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Beetle Bailey, 7/28/18

There are so many unsettling aspects about the Halftrack’s marital life, and I’d say that one of the absolute worst is Mrs. Halftrack’s weirdly sublimated horniness. Today’s installment makes it seem like she’s doing vaguely sexy mommy play and then takes a turn to the sexy doggy play and, you know what, normally I don’t endorse the General’s obvious and untreated alcoholism but I’m here to say now: I get it.

Spider-Man, 7/28/18

I don’t pretend to know how exactly the Newspaper Spider-Man Universe maps onto other Marvel continuities, but it’s true that there are tons of other superheroes out there — Iron Man! Wolverine! Black Widow! So, while Peter’s antagonists might eventually realize he’s no ordinary reporter, I’m not sure they’re going to associate “not getting stabbed” as a spider-specific power.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/28/18

It’s pretty funny that Rex assumes Jordan will be catering his own wedding, but, when you think about it, Jordan is Avery’s driver and manservant, and therefore is part of the underclass. He can’t hire anyone to cook for him! He’s a guy who people hire to cook! It just doesn’t make sense!

Funky Winkerbean, 7/28/18

Does … does Mason think they give out Emmys for trite wordplay, or