? He said, ‘Jon Stewart’s book printed a fake comic of mine! They even put a date on it!’ Apparently the author didn’t quite understand that that entire section was all clearly parodies. It was tremendously obscure, really, considering the Doonesbury above it pointed out that Doonesbury’s humor was occasionally too dry and featured a comic with only four blank panels of the Whitehouse, the penultimate featuring a butterfly flitting by.

  52. Smitty Smedlap
    January 3rd, 2006 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    I also got two outstanding comics-related gifts. First, a “Little Nemo in Slumberland” calendar, which includes 16 full-sized reproductions of this classic comic — and second, an original, customized “Medium Large” cartoon. Both are among my favorite gifts ever.

    (Ces, not sure if you’re a fan of Winsor McCay, but just wanted you to know the company you’re keeping these days…)

  53. Marc
    January 3rd, 2006 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Why is Dolly breastfeeding her doll through her shirt?

    Why is LOVE IS… focusing on Hurricane Katrina and having people smile even though their house is submerged?

    Couldn’t today’s Marmaduke be a case for the ASPCA? It’s a scarf, which can choke him.

    Summer (FW) gave us another encore of her Cheerios.

    Wilber’s syndicate editor wants to get Wilber “sleeping with the fishes.” Those lines eminating off of him are not to be confused with Margo from A3G, when she did her Nina Blake impression. The phone has morphed yet again.

    Boring day for the comics….

  54. Dark Star
    January 3rd, 2006 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    Looks like Gil Thorp has been wading in the shallow end of the gene pool.

  55. June fan
    January 3rd, 2006 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    Is that Katie Couric making a cameo in panel 2 of RMMD, 1/3?

  56. Sassy_Rocks
    January 3rd, 2006 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    It IS Katie Couric but why is she talking about parting pigeons? She must be referring to transparent divorce pigeons. What does the bartender put in her hair to get that Peppy Le Pew look?

    Why doesn’t Mark Trail take a boat to Palmetto Cove instead of hacking through the swamp Indiana Jones style? Isn’t a cove by definition readily accessible by water? Since he doesn’t want to arouse suspicion with the sound of a motorboat, he can row there. His whole chinkapin burr hunch seems worthless at this point. It wasn’t a factor in his finding Andy but he sure knows his trees…

  57. Sassy_Rocks
    January 3rd, 2006 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of heart to heart mother daughter talks and Summers Eve, that stuff really works! Look at the glow on the summers eve woman in this url! Maybe Gitsum girl could use some of that.

    http://www.summerseve.co.uk/

  58. Old Fogey
    January 3rd, 2006 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    And speaking of Summer Moore (FW), am I the only one who thinks she is a remarkably ugly kid? Where’d she get HER genes from, I’d like to know?

  59. Zorba the Geek
    January 3rd, 2006 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    Has no-one congratulated Sassy_Rocks on her ascension to “Comment of the Week” status? Let me be the first, then, Sassy. A very good quote, and fully deserving of the honor.

  60. Sassy_Rocks
    January 3rd, 2006 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    Wow! Thanx, Zorba. 2 ‘s a charm!

  61. Anon
    January 3rd, 2006 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Don’t you mean “fully formed and fully informed, like Athena springing from the head of Zeus”?

    I thought she sprung from the puddle of blood that formed from his bleeding gonads.

  62. Anon
    January 3rd, 2006 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    Is anyone else having problems seeing the comic strips on the internet? It says they are unavailable with no referrer.

  63. Rich
    January 3rd, 2006 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who, at first glance, actually thought it was the DOG who was talking in the last MT panel shown above?

  64. Sassy_Rocks
    January 3rd, 2006 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    Zorba, for your information and not that it matters, I have a y chromosome. Before you start thinking I’m some kind of transgendered Wilbur Weston-like freak, let me explain my moniker. It dates back to the Mark Trail What Th’ messageboard days. I was always a big fan of cowardly little whiney puppies, especially ones devoid of any redeeming characteristics, so I named my online persona accordingly. I was “Rogue Grizzly Guts” for awhile during the Misty River episode but changed back to Sassy_Rocks before I started posting here.

  65. Skooter
    January 3rd, 2006 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    MW – It’s about time for Wilbur to check his liability insurance. Let’s hope the news of this threatened lawsuit doesn’t leak out around a. Charterstone pool party. I can all ready hear Professor Pompous telling Victoria and Mary to not associate with Wilbur. Is it really Wilbur or is it Mr. Ed?

    RMMD – Didn’t Scrap have only $400 in winnings? How is he going to come up with the $2000 buy-in? Perhaps he’ll put down his leg as collateral?

    FBOW – Did Liz pound down all the alcohol at the family party? What would Dudley Do-Right say?

  66. Beasley
    January 3rd, 2006 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    65th!

    //Kidding! Just kidding! ;)

  67. Beasley
    January 3rd, 2006 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    Oops…guess I ought to learn how to count. ;)

  68. Lor
    January 3rd, 2006 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    Sassy, congrats on COTW. And that Summers Eve ad was hilarious. Is that where the expression “thinks the sun shines out of (her) @$$” comes from?

    Maybe Summers Eve is what’s making the bartender’s hair so shiny? [insert misplaced merkin joke here]

    Malcolm, I loved #29. Now I SO want to see Twilight of the Gods, Maury-style. And don’t feel too bad about all the “First!” stuff — because it is I … YES, I … who was to blame for ALL OF IT. I STARTED IT ALL, back on July 13, and I’M GLAD! I’d DO IT AGAIN!! [maniacal laugh, à la Gary Larson's courtroom cow]

    [meekly] but I won’t do it any more, of course…

  69. EricW
    January 3rd, 2006 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    Arrrgh, posted this under the wrong date…so here it is again…

    “Fresh Air from WHYY, January 3, 2006 · Brian Walker, son of Hi and Lois creator Mort Walker, has co-edited a new book that traces the history of America’s funny pages in the 20th century. Walker now writes the Hi and Lois strip with his brother, editor Greg Walker, and illustrator Chance Browne.”

    I caught part of this earlier today…some remarkable stories about the hazards of working in two legacy strip.

  70. Marc
    January 3rd, 2006 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    Congrats Sassy!

    Summer (FW) is actually not that bad. I can see her as an ugly toddler (now) semi ugly kid, but will be a gorgeous, buxom teenage girl. I can see it. Hopefully we wont have to hear anymore about the regurgitated Cheerios “on the outside, again” again. Gah.

  71. Malcolm
    January 3rd, 2006 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    Lor,
    I want to see Springer do a show called “Old Testament Prophets Who Are Sleeping With Their Cousins”.

    Jerry: How long you been married, Abraham?

    “hundred n’ twenny years”

    “You was never there for me, Abe”

    “I was out prophesyin’, bitch, while you was at home on yore fat @ss’”

    Steve separates Abraham and Sarah whilst audience chants “harlot! Harlot! Harlot!”

  72. Lor
    January 3rd, 2006 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    Oh man! Dysfunction of Biblical proportions! I like it.

  73. Steve
    January 4th, 2006 at 5:53 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail is NOT boring; it is the funniest comic on the planet.

  74. Zorba the Geek
    January 4th, 2006 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    #64: Apologies for mistaking your gender, Sassy. (Whatever happened to that puppy in Mark Trail, anyway? Do we ever see it any more?) I used to have a cat named Sassafras, nicknamed Sassy (yes, like Luann’s cat, but I thought of it long, long ago), and that cat was female, so I leaped to the wrong conclusion. (When I first started posting, everyone assumed I was male, because of my nom de blog.)

  75. 75th poster
    January 4th, 2006 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    Would it be acceptable to point out that this is the 75th post?

    Just asking :)

  76. rich
    January 4th, 2006 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    63: I leave for a week and someone swipes my monicker! Who you, Rich??

  77. Scott
    November 18th, 2007 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    last post

  78. gnbman
    June 11th, 2013 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    Last!

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