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Shoe, 11/11/16

Happy November 11th, everyone! Do you remember that this is the anniversary of the day the guns of the Great War went silent, and there was a brief, idealistic window of hope that the slaughter had been so terrible that humanity would never fight a war again? And November 11th was supposed to be remembered forever as Armistice Day, the day the killing stopped? Ringing a bell? For anyone? The dashed optimism? No?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/11/16

After it became clear that we were going to keep fighting wars and making more veterans, November 11th got rebranded as Veterans Day, and so it’s often an opportunity for comic strips to make you uncomfortable by reminding you that their protagonists fought in World War II, which ended more than 70 years ago. Please enjoy this depiction of Snuffy Smith bursting out of his threadbare uniform, and when you’re done with that, please enjoy Snuffy Smith in Hillbilly Blitzkrieg, now available in its entirety on YouTube. The movie is so unwatchably bad I was wasn’t able to get through more than a few minutes of it, but I checked the Wikipedia summary and I need to steel you for disappointment: despite the promise of the title, Snuffy does not actually fight for Nazi Germany in the film.

Crankshaft, 11/11/16

Ed Crankshaft is also a World War II vet, but on this day he’s chosen not to dwell on the past. Instead, he’s thinking about the future, the future where cold, soulless machines will displace human warmth, and it fills him with despair.

Mark Trail, 11/11/16

Well, we all knew the chopperslosions couldn’t go on forever, so I’m glad Mark Trail is allowing us to taper off by at least showing us some hot (literally) smoldering wreckage action. It’s extremely funny to me how quickly Cal’s mind turns from “rescuing Mark and Abbey” to “fleeing in this boat, Mark and Abbey will be fine, probably.”

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/31/16

On today, Satan’s favorite holiday, Snuffy Smith makes a big show of his contempt for God!

Crankshaft, 10/31/16

Crankshaft serves a vital role in his community, but he’s so bad at his job that some of the people who depend on him angrily vandalized his house!

Dennis the Menace, 10/31/16

Mr. Wilson has no qualms about telling Dennis that he believes the child to be a literal demon, from hell!

Hi and Lois, 10/31/16

Dot and Ditto are trying to bring a divided nation together politically, but their candy-based tax proposals will lead to economic ruin!

Mary Worth, 10/31/16

Wilbur definitely will not be regretting spending the next year far, far away from his sad sack daughter and his girlfriend who wants to spend all her time closely monitoring her pill-popping son!

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Beetle Bailey, 10/28/16

Haha, it’s funny because the ladies in the office sure do enjoy goofing off on the computer, amiright? Women, huh fellas? Always with the shopping and the … uh … solitaire … wait, what the … COMPUTER, ENHANCE

ENHANCE

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DECK OF CYBER-CARDS IS PRIVATE BLIPS EVEN PLAYING WITH HERE

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/28/16

Pretty weird how Snuffy is a notorious small-time chicken thief/card cheat with no job or other legitimate means to support his family and yet his failed attempt to carve a jack-o-lantern is what finally drives him to performatively enact some visible, ritualized atonement? Either that or he’s just coming up with a quick excuse for why he’s walking around with a knife.

Family Circus, 10/28/16

I admire Jeffy for always coming with a new quip to go with his patented jaunty “I just took a huge dump” strut, though I think they’re getting kind of belabored at this point.

Rex Morgan, 10/28/16

DEPICTED IN PANEL THREE: extremely rare footage of the rampup to Morgan-on-Morgan sexual intimacy