Archive: Apartment 3-G

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Apartment 3-G, 6/22/07

“Thank God! Her mental functions don’t seem to have been affected at all!”

Pluggers, 6/22/07

Pluggers smell worse than you can possibly imagine.

Folks, I am off to make my mark in the Big Apple this weekend! As of Thursday morning, there were still tickets available to the show I’m in up there Friday night, so for God’s sake come and serve as my rooting section, I beg of you.

Also, at some point on Sunday (I cannot guarantee yet what time, but probably in the first half of the day) I will probably be wandering about at the MoCCA artfest. How long I stay will be determined by how awkward I find it not really knowing anyone, but if you happen to be there, look for me! I will look pretty much like this (I’m even bringing that shirt to wear).

Sadly, due to my absence this weekend, I won’t be posting until Sunday night or Monday morning, and am putting a cap on comment of the week as of right now. Thus, the comments on this thread are free from performance pressure! GO NUTS WITH THE ANARCHY, EVERYBODY!

While you’re here contemplating my absence, though, you may come to think, “Gee, why didn’t I get one o’ them swell Margo!Boxcar!Saturn! shirts when I had the chance?” Well, fear not: if we can get enough interest (and “enough interest” means preorders for at least 24 shirts and/or 36 mugs), you can have that second chance — and this time, they’re in cranberry! HOTT!

Shirts are $17 + $5 S&H. Mugs are $13 + $5 S&H. Gotta have ’em both? $30 + $5 S&H. As before, you can order at the site of faithful reader willethompson, the mad genius who designed them.

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Apartment 3-G, 6/20/07

I’m very excited that Apartment 3-G has torn itself away from Roommate In A Coma to instead explore some queasy-making intrafamilial sexual ick. It’s becoming clear that Nora Mills, who as near as I can tell is supposed to be the widow of Eric’s brother, has clearly got a taste for Mills men that only another Mills man can satisfy. Questions remain: Is Eric’s Katy’s real father? Did Eric choose Margo as a romantic partner because she and Nora essentially look exactly alike? Will Nora and Margo settle this with icy glares and cutting remarks, fists, or shivs? Is that RING RING RING the most exciting panel-to-panel transition in Apartment 3-G history? And, what with Katy’s hair having grown back, is it possible that Margo’s party planning actually cures cancer?

Dick Tracy, 6/20/07

So Dick Tracy is onto a new baffling and anger-inducing storyline, which so far involves:

  • A wizened old Baron who’s an ex-Communist spy or something
  • His bizarrely leather-faced granddaughter in peril, Gretchen
  • Some bewildering and totally made up post-Soviet pretend politics and intrigue
  • A CIA headquarters building with a “CIA HEADQUARTERS” sign visible from miles away

None of that has been enough to rouse me to comment. However, I do have to say that I appreciate the artist’s bold choice in the third panel to focus the action squarely on Dick Tracy’s crotch.

Mark Trail, 6/20/07

Man, it’s hard to count all the things wrong with today’s Mark Trail, but let’s start with Mark’s casual posture and shit-eating grin in panel one. It says “I’m all relaxed and ready for some phone sex” and not “I just almost got killed and then spent an hour rooting around inside a duck’s intestines.” Then there’s the idea that a two-seater private plane running into a bird is somehow big enough news to travel all the way back to Lost Forest — presumably everything Mark Trail does or says is front page news in the local paper — and the fact that Mark himself didn’t bother to be the one to relay said drama to his wife. There’s the par-for-the-course emphasis problem in Cherry’s first word balloon — that should be “how are you”, not “how are you” — and someone in the syndicate has clearly bowdlerized “that whore” into “the young lady” in panel two. But mostly I’m just disturbed by Cherry’s melting nightmare of a face. PLEASE MARK DON’T MAKE HER SAD ANYMORE IT’S FREAKING ME OUT.

Mary Worth, 6/20/07

More proof that Mary and Jeff are very much not ever getting it on: if Dr. Corey Junior thought for a single moment that there was the slightest sliver of a chance that he might accidentally walk in on the two of them having sex, you can bet that he’d be knocking, very loudly.

Actually, Mary’s pretty lucky that her not-boyfriend’s son arrived when he did. Dr. Jeff really doesn’t want to go this party, and in panel one he’s pretty clearly sizing up his cane as a potential weapon.

Spider-Man, 6/20/07

In any marriage, there’s a certain amount of give and take, compromises two partners have to make so that they can both get what they want, even — or perhaps especially — when it comes to sex. Clearly the Parkers have just finished off a rousing session of healthy marital relations, and, as is their custom, they left the TV on throughout, due to Peter’s insistence on bitching at and about it at all times.

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Apartment 3-G, 6/17/07

To honor the professional nature of the setting and somber tone of the occasion, Blaze has finally taken off his moronic cowboy hat.

Hi and Lois, 6/17/07

The artist of Hi and Lois has had secondhand accounts of hippies relayed to him, but has never actually met one, or seen a picture of one.

Judge Parker, 6/17/07

Sam finally admits it: Sophie is smarter than he is.

Spider-Man, 6/17/07

Spider-Man believes that throwing his wife into the air constitutes foreplay.