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Blondie, 10/7/21

This is a perfectly sweet little strip and I’m sorry but I can’t stop thinking about the fact that famous binge eater Dagwood Bumstead is making this proposal to his dog when she’s already chewing her treat. Now I’m just sitting here imagining the unseen fourth panel where he’s yelling “SPIT IT IN MY MOUTH, GIRL! SPIT IT IN DADDY’S MOUTH!”

Beetle Bailey, 10/7/21

OK, I know I said I had long ago dropped the Beetle/Sarge sex jokes, but you can’t deny that Sarge’s smile as he imagines himself haunting Beetle’s dreams is very erotically charged.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/7/21

Oh hey, remember how a shadowy cabal tried to pull former military badass Jordan back for one last job, but he turned them down? Well, good news! While the shadowy cabal is disappointed that they won’t get to team up with their good and talented friend Jordan, they respect his right to make his own life choices. I trust this is the last we’ll hear about the subject.

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Beetle Bailey, 10/4/21

I’m reasonably sure that if a soldier were running away from his commanding officer, who intended to brutally beat him, and was live-streaming the whole thing, that is the sort of thing that would go viral! Probably, uh, not in a fun way, though.

Mary Worth, 10/4/21

Wow, looks like Wilbur’s going to upgrade, lady-wise! When confronted with an ill-behaving pet, his ex was all like “Let’s talk about everybody’s feelings,” blah blah blah. But Carol offers sensible and concrete solutions, like “maybe don’t leave things out where your dog can chew on them” or “what do you mean you didn’t buy a chew toy for your dog, you utter dolt.” I think they’re gonna get along just fine!

Pluggers, 10/4/21

Everything else, though? Goes right into the landfill, even if it’s recyclable. Sometimes it doesn’t even make it into the trashcan. A lot of times pluggers just throw stuff out the window of their moving car!

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Beetle Bailey, 9/29/21

BEETLE BAILEYS WHERE SARGE ASSAULTS BEETLE AND POUNDS HIM INTO A PILE OF GOO: Goofy, fun, cartoonish, the whole family can enjoy them

BEETLE BAILEYS WHERE SARGE ASSAULTS BEETLE, RESULTING IN A VERY SPECIFIC AND REALISTIC INJURY: Really quite disturbing, honestly

Judge Parker, 9/29/21

Big news: Ronnie and Neddy’s TV show, based on Neddy’s adventures with Godiva and April, is finally coming to Netflix! Sadly, the production’s hair department did not get the memo on the only way you can tell Godiva and April apart (April has a ponytail, Godiva doesn’t).

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/29/21

“Wait she … doesn’t want to endlessly bask in glow of success that came very easily to her? My God, where did we go wrong as parents? What kind of Morgan is she?”