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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/23/19

Wow, normally Snuffy’s perennial battles with the law are played for laughs in this strip, but here we see that in fact they place great emotional burdens on his family! Probably financial ones, too! Hootin’ Holler’s social dysfunction is all-pervasive and crushing!

Gil Thorp, 10/23/19

Folks, I don’t mean to be a “negative nancy” but I need to call out bad behavior when I see it. Today’s Gil Thorp narration boxes inform us that “Having struck out with his wife, Chet Ballard goes to an ally on the school board” in an attempt to trick us into thinking something sexy and interesting is about to happen. But I can assure that this is very much not the case.

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Funky Winkerbean, 10/6/19

Oh, ha ha, the thing he was wearing: his football helmet! His football helmet, which this highway patrolman yanked off his corpse to present to his widow. Do you think there’s some blood and brains and stuff inside there? Probably at least a little, right?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/6/19

I guess I’m kind of surprised that a newspaper comic did a strip about how undeveloped rural communities often turn to unsustainable extractive industries for short-term economic survival because they don’t have the luxury to consider the long-term consequences. But now that one’s here, I’m not at all surprised it’s a Snuffy Smith.

Judge Parker, 10/6/19

Were you worried that Marie’s new gig with the Spencer-Drivers wouldn’t entail a bunch of emotional labor? Well, good news!

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Mary Worth, 9/30/19

Oh, good, now that Dawn’s romantic situation is more or less settled for the moment, we can move on and focus on Wilbur’s romantic situation, because, presumably, we’re all dead and in some very specifically tailored hell where we can’t stop reading about the sex lives of the various dopey members of the Weston clan. You’ll of course recall that Wilbur and the lovely, well-heeled but unlucky in love widow Estelle connected via dating app a few months ago. Naturally Wilbur reacted to this turn of good fortune by peacing out to Mozambique without figuring out the terms of their relationship. “It’s all good,” Wilbur thought as he got on that jet. “Obviously women can’t live without me, so creating this ambiguity will just send her into a Wilbur-love frenzy and she’ll be wrapped around my finger by the time I get back. Definitely my absence won’t lead to her getting involved with somebody else, sending me into an extremely hilarious emotional tailspin, which is exactly what happened in my last relationship.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/30/19

I have to admit to being utterly charmed by how gobsmacked Snuffy is by this development. “Checkers? Checkers that you can eat? And the eating creates a new incentive within the context of the game rules? This. Changes. Everything.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/30/19

Oh, I’m sorry, do you think the plots in Rex Morgan, M.D., are “slow moving” and “dull”? Well, we’re going to physically immobilize our characters one by one, until you beg for the level of excitement we’ve been dishing out up to this point. You’ll beg, do you hear us?