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Herb and Jamaal, 2/14/11

You guys, sorry these comics are so late in appearing! The Houston Chronicle’s usually convenient comics page was missing about half of its comics for much of the day, and then my evening was dedicated to Valentine’s-related activities. But I’m sure glad I waited, because I was rewarded by the triumphant return of Herb and Jamaal! Yes, this beloved comic was missing for the past … several days? Week? Indeterminate time-unit? I can’t really be bothered to remember. Apparently this absence was a not a result of the Chron’s accounts payable department neglecting to write a check to Creators Syndicate, but rather because the Chron’s upper management was locked in heated negotiations to get this coveted strip back in the paper. Did we miss the moment when Jamaal and Yolanda, who became America’s Sweethearts by default when Seth and Summer were cancelled, finally got together? No, according to this conversation between Yolanda and some mail carrier person whom we’ve never seen before!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/14/11

It’s hard to look at Rex’s freakishly oversized mitt in panel one and not imagine that he’s going to follow up “Dex has already had a taste of unbridled spending” with “and now I’m going to give him a taste of my pimp hand!” Sadly, he instead goes on to actually show a shred of empathy with another human being, which is frankly not the sort of thing the Rex Morgan I know goes in for.

Wizard of Id, 2/14/11

Ha ha, the Wiz — who, as one of the king’s chief advisors, is surely well off — is stealing from impoverished peasants, using sinister magic! At least he isn’t just physically assaulting them, for the crime of being poor.

Mary Worth, 2/14/11

Based on Mary’s nervous coquettishness and Wilbur’s frank leer as he closes the door, this scene reads to me as if Mary’s come to learn some perverse sexual technique — one that only Wilbur can teach her, and one that Mary needs to know if she’s to keep Dr. Jeff’s interest in her. Oh, I’m sorry, did I just disgust and repulse you to the extent that you’ll never want to experience sex, or even human affection, again? Well, too bad. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Gasoline Alley, 2/13/11

Like the Wizard of Id before it, Gasoline Alley knows that the modern world’s extolling of love and romance will inevitably lead to bestiality.

Judge Parker, 2/13/11

I’m sorry, but if you’re going to wear that hideous checkered suit, it’s probably best to avoid anything that might draw attention to it — like using the word “patterned,” for instance.

Panel from Mary Worth, 2/13/11

The artist of Mary Worth decided to spend an entire panel focused on the title character’s shapely legs today, and while we can only speculate on the motivation behind that choice, it certainly seems worth a mention on this blog, your #1 site for Mary Worth news. Enjoy, everybody!

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Family Circus, 2/12/11

Since I so commonly slam on the anonymous Photoshop jockeys who color in the comics with seemingly little care or sense, let me offer them some kudos today for correctly identifying the orange-suited Keane Kid in this panel as Jeffy and filling in his tiny bit of visible hair in the correct ginger color. Could they tell because that hair had a bit of a wave to it (in contrast with Billy’s straight blond hair), or because only Jeffy would be proudly announcing that he needs to be protected by a thick layer of cushioning to prevent him from busting into tears due physical contact with the world? While we will probably never know the answer, I do think we need to note before moving on that Jeffy and his companion are bundled up in their snowsuits despite the fact that there is no snow visible whatsoever.

Apartment 3-G, 2/12/11

“Damn it, I’m trying to woo Trey here, but why would he pay attention to me when she looks so ravishing in her bright orange Chairman Mao suit?”