Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Beetle Bailey, 11/12/22

Holy shit! It’s Keith Haring, back from the dead and painting a mural on the outside of the Halftracks’ house! I’m not sure what the General is so upset about, as this is about to immediately make their home an incredibly valuable work of art. On the other hand, there’s no way he can actually see any of the outside of the house from where he’s standing, so maybe he’s upset about something unrelated, like ghost Keith Haring’s parking job or something.

Family Circus, 11/12/22

I honestly find Lenny’s overall attitude very funny. “It’s nothing personal, sir, I just think vibes are off in here.”

The Lockhorns, 11/12/22

By far the funniest thing about this panel is that there’s a fairly elaborate birthday party in progress, complete with a cake and a sign and a party hat, and there are no other guests, just Leroy and Loretta, who don’t even really like each other. I can’t decide if Leroy planned this whole thing just so he could do this leaf blower gag, or if inspiration struck him just in the nick of time.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/12/22

I’m really enjoying the tension playing across Rex’s face here in panel two. Like on the one hand, he likes it when doctors’ position of preeminence in society is reinforced in spectacular fashion in front of an appreciative crowd, but on the other he finds doing stuff extremely annoying.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/9/22

Oh, sorry folks, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the antics of “Mud Mountain Murphy!” Well, after doing some mild flirting at the diner, Mud Mountain Murphy ate a truly superhuman amount of food — and, like, I mean that, it was cartoonish, no real person would or could eat that much — with seemingly no ill effects. I say seemingly because that hesitation and those beads of sweat say that we might, in fact, be in store for some ill effects! It would be easy and juvenile to make a joke about a “mud mountain” in Mud Mountain’s pants, but honestly that’s a best case scenario for him, especially given that Rex Morgan, M.D., occasionally remembers the M.D. in its name and we might be about to see a massive on-stage coronary event.

Beetle Bailey, 11/9/22

Sure, Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries appears to be one of the few newspaper-adjacent entities still comfortably in the black, but I think it shows some hubris to do a whole newspaper comic strip where the joke is “Newspapers are literally garbage, good only for wiping up spills, and everyone but doddering old men know it!”

Gil Thorp, 11/9/22

In an earlier time, when only a few major media outlets dominated small markets like Milford, it was easy for Gil to cement his dominance and protect his career: he simply had his allies in the press publish stories proclaiming his victory in games he had lost! You begin to see why Marty Moon acts like he’s such a crusader for truth: you may not like his methods, but at least he’s offering an alternative voice out there.

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Mary Worth, 11/6/22

Welp, it looks like Mary Worth does have an important lesson to teach us about love, and it’s that if your gal rejects your marriage proposal, all you have to do is (literally) dangle the prospect of your death in front of her to make her realize what she could be missing. The best case scenario here is that we find out that Zak staged this whole incident and it throws their relationship into turmoil, but assuming they do get married, we need to start thinking about who’s going to make the biggest ass of themselves at the wedding. Everyone’s going to say “Wilbur,” of course, but I am begging you to not sleep on Tommy, who could quite frankly go in any number of erratic directions emotionally even if he stays sober.

Beetle Bailey, 11/6/22

I’m fascinated and a little saddened that Beetle, the laziest man alive, doesn’t even contemplating reading for pleasure in order to lull himself to sleep, and instead picks up a book that promises to teach him a skill! But all’s well that end’s well, and by “end’s well” I mean that in the end he’s finally imprisoned, for his many crimes.

Family Circus, 11/6/22

Look, I know we’re all upset that Ma Keane is talking about and describing “Not Me” directly, when we all know it’s supposed to be a little in-joke that’s visualized but never spoken about, but let’s not let that distract us from the most important thing here, which is that Billy is so dumb he can’t even count to six.