Read to the end of this post for a surprise! (The surprise is butts)
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Luann, 3/31/25
So last week’s “Brad and Toni are trying to have a baby and it’s making their sex life miserable” riff ended with the two of them (on TJ’s suggestion) running off to go to an amusement park rather than depress themselves with yet another grim session of intercourse. I assumed this was putting a little bow on the plot and we were going to move onto something else this week, except, no, we’re apparently going to be treated (?) to the two of them at the amusement park. Anyway, it’s kind of comforting to be regularly reading this strip again after more than a decade and learn that it’s still doing its thing (its thing is coming up with extremely off-putting euphemisms for sex like “doing ‘maybe baby’”).
Dick Tracy, 3/31/25
Gotta admit I don’t fully get what the deal is in the non-nephew part of this Dick Tracy storyline, but our heroes have connected the mysterious corpse with someone named “Mr. Piltdown” and have roped his poor dentist into trying to positively ID him. That name is probably most famous from “Piltdown Man,” a hoax fossil that was supposed to be a “missing link” between humans and apes but was actually just a fake someone made by combining a human skull with an orangutan jaw and teeth, so I certainly hope this signals that something profoundly weird is about to be revealed by this post-mortem dental exam.
Gil Thorp, 3/31/25
Big news, everyone! Marty’s drinking binge has run its course and now he’s back at his AA meeting, along with a fellow alcoholic named “Clam.” Short for Clambake? A guy can dream!!!! (About a long sob story about how Clambake got caught lying about being in the Negro Leagues and it sent him into a downward spiral of alcohol abuse but then Marty Moon interrupts him by saying “Hey everybody, I’m Marty Moon, from the radio!” and they all applaud.)
Alice, 3/31/25
I know that a classic comics thing is having someone ask a weirdly specific question so that another person can answer it with a punchline, but Disconnection Syndrome is actually a fairly serious neurological disorder. Maybe you should find out why exactly your niece is asking about this rather than just cracking wise, Alice!
The Lockhorns, 3/31/25
So why are you going to someplace called “Coverage Provider Outlet,” guys? That sounds boring as shit!
Blondie, 3/31/25
“Ha ha, but enough about my depressing personal life and my dead marriage! I want to buy all your cupcakes and then throw them in the garbage so my husband can’t have them.”
Hagar the Horrible, 3/31/25
Hey man, did you know you can just put straight-up naked asses in the comics now? God is dead, do what you will, etc.
165 replies to “Read to the end of this post for a surprise! (The surprise is butts)”
GT:
“Yeah, I’m Keanu Reeves. And man, have I bulked up! But my appearance here is only for a role I’ve taken on, so I’m just playing all of you.”
HtH:
That’s a rather cheeky comment in today’s installment.
Leroy and Loretta are faded. Good for them!
Cartoon nudity aside, I’m just excited that Hagar and his fellow Vikings have found themselves on a deserted tropical island, because that must mean the trade winds have sent them on a Kon-Tiki type voyage thousands of miles from home, fated to live out their few remaining days in this unfamiliar and achingly hot hellscape. Skol!
Wrecks Moregone:
Ah yes, the guest from hell who moves in, shares your bed, will not leave, and makes you feel like someone’s sucing your blood.
Belle is a bedbug.
@Ukranazi Stepan: Sorry, that was Wary Morth, not Wrecks Moregone.
With the title of this post, you have no idea how glad I was to realise you weren’t taking about Luann.
DT: Trick question: everyone in the Dick Tracy universe is happy – even delighted, ecstatic, sexually aroused – to look at dead bodies.
Lockhorns: That’s the sign read backwards through the window, so they’re actually called REDIVORP EGAREVOC TELTUO. I’d rank that as “mildly humorous”.
Wrecks Moregone:
Police: “Calm down, sir, are you sure he’s dead?”
(Sound of gunshot)
Augie: “Yes, I’m sure he’s dead now.”
MW: Wilbur is the only one with something green on his plate? I’m only able to suspend disbelief so far.
Also, I REALLY want Belle to scream at Dawn for dribbling pad thai into her decolletage.
RMMD: Oh, Augie, Augie, Augie. You may as well arrest, try and convict yourself now and save the everyone the trouble.
9CL: I’m so confused. This strip is too sophisticated for me.
GT: That second A is for “Anonymous,” Marty, not “Advertising.” I mean, do you REALLY think that guy’s mother named him “Clam?”
HtH: No worries. Lucky Eddie is wearing a funnel similar to his hat over his privates.
GT: “No, I don’t mean your face is familiar from the radio, you nitwit. I recognize you as the man who threw up on my dog the other day.”
GT: The audience responds in unison: “First names only. Jerk!“
Blondie: “His hairy manliness is quite exiting. Got any rum balls?”
MW: while Thais use chopsticks for some dishes, possibly noodle dishes like Dawn seems to be eating they primarily use fork and spoon in combination.
RMMD: how can Augie tell if Stalker is dead?
9CL: isn’t that girl supposed to be 16 or 17? But that guy she’s “in love with” looks like he’s pushing 60
“I know that a classic comics thing is having someone ask a weirdly specific question so that another person can answer it with a punchline” or make a weirdly specific statement with no context, i. e. “The Marvin Corollaly”
Alice: Ehhhh…having connected hemispheres in the brain is overrated, and apraxia will get you out of gym class, kid.
Hagar: Thanks, Trump!
Blondie: “Also, I’m moderately kyphotic and getting more so every day! It’s becoming harder and harder to breathe! Give me six of your best muffins so I can experience pleasure before being confined to a wheelchair for the rest of my life! … Uh, please.”
@Anonymous:
First time ever on this site my user name wasn’t published.
Hagar the Horrible: Seven thousand years of recorded human history, and we have arrived at Lucky Eddie flashing the mermaids. Well, it’s been good to know you all, sorry it had to end this way, Hello future archaeologists, etc.
Also Hagar the Horrible: What’s more offensive? A) Lucky Eddie’s butt or B) The stink emanating from Hagar’s unwashed fur tunic in a tropical climate? The correct answer is C) The stink emanating from Marty Moon’s unwashed sheepskin-lined jacket worn continually since January-ish. (I’m sorry, this is all I got, it’s Monday.)
MW: I see that Wilbur, despite lamenting Dawn’s vegan kick, orders salad when trying to impress a woman. Wilbur, there’s no need for this charade. She can see that you don’t usually eat salad.
GT: So Marty Moon goes to Alcoholics Anonymous on Mondays. “Monday” derives from “Moon’s Day,” so it makes sense that Werewolves Anonymous would meet later in the week.
HtH: You can see the ocean between Lucky Eddie’s legs, and, uh, there’s nothing dangling down from his crotch. Maybe he has more in common with the mermaid than we suspected (i.e. lack of external genitalia).
Lockhorns: You want funny? Try to sign up for insurance while Loretta is holding one of her many disconnected steering wheels.
Phantom: I’d snark about the likelihood of lifeguards actually taking an untrained onlooker out to help in a rescue, but Bangallan beach safety officers apparently need all the help they can get. Even on a Provincial park family lake beach* I’m used to the Zodiac already being anchored in the water at the edge, and an ATV trailer to move it in and out, who has time to wrestle a boat all the way into the water in an emergency?
*admittedly on a lake in the world’s top 10 by size, but still
GT I see multiple people have already covered “Bill W. himself had to go by an initial, but Marty Moon gets to use his last name”. The low hanging fruit gets picked quickly around here.
@jnoble: He would be 72 or 73, the same age as Brooke McEldowney.
Luann – Those amusement park rides sound like something you’d ride in a state that has banned abortion, not ones you’d ride if you want a successful pregnancy.
Dick Tracy – Has a dentist in Neo-Chicago ever been killed by a villain named Ginger Vitas?
Gil Thorp – I thought AA used first names for the principal of anonymity, at least as a sort of ritual practice of equality and humility among peers battling a shared disease. Marty dropping his name and fame feels like a faux pas in the circle of the meeting. You’d think Marty was pitching a new podcast where people’s traumatic battles with addiction would be turned into content.
Alice – Alice is disconnected between the seriousness of the condition, and the cheapness of the joke she is making based on the name.
The Lockhorns – In the offices of State Farm, AAA, Liberty Mutual, et. al, this strip is being tacked to break room boards and shared via Slack as a hilarious joke, because the acronym CPO means something us civilians outside the word of insurance will never get.
Blondie – This wife is going to kill her husband with diabetes.
Hagar the Horrible – Newspapers are dead, Hagar is playing for an audience on Instagram now.
@nescio: HtH – Oh you sweet, summer child, it’s not dangling down as he faces the home of his girlfriend/crush
MW: I have some genuine hope for rabbit-in-a-stew-pot type of antics, but since this is Mary Worth it’ll just take 6 months to get there then we’ll blame Dawn, for some reason.
Hagar the Horrible: In The Prehistory of The Far Side Gary Larson talks about having to carefully redraw an outhouse so the door isn’t open too wide, as well as other stories of light censorship. Anyway, here we are, and we can only hope this is the end of history.
Pluggers never throw anything away. They will consume an unknown medication that might kill them before they will waste 60 cents’ worth of anything.
MW: You just went through this, Dawn. Drop. A. Bowling. Ball. Bonus points if you can land it on that smug psycho face. And if you could also injure Belle, that would be nice too.
Luann: I’m assuming that this storyline ends with Brad and Toni finally being able to conceive after an evening of letting go for some playful fun. Or maybe even during? The only question that remains is on which ride with they finally ‘baby’. My bet is on the Skull Rattler but I couldn’t count out the Gutbuster either.
DT: I’m assuming the man in the last panel is all of us, just waiting to see the dead body. Should I be putting on a three-piece suit to read Dick Tracy? Suddenly it feels like I have to.
GT: “I’m also a part-time mime! Look at how I’m trapped in this glass box, much like I’m trapped in my addiction…”
Luann: Toni has been watching videos of women on slingshot rides, and after one go, her libido will be more aflame than Mary Worth’s desire for world domination.
Family Circlejerk – Why does Jeffy want to be untucked? Doesn’t he just soil the bed when he needs to go?
Alice: Clearly the niece asks these questions daily to track Alice’s deterioration.
HtH: My butt should be so cute.
G. ^*&^*#$! Thorp – For some reason, that woman leading the AA meeting makes me think of Mrs. Horner from Luann. Maybe it’s the delighted visage.
@matt w: yeah, they’ve found the one thing that brings them both mutual joy: getting absolutely blasted and fucking with an insurance agent. Good for them.
Lockhorns: This is a sex thing. And they’ve already been turned down by Erin E-Surance, Flo and Jamie from Progressive, Shaquille O’Neal, Mayhem Guy from Allstate, Geico Gecko, Limu Emu *and* Doug, and the AFLAC Duck. If “Coverage Provider Outlet” passes, they’ll have to start interviewing cereal mascots.
L’horns: I guess the “joke” here is that they want Coverage Provider Outlet Lady to entertain them with some “Flo”-styled funny antics, or maybe pull a gecko out of her desk drawer?
Ok, I have to ask: what’s the deal with “Guest writer: Eric Costello”? He has been Guest Writer for almost two years, shouldn’t he get to be the main signature in the strip? Is it a labour law issue, they get to pay him less if they don’t recognise him “officially” as the writer? Or is it a religious issue, are they waiting for an annulment from their local priest/rabbi/imam before they can make the new union official?
Blondie-“My husband is a bitter mean alcoholic whose sign of love is throwing empty whiskey bottles at me.”
Pluggers have lived long enough to enter their second stage of “What does this pill do? Only one way to find out!”
Dick Tracy: “Dead? Oh dear. Yes, I’m happy to look at the body.”
I can’t think of any joke, pun, or snark that’ll top that.
Lucky Eddie’s ass is there to distract us from the sun having a nipple.
***
Toni and Brad need a distraction, but I don’t know if going to an amusement park with rides named after popular sex moves is the way to do it.
Huh? Not popular? Just me? Fine. I’ll just BustAGut right on out of here.
***
To be fair, the Lockhorns are clearly buying insurance while drunk so a wildly generic name is going to be hilarious to them.
LH: Like that bank in The Simpsons where everyone wears ape costumes.
“Ook ook, are you ready to go Ape?”
Marge: A professional in an ape costume is still a professional.
Tracy must respect this dentist. “I am happy to look at the body” is something you should only say about a living woman or a dead man
Robert Heinlein’s later books had his competent-man trope devolve into a libertarian sex fantasy. A hero of middle age or older, infinitely superior to the fools he has to deal with. The much younger women around him are described as sexually liberated but that liberation amounts to them always desiring him and being available for him. It was only a matter of time before Brooke McEldowney lost interest in his couples being roughly the same age.
You might have wondered how a self-absorbed man with no self control like Dagwood is able to keep a beautiful and devoted wife with her own income like Blondie? Today’s reveal is that all the other husbands in this world are worse!
“Bust a gut” is what a Plugger says when attempting the Young MC hit at karaoke.
“What you mean with a ‘funny insurance company'”
“Well, someone who will not deny us a life insurance after thirty or forty jokes about uxoricide”
Slylock Fox-Where’s Shady’s license plate? I don’t see a license plate.
RMMD-“We shall send over our best person. Rex Morgan. He’s an expert on telling whether people are alive or not.”
FC-Years later Jeffy will be great at tucking himself in.
@Spunky The Wonder Squid: No, the end of history will come after comics pages start publishing Milo Manara completely uncensored.
FC: “This is not a drill!”
Luann-Maybe you would become parents if Brad would stop wearing a condom.
I didn’t notice that the pastry shop is called ‘Blondie’s’ — Irma must be lower than dirt. So, in today’s ‘Blondie’, Blondie’s at Blondie’s
“Speaking of ending up here, I see a familiar face”
“Woah, I thought AA was a judgement-free zone!”
“You made up too many enemies Marty, so shut up you wino!”
“But enough about disconnection syndrome. Let’s talk about macrocephaly, which seems to be a slightly more pressing concern for you.”
HtH: I hope Eddie changes his shtick to pressing his cheeks together and saying, “I am Glute.”
Luann: “First Aid” is the worst ride at the park, because it’s just a pneumatic device delivering chest compressions.
DT: I’m a little worried about the guy who’s “happy to look at the [dead] body.”
Alice: Equally serious is that girl’s encephalitis.
Blondie: The Marvin-Blondie crossover no one asked for!
Lockhorns — “Well, a guy and his wife walk into a Coverage Provider Outlet. . . Hey, where are you going?”
We see the gradual process of Christianisation in the early Middle Ages. Lucky Eddy is still a pagan, so he has no problem consorting with nature, whether dating a mermaid or exposing himself to the sun. Hagar has become Christian and he has learned that the flesh is something to be ashamed of. For now Hagar is on the ascendant, but by the twentieth century naturism will be winning again in Scandinavia!
@Voshkod: I missed the “large skull” riff by *that much*.
DtM: Having just watched Adolescence on Netflix, I gotta think Margaret is playing with fire.
MW: Too bad this was only two panels, and we missed the third panel where Dawn jabbed her chopsticks in Belle’s jugular.
FC: “Oops, never mind. I’m OK now.”
Dustin: I think we’re getting ever closer to a “punchline” where Meg suggests that Dustin unalives himself.
@Anonymous:
Bah! me again. What is happening with my browser?
It’s great to see, given the choice between sitting around their tiny gnome-shack glaring at each other or huffing some nitrous and going out to prank an insurance broker, The Lockhorns have chosen the healthier option. Though it won’t be so healthy when they end up at the emergency room (it’s only a matter of time!) and Leroy has to pull out his AssSniffers Mutual card.
CS: Between Crankshaft pissing away his money on garden tools he doesn’t need, and Jeff pissing away his money on comics he’s already read, Pam is going to have a rough time in her dotage.
9CL: What the hell is this?!?
Lucky Eddie is opening a dangerous Overton window that will lead to Wilbur’s bare flabby cheeks by 2027
Slylock: Once again Slylock uses the semantic miscues of his foes for a conviction. “Right here” refers to the crumpled fender Shady is pointing at. The accident happened at his last stop a few moments ago.
DT: Love the Dental Plaza logo, a tooth with a heart inside. The pear on the laptop in panel 3, not so much.
GT: I wonder about the preceding intervention that resulted in Marty seeking rehab. Did Gil, Beth, Coach Martinez, Coach Gerads, Peaches, and Matilda all threaten to punch him into next month if he doesn’t shape up. I like to think so.
Lockhorns: We want a funnier insurance company because, contrary to what those emu people think, *Doug* is not funny.
Blondie: “I’m home! I brought some cupcakes and apple fritters from Blondie s.”
“Blondie has a bakery?”
“You said her pastries were out of this world.”
“I just saw her walking down the street. . . .”
@taig: It was an easy target, much like that girl’s head.
@Cleveland Mocks: Doug is bland but the Emu is funny though. I think because the whole schtick tries to make them look like some sort of badass 80’s buddy-cop team. But in the end, the emu is still just a emu.
Coverage Provider Outlet goes by “COPRO” for short, which is hilarious. The writer originally made this explicit, but the editors nixed it because they didn’t think they’d get away with publishing that the same day as Lucky Eddie’s ass, and that Hagar strip got submitted first.
GT – The return of CLAMBAKE!!!! Can Tarzana Nights be far behind???
Coverage Provider Outlet’s sign was made to read normally from the inside of the office. This would mean the letters would be nonsense from outside of the office. It would also mean that the office staff has to be reminded where they work regularly. The Lockhorns are basically going to try to take advantage of this situation for insurance fraud is what I’m saying.
GT: To be fair, would you think that was Marty if he didn’t announce himself? He looks like the unholy love child of Cheech Marin and Zap Rosdower.
Lockhorns: I mean, we know joy is extremely hard to come by in the Lockhorns’ world, but there’s something especially sad about Leroy’s eagerness to have the Geico Gecko, Progressive Flo and Jake from State Farm competing for his amusement.
Luann: Lucky for Toni, dumb comes naturally to Brad.
“Dental Plaza is the place for all your dental needs, like seeing a dentist and . . . uh . . . buying floss! Come on down to Dental Plaza whether you have a toothache or . . . let’s see . . . a sore tooth. Yes, Dental Plaza, down on Route 88 next to the Proctology Palace!”
MW: Wilbur finally has to ask: “So Belle, what about your job a Megacorp?”
“MEGACORP???!!! You mean you believed that crap? Oh honey, we’re gonna get along just fine!”
DT – The Dental Plaza is a four-star hotel. They might have made it to five stars, if not for all the communication problems when the guests call the front desk asking for things like “room thervith.”
GT – Kudos to the colorist for figuring out what that thing in the first panel is. To anyone who’s reading this in black and white, it must look like just another incomprehensible Gil Thorp panel.
Alice – Well, that clears up the mystery about WTF is going on with this comic strip. I suggest they rename it “Disconnection Syndrome” or maybe just “Serious Neurological Disorder” from now on!
Blondie: I’m not certain if the co-worker is leaning forward jutting her boobs out like that, is because she’s sassy? Or if she’s just the type of person who likes to jut her boobs out at people.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Jaime, bring my limousine to the door”
“Yes, Don Abundio”
“Where do you want to go, sir?”
“Take the dog for a ride”
“I wouldn’t mind this if Monin weren’t such a backseat driver!”
MW So Wilbur ordered a salad, Dawn got a plate of something with big red peppers and Crazy Lady is chowing down on…corks? I guess I haven’t been to a Thai place in a while..
.
Lockhorns Dude, they are high as hell.
GT “After I lost my announcing gig, I became a gold prospector in Alaska. I’ve been living on nothing but beans, bacon and coffee for six months so just in case something, uh, slips out, you might wanna crack a window.”
@The Rambling Otter: In the Blondie-verse, if you got ’em, flaunt ’em.
C’shaft: Pam, if you won’t take away your dad’s driver’s license the least you can do is take away his credit cards…
Dustin: Shut up, Meg. The only things you’re good at are typing on your phone and mean-spirited comments, and…actually, that seems to be enough to get you a good political career these days.
MT: “Wow, New York has parks!” thinks Mark, who apparently has never been in a major metropolis before.
MW: At this point, Belle’s behavior is less “red flags” and more enormous red swaths of fabric worthy of a Christo installation.
RMMD: So ladies, don’t worry when the local authorities won’t do anything to protect you from stalkers–I mean, they’re bound to die sometime, right?
Luann: I had to read this several times, to figure out where they were.
-Tattoo Parlor?
-A cool chiropractor’s office?
Oh, a theme park. Somehow that’s the least interesting of the three.
DENTAL PLAZA! Sounds like an Arthur Hailey novel.
9CL: This is the other twin, right? The one who’s fallen in love with three different men in the past four weeks? At least she picked a rich old guy today.
So “L” twin is making out with her gangly fiance onstage at the concert hall, and “P” twin is just whoring all over the Upper West Side….
The way women stand in Blondie low-key pisses me off
Luann – So…maybe some of these extreme rides could force something through B-wad’s narrow urethra, thus getting some swimmers where they need to go….
DT – I have it on good authority that Piltdown’s jaw and teeth came from a great ape, Really – I read it on the interwebs….
GT – I’m Marty and I’m an asshole. No fancy steppin’ or spiritual surrender is ever gonna change that….
Alice – It’s when they say you’re in the funnies, but you know it’s a lie….
Shlockhorns – I’d feel better about the impending doom if my insurer is an emu….
Blondie – He didn’t say their treats were out’a this world – he said their teats were out’a this world…cream covered and out’a this world….
HtH – I thought the Norsemen were famous for their full frontal assaults….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Luann – Toni needs to take a ride on the Bustanut.
@pugfuggly:I think a “skull rattler” is what you do if you’re not trying to get pregnant.
Luann – Snap, Crack ‘n’ Pop, formerly known as Chiropractor Plaza.
@Schroduck: Yeah, that one is really for au pair training.
The “Skull Rattler” is just watching the maintenance crew shoot craps in the smoking area behind the power plant. Roll dem bones, boys.
MARY WORTH: Hahaha, look at the pension expression of Dawn’s face! Now there’s a gal contemplating how sharp the tip of those chopsticks are.
HtH: That’s something I like about Hagar, or Hägär, whoever he is. One day he’s robbing the King, and if the writer thinks of a desert island joke, the next day he’s on a desert island. It’s just vignettes from the life of Hagar.
9CL – He seems no longer capable of day to day continuity. This sudden “one of the twins is a gold-digger” plot comes out of nowhere and will lead to the same nowhere. There was a lifeguard who was madly in love with her and vice versa, but Brooke forgot how to draw him and he vanished. Then there was Hitler mustache guy from two days ago who also immediately turned into a white-haired, clean shaven dude with a trust fund between strips.
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@White Rabbit: And when the writer thinks of a psychiatrist joke, the next day Hagar’s on the couch! No concern for the timeline whatsoever!
Tomorrow’s Adventure: Hagar and Lucky Eddie inside a rocket ship in Zero G.
Luann-Toni doesn’t want another child because she already has Shannon and doesn’t want to tell Brad the truth about Shannon.
Dick Tracy: “Yes, I’d be happy to look at the body in my capacity as a dentist. In my professional opinion, he’s had his life extracted by being bashed in the crown with an enamel hammer, being shot full of cavities, and having his midsection knifed all the way through the root canal. I hope you won’t beat the suspect too severely, so the investigation retains at least a veneer of justice!”
Not really supposed to use full names at Alcoholics Anonymous there, Marty, that’s kind of the whole anonymous bit. You definitely aren’t supposed you definitely aren’t supposed to clarify that you’re not just any Marty Moon but the locally famous one from the radio. but then again I’m pretty sure the facilitator isn’t supposed to introduce you with a ‘well, well, well, look who’s rock bottom again’ so I can’t really fault Marty for leaning in and maybe stealing back some power over his situation.
Alice – Disconnection syndrome is when your hair mysteriously floats above your head rather than being attached to your scalp.
GT: I know nothing about brewing coffee, but either that liquid is “extremely” thick, or the dispenser is in serious need of cleaning.
MW: Ironic that the vegan who insisted on eating Thai food isn’t eating a salad but her overweight father is. We all know you’re just eating the croutons, Wilbur!
9cl — So, Polly is a slut, and Lolly is just plain horny?
@Liam: He is probably selfish enough that he took one of those “ribbed for her pleasure” rubbers and turned in inside out.
BTW, big thanks to Josh for restoring the site to its old layout format. This is much easier to read.
Anyone remember the last time that Wilbur was on a date and he forgot his credit card (but remembered his wallet)? I hope we get a repeat performance as he tries to swindle a free meal out of Belle…
HotC – Anyone know why it suddenly looks like “Heart of the City Babies” today?
Frazz – Or, instead of flying, you could run. Have I ever mentioned that I’m a runner?
9CL – WTF? What happened to muscle bound Gerald? He and Polly were talking about getting engaged within a few minutes of meeting. Now she’s picking up a random geriatric guy.
Two thoughts:
1. A young woman who is obsessed with boinking and who acts out sexually with random strangers she just met – this raises some real concerns about parents who raised her with inappropriate behavior. This is a major red flag.
2. All of the men she – and every other woman in the strip – is attracted to have the worst taste in clothing that I have ever seen.
Gil Thorp – This is bringing back unwelcome flashbacks of Funky Winkerbean at his AA meetings. I hope Marty doesn’t deliver a bombastic, never ending monologue about irrelevant subjects.
I need a drink.
Hi & Lois – Mom says, “The only joke I can think of is an April joke, so as far as I’m concerned March 31 is close enough!”
She didn’t say it was a good April joke.
@jnoble: Polly and Lolly are around twenty years old. You’re right about the old guy, however.
Alistair is either sixteen or twenty. He started out four years younger than the twins until Brooke either forgot or changed his mind and made him the same age as the twins. He looks middle aged.
Peanuts Begins – Pathetic, Charlie Brown. What ever possessed you to bid four no trumps?
Blondie – Hahaha! It’s funny because she’s begging to be rescued from an abusive monster!
Sally Forth – Hahaha! It’s funny because she fears and/or longs for obliteration from outer space, about which she can do nothing!
DT: Oh, good grief. I don’t know how likely it is that a busy dentist would go to identify a body rather than just sending a copy of the dental records for comparision by the morgue staff, but I suspect “not very”. What I do know is that if you’re writing a story in which a guy is faking his death using a corpse with the same dental work, you want the second one to happen, unless a) the dentist is in on it, or b) Piltdown actually arranged for “the Sergeant” to visit this very dentist under his name, as part of the plan. (Or, I guess, c) you’re in a real hurry to wrap things up and need the scheme to collapse completely by Wednesday, so you can spend the rest of the week on Piltdown’s ironic death.)
But of course, that still doesn’t make sense, because Dick is only there because the idiot nephews dropped the dental card by accident (they can’t possibly have dropped it on purpose as part of the plan, because they’re idiot nephews), since “asking Claire for the name of her husband’s dentist” is far too much like routine police work for anyone in the MCU to bother with. So if it wasn’t for a stupid coincidence, this whole side of the plan would have been unnecessary.
And if it’s not part of the plan, and Piltdown never intended anyone to talk to the dentist at all, then the fact “the Sergeant” had recent dental work, thereby inspiring this whole line of inquiry, becomes another stupid coincidence.
Crank: Look, I know Pam’s impotent snark over Ed’s worrying tool hoarding is a) supposed to mark her as a joyless wet blanket and b) normally 100% justified, but this one’s just stupid. There’s no point buying a sharpening tool if you only have some of the tools it could potentially sharpen? What? Does Pam also not see the value in owning a USB charger if you don’t own every single device it’s compatable with?
EC: Coach Wally seems like a pretty chill dude. I sincerely hope he’s a sensible, fair-minded figure, whose reaction to Len explaining the whole sorry saga thus far to him will be “Oh, you’re one of those parents.” Because Len really needs to be told he’s one of those parents.
GT: “I fell off the wagon when a sports coach who could see me nervously toying with my sobriety chip encouraged me to have a drink to celebrate that his rival had failed in a deliberate attempt to trigger his PTSD.”
“Marty, have you considered having literally anyone in your life who isn’t a complete asshole?”
“In Milford??“
Pluggers: One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that Pluggers ponder
Don’t do anything at all.
Go ask Alice
With disconnection syndrome.
Lockhorns: others have noted they are drunk/high as all get out. But has anybody else noticed that Loretta is making bedroom eyes at the insurance agent? The insurance agent seems quite sick to her stomach about the obvious fact that this drunk couple is looking for a threesome with an insurance agent.
Luann: Normally trying to psychologically analyze somebody based on the fiction they write is incredibly stupid and not going to work. But newspaper comics are the exceptions that prove the rule, as their writers have a disproportionate tendency to be the kind of weirdos who dump all their extremely unsettling hangups into the writing. Luann is a prime example of this phenomena as shown by this situation, where an ostensibly happily married couple treats sex as some kind of laborious chore to put up with for the sake of fulfilling their societal roles as decreed by nuclear family conservatism and asceticism, something they’d rather put off to continue being “pure”. The comic is nonstop flashing neon signs that say “this writer has severe issues”.
Gil Thorp: Marty strikes me as the type who’d pull out a flask of whiskey and down some in the middle of the AA meeting, probably right as someone is telling a really sad story about how drinking ruined their life.
The Lockhorns: This needs a second panel where a security guard beats the shit out of Loretta and Leeroy than throws their bleeding bodies into the alleyway for wasting the company’s time.
Hagar The Horrible: I wish you all could have heard the “WHAT THE FUCK” me and my wife exclaimed when we saw Eddie’s bare ass fully exposed.
MW – We can tell Belle is crazy because she ordered the dog-turd satay. Because dogs are good!
The AA leader is lying. Since the writer changed everyone’s personalities and the artist changed everyone’s appearance, nothing in Gil Thorp has been recognizable.
@richardf8: It MIGHT be dog satay. Is Bow Thai run by those gosh durn illeegal gang immygrants?
They’re eating the CATS, they’re eating the DOGS…
@Ukulele Ike: Turds. Those are turds. I’m sure they were prepared by a chef named Pierre.
Luann-“Oooh! The Nut Cruncher!”
Gil Thorp-Thank you for identifying yourself. I wouldn’t know who you are with this artwork.
WTF does “doing Maybe Baby” mean?
@Liam: Shannon is gone, I hope she’s drifting out to sea….
@Cody Hurley: #67: Can’t be much worse than Dennis Franz’s bare, flabby ass from “NYPD Blue”.
@Cleveland Mocks: , *Doug* is not funny.
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Interestingly, Liberty Mutual original!y found the actor in a State Farm commercial.
Alfred E. Neuman and the regular gang of idiots predicted Lucky Eddie’s hinder many Marty Moons ago.
@CanuckDownSouth: You don’t seem to understand scrotums.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Better Dennis Franz’s bare, flabby ass in one scene of “Blue” than the ENTIRETY of “Cop Rock”.
@ectojazzmage:
I think I heard it. Not positive though.
HtH: that desert island is just Newfoundland in summer.
@Tim Pendergast: An attempt to be cute but really just 2 words that rhyme
@GarrisonSkunk:
Al Jaffee, Don Martin, Sergio Aragonés
Thank you, Luann! Stupid puns= baby-making joy! At last, we know the way!
@Nobody: And the answer is, “Name three comic artists who put these schmucks to shame.”
I would also accept Stan Sakai.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: #133: I think “Cop Rock” proved that cop shows had exhausted every plot angle. The networks use that reason to explain why they don’t make westerns anymore, yet every year we get a new crop of cop shows. Ditto for doctor and lawyer shows.
HtH: Strange how it’s OK to show Lucky Eddie’s bare ass but never Honi’s.
My device isn’t showing the cotw winner
@Nobody: It was me. I always win.
“Lucky Pierre” is my other nickname around here.
@Tim Pendergast: WTF does “doing Maybe Baby” mean?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Having sex strictly for reproductive purposes.
NJL Insurance : No Jingles or Lockhorns
@Tim Pendergast: WTF does “doing Maybe Baby” mean?
________________________________
Go ask ALICE, when she’s 10 foot tall.
@Ukulele Ike: Savoir Fair est everywhere!
“I’m Marty Moon, and I need to start a chainsaw in here.”
Actually, knowing those meetings, wouldn’t hurt.
Alice:”Its when all your facial features hover around your face instead of being firmly attached..See Picasso Syndrome.”
@Guillermo el chiclero: HtH: Strange how it’s OK to show Lucky Eddie’s bare ass but never Honi’s
________________________________
Lute’s actor has a strict No Nudity contract.
@Nobody: Al Jaffee, Don Martin, Sergio Aragonés
_________________
Yep, the article was called something like WHEN THIS NUDITY TREND HITS THE COMIC PAGE,
The only example I recall off hand was Olive Oyl recognizing a skinny dipping Popeye because his butt cheeks and spine end resembled his chin and nose.
#152: And Dick Tracy recognized Pruneface in a men’s locker room because his ass was as wrinkled as his face.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I think “Cop Rock” proved that cop shows had exhausted every plot angle.
Except for Fish Police and the deeply lamented Police Squad.
Leroy is in the GEICO office and won’t leave until he can talk to the little English lizard. More on this story as it develops.
GT: Today’s GT strip is refusing to unfurl itself on this CC post, which is actually fine wi…oh damn, there it is.
LUANN: Given that the alleged heroine of LUANN has been nineteen for about eight years, it seem conceivable (Har!!) that Toni’s inevitable pregnancy could last from this current magic month until, say, March of 2028. I can’t decide if that would be better or worse than her popping the kid out in a more timely fashion.
@Poteet: Seems, not seem, sorry. I blame the stress of knowing that The Bwadoni Conception is almost certainly going to occur shortly. It was too much to hope for, that the DeGroot line would mercifully die out.
From the headline, I was hoping for Mary Worth. Hoping, and fearing, in truth. Hoping, nonetheless.
@White Rabbit: Don’t forget Sledge Hammer.
Dustin: If Dustin ever snaps, I think i know who his first victim will be
Luann: “Doing ‘Maybe Baby'” THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL THING THAT ANY HUMAN BEING OF ANY AGE SAYS
I am gonna miss “Blue Bloods”.
It taught me the greatest danger to the citizens of NYC were the media and women in politics.
Luann:
Maybe baby, I’ll have you
Maybe baby, you’ll be true
Maybe baby, I’ll have you for me
— Buddy Holly
Does anyone else find it weird that a boring commodity product like insurance has the funniest commercials?
Dick Tracy: I genuinely love the work that’s gone into this strip! The Piltdown Man gag on the fake (or substitute) corpse, Sam Ketchum’s easily identifiable silhouette in panel two; even the “Pear” logo on the laptop made me grin.
That said, “I’m happy to look at the body,” isn’t a normal response, Doctor DentalPlaza. Show a little more reluctance, won’t ya?