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Wizard of Id, 2/22/10

There’s something I find pleasingly subversive about today’s Wizard of Id, in which a gaggle of peasants treats the supposedly deadly serious business of war as little more than a game, with no real importance. Does the artist intend us to take a Marxist interpretation of this scene, with the implication being that the working classes ought to stick together in solidarity rather than fighting in the wars orchestrated in the interests of their exploiters? Or does the strip merely attempt to paint an accurate picture of its medieval milieu, in which serfs often felt little or no affinity for the clique of specialized warriors who ruled them? Whatever the case, those peasants sure are looking cheery, considering that they’ll almost certainly be enslaved or killed for sport by whoever wins this battle.

Mary Worth, 2/22/10

Sometimes, when poor unlovable Wilbur isn’t in this strip, I forgot how much I love him. Watch him angrily pour something brown and unappetizing out of an oddly shaped bottle! Watch him clumsily grab at his daughter in an attempt to keep her moored in physical reality, and watch her recoil in palpable disgust! Oh Wilbur, this sad little episode will be all over Dawn’s password-protected LiveJournal tonight, but don’t worry, I still love you!

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Crankshaft, 2/21/11

Last week’s big action in Crankshaft consisted of Rose, the ’Shaft’s son-in-law’s senile, unlikable mother, leaving the house out of spite after being told not to do so, and then falling on the ice, with no one around to help her. Apparently this week will be taken up entirely by Rose lying on the pavement, presumably terribly injured, cracking wise (or perhaps cracking senile dementia) as she slowly freezes to death. Crankshaft is, of course, the “light-hearted” Funkyverse strip, so grab your popcorn and get ready for a laugh riot of gradually numbing extremities.

Apartment 3-G, 2/21/11

Every day, Lu Ann is discovering another one of the joys of dating the extremely dumb. Today she learns that you can use tired old clichés and they’ll think you’re incredibly smart and witty for coming up with them. My one regret about today’s strip is that there isn’t some audio accompaniment to make clear exactly how badly Paul botches the pronunciation of “curator.”

Dick Tracy, 2/21/11

I’m posting today’s Dick Tracy so you can compare it to Saturday’s and see that, yes, it’s just giving you the same basic information in a different sequence. This happens over and over again, forever, until the sun expands into a red giant, killing everybody. Today’s strip is mainly notable because “doze” is spelled “dose.” Presumably this is because, come on, who the hell would bother to edit Dick Tracy, though it’s possible that Dick is a closet dope fiend and is afraid to shoot up or take goofballs or whatever lest Toasterhead gain the upper hand. (The strip’s previous casual use of drug lingo may be instructive in this regard.)

Dennis the Menace, 2/21/11

OH SNAP DENNIS JUST CALLED AMERICA’S MOM A HO

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Gasoline Alley, 2/20/11

Ha ha, remember when Harry Truman fired General MacArthur? That sure was a punchline-worthy thing that happened, 60 years ago. Anyway, this cartoon disappoints me mostly because Honest Abe doesn’t make good on his implied threat take an axe to those presidents who are horning in on his birthday. Abe Lincoln is the Rail-Splitting Killer! Where’s your atomic bomb now, Truman?

Blondie, 2/20/11

Here’s the difference between Mary Worth and Dagwood Bumstead: Mary looks upon new-fangled technology like Twitter with undisguised contempt, whereas it sends Dagwood in a pathetic paroxysm of anxiety.