The Comics Curmudgeon

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To be fair, I wouldn’t to do anything together with either Hi or Lois

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Hi and Lois, 1/23/26

Now, if you only have a surface understanding of my whole deal, you’re going to read this and say, “Ooooh, Josh is going to make a joke about Hi and Lois having sex.” Absolutely wrong! Look at their near-panicked facial expressions in the first panel. I’m not sure what exactly is going on in the room to which they’ve retreated in panel two, but it’s not sex. Probably crying, if I had to guess.

Alice, 1/23/26

Speaking of facial expressions conveying negative emotions, from Alice’s stricken facial expression here I do not think we’re supposed to be taking the “Hoarder’s Hell” caption as being “fun” or “ironic”! Do you think living in a vast and mostly featureless void like the Aliceverse makes it more pleasant to be a hoarder, because you have infinite room to put all your stuff, or less pleasant, because there are no external brakes on your compulsion? Based on Alice’s whole vibe here, I’m thinking it’s the latter.

Intelligent Life, 1/23/26

If you want a picture of the future, imagine two absolutely insufferable dork-ass nerds saying “Got the reference!” back and forth to one another — forever.

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Monday is for the birds

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Alice, 12/22/25

One of the distinctive features of Alice comics is the little … title? caption? … that goes in the bottom margin. Usually it just sort of adds to the vibe, but sometimes it’s important for the narrative. For instance, real Alice fans (which I assume include all of you) know that just a few weeks ago she was declaring that new cars don’t need “all that stuff,” and it’s making them too expensive. So you’d be tempted to angrily declare “Alice! I can’t believe you’re backsliding on all the features new cars have!” except then you look down at the bottom of the panel and see the word “backsliding,” so you know she’s being self-aware about it.

Shoe, 12/22/25

Speaking of real fans, real Shoe fans instantly recognize “Madame Zoo Doo,” the strip’s resident psychic, just from her character design. I personally don’t think it’s realistic that she’d bring her crystal ball with her to lunch at Roz’s diner. It’s not necessary and frankly a little insulting to think that we wouldn’t recognize her without it. I demand that my relationship with this syndicated newspaper comic about depressed bird-people be grounded in mutual respect!

Mary Worth, 12/22/25

Wait, is Toby changing her plans because she wants to spend more time with Sunny, and she can’t at her friend’s opening? Because “A semi-professional art gallery in a small California college town has a strict no-birds policy” is actually one of the less realistic propositions Mary Worth has ever offered us.

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Unsettling Friday

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Blondie, 12/12/25

Mr. Dithers is no doubt all too well acquainted with Dagwood’s relationship with food, so he’s no doubt well aware of how transgressive a statement he’s just made to his employee. Dagwood’s thing with food isn’t about sex — it’s much, much deeper — so fortunately for Dithers this doesn’t fall under sexual harassment regulations. Honestly, employment law doesn’t even have a name for what just happened here, but that doesn’t make it any less shocking.

Dennis the Menace, 12/12/25

“There can be no punishment greater than to no longer feel the gaze of God upon you. But if God knows that you will never transgress against His commandments, will He not inevitably look away?” is some pretty menacing theology, I have to admit.

Alice, 12/12/25

Hello, friends. Have you been looking for opinions about the new crowdfunding platforms? Well, I’ll tell you one place you shouldn’t look: the syndicated newspaper comic strip Alice. Alice doesn’t think about the new crowdfunding platforms. She doesn’t think about them at all!