Archive: Archie

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Sincere thanks to everyone who contributed to the Comics Curmudgeon 2011 Spring Fundraiser! In case you missed it, you can still use the “Donate” button on the left to make an online contribution, or drop me a line at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net for Josh’s address — but no more organized fundraising for another six months or so. Thanks again.


Gil Thorp, 3/13/11

Hornéd Armani-lovin’ B-ballin’ “second-teamer” Lini Verde — rooted by a steamy wave 200-strong, Miss Ducey! Gil Thorp redefines “incomprehensible filth” for a new generation. Stand aside, Peter Greenaway!

Barney Google & Snuffy Smith, 3/13/11

“Trading wood” isn’t a thing now, is it? Somebody please tell me it’s not a thing. Because those smiles are creeping me right out, and I’m afraid to Google it.

Mary Worth, 3/13/11

Oh please for the merciful love of Heaven let them be talking about kites ….

9 Chickweed Lane, 3/13/11

OK, somebody’s got to get through to Team Chickweed that “portrays characters of diverse sexual orientations” does not mean “more opportunities for random couplings.” Well, that, but not only that.

Archie, 3/13/11

Hey Pop, you got to put on the special glasses for that.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Thanks to everyone everywhere who sent me a link to this magnificent spoof trailer for a gritty, realistic Archie movie:

And now … your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Is this strip still about the horrible Twitter? Or is it about Wilbur’s loneliness and depression? I’m honestly not sure at this point.” –S. Stout

And your runners up! Very funny!

“I do like Abe reclining in the rocking chair with his hands behind his head. ‘That’s right, George, he shot me here, right in the back of the head! While I was at a fucking theatre!’” –Mooncattie

“I am surprised to not see any snark about Luann’s mom telling her to be like a cockroach. I would post some myself, but don’t want to admit I read that strip of my own free will.” –NoahSnark

“As annoying as it is when a long-running series is used to launch a disconnected spin-off, it’s also hard not to be excited about Jim Scancarelli’s new ‘Dead presidents in rocking chairs bitching about Earth from Hell’ strip.” –Jaliben

“I am starting to think that Wilbur and Dawn are actually the same person à la Fight Club. Like most ‘women’ online, Dawn is actually a frumpy, balding, middle-aged man. Wilbur’s alter ego is becoming autonomous, and only the brown syrupy juice of the Peyote plant can bring them back together.” –Jesse

“Hey, Wilbur, there’s a website I think you might want to check out. It’s called boundaries.com.” –Violet

“I doubt Loweezy can write, or that the Parson’s wife can read for that matter, so the ‘recipe’ she handed over is probably the eight slightly squiggly lines we see in the comic.” –TheTJ

“Since I didn’t get the part as Edward in the Twilight movies, I’ve lost all interest in vampirism. Except the bats. The bats I like.” –Scott Bot

“I still have hopes that the lady and her daughter are just hallucinations of rescue brought on by Mark’s massive blood loss. And also, that all of those seagulls are really vultures.” –BRWombat

“Mommy, guess how much stupid weighs!” –Doctor Handsome

“The most realistic part of this is that Mary and Rex are still fully clothed.” –Oregonian

“To be fair, mommy’s recipe calls for almost 40 lbs. of children.” –js

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Mary Worth, 1/22/10

What an appropriate epigraph for this strip! Just as the silence of John Cage’s 4′ 33″ allows the audience to hear everyday and incidental sounds anew, so too has the mental silence of Mary’s forced forgetting allowed Jill to hear the quiet, clear voices in her head, the ones urging suicide.

Archie, 1/22/10

The Archie gang’s experiment with polyamory does not appear to be going well! Guys, it’s important that you negotiate with your primary partners to establish mutually agreed parameters of relationships with secondary partners if this is going to work.

Luann, 1/22/10

Shannon’s preparation for her future life as a deranged but charismatic dictator is going disturbingly well.