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Apartment 3G, 9/2/07

Oh, crap. Nora, here, who appears to be suffering from the same three-panel age acceleration as Tommie, looks like she’s becoming the focus of a Margo-related storyline. This means that for me to understand what’s going on with Margo, I need to pay attention to this person who looks just like her, but is deeply, profoundly, vastly more boring. Can anybody help? Somebody’s sister, and there’s a sick kid, and a drug addict with a gas leak? China, and some people there? Oh, crap.

Nice skeptical eye-rolling by Tommie ‘n’ Luann in #4, but this Nora thing, hmf.

The Phantom, 9/2/07

I’ll confess to letting ol’ Sunday Stripey slide a little after the Beryl Markham fantasy plot — hey, The Phantom has two separate plots to follow, okay? — but here it is in a nutshell: “Mumble mumble artifacts mumble not really grave-robbers mumble mumble that lady is pretty hot mumble heh heh guy’s making owl noises.” Phantom totally called him on it! NEXT!!!

Funky Winkerbean, 9/2/07

Well, at last here’s something I can understand. Having accepted Lisa’s imminent death just last night, Les is now working hard to bring it about. And he brought Darrin and little Summer along to help! Ah, the family that plays together. . . wait, that’s just not gonna work, is it?

— Uncle Lumpy

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Comic mockery takes character — the mental toughness to cackle at metastasis and ridicule heartbreak. That’s why we reserve special scorn for characters who surrender to mawkish sentimentality — as in today’s shameful display.

Mark Trail, 9/1/07

The more this Homer hangs around Shirley the Duck, the softer and balder he gets. On track toward the Omega Point of hairless virtue, he can face Mark without fear.

Mary Worth, 9/1/07

Introducing Playa Drew Corey’s Love Philosophy: “Let it Slide” — or, in his own taxonomy, “Let it Die.” Tell us how that works out for you, Drew, baby — we’ll be . . . waaaaaay over there. Oh, and Clambake called. He wants his hand back.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/1/07

Peter, you lame-ass. Make the evil-eye all you want, you are making coffee for your boss’s nanny. Got it? The Shocker would be ashamed — and that’s a looooong way down, pal!

Apartment 3G, 9/1/07

Who’s that gal muffin-toasting her new beau? Noooooooooo. . . .!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Spend half your life in school and the end of August brims with dread. Here comes!

Mark Trail, 8/31/07

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It begins with smiles — smiles and good, hot coffee savored with the one you love, in a special place in the sun it feels like God created just for you. But it ends in fists — fists, and hair.

So, Elrod — pick up the pace a little, willya?

Apartment 3G, 8/31/07

Oh, this will end in tears. Not only does Tommie have a chance at happiness — she has two, in the persons of Gary Bland and Dr. Joe Doctor. Apparently, this ages her from a toddler in panel 1 through panel 2’s young adult, to the garish, pitted, furrowed crone of #3. Tomorrow’s strip may have her crumbling to dust, muttering somebody’s name — but whose? Meanwhile, Margo’s fixin’ to hate on her, no matter how it turns out.

Funky Winkerbean, 8/31/07

It’s a measure of how far we’ve come in Funky Winkerbean that the arrival of Les’s bête bleu (extruded into the narrative as “my imagination’s wicked way of personifying depression”) is the most interesting thing to happen in months, birthchild reunion and Congressional testimony notwithstanding. With any luck, we’ll enjoy weeks of manufactured irony: “It’s Lisa who’s dying, but Les who is sick!”

Pearls Before Swine, 8/31/07

Theme or no theme, there’s some stuff you just can’t pass by. You gotta love panel 2’s Socialist Realist fanart of Jeffy, and the Dolly pennant. Dare we dream of a day when all the comics exist solely to mock other comics, and our work here is done? Because that would be a day, my droogies; that would be a day.

— Uncle Lumpy