Post Content

Spider-Man, 5/24/09

So, what’s the most insultingly improbable thing that happens in today’s Spider-Man? Is it that Peter would have forgotten his epic battle with an electrically powered super-villain, which concluded only hours before? Is it that beautiful young movie star Mary Jane would just smile after accidentally being called by the name of her husband’s wizened old aunt? (At least it wasn’t during sex … this time.) No, more laughable than both of those is the idea that anyone, anywhere was moved by anything that happened in the Spider-Man newspaper strip to go through the trouble of writing a letter to anybody. Really, narration box, give us a little credit.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/24/09

Hootin’ Holler’s sole religious authority sure does a good job of opiating the inbred masses with his God talk. I suppose that makes them more likely to cough up the cash when he needs a new TV.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/24/09

June in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen. There’s nothing like terrible food poisoning to cut down on the crowds poolside, you know what I’m saying?

Post Content

Spider-Man, 5/24/09

Hey, remember how newspaper Spidey used to be married to Mary Jane, but then a enormous wall of text told us that he wasn’t anymore, because we had gone back in time to his single college days? Well, it’s not even six months later and apparently we’re done with that. This is fully in keeping with the overall milieu of the strip, in which anything can happen at any time because whatever.

I do note with some amusement Peter’s shock in panel two about getting married without gainful employment, since much of the “drama” of the pre-time-jump strip revolved around Peter whining endlessly about how his underemployment made him less of a man. I guess they got hitched even without him having a steady job, proving that the best way to overcome obstacles in this life is to lower your standards.

Mary Worth, 5/23/09

All this jawing is leading me to believe that this storyline will, against all odds, have a happy ending after all: Dr. Jeff’s adolescent crush, to whom he never dared reveal his feelings, has returned in the shape of the man’s handsome young son! Now, in a more enlightened age, their love can finally be expressed. As added bonuses, Mary will have her heart broken lose control of her current whipping boy, and Adrian will once again be permitted to chose her own romantic partner (which will ultimately lead to her kidneys being stolen and sold on the black market, but that’s a small price to pay).

9 Chickweed Lane and Apartment 3-G, 5/23/09

These two strips are stacked pretty much right on top of each other on my Chron page, so naturally my assumption upon reading them was that Gary was pregnant.

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 5/22/09

There is something hair-raisingly creepy about the last panel of today’s Gil Thorp, in which Gil’s empty chair faces a computer monitor lit up with pictures of his student athletes in happier, naughtier times. “There’s no such thing as privacy or anonymity anymore! You have to assume that your every move, your every transgressive behavior, is going to be scrutinized by prying eyes, watching silently as your delighted young faces light up when you press the limits of childhood and discover what it means to be an adult, breath quickening, palms sweating … uh … I gotta get back to my office. Shep, you’re in charge until I get back. Try not to get drunk or anything.”

Funky Winkerbean, 5/22/09

It’s true that infidelity usually ends in tears and shattered lives, so you’d think it would be a natural subject for a Funky Winkerbean plot. I don’t think it’s ever been tackled in this strip, though, possibly because affairs do generally begin with a jolt of joy, no matter how short-sighted and self-destructive that happiness might be. Thus, I’m curious to see whether or not the now remarried Funky and his ex are going to get it on in one of Montoni’s filthy plastic booths, or if their tryst will be nipped in the bud by weeping and impotence, only to be discovered and end in divorce anyway.