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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/15/26

Oh, I had sort of forgotten that Lonnie didn’t just turn to blackmail because he was evil; he was actually acting out of financial desperation, which hasn’t gone away just because Mae Mae decided she doesn’t care about privacy, actually. Ha ha, look at him burying his face in his hands as his world falls apart around him! This scheme was his last hope!

Alice, 5/15/26

Part of the whole deal of newspaper comics is that their characters are at least a little bit silly. Are they really qualified to opine on the big issues of the day? Shouldn’t they simply sit silently and learn more about all this complicated stuff from their betters on cable news talk shows?

Mary Worth, 5/15/26

Tommy! No! No!! Not your beautiful locks! Please don’t take this route to self-harm! Do drugs instead! Do all the drugs you want!

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Alice, 5/6/26

Remember how at one point Alice thought that new cars were too expensive because of all the crazy new features they had, but then just a few weeks later decided that she could get spoiled by all those new features? Well, good news: she’s still holding the line. Her old car is perfect! No technology!! And it gets her where she wants to go.

Dick Tracy, 5/6/26

“It’s because he’s a notorious criminal who someone recently broke out of prison for no doubt nefarious purposes! We’re all cops and he’s been one of our nemeses for years, so I’m not sure why I have to say that out loud, honestly. Are we on a Netflix show now, where studio execs have mandated that we need to keep repeating key plot points back and forth to one another because everyone’s on their phones and only half paying attention?”

Gil Thorp, 5/6/26

Hey, kids, do you think golf is a game that old people play and other old people watch on television? Well, Gil Thorp, the comic strip about and for (?) teens, is here to prove that wrong! It’s a sport that young people play and other young people stream on the YouTube app on their phones! Probably! Would a comic strip lie to me?

Mary Worth, 5/6/26

“It’s your mom! Which means our relationship is an abomination and I’m leaving you. Smell ya later!”

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Intelligent Life, 4/24/26

You could use Intelligent Life to do a whole in-depth analysis of how the position of the nerd has changed in American culture over the past couple decades: the strip’s nerdy main characters still have the chip on their shoulders of social outcasts who push against the grain with their insular hobbies and interests, but they now spend their days discussing the massive box office takes of hegemonic superhero franchises. The strip cast also includes “Barry,” on the left here, a beefy jock who mainly serves to illustrate the humiliation of the normie in today’s nerd-ruled world as he can’t get a date and is constantly failing at work. At least he “gets it” when it comes to Fridays. Fridays, am I right? The last refuge of the regular guy who likes wings and beer? Even the ascendant hardcore geek has to acknowledge that that’s pretty cool? I genuinely don’t know what this strip is supposed to be about, honestly.

Alice, 4/24/26

One of the fun (“fun”) little subplots in Alice is that Alice has a bunch of weird aliens living under her floorboards, and one of them is romantically obsessed with her. Anyway, did you know that these guys are here because they’re supposed to be stopping all the wars? And they’re not doing a good job, because Alice is so darn alluring? Damn you, Alice, you temptress! So much blood is on your sexy, sexy hands!

Dennis the Menace, 4/24/26

I’m sorry, man, but there’s no way you can turn being a responsible pet owner into an act of menacing. I don’t care how egregious a poop pun you make about it.