Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Crankshaft, 8/19/26

The last time Crankshaft and Harry Dinkle started an adventure together, Crankshaft looked real cherry but it ended up with Harry confronting the truly depressing circumstances of his father’s death. Now Ed has shown up at his place of work to drag him off on some other journey and he looks pissed, so maybe this time will turn out to be more fun for Harry, or maybe Crankshaft has just decided to murder him and put him out of his misery.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/19/26

At one point the scam twins were thinking about kidnapping a child, but then they realized that would not only get them in a lot of trouble, but also make this strip dangerously exciting, so now they’re trying to negotiate down to an acceptable level of plot development. I love the idea that squatting is too much of a commitment to bother doing. Like, most people squat just because that means they get to live someplace for free, but in the Twins’ conception, they’d be squatting for revenge, which means they’d have to stick around even if it turns out that the Morgan house has bad vibes or is unpleasant to be inside (it definitely does and is).

Beetle Bailey, 8/19/26

Hey, General, I just want to point out that the U.S. has fought in, like, several wars in the time that you’ve been an officer. Heck, there’s one going on right now! I know what you mean is that you want to have been in one of the cool ones, not the cringe wars we keep finding ourselves in lately, but still, I feel like you shouldn’t be quite so vocal on this point at the office if you don’t want to find yourself abruptly in the field.

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Gearhead Gertie, 7/16/26

Really love Gertie’s gobsmacked look in the top panel here. Sure, she’s been dutifully putting away cash for retirement for her whole life. But what was it all for exactly? What exactly should she be spending her money on? There’s an open world of possibilities that’s almost too vast to get her head around! That’s why mere seconds later her brain obviously completely short-circuited and this whole narrative was replaced by NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE NASCAR MERCHANDISE

Beetle Bailey, 7/16/26

I’m glad that the panels here get a thought balloon treatment showing that this whole alien encounter was all a dream of Sarge’s. Otherwise readers of the comic strip Beetle Bailey, where nothing outside of the experience of everyday real life ever happens, might be confused and terrified!

Slylock Fox, 7/16/26

Ha ha, wow! 1,728 words! That’s amazing, for a parakeet! Hey, quick question though, what the fuck is the deal with this giant dog sitting on the couch like a person and why does the lady sitting next to him have a facial expression that makes it look like she’s never seen him before in her life and only just now noticed he was there

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Beetle Bailey, 7/11/26

The thing about the daily comics is that they’re still drawn as if the black and white version is canonical, even though probably most people who read them now see them online, in color. That means that if you want your imagined audience to know that Sgt. Luggs really dolled herself up for this date only to be humiliated by Sarge’s combo gluttony/cheapness, you have to draw her lipstick in black, even though you’ll give online readers the impression that she’s “gone goth” in an attempt to distract Sarge from his pathological need for food (it didn’t work).

Hi and Lois, 7/11/26

Genuinely love that Lois just had the Flagston home inkjet printer spit “NO JUNK FOOD” in 490 point font out and handed it to Hi on his way to the supermarket. I assume he doesn’t even have a list beyond this. “Just follow your instincts and then buy the opposite,” she said.

Crankshaft, 7/11/26

Real talk: I have zero idea who these people are supposed to be. Is it Mopey Pete and Mindy, and he’s put on a lot of weight in the last year and she’s caught whatever he has that causes the visible eyebags? Or are they day players, hired because everyone in the regular cast steadfastly refused to deliver the line “I’m glad we went with Harry to that abandoned amusement park today”?