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Judge Parker, 3/16/17

Oh, hey, good news, finally the some of the escaped/released teens in Judge Parker are talking to the police, and telling their disturbing tales of captivity! I’m sure some of you sickos have been waiting for the moment when Sophie’s sexy teen lust object Derek finally dropped his pants, and now I hope you’re suitably chastened and muttering “Not like this, not … like this” under your breath.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/16/17

Ironically, as panel three demonstrates, the number one cause of shoulder injuries in Hootin’ Holler is flappin’ yore arms around as you laugh uproariously at yore own li’l joke.

Dennis the Menace, 3/16/17

“Like here, in the crawlspace of this abandoned house where all the bodies are. Definitely she wouldn’t want me hanging out here!”

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Hagar the Horrible, 2/27/17

Oh, man, it looks like the ongoing Hagar the Horrible exploration of the Norse transition from paganism to Christianity just got simultaneously more philosophical and more real. Because when you stop believing in a pantheon of fallible deities who fight amongst themselves and start worshipping an all-knowing, all-powerful, omnibenevolent creator God, you quickly run into the problem of theodicy: why do bad things happen to good people? How can a God capable of perfect action be displeased with, or even hostile towards, His own creations? We can see that some of the vikings are having an easier time reconciling these contradictions than others.

Hi and Lois 2/27/17

At the other end of the Walker-Browne Cinematic Universe’s timeline, our heroes are grappling with a decidedly more modern problem: an economic system that crushes the lives of its laborers so thoroughly that all they can do in their off time is more work. Any God is invisible to them behind so many layers of capitalist apparatus.

Mark Trail, 2/27/17

Look, Cherry, Mark was just thinking about wolves last week, OK??? He just … is it wrong for a guy to sit around spending his spare time thinking about wolves? And for one species of howling canid to prompt a pop-culture reference to another, closely related species????? Jeez, leave Mark alone, Cherry! (Real talk: Mark seems to be having some problems, and he better get his headspace in order before he becomes “Dirty”‘s prey.)

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/27/17

Ha ha, it’s funny because … Loweezy is losing weight because she’s clinically depressed? That … that’s not funny at all, actually.

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Hagar the Horrible, 2/26/17

The half-fish sea-witches who live just offshore from Hagar’s village have a ravenous hunger for human flesh. There’s only one defense against them: because they are immortal, the sight or smell of any dead thing repulses them and keeps them at bay. Hagar is suffering here to defend his people!

Panels from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/26/17

In the grinding rural poverty of Hootin’ Holler, even the children’s games stick close to the foundation of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Crankshaft, 2/26/17

As well you shouldn’t, Crankshaft! Literally everybody dislikes you!