Slylock Fox: Repeat Victims Unit
Slylock Fox, 11/27/06
Today Slylock Fox takes a break from its usual kid-friendly fare to take us on a voyage into a shadowy demimonde of sleaze and degradation. Pretty much every aspect of this drawing is magnificent, from the scantily clad nightclub ladies, to the enormous purple-suited dog-thing (presumably their pimp) boogying down behind them, to the impassive bull bouncer standing outside, to Max Mouse’s decision to wear earmuffs and a scarf but no shirt.
My question is: Is this the same beaver who got his luggage stolen at LAX a couple of weeks ago? Why is he such a frequent victim of crime? I’m guessing it’s because he looks so hilarious when he’s indignant.
Mark Trail, 11/27/06
Yeah, Mark, I’m sure he’ll be very excited to learn that Molly’s safe, especially considering that he had no reason to believe that she wouldn’t be safe, since he left her in the hands of an experienced outdoorsman and all. It’s like the time I took care of a friend’s cat when she was out of the country, and the cat had some pretty disgusting gastrointestinal problems, but I didn’t tell her about it until after I took the cat to the vet and got it all worked out. Except I sought medical attention for the cat as soon as I realized he was sick instead of leaving him in the back of an open jeep so that he could be kidnapped by morons with stupid hair. So, my point, Trail, is good luck casually playing this bearnapping incident off when you go see Buck in the hospital.
Yes, that moose is talking out of its butt in the second panel. No, I don’t know why that’s happening or how to make it stop.
Luann, 11/27/06
You know, many months ago, I completely in jest accused Sally Forth of taking payola from Target and/or Rush. I wish I could say that I have no actual suspicions about today’s Luann, but the floating little ® bug after “Home Depot” gives me the uncomfortable feeling that we’re witnessing some kind of horrifying corporate synergy in the making. The only shred of hope I have to cling to is that the ® is subscripted, not superscripted as it should be, so it practically looks like somebody’s trademarked the word “fix” (which, frankly, I wouldn’t put past Home Depot®).
Anyway, all this speculation about artistic whoredom has at least blessedly distracted me from the joke in this strip, which is the always hilarious MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS HAW HAW WHAT’RE YA GONNA DO? Because I’m feeling generous, though, I will say that Momma DeGroot’s facial expression in the second panel is pretty funny.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/27/06
Like Troy Gainer, I’m not actually a doctor, but I’m still pretty sure that nobody’s eyes look like June’s in panel two unless they’ve already consumed copious amounts of meth. I’m beginning to see why she’s so eager to hook up with Niki’s mom.
By the way, I defy anyone to come up with a good explanation for a sock lying on top of a lampshade that doesn’t involve a set dresser presented with instructions that contain the phrase “cartoonishly squalid.”
Garfield, 11/27/06
Today’s Garfield appears to contain a reference to Jon’s penis.
Apartment 3-G, 11/27/06
Today’s Apartment 3-G appears to contain a reference to one of two slang terms for Eric Mills’s penis.
Actually, it took Mrs. C., romantic that she is, to point out to me that the four-letter word to which Tommie is referring is probably “love.” In my defense, I have a hard time conceiving of “Margo” and “love” in the same sentence. Margo requires worship, and servicing. Love doesn’t really enter into the equation.
Bizarre Apartment 3-G fashion update: Tommie’s weird white-sweatshirt-over-dusty-pink-polo-shirt combo seems to be slowly morphing into a slightly kickier futuristic two-tone zip-up jumpsuit. And while Margo’s decision to wear a white micro-miniskirt to Thanksgiving dinner was ultimately successful in the rich-guy-seducing department, it was also an embarrassing gravy stain disaster waiting to happen.
Funky Winkerbean, 11/27/06
Attention, comics writers who are thinking of ending a strip with a gentle bit of punny wordplay and depicting the characters engaged in said wordplay demonstrating through their facial expressions their mild appreciation for same: we already have one For Better Or For Worse and do not require another. Thank you.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:00 am
I actually snorted at the Garfield today.
I know it’s very gauche of me, but first!
November 28th, 2006 at 2:01 am
In Slylock-Fox-berg, a man is mugged every fifteen minutes. And that man is Nameless Beaver.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:03 am
I was hoping and praying you’d mention that beaver today. I’m so happy you did. Off-panel, I’m guessing the beaver is a stuck-up rich prat who parades himself and his wealth to everyone. When someone finally does something to him, he’ll immediately indignantly seek out the local law enforcement, or Slylock Fox. So it’s the beaver’s own damn fault he’s so often a victim.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:05 am
All I want for Christmas is my own Molly Bear, *sigh* She’s just so darn cute.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:11 am
At first sight I thought the moose (’s? meeeses? meese?) were humping but they’re not :(
Thankfully Molly’s safe! :D
Oh and I think the 4 letter word is ‘kiss’ not love. (or F*** hopefully the latter! :)
November 28th, 2006 at 2:15 am
Why would seeing a moose speak from its anus be something unusual? Every character in Mark Trail is a talking asshole.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:17 am
On today’s (11/28/06) Mary Worth, one gets the eerie feeling that the next panel tomorrow will probably include the line “I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance.”
Meanwhile in FOOBville, I somehow sense this cartoon is heading for one of those really awful text message contests. “If you want Liz to marry Anthony, text message Psycho1 to …” “If you want her to marry Paul, text message DudleyDR1 to ..”. “If you want Liz to give up men completely, text message LezLiz1 to …”
November 28th, 2006 at 2:18 am
See, I drank the wrong koolaid again. Everyone else went right to Jon’s penis. I was thinking about the accordian and wondering why Garfield would call that an organ. Or why a different organ would be better. Especially since, to a cat, a budding accordionist would sound a lot like doin’ the nasty.
But, I have to admit, a nice Hammond soundtrack could really improve “Garfield.”
November 28th, 2006 at 2:23 am
#5 TJ:
I thought I saw the same thing (Mooses Humping) when I saw Monday’s Mark Trail also. I think its natural to have these illusions when one is constantly bombarded with beavers, as in Slylock Fox, today’s Mark Trail, and the entire Thanksgiving sequence in A3G.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:23 am
FW There are themes for baby showers? Other than the usual, “I got pregnant with no ability to support a child; buy me stuff” I have never experienced a theme version of this event. (When I was gainfully employed, we’d have workplace showers every time one of my female coworkers got knocked up. Generally, lots and lots of diapers were given. I don’t think anyone had enough money to buy, say, a crib or a cradle.)
I think if you’re gonna have a theme, at least be inventive. You could have a Seinfeld theme, where everyone eats Junior Mints and drinks Snapple, and every gift has to be an object that appeared in the series. Or you could have a Thomas Pynchon themed party, and let each attendee speculate about what secret organization the baby was going to join or be enslaved by. Or maybe an Ayn Rand themed one, where everyone stands around and waits for the mother to realize no one’s going to give her diaper or dime one
I admit I’m partial to that, last one, not that I agree w/ Objectivism in any way; I just disliked participating in such activities at my workplace. Call me old-fashioned, but generally friends and family are the appropriate circles for those type of reciprocal giving affairs. Work always was, to me, the people you put up with because you had to, not because you chose to have them in your life.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:26 am
Foob — with deep apologies to Sondheim and Sweeney…
Attend the tale of Anthony,
The guy who patented “wistfully.”
Lynn Johnston thinks that he is great,
But everyone else finds him easy to hate,
A very sorry dweeb to see,
Is Anthony,
The Lizard Lover of Foobville.
The Lizard dumped him long ago,
And then went bouncing from beau to beau.
He sighed and whimpered and looked around,
And then an unfortunate woman he found,
We wondered what Terese could see,
In Anthony,
The Lizard Lover of Foobville.
Give Liz someone else, Johnston,
Anyone at all!
Even fans are clapping hands
For Mounty Paul!
He married poor Terese too quick,
Then she discovered he made her sick,
And every time the chance was his,
He kept right on wistfully staring at Liz,
Terese was less than filled with glee
Re Anthony,
The Lizard Lover of Foobville!
Then a pregnancy did occur
Proving that he made love to her.
Miracle rare! What a surprise!
Thinking of Lizard and closing his eyes!
Then Terese made her big escape,
Afterward, an attemped rape,
Anthony’s chance! Just like a dream!
Walloping Erk, he’s a hero supreme!
HURRRL!
Hurl, hurl, hurl, hurl, hurl, hurl, hurl, hurl!
Attend the tale of Anthony!
A tale that none of us wants to see!
But who’s to blame? It’s really Lynn!
Like Erk, she should get it right smack on the chin
For pouring on such agony,
Through Anthony,
The Lizard Lover of Foob! Ville!
November 28th, 2006 at 2:26 am
MT — “Meanwhile, a mother beaver is…”
Aw, c’mon.
Jackel Rod is just pimping the College of Curmudgeon Cardinals with this one, isn’t he?
I haven’t bothered The Google with a search of the Intertubes, but I suspect there’s someplace where one might find more information about mother beavers.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:30 am
Family Circus: I know where Canadia is:
http://www.canstruction.com
November 28th, 2006 at 2:31 am
#13 Yes, MonkeyHawk, there is a place where one might find more information about mother beavers. It’s called Mary Worth.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:38 am
Hate to break the news but our host is wrong. Terribly, utterly wrong.
Josh, you’ve been married too long. That’s not a sock on the lampshade in Rex Morgan, M.D.. It’s a condom. A Tommie Lee condom. Used.
He probably ate asparagus earlier that day and that’s why June has the funky look on her face. Well, that and she hasn’t smelled spunk in somethin’ like 12 years with that ne’er-do-well husband of hers.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:43 am
BTW, thanks to Mrs. C. for revealing the mystery word. After Margo’s recent censored outburst, I was really beginning to believe it was the one you can say in rated ‘R’ movies but not in those rated ‘PG’. It was leading me to wonder what the world is coming to, when comics are getting away with more blatant swearing every day. Turns out it was just my own (CC-enhanced) cynicism. Whew!
So maybe that means Cassandra Cat wasn’t doing with her tail what I thought she was doing.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:44 am
Thank you for mentioning the Home Depot thing in LuAnn. It bugged me all day, and it hurts less now that I know others hurt too.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:46 am
Re17:
Though, judging by his eyes, Max Mouse was thinking the same thing.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:48 am
I haven’t followed FW on my own (sorry to say) so the unfortunate bangs and missing left arm on top of the ultra-huge pregnant belly just really strikes me as delightful.
There just really aren’t enough comics characters who are missing limbs.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:49 am
Are we sure Jon has a penis? His inability to attract women seems to indicate some kind of problem. Garfield’s chubbyness may be an indicator that’s he’s been fixed. Jon’s bizarro behavior maybe a manifestation of manhood malfunction.
Still, the strip is like the “Home Depot” thing: Garfield, after all, is just a gateway to a greeting card company.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:53 am
And, in other news, I just went over the Chron comics site and read today’s For Better or For Worse. And? LYNN JOHNSON IS DEAD TO ME.
You hear that, lady cartoonist? DEAD.
There’s no turning back now. I will rescind my condemnation on ONE condition:
Kill Robin, and all is forgiven.
AAARRRGH.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:26 am
Is it just me, or does Cassandra Cat look a bit like Samantha from Sex and the City?
November 28th, 2006 at 3:28 am
In the middle frame of today’s FOOB, whatsher name the mom shifts places with whatshis name the dad, just so there can be an artsy all-black Doonesbury-esque profile.
.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:38 am
If there’s anything more depressing than a pregnant woman with a missing arm, I don’t know what it is. Oh, wait, yes I do: the lousy pun attempting to serve as a punchline to this strip.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:32 am
Question: How did Slylock Fox discover that Cassandra’s earrings were cold? It’s not like they have little icicles hanging off of them. He’d have to feel them to be sure, which brings to mind some very unpleasant mental images. (Or pleasant, depending on your viewpoint.)
November 28th, 2006 at 4:32 am
FOOB: I don’t buy this whole “Anthony was so brave on the stand” sequence. We didn’t see any of it.
My guess: he cracked under pressure, cried, implicated Liz in a string of gangland murders and since Mom and Dad have so much invested in seeing Liz married off to the least desirable man in Canada, they covered up for him.
We’ll find out about that in a few weeks, after a Michael stands up to a mean book editor and April patronizes Shannon… some… more…
November 28th, 2006 at 4:42 am
I stared and stared at the Slylock Fox strip, sure that the solution would have something to do with the cat’s earrings being nowhere near her ears. Apparently, I suck at detecting.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:54 am
So she ran into the club seconds ago?
Why in the hell would they need the earrings then?
A) There’s no way that she could have taken off and ditched outer layers of clothes in that period of time without somebody noticing. So she probably ran into the club dressed like that and should still be shivering.
B) The bouncer is right there. Just ask him!
November 28th, 2006 at 4:55 am
19 There just really aren’t enough comics characters who are missing limbs.
OK, how about this?
November 28th, 2006 at 5:42 am
29 Mr. O’Malley: Are you sure “L’Agent Spécial Silver Shadow” is missing an arm? Unless it is clearly established in the story line in some way, it looks like he just has his hand in his pants. Also, why is he not “L’Agent Spécial L’Ombre D’Argent”? C’est étrange, vraiment.
I tremble in awe before the vastness of your encylopedic knowledge of comicdom, to have come up with this, especially at the crack of dawn.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:59 am
Please tell me how to complain to the people who distribute Luann. That Home Depot plus is REVOLTING.
MW: Mr. Dent’s “It’s of vital importance” proves yet again they’re outsourcing to India and using dog-eared phrasebooks from the ’50s.
FOOB: We can only hope that Mom’s approval of Granthony will drive Liz back to Paul. Or not. I can’t get the image out of my mind of Granthony sitting in front of the television with his little lump of tummy balancing a beer, and his black socks.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:09 am
MW: anyone notice that if you hang a cigar out of his mouth, Mr. Dent looks like J Jonah Jameson (from Spider Man) ? but I doubt there’s a cool anagram to be had, not with a plain jane name like Dent.
FOOB: FFS woman! Make your decision! I guess if Liz doesn’t marry Granthony, Her dad just might. He seems to love him more than she claims to, anyway.
FW: not being female, I’ve never been to a baby shower, but is it common practice to invite male strippers? I thought that was more appropriate for WEDDING showers.
GA: I wonder if it’s going to take another whole week now for Gertie and the government lady to catch up to Walt? or maybe Walt will be driven home by his retired comic compatriots only to arrive at the same time gertie and friend reach the retirement village.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:28 am
So the answer to the Slylock Fox conundrum requires you to feel the earrings. The drawn earrings on the cartoon character in this two-dimensional comic, where everything feels like either flat newsprint or your flat monitor. My mild annoyance with the crappiness of this comic has escalated into full-scale hatred. It is on, you furry fraud.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:45 am
11/28 Mark Trail: While Mark and company dine on gray tapered cylinders and cookies in the shape of PacMan, Molly is waiting in the jeep, about to be stolen by a dysfunctional beaver family. . .
November 28th, 2006 at 6:46 am
There is a perfectly good reason for the sock to be on the lampshade. If you’ve been out loitering on the streets, in your poor-quality shoes, you may well come home with cold, wet socks. Where better to dry your wet socks than on a nice, warm lampshade? I’d have done it as a college student, if I’d had a lamp.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:57 am
Nameless Beaver in Shylock Fox
The Silver Beaver in Mary Worth
Mother and Baby Beaver in Mark Trail
What a great Novembeaver!
November 28th, 2006 at 7:17 am
Um, she’s a cat. Those “earrings” are nowhere near her ears. She must have piercings near the hinge of her jaw to wear those.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:23 am
I hate the way Funky Winkerbean’s characters’ eyes are always half closed and they speak through the sides of their mouths through clenched teeth, their eyebrows always raised in a seedy “Know what I mean?” kinda way, when usually the situation doesn’t warrant it. No, I don’t know what you mean. You suck.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:24 am
June Morgan: “Don’t worry, I’m not moving…unlike the covering of your kitchen floor!”
November 28th, 2006 at 7:28 am
Hey, Slylock, let’s talk about search, seizure and the 4th amendment.
FW has walked way too far out on the platform of despair for any “jokes” to ever work again. It’s kind of like if a Dostoevsky novel tried to make light of the fact that everyone was drunk.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:36 am
Isn’t anyone gonna cheer Poteet? That was AWESOME, Poteet! Sing it loud!
November 28th, 2006 at 7:42 am
How did Slylock Fox get access to those earrings? I’m pretty sure he didn’t have a warrant. I’m thinking it must have taken some serious smooth-talkin’ to get that close. So here’s a mystery for you: What come-on line(s) did Slylock Fox use to convince the cat to let him fondle her ears?
November 28th, 2006 at 7:53 am
(DT)GT: Poor Bill. He gutted himself with a chainsaw and now Stormy is going to use him as a ventriloquist dummy. I confess I spent a few minutes looking at the last panel, as Stormy carries his bloody, apparently shrinking buddy to safety, wondering what music would be playing in the background. Wind Beneath My Wings? Or maybe I Will Always Love You, since they’re reenacting that scene from The Bodyguard, giving Bill the Whitney Houston role, with a chainsaw playing the role of the obsessed stalker.
If I ever start a bodyguard business, my business cards will have that final panel on them.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:05 am
I cannot stress enough that the plural of penis is penes!
November 28th, 2006 at 8:12 am
#11 Poteet – Awesomeness!
#43 Smacky – Imagining “I Will Always Love You” playing during the final panel in Gil Thorp makes it too wonderful for words.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:12 am
I used to really be bugged by the two-quick-lines-in-the-last-panel thing, when someone always squeezes in the last word to make the hard-to-read joke (particularly in Fox Trot).
But having seen the alternative for the past year or so, in which FBOFW has ended nearly every strip with a soliloquy and an extreme close-up of someone gazing into the distance in an emotional realization of the situation, I shall never complain again.
***Cue extreme close up on my face as I say “Maybe complaining makes us… human.”***
November 28th, 2006 at 8:35 am
I know all this has been commented upon far more pithily, but I have to get this off my chest, because oh my god, For Better or For Worse Parent(s), you make me so ANGRY. It’s an asshole move to begin with, pushing Anthony in a you-should-get-together kind of way when Liz is still with Paul–WHO, I might add, Ellie pushed her together with in the FIRST place–but then when she says “Stop it, I have a man in my life?” And one or the other of them says “Yes, but where is he when you need him?” DUDES. DUDES. LIZ moved away from HIM. He’s put in for a transfer just to appease her random moving whims! He’s only not dropped everything and followed her already because he’s responsible–”honest, hard-working,” the very traits John was just praising in Anthony. Quit acting like any of this is his fault, because he’s handling it the best way he can, and what did Anthony ever do for Liz? Sit around moping, marry someone else, sleazily put the moves on her when she’s convenient even though she already has a boyfriend? I don’t call that “honest” or “kind.” Jesus.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:40 am
Goddamn FBOFW. So Dudley Do-Wright should’ve taken an indefinite leave from work and hung around the courthouse with Liz every day waiting for her to eventually be called to the stand? It’s not like you’re given a precise date for this sort of thing.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:43 am
Lynn- you make me want to shell out for a passport and roundtrip ticket to Canada just to slap you.
Today’s TDIET- with editors that can’t even catch a misspelled four letter word, it’s no wonder readership is declining. That, and cartoonists that feel that they have to point out the obvious to us.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:46 am
Add me to the legions who are turning their backs on FBoFW as of today. Unless Gatormom (#31) is correct and this plot device is intended to send Lizard back to cop Paul, it’s an example of provincialism and small-mindedness at its worst.
Speaking of provincialism, please refresh my memory: Is Paul a First Nations rez-type cop, a municipal cop, or a member of the Ontario Provincial Police? If the last – and if Lizard ends up married to Granthony – then he could be down with OPP in more than one way.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:46 am
Can we discuss at some point what an unmitigated BITCH June Morgan has been for the last month? Sure, some of it is Rex’s fault – “You spent all day at the DMV? Hahahaha!” – but still…we’ve seen some all-time comics bitchiness from her.
“It’s just that we’ve been homeless ever since the hurricane forced us to swim out of New Orleans.”
“Oh, and that minor inconvenience gives you the right to inconvenience ME?!”
November 28th, 2006 at 8:47 am
MW – Is it just me, or is this Mr. Dent fellow morphing into Aldo in the last panel? He’s even got the hand gestures down, and it’d be just like Aldo to utter something as odd as “It’s of vital importance!” Oh please, let it be so!
And kudos to Poteet!
November 28th, 2006 at 8:48 am
I’m with Aerin on this one. Shouldn’t this fun mystery strip for kids actually give the kids a chance to solve the mystery based on some evidence we can see? I’m waiting for the one where the answer is: “Because Slylock totally saw him do it. Over there. Before you got here. Honest.”
November 28th, 2006 at 8:50 am
Now that I’m done laughing till I thought my kidney would fall out, I have to find a way to work the phrase “cartoonishly squalid” into my daily conversation.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:51 am
Not to change the subject, but the hole in today’s (Tuesday’s) Beetle Bailey is neither half full nor half empty. It’s completely empty.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:55 am
Dear #32…I assumed you were kidding about the stripper in FW…nope, you got it! I suppose its some kind of change from the depressing horror of Iraq storyline, but still…
I also agree with a number of people who have noted the infuriatingly smug looks on everyone in that goddam strip.
Between the manipulative, asshole Foob parents, Luann’s merchandising deal with Home Depot (r) and Santa Dong in Funky, the boiling blood helps ward off the fast encroaching New England winter…
November 28th, 2006 at 8:56 am
Why shouldn’t a sock be on the lampshade? The poor little meth rats got caught in the rain coming home from their last score. Then one of the dude’s realized he was soaked from the rain, pulled off his sock, and hung it over the lampshade to dry in the dimly warm heat of the dust-covered 40 watt bulb. See?
November 28th, 2006 at 8:57 am
Poteet, your song is entirely wonderful! Perhaps Anthony and Paul can do a duet on “Pretty Women” later in the show.
I suppose it’s asking too much of Liz to fight back and point out to her parents that Paul isn’t there because she moved four hundred miles south as soon as it got serious.
And, just to note, Anthony isn’t there at the courthouse because he Wants To Give Moral Support. He was, y’know, subpoenaed.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:59 am
Clearly, Josh, the dude that writes Luannis a Tony Stewart fan, although Luann looks like the type that would root for Kasey Kahne because OMG! He’s soooo cute!
November 28th, 2006 at 9:00 am
Worst Foob Ever. #47 says it all for me.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:04 am
Okay. I just read TDIET, and I would like to say that I might possibly be able to forgive the misspelling (”My Veiw”) if only Scaduto hadn’t written “et all.” I cannot, and I mean like NEVER, forgive “et all.” Oh-h-h yea-h-h-h-h!
November 28th, 2006 at 9:04 am
As someone who occasionally eats moose, and sees a lot of them, I’m bloody impressed by Jack Elrod’s moose in that middle panel. Most people can’t draw animals, but they can draw people – witness Lynn’s rabbit/gerbil/small dog. I own rabbits, and it seldom resembles a rabbit… Anyhow. Jack Elrod lavishes love and attention to rendering perfect critters. Andy and Molly, size problenms aside, always look suitably canine and ursinine. Jack Elrod, bucking a trend, draws very nice animals. The people, however, usually have something horribly wrong with their eyes, the same faces, and bland, annoying hair.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:04 am
MT – I loves me some butt-talking moose. Butt-talking moose are almost as good as finger-quoting Margo!
November 28th, 2006 at 9:05 am
Josh I love that you are starting to do more and more comics every day. It increases the amount of time I get to put off doing actual work! Of course there’s alwyas the comments.
Today (11/28) was brought to you by the country of Canadia. I love that FC is right above FBOFW on my Houston Chronicle comics page 1 (I have 2 because the URL is too long for all the comics I want to read): Dolly asks the question, and it is immediately answered by the Foobs…
In the real world, having your parents try to pressure you into dating some boring goody-two-shoes guy would be the surest way to guarantee that you will NOT date him, ever. In the Foob world, I’m sure Elizabeth will rush into Granthony’s arms post-haste on hearing her parents sing his praises.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:07 am
Ya know, Shylock Fox would have had it much easier if he’d just looked at Cassandra Cat’s nipples. At least, it would have prevented him from getting the snot slapped out of him for fondling her ears. Apparently, she had implants in the top two, though, so he probably would have had to look at the other 6 weird bumps on her torso.
And Jon’s penis is (forgive me) the organ I also thought of when I read that strip….
November 28th, 2006 at 9:12 am
11.28
Garfield:
Where exactly are Jon and Garfield here? Did Jon go shopping for lingerie for Liz? Somehow, given his latent homosexuality, I doubt it. Actually, his latent homosexuality explains this strip. He’s so grossed out by the thought of Liz in lingerie that he can’t eat.
But, if Jon and Garfield aren’t shopping, what is going on? Since Jim Davis feels no need to place his readers ANYWHERE, we can assume that this troglodyte saleswomen is some door-to-door swimsuit salesperson. I suppose, given Jon’s latent homosexuality, that he would be sickened by the thought of Liz in a bathing suit.
It seems that you can just make up your own Garfield today. I mean, damn, that’s artistic genius.
Well, whatever the plot, we can be certain of one thing: Jon is a world-class loser. And gay.
The Lockhorns
Just kill each other. Seriously. Just stop.
About that potluck, Leroy. It’s got arsenic in it.
FOOB
I’m trying to imagine Liz lying in bed with the Mountie and thinking of Blanthony. Now, I’m trying to keep my breakfast down.
Crankshaft
HOO BOY! Those cappuccino machines! Boy, they’re always funny! You can always get a laugh out of coffee! HOO BOY!
November 28th, 2006 at 9:15 am
Oh–and what the HELL is going on in the final panel of today’s Mark Trail?
Could Elrod have “meanwhiled” most anything? (Note my coining of the verb). I mean, couldn’t he have said, “Meanwhile, Blanthony is furiously mastrubating while watching the Teletubbies?”
I just wouldn’t want to see the panel that goes with that particular caption.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:17 am
Does anyone else question the paternity of L’spawn de Enfer? I mean, there are some serious leaps of faith required to accept Granthony as the father. One, the very idea that Granthony is actually equipped with a penis and testicles. Two, assuming number one, that Terese would permit Granthony to place said penis anywhere near her body, let alone inside her. Three, assuming, one and two, Terese, upon discovering that she had been impregnated by Granthony, didn’t run shrieking down a Toronto back alley with a wire coat hanger in one hand and a sack of Canadian scratch in the other clamoring for the nearest abortionist.
Now, imagine the spawn of a Lizard-Granthony union. Enough to put you off your Corn Flakes, isn’t it?
November 28th, 2006 at 9:20 am
You know how Charlie Brown’s clothes go flying all over the place when he gets hit with a line drive on the pitcher’s mound? One of his socks ended up on the lampshade in Rex Morgan.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:24 am
“Oh–and what the HELL is going on in the final panel of today’s Mark Trail?”
That’s the money shot. Don’t you know that a gratuitous beaver shot will boost readership by at least 10%?
November 28th, 2006 at 9:27 am
I submit that the beaver in “Mark Trail” is the same as the beaver in “Slylock Fox”. His mother kicked him out of the lodge too young, without teaching him any street smarts, and now he’s fresh meat for every petty grifter and pickpocket in the Lost Forest. “Nature red in tooth and claw” and all that. The story will end happily when he sets up a 3-card monte stand and wins the life’s savings of Kelly’s and Rick’s.
FBOFW: There are no words sufficient to convey the depth of my outrage.
FW: Normally you wouldn’t have a stripper at a baby shower, but Wally’s been off in Iraq for months so this is a special case. They should have gotten the comic store guy to play Santa, though.
MW: Arthur Dent looks rather more dignified than I’ve imagined him. But I knew he was going to show up sooner or later, ever since it was foreshadowed on December 28, 2005
November 28th, 2006 at 9:30 am
What’s worse than jumping the shark and marrying Irving?
Because that’s what Foob officially did today.
The Saintly Patterson Self Righteousness crashed and burned in ways so hideous all I can say is: bite me, Lynn.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:36 am
“By the way, I defy anyone to come up with a good explanation for a sock lying on top of a lampshade that doesn’t involve a set dresser presented with instructions that contain the phrase ‘cartoonishly squalid.’”
Well, um, you see, sometimes when you’re putting away your laundry you discover you took it out of the dryer a little too soon, and, er, incandescent light bulbs give off a lot of heat…
I think I’d better shut up now.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:39 am
Thank God that I am not the only one who read yesterday’s Garfield and concluded that the punchline was, indeed, referencing the masculine organ/s.
Somehow it still embarasses me, though…
November 28th, 2006 at 9:42 am
Yeah, if the scantily clad fox-chick was outside mere seconds ago then where the hell is her coat?
November 28th, 2006 at 9:42 am
June Morgan’s eyebrows are the result of a combination of poorly placed and too much botox. The reason she’s been such a bitch lately is that, ever since her injections two weeks ago, she’s had a screaming headache. Since she’s a nurse “practitioner”, maybe she was practicing on herself.
Now that the trial is over, Liz needs to haul her sorry ass back to mitiwiki ASAP before her meddling parents completely ruin her life. There she is, in the back seat of their car, riding home with them, while they lecture as if she is 13 years old. Wouldn’t any normal human being bolt from the vehicle at the next light? (F*** you, Mom!)
You know what would be great? A horrible car accident in the next panel. How about an ill-placed, ummm, cliff?
With regard to today’s Mark Trail, does he really plan to take Molly to the hospital to see Buck? Or am I missing something?
November 28th, 2006 at 9:44 am
Note to pickpockets everywhere: Get a slinky minidress and high heels. You’re sure not to be noticed.
And yet another annoying thing about Slylock – cold earrings don’t prove that she stole the damn wallet. Check her purse, you imbecile. There’s really nowhere else on that outfit that is capable of hiding anything unless she has a hollowed out boob.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:45 am
… And Slylock – close the damn door! It’s freezing out there!
November 28th, 2006 at 9:48 am
Mary Worthless: I’m waiting for the final line “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
November 28th, 2006 at 9:54 am
OBH: I realize this is just a setup for, essentially, a Dollyism. And I realize this is just “One Big Happy.”
But are we really supposed to believe someone wrote a children’s book about a cute little boll weevil? Who wrote it, the Polyester Council?
November 28th, 2006 at 9:54 am
My, that beaver gets screwed quite often, no?
November 28th, 2006 at 9:56 am
67 Captain,
The young beaver doesn’t understand his mother’s hostility toward him . . . .
November 28th, 2006 at 9:56 am
#44: As a Latin geek, I salute you!
“Try another organ” is an incredibly creepy sentence…
November 28th, 2006 at 9:56 am
Jump Start I usually like, but today they included not only a wholly unnecessary quote around “take out the trash” but some very confusing message about being told to take out the trash and then not being told to take out the trash (in mystical mentor speak).
Garfield’s first two panels are Jon’s daydream, and the third is Garf bringing him back to reality. Jon always gets stuck when the sales lady in his daydream thinks the outfit is for his girlfriend and not himself. It’s your daydream, Jon, pretend the sales lady is into cross dressers.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:01 am
How low did Cassandra cat have to stoop to pick that beaver’s pocket? She’s twice his height. SF should be checking for backache relievers. For that matter, given the precarious balance of one stooping so low, the beaver should have just caught her by falling on top of her. I think it was the mouse.
On FOOB, I’d take the stud mountie over Anthony any time (can you say cop fetish?), but Anthony’s not that bad. He’s a little blond and bland, but pretty doable. Maybe Liz should do a three-way?
November 28th, 2006 at 10:03 am
A3G: Margo just stole my boyfriend. Oh well, back to the studio.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:07 am
Foobs: Where is Paul DooWright when Liz needs him. Well, he’s a cop. Maybe he’s preventing other rapes from happening? Maybe, given the incessant references to sitting and endlessly waiting around for nothing to happen, he decided to stay put so that he wouldn’t waste weeks of his life like we all did following your sappy, badly-constructed story which will inevitably end with you in the arms of another man. Didja think of that, or am I just way ahead of you Liz/Lynn?
November 28th, 2006 at 10:10 am
I remember “Cathy” indulging in product placement years and years ago–there were a bunch of strips keyed to the opening of a film. “Grand Canyon,” I think. It seemed really odd at the time.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:11 am
Curtis actually made me laugh out loud twice today:
1) “M.C. Ill-Tempered”? For all that strip’s faults, the background posters always sems to be of top, erm, quality.
2) The high flat-top on Barry’s teddy bear. Holy crap they made a ‘Kid’ teddy bear.
I, like Curtis, do miss the good old days as well.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:15 am
Sorry to keep injecting my various thoughts of rage against Slylock, but the more I think of it, the more anger wells up inside of me. This is by far a more socially acceptable outlet for my hate than getting my AK47 out of the closet.
So how did Slylock and friends make it past the butch bull bouncer outside, or is he just an ornament of some kind? Could they have asked him “Hey, did anyone just run by here a minute ago?”
I do like the way the skank rabbit seems to be so pleased at the new customers that she’ll run over to offer a buy-one-get-one special on lap dances, whereas Cassandra Cat, the hottie that she is, looks upon this crew of misfits with a smile of undisguised contempt. Max Mouse looks up at her with either utter amazement that he is fabulously turned on by a species for whom he is the favorite meal, or the sullen disappointment of a life long loser who has just been turned down in a Bangkok whorehouse with a fist full of 20’s. I can’t quite decide which.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:16 am
RMMD: I was recently at a friend’s house, and to be fair, he did warn me beforehand, but his home was very much in a state of cartoonish squalor. This point was driven smartly home when he sheepishly snatched a dirty jockstrap up from the middle of the kitchen floor and tucked it away somewhere out of sight.
My point, Josh, is this: Slovenly people don’t need reasons. They just need dirty undergarments. Nature takes care of the rest.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:16 am
I just love this blog. I have been sure for months that the whole Paul/Liz/Anthony triangle was not heading the way we all feared it was heading. I had to be sure, because I knew that if Liz ended up with Anthony BECAUSE he was plain, boring, passive, and pathetic, I would lose all faith in the strip, all persons raised in the suburbs, the entire Canadian nation, and pretty much all of humanity. Then this morning … Well, the only reason I can face the world at all is because I was able to come here instantly and see that I don’t have to lose faith in humanity, because humanity is rejecting Liz-Anthony and all their coupling stands for. The verdict is still out on Canada and the suburbs, though, and the strip will have to show Liz joining the Peace Corps in order to make up for this fiasco.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:16 am
#10, I am totally with you on your co-worker comments. Our holiday party is in a couple of weeks and I would prefer having root canal than going to this thing. No way in hell I’d hang out with these people of my own accord.
11/28:
FOOB: Elly, shut the %$*@ up and mind your business. It’s not like Paul can hop in the car and be at your humble abode in 5 minutes. How dare he be a selfish jerk spending his time serving and protecting the citizens of Mtigageechee? The nerve.
FW: Can they just kill off Wally already so we can get to the pregnant widow angle? The suspense is getting to me.
JP: At this rate it will be New Year’s before we see Celeste upstage Reggie’s press conference. I hope she does a Paris Hilton and barfs all over the stage.
MT: Aw man, the beavers remind me of Namond and Delonda from The Wire. Thanks Elrod for depressing me even more.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:19 am
Is that Jerry Mathers . . . . as the Beaver.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:21 am
I think this works out for Tommie. Luann needs comforting and good ol’ Tommie is there. Margo would chew up G.O.T. and spit her out.
Say, what is Tommie short for? Tomato? Thomasina? Tampon?
June has probably seen an image of Cthulhu or Dagon or maybe just Rex passed out in the corner.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:22 am
I mentioned this yesterday, but FBOFW made a big deal about Liz and Granthony not being allowed to talk about the trial, but haven’t they spent the last month or so talking about nothing else? I’d love it if the defense lawyer had a detective following Liz and gets the charges thrown out after showing hours of videorecordings of them discussing the attack over and over again.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:25 am
The nightclub in Slylock Fox reminds me of Fritz the Cat for some reason…not that I’ve ever watched that filth – heh, heh.
Foob – is the statement in the last panel coming from her mother or her father? Not that it matters, but it’s not totally clear to me.
And I’m not saying that Paul needs to drop everything and run to Lizard’s entire trial, but has he come to see her even once since she moved home? There was one Sunday strip that showed them hiking together (one would assume they were in Mtig) but beyond that…I don’t know.
I’m not defending Lynn Johnston’s blatant Anthony worship, but maybe Paul needs to be working a little harder.
Maybe he’s too busy cheating on Liz with the powwow girl?
Here’s how it’s going to play out. We’re going to segue to another storyline for a few weeks (Mewwidiff and Wobin? Stroke Central? Battle of the Bands?), Liz is going to go up to Mtig for Xmas, and realize that either the magic is gone, or find Paul en flagrante with another woman, come home in time for New Year’s and end up in Blandthony’s sinewy arms at midnight.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:26 am
Any “Gilmore Girls” fans here also seeing the FOOB parallels?
Liz (woman who is ultimately flaky despite often showing independent tendencies) = Lorelai
Anthony (dopey childhood sweetheart her parents love) = Christopher
Francie/Francoise (daughter ditched by annoyed career-oriented mom) = Gigi
Terese (annoyed career-oriented mom) = Sherri
Paul (Mr. Right-turned-underdog) = Luke
November 28th, 2006 at 10:29 am
Thanks to today’s strip, the anti-FOOB sites are imploding faster than a Michael Richards/Mel Gibson combined meltdown.
Y’know, what would be sadder is if Liz was as self-aware as the Will Ferrell character in “Stranger Than Fiction” that her life has been [MARGO]ed up by Lynn.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:29 am
I … HATE … HAAAATE … the fucking Pattersons. “Where is he when you need him?” In the middle of NOWHERE doing his JOB! You! Dick!Brains!
My white-hot fury at Foobville has taken my normal overinflated wordplay away from me. All I have left is the words “dick” and “fuck” over and over sotto voce. Which is hilarious, considering that Granthony has none and Liz doesn’t.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:29 am
Today’s Beetle is the result of “dig it” being used by the early 60’s beat poets as a term used to describe philosophical conversations. For the past four and a half decades, Mort has been working feverishly, scratching his head, tweaking it ever so slightly, and you now see the product of all those years of effort coming to their stupendous climax. Wow.
Yesterday used the ancient technique where the characters appear to be shocked and stunned at a crappy punchline. So the AOL guy goes to the crapper. Doesn’t everybody?
November 28th, 2006 at 10:32 am
The Home Depot (R) thing is skeevy, but Big Papa DeGroot trying to reclaim his lost masculinity via power tools is terrif. The guy’s got what he apparently thinks is a fixer-upper on his hands, and the first thing he goes out and buys is…a router.
If this doesn’t end with Dad electrocuted and Brad at the business end of a nail gun, then Evans isn’t even trying.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:33 am
Tuesday’s MT: Man, Elrod sure knows how to keep the suspense up. I don’t think anyone – and I mean ANYONE – expected a beaver-eviction cliffhanger like this, hot on the heels of the Black-Market Bear-Parts Bonanza.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:34 am
Of course, if Slylock tried to touch, Cassandra’s earring, she would give him a hit in his reproductive organ–wherever it is on a cartoon fox.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:36 am
A3G: Just to put my vote out there, I thought the magic 4 letter word was “Alan”.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:36 am
11/28 A3G: Cup ‘O’ Joe’s 24-7 is apparently an eerie, Edward Hopper-like diner in a surreal world between life and death. That’s why Ray Milland is pouring the joe and John Lennon is creeping up behind Luann. A good place for coffee, when you are on your way to the ghost-haunted studio.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:43 am
Hey, correct me if I’m wrong here, but aren’t earrings supposed to go in your ears. Therefore, if you’re a cat and your ears are on top of your head, isn’t that where the earrings should be. Cassandra cat has hers dangling by her neck, which would seem to indicate that the skin on her temples is pierced. What kind of club is this, and how are parents supposed to explain it to the kiddies theoretically reading Slylock Fox?
Don’t even get me started on HTF we’re supposed to know these “earrings” are cold.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:52 am
Am I the only one bothered by the fact that Rusty appears to be wearing his Boy Scout uniform to the dinner table? I base this off of his lovely blue neck-kerchief thing.
God, Rusty is going to have problems meeting girls when he’s older. I imagine hime trying to impress his classmates with stories about how awesome his dad is for cold-clocking criminals with a single punch and all of his adventures with trained bears and so forth, and not understanding why the guys who drink beer are more popular than he is.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:53 am
A3G: That’s supposed to be a white mini-skirt? I thought that she had lost her skirt in the impromptu park-grope, and came home in just her slip.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:56 am
I suspect that Slylock is the real criminal mastermind here. Seriously, how often do you find a detective so soon after the crime, so near the scene, that he can nab the perp before her earrings warm to room temperature? It’s a classic two-person grift, and that pathetic beaver is suckered again and again by it.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:57 am
As Woody Allen sez: “The heart— my second-favorite organ.”
November 28th, 2006 at 10:59 am
#11:
Awesome, Poteet.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:01 am
Amazing the number of commentors who mentioned putting a wet sock on a light to dry it. This needs to be submitted for a ‘pluggers’ cartoon post-haste.
FOOB: I’m speechless. Everyone else here already said it better than I possibly could.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:01 am
Amazing the number of commentors who mentioned putting a wet sock on a light to dry it. This needs to be submitted for a ‘pluggers’ cartoon post-haste.
FOOB: I’m speechless. Everyone else here already said it better than I possibly could.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:01 am
# 38 Maybe the Funky people are trying to be more Sally Forth-ish, trying to be all sneaky-sly and all..
November 28th, 2006 at 11:03 am
sorry about the duplicate comment. not sure how that happened.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:05 am
Earrings? Looks like she has special hooks implanted into her jaw since her ears are on top of her head. Congrats to Slylock for celebrating body piercings!
November 28th, 2006 at 11:06 am
The Nancy Pelosi in “Prickly City” looks like Hillary Clinton.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:15 am
The FBOFW characters all look like Muppets. Lobotomized Muppets. Lobotomized Muppets that have all been struck in the head with a baseball. It’s weird, they didn’t always look like that.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:20 am
A3G: Because it was Margo, I was thinking words in the “pain” family, like maim, kill, harm, and hurt. Like what she’s going to do to Eric’s spirit.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:28 am
Thanksgivingdinnerwasawonderfulidealuannthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!
I believe the four-letter word Tommie is hinting at is “meth”.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:29 am
85: Lloyd S: There’s three basic problems with Anthony:
1. His “romance” with Liz is clearly the result of authorial fiat, rather then growing naturally from their characters.
2. He looks way too much like her dad.
And, the one that really gets me…
3. He’s clearly a pervert.
Now, I like perverts as much as the next guy, and if his kink was out in the open, it would be fine. But he’s INCREDIBLY deep in the closet, which makes me think his kink is something horrible, like child porn or snuff films. Something he has to hide.
I just can’t get over this feeling. If he’d finally dress up in leather and fishnets and give Liz a thourough paddling all this tension would be released, and I could go ahead and like the guy, but until then, he just completely creeps me out.
Anyway, on to the comics:
Prickly City: DAMN IT PRICKLY CITY! I’ve been reading you for months, and I have a soft spot for you because you’re a conservative comic not written by a soulless Lich, but THIS IS THE SAME DAMN PELOSI JOKE YOU’VE USED EVERY TIME YOU’VE MENTIONED HER IN THE LAST THREE MONTHS!
You’re on notice, Prickly City! If you don’t come up with a Nancy Pelosi joke that involves more then pointing out that she’s unnatractive then you’ll be in big trouble! And it better not be about how she lives in San Fransisco, either. You have to use her actual words or actions.
The fact that it’s a guest artist is no excuse.
Popeye: Is this STILL the same Sweat Pea Popeye Olive Oyl love triangle that’s been going on since sometime in August? Jesus, this is taking forever.
Also, none of those guys look any tougher then Brutus or Bluto or whatever his name is.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:30 am
Thank you, everyone, for giving coherence to my incoherent rage at FOOB today. It ticked me off but I couldn’t figure out why until I read this commentary– SHE left Mgtakwi! Oh, and Anthony sucks. But mostly it’s that Paul isn’t there by HER choosing.
Also: in A3G today, did LuAnn wander into a 50’s soda fountain on her way into the coffee shop? It would explain why the “jerk” looks confused– she orders a coffee and muffin, and all he’s got is ice cream and phosphates.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:34 am
MT: I’m guessing some more mulleted poachers are being a little hard on the beaver.
FOOB: I’m guessing mere and pere Patterson never want Liz’s beaver to ever see any fun.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:36 am
92. Dactyl, and everyone else who is enraged by today’s foob, should read the foobiverse entry for today and the ensuing comments. I’ve never seen so much anger generated by a comic strip.
http://community.livejournal.com/binky_betsy/
November 28th, 2006 at 11:36 am
MT – the moose in yesterday’s strip are clearly fleeing in terror lest they get sucked into this gawd-awful storyline. Today, we seque to a new, socially conscious storyline on the problems of teenage beavers, where Ma is kicking out the little hussy for getting herself knocked up and probably smoking pot as well.
The weeks ahead will feature Mark pontificating on the problems that can arise from unrestrained teenaged beavers and how everyone should just leave them alone. Kelly will pipe in with something like “Wow, I never knew beavers could be so troublesome!” to which her Talking Vagina will retort “Oh, don’t be such a twit! Hey Mark? Wanna go for a drink?”
November 28th, 2006 at 11:37 am
Oh, also, has anybody noticed how absolutely margo-ing huge Slylock’s feet are?
Cassandra has daintly little normal feet, but Slylock has a pair of shapeless lozenges that are easily as long as one of Cassandra’s arms.
I wonder what his legs look like… are those bellbottom pants, or are they normal pants hanging over his freakishly shaped legs?
November 28th, 2006 at 11:37 am
11/28 Herb and Jamal: Aw, girl, why you gotta be changing Krazy Kat’s gender like that? It’s true that about 5% of the time, Krazy Kat was called “she,” but the rest of the time he was clearly a “he.” (And he loved the male Ignatz Mouse, and was loved in return by the male Officer Pupp). We don’t need your heterosexist revisionist history messing around with our classic surreal comics.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:38 am
122. Anthony looks dead on like the pedophile father/filmaker in “The Butterfly Effect”
November 28th, 2006 at 11:39 am
#119 Am I the only one who has noticed the split between ’seriously’ drawn and comically drawn FOOB characters? The parents are cartoon characters (complete with noses that look like they’d honk when squeezed) while the children/grandchildren/OPP Dudly Dooright (Paul) are more serious looking, more defined features, stylized hair, etc. Granthony on the other hand looks like a parody of Ned Flanders…
November 28th, 2006 at 11:41 am
Edit to 130: I didn’t mean to imply that I was the only one to notice that, I meant to ask who else has noticed it.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:42 am
I felt my screen and was unable to discern an appreciable difference between the temperature of the earrings and anything else on the screen.
Is it different in the print version? Are they now printing in conductive ink? Better yet, why not just replace this comic with a panel that says, ” Hey kids! You’re a bunch of dumb-asses and will never figure this out!” that should help save some ink.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:43 am
128: Also, Although I’ve only found collections of the sunday strips, I think Ignatz would’ve thrown bricks at Krazy’s head even if he/she din’t care about him at all.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:45 am
A3G – No, sir, you’re mistaken that’s Lu Anne from A3G, sir, Blondie’s in a different comic. You seem to have gotten lost. Try ask Rat from PBS, he seems to know his way around the comics pages pretty well.
FC – Ha! Our nations geographic illiteracy is so hillarious!
MT – This abrupt transition to a storyline about beavers is just too entirely apt. I hope Kelly Welly becomes involved in it somehow. That would be so AWESOME.
MF – Good to see Tinsely taking the election defeat in stride, syndication delay notwithstanding.
Foob – Liz, you’re parents are now officially creepy.
MW – I’m very disapointed that Ella’ vistor isn’t wearing a bow-tie, for some reason. Given his demenour, I immediately started looking for which blunt object he’s going to “send her to Aldoville” with once her advice prooves inadequate for his vital situation — though no such is immediately visible. Then it struck me — okay it didn’t STRIKE me but … nevermind — I have feeling that “Citizen Cane” will be involved in Ella’s increasingly likely untimely demise. That’s right my prediction is: Mr. Dent, in the living room, with the walking cane.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:47 am
128 JohnboyDC: amen.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:48 am
“Anthony is honest, hardworking, smart, funny and kind.”
“Funny”…
…riiiiight…
Please elaborate, Dr. P: Would that be Leonard Cohen-funny or Sylvia Plath-funny? Ingmar Bergman-funny or Schindler’s List-funny? Exactly what kind of a laff-riot is Anthony?
November 28th, 2006 at 11:51 am
How much more farfetched can Slylock Fox possibly get? The temperature of the earrings? The answer might as well be, “The earrings have a hidden microchip that records the wearer’s pulse and respiration rate, serving as a polygraph that reveals the cat is lying,” or “The silver earrings are actually totems for Veritor, the Comics God of Truth, who will turn them into brass as a sign that He is displeased with the cat’s lies.”
November 28th, 2006 at 11:53 am
Wait, I think the last panel in MT is telling us that Mark is about to evict his son.
#132: I was so upset about the gender swap that I didn’t notice how badly they screwed up the basic dynamic of Krazy Kat. In fact, if she really knew her KK, she would know that any bricks thrown at Herb would just be seen by him as signs of love.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:55 am
As a writer, the (R) in Luann really, really annoys me more than it should, because it isn’t necessary. Some spineless pinprick brain at the syndicate probably made the artist put it in “so we don’t get sued,” even though a) Home Depot probably doesn’t give a damn, they’re happy Lowe’s (a far better store BTW) wasn’t used instead, and b) it is not required.
I only find relief in Papa DeGroot’s expression, which looks as if he’s about to lay the smack down on the misses for fagging up his cart.
Allie Cat’s comment on the future of FBOFW brought to mind a horrifying end to the strip. At that pace, Allie, we can expect to see a marriage proposal on New Year’s Eve (awwww), followed by a wedding (awwwww!) with plenty of hilarious strips in between with mom getting frantic, and little sis full of cute observations about the wedding process.
Yep, a June wedding will give Lynn time to bury grampaw and end the strip.
A Sars epidemic is looking better every day. I think I’ll go out and sneeze on some chickens.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:56 am
Is Dolly Keane’s Canadian friend Robin Patterson?
November 28th, 2006 at 12:01 pm
i’m glad to see other people were as infuriated by FOOB today as i was. where was paul when liz needed him? in mitigawhateverki, right where she left him. i hope we get to see a knock-down drag out fight where paul finally tells liz where to go, but it’ll never happen.
argh.
oh, and the home depot plug in Luann really bugged me too.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:02 pm
Hmmm. Mark Trail constantly refers to Buck Jones as “our friend” or “my friend”. Anthony is continually referred to Elizabeth as “your friend”.
Mark is sweet on Buck. That would explain no reaction from Kelly Welly’s big fat tongue kiss.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
Sheilagh, Summerhouse, John, Oceanology, and Tom, you are too kind. Thank you.
FOOB — I was going to rant about the stupidity of blaming Paul, but other CCs have done it very well. With this strip, I abandon the illusion that Liz’s parents are any more bearable than she is. You ALL suck, Foobians!
GA — I wish this strip were a little more subtle in its depiction of sweat, or at least didn’t fling it around every day. Yuck.
RMMD — Many purse-snatching victims feel lucky if they don’t have to spend more than a few days trying to avoid identify theft and replacing what needs to be replaced. June has a much higher standard of indignation. Obviously this is June’s world and the rest of us are just living in it.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
Unfortunately, my shoe-less, indignant, pointing beaver friend, your friend detective Fox has once again reached a conclusion based on evidence that would be totally in-admissible in a court of law. When are you going to stop trying to build flimsy cases on incorrectly set wrist watches and the temperature of fashion accessories and start doing some real detective work, Slylock?
November 28th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
That might not have been Funky, but it was totally Winkerbean.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
Slylock – Answer – Cats are shiftless and of poor moral character. If she didn’t steal the wallet, she surely stole something else. If the search turns up clean, plant a crystal rock on the be-otch. Teach them kids about the real world law enforcement. Law and Order – Life on the Streets – a entry in the Law and Order franchise.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
Popinjay – By “our” friend, Mark is clearly communicating that Buck is a fellow member of the Lost Forest mafia. Since Kelly Welly’s unpredictability makes her an unacceptable risk, perhaps we can look forward to seeing her tearfully scrambling through the leaves on all fours as Rick draws his Beretta to bust a couple caps in her skull. Then they can all go back to the Bada Bear for a Lapp dance – which in Lost Forest probably involves a grizzled Finlander.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:37 pm
I think I recognize those beavers in today’s Mark Trail from an old Partnership for a Drug-Free America public service announcement.
Mother beaver: Did you even look for a job today?
Grown child beaver (hiding joint and supressing coughing fit): No, Ma, the guy was supposed to call me.
This may be the first time I’ve ever started a statement with the phrase “I think I recognize those beavers…”
November 28th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
Shylock Fox-I’m with you guys. Poirot, Jessica Fletcher, Sherlock Holmes, and Inspector Morse all working as a team wouldn’t figure out the answers to the “mysteries” in this wretched comic strip.
FBOFW-I think the reason the “artwork” in this strip has gone downhill is because Lynn Johnson doesn’t draw the strip anymore. She’s probably got an employee drawing it for her, desperately trying to get as close to Johnson’s style as possible. Either that, or Johnson is drinking lots of that homemade Canadian moonshine before sitting down at the drawing board. Or it’s the inevitable crappiness that sets in like rigor mortis in every comic strip that is way, way, past its prime.
Seriously, Elly Patterson, shut up. Just shut up. Go vacuum your house or drink some coffee, you do-nothing empty-nester. Or better yet, try getting rid of that horrible @#$%&*$ hair bun you wear everywhere except to bed. You are way too young to be going around looking like a Victorian-era schoolteacher.
The only way this strip could be vindicated in my eyes would be for Paul to recruit The Phantom and Mark Trail, and head on down south to kick Anthony’s shapeless butt all the way to Nova Scotia, and then bust, like, 1,000 caps in him.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
I don’t know about the rest of you, but if this story line ends in Paul the Mounty beating Granthony’s Foob ass to a bloody pulp, I for one, am totally ready to forgive Lynn and even allow her to marry Liz to whatever loser she likes sans complaint.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:48 pm
#44:
An acceptable variant is “penii”.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:50 pm
Re #149 -
(A la Rod and Todd Flanders): Yayyyy! Bloody pulp Foob ass!
November 28th, 2006 at 12:51 pm
MT – Yep, the kid’s outta there. When a boy wears a blue kerchief around his neck, it is time he strike out on his own. The ascot is what drove Fred to take the Mystery Machine out on the road.
A3G – It looks like Eli Wallach is going to be in the next plot. Luann will start looking more like Clint Eastwood.
MW – My prediction is that the slick hair, pencil mustache, black suit makes Mr. Dent a gambler or John Waters. He will want Ella to pick some winners or to resurrect Divine. Mary will step in and either bore him to death or “intervention” him, or get a sex change AND breast augmentation. Ella will leave to hide her powers until the world is ready for them, or get transgendered to be Mary’s gay lover. Charterstone is in the Twilight Zone or Baltimore.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
A3G — As a relative newcomer to this strip, I am intrigued by those little curved lines on the girls’ faces, which seem to move around from day to day. Sometimes the lines seem to indicate high, classic-beauty cheekbones. Other times, as in one strip last week, they seem to indicate that Margo looks, in person, like a chipmunk.
Ordinarily I’d say “women,” not “girls,” but in the case of A3G, that would obviously be ridiculous.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
I guess the “how are you supposed to tell the earrings are cold and how did Slylock himself know” angle has already been covered, so I’ll settle for remarking that, being a cat, shouldn’t she have six or so breasts? More than two, anyway?
November 28th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
I don’t read FW at all. I thought it was a drawing error. But it’s not, is it? That pregnant woman really does have one arm?
November 28th, 2006 at 1:18 pm
Hey Josh:
Now that you are a celebrity and pundit (LA Times, Wonkette, here, etc.) I assume you now pull a lot of weight in the comics realm. Dont you have some way of turning that noteriety into something really good for the sake of cartoon humanity? Such as, I dont know, assembling and forwarding the comments here to Lynn Patterson and / or giving her your opinion?
November 28th, 2006 at 1:21 pm
FBOFW: Flames! Flames! On the side of my face!
Everyone has already articulated all the myriad problems with today’s strip far better than I ever could. The only way this storyline could resolve itself to my satisfaction is if Anthony and Paul abandon Liz for each other when they finally meet.
There are places we can’t return. There are lies we have to tell. An’ there are truths we can’t deny.
Sadsack Mountain.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Josh, only evildooers refer to the famous Woods and Wildlife writer and all around heroic outdoorsman as “Trail”. You have facial hair, too…
Slylock Fox had better be careful exiting that strip club if it’s in NYC.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:25 pm
A plugger dryer is a table lamp.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:25 pm
A3G:
I’m throwing hats and WHAT?? into the four letter word possibility ring.
And here’s a candidate for Gina’s-Real-Life-Counterpart.
http://www.nuvaring.com/consumer/global/tvcommercial.asp
Honestly, I can’t get away from this damn commercial and its stupid rhyming. Am I being too touchy if I wonder why birth control commercials need to sound dumbed down and patronizing? I wonder what those radical feminists in 3G would have to say…
November 28th, 2006 at 1:25 pm
Slylock Fox: The Beaver owns Halliburton. So he deserves to be robbed.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Yes, that’s right officer, a pickpocket stole my wallet while I was tied to a bed and covered with mayonaisse at the Beavers Only Hotel.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:32 pm
#153 Poteet -
Belated congratulations on post #11, especially:
“Miracle rare! What a surprise!
“Thinking of Lizard and closing his eyes!”
Hee, hee, hee!
Re: A3G facial dysmorphia, my theory is that the artists attach predrawn mouths long after sketching, photocopying or rubber-stamping in the rest of the face. I imagine racks of lips à la Wallace and Grommit’s Ardman Studios, ready for any expression: pouty, depressed, confused. . . . There’s a whole separate rack for Margo: disdainful, supercilious, icy. . . .
November 28th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
It’s good to know that I’m not the only one to have snickered at Garfield’s (presumably unintentional) double entendre.
Also, I haven’t been paying much attention to Funky Winkerbean, but I saw that strip in the paper and I thought “oh, the world’s first pregnant man!” I know it’s mean, but for god’s sake, look at her!
November 28th, 2006 at 1:37 pm
The pregnant woman in FW could be the drummer for Def Leppard!
November 28th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
#150 – But “penes” is actually good Latin whereas “penii” is, well, not based on much of anything more than sounding funny. Which is, admittedly, not a trivial virtue.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
In other news:
MT Little known fact : In the original version of this strip, the third panel had Rusty saying “Where’s Molly now?” to which Mark replies “In the back of my jeep” and Kelly, looking out the window, gasps “She’s gone!”
The editors at Kingfeatures had Elrod sedated. Enter beavers.
MW Another little known fact: The internet anagram server reports 45,345 hits in the last 12 hours of people looking for anagrams of “dent”.
For future reference, here they are:
dent
tend
Damn you Giella, you’re not giving us much to work with here. But has anyone noticed Mr. Dent looks like Alex Trebek?
JP Um, isn’t the phrase “he’ll turn this election into a one-man race” a euphemism for masturbation?
November 28th, 2006 at 1:44 pm
#135: Lol. I nominate Jerry Lewis in “The Clown Who Cried” funny. Or Woody Allen’s “Interiors” funny. Or, Funky Winkerbeen funny.
Btw, do the Parents Foob remember WHY their beloved Granthony was even at the crime scene? As in, driving over to propose an adulterous affair? What a swell guy.
MW: Why is Ella hanging out with the dad from the Brak show?
November 28th, 2006 at 1:46 pm
As a Canadian, I am deeply ashamed.
Forgive us, Lynn knows not what she does….
November 28th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
169 – King, we in the States are ashamed of Dolly for calling the Great White North “Canadia”.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
Phantom – So why would anyone think it’s necessary to put a jet through violent maneuvers to shake off someone clinging to the outside? Aside from the obvious lack of drag-inducing handholds on the smooth surface, wouldn’t any pilot just leisurely cruise up to about 35,000 ft., where the (a) lack of oxygen (b) 40 below zero temperatures and (c) 500 mph windspeed would surely take care of the job?
Sweaty boss: “You fool! He’s clinging to the outside of the plane!”
Pilot – “Guess he’s fucked, then.”
November 28th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Brilliant, Poteet.
Maybe there’s a way that we could collect every FOOB comment here and send them directly to Lynn’s e-mail address?
November 28th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
No matter how many times Josh puts up Slylock Fox I will never, never, never make it part of my daily reading.
Speaking of which, due to discovering this blog a couple of months back I’ve been following Apartment 3G daily and this is the first time I’ve ever seen Margo happy, … and it feels kind of weird.
The Beetle Bailey joke with the ped walking out of the men’s room was done in Mad magazine decades ago and certainly has appeared in Zippy a few gazillion times. And it was funnier then too.
What kind of sound does “PLL-T” from Blondie represent? I suppose Dagwood should be given credit for carpooling all those years before it was environmentally trendy. It will be interesting to see if his city ever gets public transit, then they could make weeks of Dagwood missing his bus jokes.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:57 pm
On Foob: I’m surprised that Anthony was so good on the witness stand (we never get to see the good stuff like Mike Patterson’s supposedly hilarious article about his neighbors). If I were the defense attorney, I would have pushed and made him admit that although Howard was stalking Liz, Anthony was double stalking.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:59 pm
Just wanted to chime in on the greatness of Poteet’s Sweeney song……..
November 28th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
166 – Actually, according the Alternative Latin Dictionary, “mentulae” would be good Latin — unless we’re talking about tails and not male members.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Mr. and Mrs. Foob show their true colors….
November 28th, 2006 at 2:05 pm
Foob: No one (including Liz, Ma P, or Lynn Johnson Divine Goddess of the Foobiverse) seems to remember that Elle Patterson hooked Paul DooWright up with Liz in the first place. Yeah, Liz, you’re an adult with a career, but why don’t you let your mother’s precocious, vicarious man chasing desires choose your dates for you? That way you’ll serve as a fantastic role model for young women everywhere.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
159 – Are we implying the star-fish hairdo people are pluggers? And that pluggers work in meth labs?
November 28th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
MW: Check out his hand, Mr. Dent is representing his set, “The Moustache Crips”
November 28th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
“Smart and funny and kind…” Funny? After Pa Patterson’s very depressing talk with Granthony, I think that either John’s sense of humor involves jumping off buildings or taking mass quantities of prescription medicine, or maybe he just kept daydreaming of trains while Granthony morosely said “I feel like such a loser.”
November 28th, 2006 at 2:12 pm
#164, no need to apologize. That pregnant woman in FW looks like Matthew Broderick with a mullet.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
I am incandescent with rage at the petty smallminded idiocy in FOOBville today.
Laura (# 47), you should lead our delegation to Lynn Johnston, since you summed it all up so well.
As for me, I’m gonna bite her.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
FBOW– Look Dudley DoRight is too busy boffing the new school teacher back in First nation village to bother coming down to see Liz. So she may as well resign herself to granthony and a life of perpeotual boredom. Unless Warren swoops down in his heliocopter to save the day, Liz may as well just give it up. You know, come to think of it, with all of these boyfriends she’s had lately, maybe she is a slut. She should just run off to work in a strip club in Windsor and hope he dad is a big tipper.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:20 pm
183 – “Lately”? I disremember when Liz met Warren, but it seems it’s gotta be a couple years ago at least, in non-FOOB time. Two BFs and a (platonic) reunion with an old
art-gum eraserboyfriend hardly makes Liz the ‘ho of the century.November 28th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
168: Do the Parents Foob remember WHY their beloved Granthony was even at the crime scene?
Good question —
“And how is it that you happened to stumble upon Ms. Patterson and her alleged stalker?”
“Well you see, I, um…I was…uh, stalking her!”
98, NicoleMN6: Ah, but the difference is that Luke and Lorelai will eventually end up together. Luke’s FOOB equivalent, sad to say, would be Anthony — the quiet one who’s been carrying a torch since the very beginning. Christopher, not Mountie Paul, is the momentary distraction.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:30 pm
A3G — “Hey Blondie” What’s up with that? Is Dagwood putting the moves on LuAnn? Methinks LuAnn ain’t the only one looking for a “muffin” to go.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:31 pm
Oh, Luann…I’m not exactly a fan of stale Mars/Venus gags in the first place, but the shocked reactions in the last panel make no sense. If you’re remodeling a house, you will indeed need both tools and decorating materials. Why are the parents horrified to discover that, between them, they got everything they needed at Home Depot (R)?
FOOB-wise, I hate Anthony more than I thought it was possible to hate a fictional character. I used to laugh at those hardcore comic-book nerds who rant and rave about their hatred of a particular Green Lantern or whatever, but now I know I have more loathing in my soul toward Anthony than the entirety of Hal’s Emerald Advancement Team has toward Kyle Rayner.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
Oh god. If this turns into a Gilmore Girls forum I’m going to go hang myself with Granthony’s moustache hairs.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
135: Granthony is Johnny Hart-like funny.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
Blanthony is like Emo Phillips funny.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:47 pm
#67 – Captain Insano, have you seen that LaaLaa on Dipsy action? Eh-oh eh-oh!
November 28th, 2006 at 2:50 pm
FBoFW: Piling on, i shall.
The reason Liz hasn’t come to the defense of her dis-Mountie in Mtighekawi is that her lips are still smarting from the collagen injection she gave herself somewhere between panels 2 and 5.
http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/archives/002162.php
PS: #11 — You are reet, Poteet!
PPS: (DT) Foob!
November 28th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
Granthony is the kind of guy all us late-bloomers feared we would have to settle for, during our high school days. Trust me, NOBODY goes back to one of those after sampling something more exciting! What can I compare it to? Dieting so hard that you actually prefer melba toast to creme brulee? Please.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
#152 — if that’s John Waters, he’s wearing a fat suit.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
AG3: Love that first panel. Margo and Lu Ann hug while Margo reaches around to tweak Tommie’s nipple. Hot stuff! I’m thinking that Eric just got Margo in the mood for an after-turkey ménage à trois.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
God, I hate “mysteries for kids” where the solution is not based on anything that it’s possible to deduce from what you’re given. How are we supposed to know that the earrings are cold? I don’t see any way to tell. It reminds me of a “Two-Minute Mysteries” book I had as a kid by Donald J. Sobol, the author of the “Encyclopedia Brown” books. Not only did it have stupid answers like the Slylock Fox cartoon, but it even made some of them sexist. My personal favorite was the one where a woman is determined to be lying about her whereabouts because she claimed to have put a new fur coat into storage in midsummer, when “any woman receiving her first mink would have to take it out and purr over it, even in summer.” Oh yeah, of COURSE! How silly of me to overlook that!
November 28th, 2006 at 3:13 pm
Perhaps a more appropriate final panel in FW, based on the unexpected male-stripper-at-the-baby-shower plot would be: “OK, we’ll be there with jingling balls on.”
November 28th, 2006 at 3:16 pm
Curtis: I’ve been sitting here wondering…When exactly was Curtis ever “hardcore?” This is the same guy who practically wets himself and shrieks like a little girl every time he bumps into Derrick and “Onion.” Also I believe if he was as ‘G’ as he imagines himself to be, he wouldn’t just be imagining this fantastic relationship with Michelle. He wouldn’t have to daydream all Granthony style. Shelly would just be one in a long line of bitches, cuz that’s how he rolls, yo!
November 28th, 2006 at 3:18 pm
198. So the truth is out. Curtis is more white -n- nerdy than ridin’ dirty.
Thank you wierd Al for your best parody in a couple of years.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
?!?!?!?!?!? You mean she wouldn’t? Geez, I onced served on a jury where we hung somebody because of that. I’m so, so terribly sorry….
November 28th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
I don’t see what is so far-fetched about Slylock noting the metal earrings and checking to see if they are cold. I actually like this strip. But I enjoy Weber’s Six Differences and True or False strips more.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:20 pm
Oops, above was supposed to reference #196/1000 lemons.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
#169 – it’s okay, VGCats more than makes up for FBFW in terms of Canadian comic output.
And thank you God that FBFW is going to end. It’s been hounding me throughout my life – not only is FBFW a maudlin, poorly-written soap opera in strip form, but, unlike other such strips (JP, MT, etc.,) it’s not even well-drawn. It has NO redeeming qualities, yet it has been on every comics page of every newspaper I’ve ever read in my life, the whole fifteen years I’ve known how to read. Since I was small it mocked me from its lofty top-of-the-page perch. “Mommy?” I would ask. “I don’t get this one. Why isn’t it funny?” But still FBFW would smirk and continue its existence, the sheer wrongness and injustice of which would drive me near to the brink. And now…oh sweet merciful Jesus, it’s ending. IT’S ENDING!
November 28th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
#122 — Olive Oyl heads to the docks to find a champion who will beat up Popeye.
DINGO! Look! There’s BEARS hanging around the docks! And some of those sailormens will prefer you over Olive…
November 28th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Home Depot does not carry wall paper. They have phazed it out. I was looking for wallpaper recently at Home Depot, and my wife thought I was nuts. Apparently, Wall Paper went out of fashion in the 80’s(?). Having wallpaper in your house is like having a mullet haircut, apparently (or wearing Crocs…).
November 28th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
I once hid a stuffed animal from my little brother by putting it on top of a lamp that was high off the ground. Sadly, the animal was too close to the lightbulb, which burned a hole in it. This trauma was one of many that led him to become a meth addict later in life. Coincidence, or Rex Morgan storyline?
November 28th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
wow…just feels so GOOD to read the other comments on FBOFW.
I can just imagine a book worth of other people’s versions of the dialog baloons in that one strip.
Elly sitting in the car, rambling on while Liz looks back at her, just thinking to herself, “Sure, you menopausal fool, you should talk…you scaled the heights all the way to ’shopping mall knick-knack storeowner’, you married a loser, boring dentist… for Gods sake why is Dad still wearing that stupid hat and playing with trains!…The man actually gets joy in only following a toy move around the same damn tracks, each day off he gets… I hate you both, I hate you…you won’t know my plans…hahaha..marry Anthony!?! Never!”
November 28th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
Say–what happened to Curtis’s little brother’s “imaginary” friend (alert Finger-Quotin’ Margo).
Is it real? Does Barry have a demon living inside of him?
We can only hope.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
#97: what would make it even better if instead of finding Paul en flagrante with another woman, she found him en flagrante with Helicopter Warren.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Screw the earrings; where in the hell is she hiding the wallet?
Are there any beaver Pluggers? As in “If you accuse someone of stealing your wallet to avoid a solicitation charge, you may be a Plugger?”
And am I the only one who calls him Shylock Fox?
November 28th, 2006 at 3:52 pm
With all the well-deserved abuse being heaped upon FBOFW today, I have to put in a small (very small) word for Granthony on behalf of those of us who were shy, introverted nerds in high school, and had crushes on various girls who wouldn’t give us the time of day.
In many ways, I was very much like Granthony — well, except for the pornstache, basement Gulag, failed marriage, weird glasses, pornstache (it’s so horrible it bears mentioning twice), sickeningly wistful expressions, stalker tendencies and the pornstache.
On second thought, I wasn’t like him at all. Never mind.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
194 – True, honestly I think that it’s the gambler angle. After tittilating us with a biddy war, it looks like a cheap hood is going to use Ella’s amazing powers for evil, and all we’ll get is double-barrelled platitudes from the Meddling Twosome.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
Well, I at least skimmed all the comments so far. Hey, everyone: I feel your pain! And you feel mine! FOOB was execrable today. I can’t believe the parents are being such total nerdo suckheads. In particular, I single out Poteet’s wonderful Sweeney Todd parody; and Dactyl’s anti-Canadia diatribe. Gold, all gold.
What I’m REALLY concerned about today, however, is a looming time-sink. Just when I thought it was going to be safe to stop reading Mark [Margo]ing Trail, what with Molly being untied from the tree and all, Jack Elrod has to go and start a story line about a poor innocent little outcast beaver. Now I’m going to have to spend months worrying about the beaver as it negotiates life in the Lost Forest, dodging journalists, poachers, and other lowlifes.
And further to that: #70, Dr. Forrester, your comment was the funniest I have ever read here:
>>That’s the money shot. Don’t you know that a gratuitous beaver shot will boost readership by at least 10%?
November 28th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
FOOB — I am beginning to see the symbolism that Lynn is putting in her strips lately — she is too prude to boldly venture down any kind of sexual path, yet she knows how to get funky in the FACES of her characters:
1. Chin-nuts — Grandpa’s is HUGE, John’s is just starting to form into a nut-like cleft, and Granthony — Well Granthony’s chin is so sleek and smoooooooth……long and hard with that unruly hair on top ;
2. Liz’s ever-blooming, swelling and parted lips……ohh yeahhhhh………
3. Elly is clearly becoming dried out as evidenced by her dried and wrinkled eyes….and that BUN????
Lynn, you are toying with us! We just aren’t looking “hard” enough, are we?
P.S. Grandpas nose looks like a dick.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
Shylock Fox knows that only a pickpocket would combine silver earrings with a gold bangle and a pearl necklace. It’s common sense.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
The real reason another beaver was victimized: Because beavers are pussies! Also, since there’s no reason to conclude from the cartoon that the cat’s earring are cold, the question “What evidence …” should have been phrased in the hypothetical: “If the cat had committed the crime, what evidence could Shylock have obtained from her earrings?”
November 28th, 2006 at 4:04 pm
917th!
Kee-rist you people are active: 200-some posts since two in the a.m.!
Get some sleep. Or at least pry your fingers away from the keyboard long enough to get some good [Margo]ing in.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:05 pm
#211 AhClem:
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
Here’s Lynn Johnston’s link for comments on FBorFW. She may not read these, but her staff certainly will.
http://www.fborfw.com/behind_the_scenes/q_eh/ask_question.php
(I’d suggest making your letters seem like they’re from wholesome mom ‘n’ pop type readers, rather than we un-wholesome, snarky comics junkies, whose opinions I’m sure she routinely ignores.)
November 28th, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Oh dear. Oh deary dear. Michael’s letter be a goddamn doozy when it comes out in a few days, or else he … he might lose his title as Foob Character I Loathe Above All Others.
I thought he’d lose it to Anthony, but now … now I just may hate Liz most of all. I realise she’s not the one who uttered today’s final, unforgivable bullshit, but her look in that panel, that deer-in-the-headlights-oh-god-maybe-they’re-right look. It just infuriates me to no end.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:15 pm
for all the “how does the Fox know the earring is cold” crowd: look at the outside of the club. There’s snow on the ground. The bouncer is ankle deep in it. On top of the scarves and ear-muffs being worn by various characters, its pretty easy to observe that its COLD outside in FoxLand.
“once we have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
November 28th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
That’s right, Liz – remember that unless a guy is able to spend every moment of his life by your side, he’s not worthy to be your husband. Just listen to your
meddling old batmother. Mother knows best, after all.November 28th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
To say that Apartment 3-G is making me apprehensive is a vast understatement. If Margo actually got laid, then her pent up evil may be unable to sustain itself in her body. In a moment of post-coital afterglow, her Dark Powerâ„¢ will slither away and do one or more of the following:
1) Manifest as a shadowy “Dark Margo” and go on a fiendish rampage, killing and dominating everything in her path before returning to destroy the creature that spawned her.
2) Seek shelter in one of the other girls, we’ll say LuAnn. In addition to turning her utterly evil, Margo’s Dark Powerâ„¢ will find its new host wholly unprepared for its influence. Next thing you know, Tommy and the now socially adjusted Margo are chained in the studio as a leather-clad LuAnn declares herself their evil queen. This is what we like to call the “Best Case Scenario”
3) Liberated by Margo’s unwholesome joy, Margo’s Dark Powerâ„¢ will slither across the comics page, absorbing the dreariness and evil of Funky Winkerbean, Mary Worth, Foob and Ziggy. It will then destroy all mankind.
4) The shadowy essence attempts #3, but instead winds up slithering into Pluggers. After five minutes in the Pluggersverse, Margo’s Dark Powerâ„¢ immolates itself in the hopes that the all-consuming flames will grant it release.
-Trent
November 28th, 2006 at 4:23 pm
So Hart snuck this by while we were all
drunkvisiting relatives over the holidays. I’m trying to decide whether it’s (yet another) swipe at us eggheads an’ all our silly libruul evolution nonsense or merely some harmless wordplay characteristic of BC of late, just another piton pronking from the granite as Hart’s grasp of reason continues its uncontrolled descent down the tufa (off belay!).Eh, let’s assume the former, because it gives me an excuse to quote Richard Dawkins. Besides, if we don’t fight them on the funny pages, we’ll have to fight them on the school boards.
If I understand correctly, Hart takes exception to the concept that two species exhibiting the diverse morphology of the snake (scaley) and the worm (gooey [sic]) could possibly share a common evolutionary ancestor, and in so doing intends to bring into question the general veracity of the theory of evolution.
This is an example of what Dawkins calls “Argument from Personal Incredulity”. Put bluntly, API can be stated as: “if I don’t understand it, it can’t possibly be true”. For example, in an attack on Darwin in Probability of God, Bishop Hugh Montefiore cites as ridiculous the claim that polar bears having white fur can be explained in evolutionary terms:
Dawkins suggests the following translation of this passage:
Substitute (roughly speaking) “snakes/worms”, “scaley/gooey”, and “cartoon-writing” for “polar bears”, “white fur”, and “classical literature and theology”, and we begin to better understand Mr. Hart’s confusion.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
P.S.
MW: Clark Kent is to Superman as Mr. Dent is to Dwayne F. Schneider, as played by the fabulous Pat Harrington Jr.
He’s gonna rip off that suit any minute now to reveal his t-shirt and tool belt, I just know it. Then he’ll ask Ella out on a date.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:27 pm
Holy [Margo]ing [Margo], Poteet! There is no reason you should apologize to Sondheim or anyone else for that shining jewel of parody.
Thank you for both the wit, and the impeccable scansion.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
TDiET: What god among columnists warrants more than a quarter page just for his photo? On the front page? Above the fold?
And, yeah… “Veiw?” “Et all?” What the hell? Then again, this is a strip that uses words like “j’ever” on a daily basis.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
You know, B.C. used to be good. No, really; I have a couple collections from back in the 70s or so and it’s actually funny and not confusingly preachy. It’s sad to see how far it’s fallen though.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:40 pm
As is often the case with wallet theft, it occurred while the victim’s pants were around his ankles and he was preoccupied with finding earthly bliss.
Therefore, I conclude that the evidence recovered from the cat’s earrings was traces of, um, beaver DNA. But Sly Fox said the earrings were “cold,” for the sake of the children.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
#223 (Trent) 1) Manifest as a shadowy “Dark Margo†and go on a fiendish rampage, killing and dominating everything in her path before returning to destroy the creature that spawned her.
Or: Manifest as a shadowy “Dark Margo”. Attack Tommie as she and Margo and Eric are watching Fire Maidens from Outer Space
#210 (Geezil) Are there any beaver Pluggers?
raises hand… :-p
[note to humor professionals "beaver" == comic gold]
November 28th, 2006 at 4:50 pm
augh!!! the FOOBs are driving me nuts! where’s wright when liz needs him? seriously?! the only reason blanthony’s there is that he’s also a witness! he’s required by law to ‘be there for’ liz. god, if the mountie had been there in the first place instead of blanthony, not only would wright be the other prime witness (and therefore ‘there for liz when she needs him’) and also, instead of giving the rapist a rugburn he would’ve arrested him, been a more reliable witness, and that guy’d be in jail already. plus, i don’t know about you, but i’d be less than thrilled about my daughter hooking up with some lame dork who thinks rape trials are arousing.
i hate the pattersons. it’s official.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:57 pm
#177: My thoughts exactly.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:00 pm
FOBOW: As Farley would have barked out “Ah death, blessed is thy permanent release.” Guess you dont have to watch the shark jump eh boy?!?
Curtis: A Mallard Fillmore moment, The Rap Crap of racial ephitets, violence and sex is so mainstream it doesn’t mean anything anymore.
F’ed Up Winkerbean: What could be more hilarious in a comic storyline Wally’s death from Islamofascists or the Cancer storyline. It’s a laugh a minute here in Ohio.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:01 pm
#173 Actually, Dagwood took the bus for many years. It was quite a step forward the first time a car appeared in the strip. I think it was in the late 1980s. My father actually cut out the strip and mailed it to me as a historical artifact.
It was a very strange bus with a rear platform. Dagwood was usually found extended horizontally behind the bus holding on to the rear pole with one hand. Rear pole, you ask?
I’ve never actually seen such a bus, but in the 1920s streetcars were like that. Probably when GM bought up all the streetcar lines in the 1940s and closed them down, Chic Young changed the streetcar to a bus, but didn’t change his drawing.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:04 pm
Ellie is going to feel awfully stupid when she finds out that Paul the Mountie was killed in a botched raid on a meth lab today.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
232 Shannon:
How…can…you…talk…normally…now?
November 28th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
#219, Rich — thanks for the link to the FOOB mailbox. I submitted a comment that chided the FOOBers for spreading unwholesome values: the man who’s available is better than the man who’s off doing a difficult job.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:32 pm
I personally, off the top of my head sitting in my study, never having visited the Artic, never having seen a polar bear in the wild, and having been educated in classical literature and theology, have not so far managed to think of a reason why polar bears might benefit from being white.
Geez, Hart, even a cartoonist should be able to figure this one out. Polar bears, as predators, benefit from camoflauge as much as prey do. A darker-furred bear would be more easily spotted by prey than a white-furred bear would, which would allow the prey to get away — dark-furred bears die out from starvation while white-furred bears, the more effective predators, are able to flourish.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:34 pm
#233: The soul-crushing horror of life in in the Winkerbeaniverse could only be redeemed by Wally’s death being crosscut, Godfather-style, with one-armed and pregnant Becky getting a lap dance from Santa Claus. That would be amazing.
#236: It’s funny. My name actually is Shannon, and it recently occurred to me that someone here might think I took the name from FOOB-Shannon. It’s… tempting… to… go… crazy… with… the… ellipses…
November 28th, 2006 at 5:41 pm
Waitaminute! I’ve decoded FOOB! Lynn Johnston bases this on her real-life family, right? So she’s obviously hinting to her real-life daughter to marry some boring, dickless schlub who’ll never replace “Daddy” sexually. It fits, it all fits!
And for MW– Yesterday I thought the Mysterious Dent looked like David Niven; today he almost looks like Don Ameche. Here’s hoping his unrevealed first name is an anagram of “acci”, as in the one Ella will have involving Citizen Cane, which MW will be blamed for and — cheez, why ain’t I writing this strip?
November 28th, 2006 at 5:42 pm
Polar bears don’t have white fur, they have translucent fur.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:55 pm
234 Mr. O’Malley – sounds like the famous London Routemaster bus. Except that the Bumsteads don’t live in England.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:57 pm
Well, the Bumsteads live in a Bizarro-world universe where blowing a raspberry goes “PLLL-T” anyway, so it’s not out of the question for them to have English buses.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:03 pm
Worms are invertebrates and snakes are vertebrates. They are no more closely related then cockroaches and crocodiles. Grouping them together on the basis of a vaguely similar body shape is a work of the highest degree of idiocy. (Unless the category is “living creatures that are easy to draw”.)
Like others, I have a vague recollection that BC used to be funny, but I can’t really remember why. Maybe I should look for an old collection.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
DTFOOB! DTFOOB! DTFOOB!
Gil Thorp, you’re back to plain old GT in my books.
DT (Margo)ing FOOB!
November 28th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
Mr. O’Malley, I thought you had written that women were invertabrates and I was about to agree with you. Then I slid off my chair.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
#244: That’s nothing. Once, during a “debate” with a Creationist, she asserted to me that dinosaurs were mutated versions of modern day lizards, and that Iguanadon were mutated Iguanas. Because of, you know… the name.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:09 pm
241 – popinjay, you have just predicted the answer to next week’s Shylock Fox mystery.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:40 pm
I actually figured out Slylock Fox right away. In reality, the cold silver earrings upon being brought inside the hot, humid dance club would be covered with condensation. No need to touch them to tell that they are cold. But I also guessed he could just as easily check for six hard nipples on her belly.
I like the fact that the moose in Mark Trail is not only talking out its butt, it appears to be announcing its plans for the evening to its fellow moose.
The young beaver, I suspect, will be run over by Mark Trail in the very next strip. No chance for a storyline. How sad.
And has the entire “Misadventures of Molly” storyline just been a ripoff of a sitcom babysitting plot, where the baby gets loose and gets into all sorts of mischief around town, and the babysitter must recover it by the time the parents return so they can pretend nothing has happened?
June has been holding Niki, the purse-snatcher, at stickpoint for so long only to let him go into his room ALONE? Gosh, June, do you think that room might have…a WINDOW?
#71 Mazement, major kudos on spotting and remembering the Hitchhiker’s Guide reference from nearly a year ago!
#155 kostia, I also don’t read Funky Winkerbean, but I have gathered from reading the last few weeks of comments at this site that yes, this woman has only one arm, and is married to and pregnant by the guy responsible for her only having one arm, who is serving in Iraq or Afghanistan and who is probably going to die horribly at the most tragically ironic moment possible.
Good God. I was away from the computer for Thanksgiving, and now I have more than 500 additional comments to catch up on!
November 28th, 2006 at 6:43 pm
Iguana know, since we’re all inveterate punsters, if we can come up with some puns about lizards and invertebrates.
Sorry, I’ll go away now.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:49 pm
Add my voice to those who want to shut Elly up (preferably forever) for chastizing Liz for favoring Paul…after all, the guy is only a cop putting his life on the line everyday while Blecchthony is mooning about in his “look at me, I’m a victimized, cuckolded single dad” self-pity pot. [Marge] him.
Re: #219: I went to link just to check it out. The Q and A section is labelled “Q and Eh”. So clever I forgot to laugh, to quote the late great Lisa Loopner.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
RE: #250 — Skillturf
Gila regret that post.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
MW: I saw a couple of mentions in the comments that Mr. Dent’s first name was Arthur. If that is the case, then the appropriate advice is, “Don’t Panic”
November 28th, 2006 at 6:53 pm
I’m hoping the new character in Mary Worth is Stuart, as in “Stu Dent”.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
106 – Von Zeppelin, you wrote a beautiful post noir.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:11 pm
#149: “The only way this strip could be vindicated in my eyes would be for Paul to recruit The Phantom and Mark Trail…”
Man, I would pay good money to see that drawing.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:13 pm
#63: “Butt-talking moose are almost as good as finger-quoting Margo!”
Please let us hasten to stress the “almost” there….
November 28th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
Arghhhh!
Slylock Fox has annoyed me to the point of comment.
As Power of 1000 Lemons and others point out, the mystery is not solvable by reading the text and/or looking at the picture. The only way to “solve” it is to read the answer. “The metal earrings are very cold.” Very cold no less!
How long are kids supposed to stare at this panel before assuming they are not smart enough to deduce the answer?
“Oh, the earrings are cold. It’s so obvious now that you say it. They’re clearly cold because, well, it says so right here in the upside down answer.”
November 28th, 2006 at 7:34 pm
And…
…is it just coincidence that the accusatory beaver’s vest matches the reflection of the disco mirror ball on the black walls of the club?
OK. I’m done.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:39 pm
LOCKHORNS UPDATE 27 NOV 06: Leroy, unshaven, lies asleep in bed, prone, with an arm dangling over the side. Loretta and a nameless neighbor woman stand in front of the bed. The woman neighbor, in profile, appears bored. Loretta is bedecked in a full cheerleader’s outfit, replete with pompom and megaphone. Loretta says to the neighbor woman,
“It’s tough getting Leroy motivated for work on Mondays.”
We see the bed (with Leroy), Loretta, the neighbor woman, and an endtable with a lamp and a red rectangular prism (obviously an alarm clock). These are all floating in a void, yet the suggestion of a bedroom is unmistakable, thus in keeping with the minimalist style in which The Lockhorns is drawn. Here’s the link.
LOCKHORNS UPDATE 28 NOV 06: Loretta and Leroy are seated at the dinner table. Their repast seems shapeless and colorless, which is consistent with the minamilist style in which The Lockhorns is drawn. Loretta has her mouth chock full of food which she chews with a look of sheer boredom. Leroy, looking only slightly less bored, points to his dish and says to Loretta,
“About this potluck, Loretta . . . have you broken a mirror lately?”
The Lockhorns sit on simple wooden chairs (with arms) and the table has a white tablecloth. The only objects on the table are the aforementioned two plates of food. The table, the chairs, the Lockhorns, all float in a void. Yet, somehow, a dining room is strongly suggested. This is minimalism at its best. See for yourself.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:50 pm
I think you all are giving Elrod too much credit in assuming that the beaver panel is the start of a new storyline. More likely, he realized he only needed two panels to wrap up his story, so he pulled the most random animal scene possible out of his ass and put it in the third panel.
(Or, as Freud would say, sometimes a beaver shot is just a beaver shot.)
Hanging in my office, I have an old Mark Trail strip (from about ‘94 or so) I clipped out. It’s a two-panel wonder that goes something like this…
Panel 1
Art: A grizzly bear with a muzzle is getting the shit beat out of it by a pack of snarling wolves.
Text: “The big bear fights with all her might to drive away the wolves…”
Panel 2
Art: The same scene from a different angle.
Text: “But she soon begins to weaken”
There’s something so existential, yet so Zen-like, about it. Especially divorced from whatever storyline context it might have had. (Not that it probably had much of a coherent story to begin with.)
God bless the complete randomness of Mark Trail.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:07 pm
This whole Slylock Fox thing is starting to get to me.
Suppose she just ran outside, stole the wallet and ran back in. Then the earrings wouldn’t have time to get cold. On the other hand, if she were outside long enough for the earrings to get cold, she would get cold too in that outfit, so she would have put on a coat, which she obviously didn’t.
When all other possibilities have been eliminated, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. She must have spent the last 15 minutes with her head stuck out of a window, therefore she was not able to steal the wallet.
But what I really want to know is, how do you design a dress for a being with a tail?
November 28th, 2006 at 8:07 pm
178 – pelagius, I think you hit the nail on the head.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:16 pm
#164 — Thanks very much, Uncle Lumpy. Your work is an inspiration. And thanks for the great new way of looking at A3G.
#170 — KingKong, think of five annoying American public figures. All too easy, eh? See, no need to apologize for Lynn.
#213 — AhClem, great comment. I have a soft spot for former shy, introverted nerds, but Anthony is something else. Not sure what, but I hope there’s only one of him.
#215 — Thanks, Fogeyette, and belated Happy Birthday! Even online, I’m never on time. And as I nervously wonder what Elrod will do to that poor beaver, I’m glad you and I will find out together.
#222 — Take heart, sjofn. I have faith that Michael’s new letter will be a projectile-vomit-inducing masterpiece that will re-establish him as Number One, because he’s so full of Number Two.
#226 — Thanks, SPOI, for another educational comment that enables me to say that I come here to learn:-).
November 28th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
244 Yes, it would have been more accurate if I had said I have never seen a single-decker bus of such a design.
Although I have ridden in double-decker buses in England, I don’t think I was ever actually in a genuine Routemaster, which is why I forgot about them. But I have seen them.
I suppose there’s a bus aficionado website where I could research whether single-decker rear-platform buses were ever used in Bumsteadville, USA (or is it Ditherston?). Some other time, maybe.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:18 pm
Maybe the whole beaver panel is foreshadowing for what’s gonna happen to poor old Rusty when Mark Trail takes him to the hospital to visit his bear owning friend — Mark’s gonna ditch Rusty on the way back and he and his wife are gonna change the locks. Sorry Rusty, on your own now! We’re kick’n you out of the ‘lodge’ kid, time’s come for you to be out on your own, you know, like a beaver.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:38 pm
Regarding June’s eyes in RMMD – That strange, white reflectivity could be a sign of retinoblastoma. It usually affects children, but she should still have it checked out. Maybe, since Rex is a doctor he should have said something about it sooner.
But, wait – this is the same man that seems to have no concern over the megacephalic proportions of his offspring. Speaking of which…. what has become of Sarah?
November 28th, 2006 at 8:49 pm
What evidence did Slylock Fox obtain from Cassandra Cat’s earrings that suggests she is lying? Well, for starters, Ms. Cat (if that IS her name) is wearing her so-called “earrings” on her jaw. If that doesn’t scream pathological mendacity, I don’t know what does.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:58 pm
Speaking as somebody who frequently dries his wet socks over a lampshade, I have to ask: hunh? What do you mean, cartoonishly squalid?!?
November 28th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
Kudos to the many insightful comments eviscerating what may be the worst comic strip ever.
What in the hell is the Dentist talking about? “Funny and kind”?? What man describes another man that way? “Hard working” – says who? It looks to me like he drifted into a dead-end job selling cars for Gordon.
Yuck – you’re better off without them Paul.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:08 pm
How is the reader supposed to deduce that the cat’s earrings are cold??? NOT FAIR
November 28th, 2006 at 9:10 pm
Cassandra Cat doesn’t need to be a pickpocket. Most beavers would gladly pay her to stick a hand inside their pants!
TDIET Nov 27
Ha ha, she waited so long to see the doctor, the tumor’s now inoperable!! “Gasp… W-Wha..?” is right, sister!
Don’t mind me. I’m just bitter about the weird compulsion that makes me subject myself to such idiocy.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:29 pm
11 – Poteet, you have created greatness. Anthony, The Lizard Lover of Foobville is simply brilliant.
FBOFW – Sorry kids, but I think the Liz-Granthony pairing is exactly right. Water seeks its own level. I think Paul is too good for Liz. He’s too masculine, too exciting, too exotic. The girl who replaced Liz at Mitzigaynor seemed like a lot more fun than Liz, more adventurous than Liz, less self-absorbed than Liz, and a much better match for Paul.
I love Paul and think he’s a great catch. Paul deserves better than Liz.
Liz is insecure, and needs someone like Blanthony, who has nothing else going on in his life and can spend all his time worshiping her at her feet. (And feeding her cinnamon buns, so she can grow so huge she won’t even know she’s pregnant until her seventh month.)
November 28th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
I asked my husband last night – he of the no-read funnies personality quirk – “Don’t you think this is referring to Jon’s third leg?” Wild!
November 28th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
Sheldon says:
November 28th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Home Depot does not carry wall paper. They have phazed it out. I was looking for wallpaper recently at Home Depot, and my wife thought I was nuts.
They carry wallpaper at the Home Depots around here.
I’m hoping the FOOB plot somehow quickly turns into Liz realizing that the Erk attack frightened her, and that she sought refuge and home but now that the trial is over, home sucks and she returns to Mtigwaki and Paul and being somewhat interesting in a spoiled middle-class suburban girl kind of way.
(around the time the Paul thing began, I thought I saw forshadowing of Elly & John retiring in the North. Elly was musing about running a little hotel in the wilderness or something. This would have fit perfectly with the heavily foreshadowed Mike & Deanne buying the old family homestead. April, meanwhile would become suicidal, I guess, at being dragged off to complete high school in the sticks, or maybe lives with Mike & Dee as sort of an indentured servant/nanny until graduation.)
November 28th, 2006 at 9:40 pm
SLYLOCK FOX – Cassandra Cat is innocent. She really was at the club all evening. Her earrings were cold because she stepped outside briefly for a smoke break.
This was not evident from the picture, or the upside-down text.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:46 pm
266: I really hope so, Poteet. I would almost be sad to see Michael dethroned. He’s held onto it for so long!
November 28th, 2006 at 9:49 pm
You would prefer, maybe, that they disappear in puff of smoke like in “Curtis”?
November 28th, 2006 at 9:51 pm
I have no trouble believing that Cassandra Cat’s ho-slut earrings were cold; I’ve had that problem with my own earrings on occasion. The kids reading Slylock Fox, I am fervently hoping, should be too young to wear (or know about) ho earrings. They should also be too young to look at cats with huge boobies, but we can’t unring that bell.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
264: “But what I really want to know is, how do you design a dress for a being with a tail? ”
far more easily than a pair of jeans, as any reader of Omaha The Cat Dancer could tell you. ;-)
November 28th, 2006 at 10:03 pm
The more I look at Slylock Fox, the more the discotheque’s interior reminds me of the movie Cube. And the dark abyss of oblivion my spirit falls headlong into after reading the upside-down text of Slylock Fox. But mostly Cube.
Although the purple-clad Travolta-wannabe animal with the bizarre leg orientation is still nifty.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:03 pm
Today’s (11/28/06) Funky is one of the most disturbing things ever. Partially because it features an exotic dancer dressed as Santa Claus at a baby shower, and partially because every woman has the same bizarre grin on their face as the cheerleader in the recent self-insertion fantasy.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:06 pm
Whoever mentioned that “Liz + Anthony = True Love Forever” will probably happen at a big dramatic NYE do is horribly, horribly right. Probably. (One thing I hate about the Foobiverse is that) FBOFW loooves to have Romantic Shit go down on NYE. That’s when Mike bullied DeAnna into accepting his proposal; that’s when Anthony told Liz he was engaged to Therese. See, it’ll be nice and symmetrical!
(I’M SO DEPRESSED ABOUT THIS.)
I wonder if the Garfield people are just seeing what they can get away with. They’d probably have to depict hard-core uncensored sex to get kicked off the funny pages.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:06 pm
Actually, Garfield, Jon is talking about Liz’s [ahem] “squeezebox.” That she needs lessons tells us that Liz is worse in bed than Jon. Will the irony never end?
November 28th, 2006 at 10:07 pm
I don’t follow the “Home Depot (R)” strip but comments here reminded me of a franchise operation that I came across that failed in the 1980s. Their selling point (they thought) was they had all the wall paper they sold *in stock.* No waiting for back-orders, no different dye lots that might reveal subtle color shifts from roll to roll.
The only problem, maybe, was the name of the store: “Wallpaper to Go.”
I used to drive past the place every day and wonder how they’d respond if I went in and said, “No, thanks. I’d prefer to apply it here.”
Then again, I’m the type of guy who walks into Wal-Mart just for the little old lady who greets me with, “Would you like a shopping cart?” and tell her, “Yeah! I want that one in the middle of the bunch.”
Think maybe I’m too anti-social for my own good?
November 28th, 2006 at 10:10 pm
#11 Poteet! What a triumph! A Len Cariou and Angela Lansbury triumph! Thank you. And #20 from Nov. 26th’s “I’m thankful for you too”, Dingo,
stop me before I ask you to our Jan. 6th Tres Reyes (3 Kings) dinner, but no where else on the planet is there a blog where the revered name of Spanish architect Santiago Calatrava would find its way into a discussion of trouser fashion. Comics Curmudgeon may be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Con todo mi corazon, muchas gracias, Dingo. And a reference to Bella Abzug too. You have made my day.
http://www.spanish-living.com/regional/Valencia_city-of-arts-and-science.php
November 28th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
#11 – Wow! Poteet that was absolutely brilliant! (applaudes, calls out “Brava!”)
I knew the minute I read FBOFW today it would provoke outrage, but the comments have surpassed my expectations. In most conventional stories The-Nice-Guy-The-Parents-Are-Crazy-About turns out to be exactly the WRONG guy for the heroine, thus putting the odds back in favor of Paul. But this is the Foobiverse, so nothing is certain. I fear Sjofn, at #222, is right. It has somehow slipped Liz’s mind that Paul has already had to transfer to Mikkitikkitavi to be closer to her and now she wonders why he can’t simply leave his demanding job and travel several hundred miles every weekend or so to see her.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
#98– Re: “Gilmore Girls” Funny you should say that, I’m only here for the fifth time today because ABCFamily isn’t playing Gilmore Girls tonight so my plans for 7-8 p.m. fell through!
Now that you point it out, you’re right about the GG/foob parallel, it’s striking. Except that Luke has been getting on my nerves anyway, and I’m not sickened by the very sight of Chris, as I am Granthony. I’m not so sure that Chris isn’t really better for Lorelai, actually– he’s more fun than Luke. In real life a guy like Luke would probably get sick of anyone as goofy and giddy and hyperactive as she is…but of course, L and L will be back together, no matter what would happen in real life! That’s the big difference, really: I think the GG people give a shit what their fans think, where as Lynn could not possibly care less what anyone else thinks about her Saint Pattersons. It’s Lynn’s world, we just read it… :)
November 28th, 2006 at 10:22 pm
How did Slylock Fox know her earrings were cold? They brushed against his cheek when he discreetly sniffed Cassandra Cat’s hair while she was facing the accusations of Mr. Beaver. It was all the excuse he needed. “She’s guilty. Haul her down to the station, I’ll ‘interrogate’ her later. And get me a drink, for God’s sake.”
“But doesn’t that just mean she was outside recently? Not necessarily guilty? In my night classes they call that ‘circumstant– ”
“Listen, college boy, are you trying to get us both fired? Do you know how many people we’ve put away with evidence like that?”
Given Mr. Beaver’s frequent appearances, I wonder if he’s just a petty man who has found out that Slylock Fox is corrupt, venal, and a perfect instrument of petty justice. Just make a flimsy accusation to Slylock, and in his desperation to maintain his record down at the precinct, he’ll fabricate something to put the accused away.
FOOB: This whole situation has me thinking a couple of things.
First, folks really seem to care about Liz as a character. If they didn’t, then this little plot element would merely be the subject of ridicule, not a source of rage. So give Ms/Mrs/whatever Johnston her due – she has at least crafted one or two legitimate characters.
Second, and a point I didn’t see mentioned elsewhere, I find it hilarious that her mom basically suggests that she can’t handle herself as an adult without a man around. If my mom said “Where is your husband when you need him?” to my sister, my sister would say “He’s exactly where he needs to be. Are you suggesting that I need a man to handle testifying in a court of law? Did you know that I voted alone the other day?”
What made me laugh about that last panel wasn’t the fact that mom set Liz up with the mountie, nor the fact that her boyfriend is off in a remote place doing a hard job (I had no idea, just started reading FOOB a week ago), nor even the fact that her dad seems to have designs on Anthony himself, but just the unvarnished notion that if a man is anywhere but right next to his woman, that he doesn’t love her. I guess soldiers overseas, politicians serving in their capitols, undercover cops, etc. are just not meant to be with women in FOOB world.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:29 pm
Cassandra Cat is quite the hot little item….Meow!!!
November 28th, 2006 at 10:35 pm
Poteet – Your poem/song about Blandthony and Lizard is awesomeness on steroids!!!
November 28th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
#274 — Thanks, AppleGirl. And you make an interesting point. Hmmmmm. Okay, maybe I’ll give my assent to this nauseating coupling IF it happens thusly:
Panel One: Granthony says to Lizard, “I love you madly! Run away with me and Francoise!”
Panel Two: Lizard says “Okay, let’s leave right now!”
Panel Three: Elly says to John, while holding a letter, “Well, that’s nice. They eloped to Venezuela, joined an Irredeemable Dweebs Commune, and say they’ll never contact us again. Good to know they’re happy, and we saved a bundle on the wedding.”
Panel Four: John responds — “Hey, that’s great! More money for trains!”
And Lizard and Anthony are never heard from again. The End.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:40 pm
#158 Tonstant Weader:
FBOFW: Flames! Flames! On the side of my face!
Oh thank you, thank you. RIP Madeline Kahn.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:49 pm
#288 & 292 — Trixie and Ray, thanks very much. And Trixie, every time I see your name, I have to smile. You were always such fun to read instead of cleaning up my room:-).
November 28th, 2006 at 10:53 pm
261 – The Accusatory Beaver would be an awesome name for a band.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:55 pm
Lyman Returns–love that name!
November 28th, 2006 at 10:59 pm
293 – Poteet, I couldn’t agree with you more that that scenario would be ideal. Sadly, it’s not gonna happen. Liz loves the convenience store/used car lot/suburban minivan scene way too much. Liz is actually a very boring girl. Liz also loves being worshipped. Remember, she RAN back to FOOBville at the first mention of Granthony’s divorce.
November 28th, 2006 at 11:45 pm
#272 Because they are metal and it is obviously cold outside. The question in the text is – “what evidence did Slylock Fox obtain from the earrings that suggests she is lying?”
It’s not a huge leap to assume the earrings would be cold if she just entered the club. He confirmed his suspicion and obtained the evidence by touching the earrings.
November 29th, 2006 at 12:23 am
Yeah, Jeff, we figured that out. But we’ve also covered the various much more obvious ways to determine whether she’d just entered the nightclub, not to mention the unsettling elements of determining a female suspect’s guilt by touching her.
November 29th, 2006 at 12:30 am
#299: Uh, that’s approximately as “evident” as “because her earrings were burning hot, proving she’d forged them in the women’s room only minutes before after melting down the beaver’s coins which she’d stolen from him.”
Let me join the chorus in praise of Poteet’s Sweeney-tastic FOOB song. And #290: you’re somewhat right, in that FOOB used to be, years ago, a fairly clever and insightful strip. It’s declined into flatulent sanctimony in recent years, though, and saying that Johnston’s phoning it in these days gives the strip far too much credit. She’s texting it in, using only her little toe.
November 29th, 2006 at 12:32 am
#125 – wow, and I thought I felt strongly about it. Thanks for the link!!
November 29th, 2006 at 12:38 am
#300 Perhaps Slylock politely asked Cassandra and was granted permission to touch her earrings.
November 29th, 2006 at 1:14 am
#301 I still think you are missing my point. The cold earrings are about Cassandra’s lie regarding where she’s been. Exposing her lie brings her innocence.into question. But the answer doesn’t say she is the pickpocket, only that Slylock thinks Cassandra lied when she said she has been in the club all evening.
November 29th, 2006 at 5:48 am
Eh, Jeff, she still didn’t necessarily go outside. Maybe she stuck her head out the window to smoke, uh, something. Maybe her (un)dressing room is colder than charity. Maybe she snuck into the walk-in to take a slug from her hidden bottle of cheap hooch.
November 29th, 2006 at 8:38 am
Jeff #305 — I think the reason people are getting so worked up over this Slylock Fox is that it’s generally held that the point of the strip is that you, the reader, can solve the mystery with the information provided. That’s why they print the answers upside down — to give you a chance to figure it out first. Since there’s NO WAY for the reader to know that the earrings were cold, the solution seems like a bit of a cheat.
Josh
November 29th, 2006 at 10:15 am
Josh, I don’t think you have to KNOW the earrings are cold, you only need to suspect. And if they are cold she might be lying. And if she is lying, maybe she becomes more of a person, or rather CAT of interest.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:01 am
11 – Poteet – Thank you for the chilling, disturbing lyrics. A classic.
If a certain Demon Barber actually eluded the authorities and set himself up with a new identity in Canada, as some maintain, then perhaps an appointment for Manthony would give his pornstache a sufficiently close shave…
November 29th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
Doug Puthoff-thanks for the compliment on my name! I’m a fan of obscure comic characters who randomly disappear with no explanation. Lyman from “Garfield”, and also Frieda, Violet, Patty, and Shermie from ‘Peanuts’. I hope Lyman does return one day, or at least pop up in another strip. He’s out there somewhere, I tell you…
November 29th, 2006 at 7:12 pm
How does Dick Tracy, a man whom I don’t believe has ever sat yelling at his television set, end up with a more powerful and potentially dangerous villain than Spiderman has?
On the other hand, Peter Parker’s decision-making skills (e.g. going back to the hotel rather than pursuing a super maniac on the loose) could be evidence that the infamous “Diet Smith” has already addled his brain, couldn’t stand the fast-paced action of the strip, and moved on to Dick Tracy.
November 29th, 2006 at 8:08 pm
the most annoying thing about tuesdays fbofw is that by the look on Liz’s face, you can tell she thinks they have a valid point….. it’s like her parents are zombies who took over her brain, and now have the power to say anything, and she just belives it without thought. Isn’t Paul trying to transfer to be closer to her? So lets get this straight, he should give up his job his means of supporting her, cause take it from me, you can’t live much of a life on a teachers pay) immediatly to run to her , and they should have lots of babies and go on welfare, so that he doesn’t ever have to risk that his job might interfear with him “being there” for Liz….
November 29th, 2006 at 10:47 pm
Since we’re on the subject of the latest Brad subplot, I’m curious about something. Did Brad already know Dirk before he found out he was Toni’s boyfriend? After he told Luann about Dirk, it seemed as though they both knew him before. Was there a grudge between them in high school in past strips or something? I’d like to know.
November 30th, 2006 at 2:38 pm
Poteet, you RULE. Filking Sondheim is NOT for the faint of heart–all those double/triple-decker internal rhymes!
December 1st, 2006 at 4:17 pm
I’m a little behind in my curmudgeonly reading, but thought I would go ahead and point out that the proper way to express the name of a certain home-improvement chain is The Home Depot (R). With a capital “T.” So if the LuAnn artist really were making money from The Home Depot (R), proper attribution would have been in his contract.
See for yourself:
http://corporate.homedepot.com/wps/portal
January 11th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
I just found your site and am spending the day enjoying the archives rather than working – hence, a comment on an old post. Why is Michael Jackson being invited to the Christmas baby shower in Funky Winkerbean, 11/27/06?
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