Archive:

Post Content

So ends the 2018 Fall Comics Curmudgeon Fundraiser. So exciting! Thank you, generous readers!


Sherman’s Lagoon, 12/1/18

In Slylock Fox, the judge is invariably an owl. That won’t work under water of course, but why an octopus? It’s the long arm of the law, not the many arms. Some Hawaiian people believe the octopus is the sole survivor of a previous creation, but that still seems like Slylock Fox territory. All hands on deck? Many hands make light work?

It would be funnier with eight gavels.

Crankshaft, 12/1/18

In the final days of Apartment 3-G, the characters swapped identities and chanted incoherently as they swirled about the frame. At last, we have a successor.

Funky Winkerbean, 12/1/18

So all week long it’s been “Funky is a jerk at the gym,” alternating between his passive-aggressive whining and jumping on some lady’s treadmill to “draft” her haha. Now he’s inevitably stumbled off the machine, but instead of being greviously injured out of simple justice, he’s been thrown onto the leg press machine for his last exercise of the day.

Why finish up with the leg press? Because it’ll give him a big number so he’ll come back tomorrow. Despite his pathetic cardiovascular conditioning and will-o’-the-wisp upper-body strength, Funky has quads of iron from keeping all that mass upright all day. With his leg muscles isolated and the 45° rails carrying half the weight, he can probably press a quarter ton. See you again tomorrow, Samson.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/1/18

After two weeks of nonstop kidney disease, we pause in the final panel to confront the tragedy of color blindness. I hope the grub in Jordan’s Generic House of Food is better than the décor.


— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

Oh my gosh it’s the last day of the 2018 Comics Curmudgeon Fall Fundraiser! Hurry!


Spider-Man, 11/30/18

Ridiculous get-up? Check! Paralyzing insecurities? Check! Unreliable super-powers? Check!

Looks like our Spidey has met his match!

Mary Worth, 11/30/18

“Dr. Jeff is an emasculated tool” Mary Worth is the best Mary Worth.

Now before anybody gets all “ditch the cat,” let me remind you that Mary once dumped a very promising boyfriend because he didn’t share Mary’s passion for seafood. And I’m betting Libby has no problems chowing down the chum. What’s more, Libby doesn’t seem to be allergic to Jeff, does she? So who’s at fault here, really?

If this gets any better I may wet myself.

On the Fastrack, 11/30/18

Dethany cruelly taunts co-workers who died of starvation.

Mark Trail, 11/30/18

Ol’ Sleepy-Eyed José is sounding sketchier by the minute: “Um, guys, those kids you asked me to take to Santa Poco? Well, we all got there, but they’re not with me anymore. They’re in some kind of trouble; don’t ask me what exactly: maybe they stumbled onto something? Certainly no murderous motorcyclist knife-throwing gang leader is chasing them across rooftops — that’s ridiculous, why did I even bring it up? Anyway, get up here quick — and by “here,” I mean a place I’ll call and tell you all about later!”

But Professor Carter will take any excuse to abandon his rest-stop-men’s-room headquarters for a ride in that sweet diesel crew-cab, with the air turned up to blast away the urinal-cake smell.


Guys: find yourself a girl who looks at you the way Dethany looks at donuts.

— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

It’s the 2018 Comics Curmudgeon Fall Fundraiser! Contribute by credit card, PayPal, check, cash, Patreon, or membership! So many ways!



Gil Thorp, 11/29/18

Not just a half-assed coach and film critic — a half-assed league administrator!

Six Chix, 11/29/18

Another quiet Thanksgiving at the Lawton place. Um, yay, I guess?

Funky Winkerbean, 11/29/18

“Remember — it’s important not to drop it!”

“How about if I just drop you instead?”

“That is a ten pound plate, you ridiculous sack of pudding; a child could lift it. It can land on your goddamn potato nose for all I care, I am so done with your crap.”

Phantom, 11/29/18

Ha, look at the Ghost mimicking his daughter’s knockout stance. Father of the Year, right there: “FINISH HIM!!!”


— Uncle Lumpy