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Mary Worth, 10/19/11

Boy, Mary Worth got kind of boring in my absence, didn’t it? With the surprisingly fast reunion and all? Bobby and Gina, back together, still in love … wait a minute, Bobby says he loved Gina, past tense! YES, MORE DRAMA AND HEARTBREAK AND oh, man, I’m looking for drama in the verb tenses of Mary Worth. This is quite frankly a new personal low.

Beetle Bailey, 10/19/11

If you had asked me, “Josh, could Beetle Bailey become less funny if the entire cast were replaced by tiny robot replicas of themselves?” I would have said “no” because quite honestly I would have tuned out everything after “become less funny.” But now that I see the aggressively wacky Mini-Gizmo I already hate it even more than I already hated the real Gizmo. God, I can just hear its loathsomely zany robot-voice. WHY DOES BEETLE BAILEY MAKE IRRITATING EVERYTHING IT TOUCHES?

Six Chix, 10/19/11

Yeah, so apparently Rina Piccolo (aka the Six Chix Wednesday chick) is going keep doing S&M themed comics until somebody stops her.

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Mary Worth, 10/7/11

Oh my gosh, you guys, the message-leaving is not going well. 1049, you fool, not 1045! Do “nine” and “five” sound anything alike? No! Well, except for the vowel! But still! You’re a disgrace to your bellhop uniform! Unless you’re not a bellhop at all, but rather a waiter at a Chinese restaurant! Which is just as likely, given the design of that uniform!

Meanwhile, a handsome slab of soccer-playing man-meat just walked up to the desk, missing his love connection by mere seconds. That sure is a sweet team logo Bobby’s got there, if by “logo” you mean “a sheet of paper that he tore in half, wrote ‘New York Blazers’ on, and then safety-pinned to his cardigan.”

Panel from Beetle Bailey, 10/7/11

Yay, the weekend is almost here! Why not relax and enjoy it, and celebrate the end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell while you’re at it, by coming up with wacky things to put in Beetle’s word balloon here?

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Beetle Bailey, 9/25/11

As I’ve noted before, I’m totally down Beetle Bailey’s depiction of General Halftrack’s increasingly rapid descent into alcohol-fueled dementia. I approve because I enjoy jarring mismatches of tone and subject matter, and unlike some strips we could mention that get Very Serious with their Sad and Serious topics, Beetle Bailey seems to be under the impression that Halftrack’s angry and disoriented flailing is awesome fodder for wacky jokes. Which it isn’t but there’s something meta-funny about the strip’s complete inability to see that, you know? Anyway, things get extra hilarious today when the General destroys Army property and then discharges his sidearm in violation of any number of military regulations, before collapsing (it’s not clear whether that’s because the booze has overpowered him or he’s suffered a deadly rage-stroke).

Oh, also, I made this panel for you, to use as your Twitter avatar or put on your Tumblr where you curate zany contextless images or whatever:

Family Circus, 9/25/11

Awww, Jeffy’s learning life skills! Hateable life skills.