Post Content

Crock, 8/23/24

An interesting phenomenon in the daily comics is that often during the strip’s genesis, the creators come up with an odd conceit or bit that is genuinely funny at the time, but then the strip runs for literal decades and they want to do jokes that are not about that bit, using the characters and scenarios they’ve established that are based around the bit, which produces odd results. Shoe forgetting its characters are all birds is a prime example. Crock is in an even weirder boat, where Grossie and Maggot’s son Otis (whose name I could not for the life of me remember for the longest time, and Google was no help, and every once in a while I check out to see if ChatGPT can do the thing it claims it can do, and it told me his name was either “Mongoose” or “Qaddafi,” so no, it very much cannot do the thing it claims it can do) is best friends with a vulture. Indeed, the vulture is his only friend, which is why he’s excited to talk with him about what he’s learned about human reproduction. However, this joke, which would be mildly funny if it were part of a conversation between two normal human children, becomes profoundly weird when it’s part of a conversation between a normal human child and a talking vulture. Like, if you knew talking vultures existed, maybe you’d find the idea that storks delivered babies more plausible! On the flipside, if you were a talking vulture and you heard this story about storks, you might have some inside information on storks and their ways that could confirm or deny the details. Anyway, I’m dwelling on all this because the alternative is thinking about how not long before the action in this strip occurred, a vulture dad told his vulture son about vulture sex in great anatomical detail, and I’m not doing any research on vulture reproduction but I’m just going to go ahead and assume that the whole process is pretty gross.

Beetle Bailey, 8/23/24

Great, just great, I read this comic and immediately felt the absolutely 100% useless piece of information “Private Blips is a Swiftie” falling into place in my brain. Sorry, spare set of keys! I will never remember where you are now. That slot is taken.

Post Content

Six Chix, 8/13/24

“Hey,” you’re probably wondering, “What’s going on with the Tuesday Chik in Six Chix, who last we saw was in a romantic and sexual relationship with a giant sandwich?” Well, bad news: the sandwich has gone back to its “own kind” and is now fucking avocado toast. A sad tale of modern relationships! Should food only date other kinds of food? Well, humans are a kind of food, in certain circumstances, if you think about it. That may sound like stoned dorm room talk, but it’s a real thing I would say, if the sandwich I was in love with was going to leave me and I was desperate to win it back any way I could.

Beetle Bailey, 8/13/24

There’s something really striking about Sarge’s facial expression here, half-earnest, half-vacant. Everything just kind of happens to him, and he’s a little overwhelmed by it. He’s being sent to Hawaii, for work? He has a dog who wears clothes? Neat! But also, what’s next? If he sits very still, maybe it won’t be bad.

Marvin, 8/13/24

Look, I say this as a man who, as 20 years of evidence on this blog amply demonstrates, allows the comic strip Marvin to live rent-free in his head: the comic strip Marvin is, on the scale of entertainment properties, nothing, insignificant, an insect. It definitely is not anything that The Walt Disney Company, in its majesty, would deign to notice, so you could have just gone ahead and said “Disneyland” instead of “Dippyland” here, which certainly would have made this joke work a lot better.

Post Content

Alice, 8/7/24

The thing is that your boy Josh came down with COVID-19 last weekend, and while I am currently on the mend it made my brain a little loopy this week (this Alice strip is here to show you what it was like inside my skull for a while) and also apparently interfered with my ability to operate the ol’ time travel machine. This meant I posted Thursday’s strips on Wednesday and (briefly) posted tomorrow’s (Friday’s) strips Thursday (the day on which I am writing this Wednesday post). Ooops! I’ve corrected the dates on everything on the site (so it goes in the right order), but here’s a short Wednesday post, for completeness!

Dennis the Menace, 8/7/24

Sure, Mr. Wilson, I get it. There are lots of times when I think up a joke, but doing it right involves figuring out some specific pieces of information, like “What’s a typical amount that a child Dennis’s age weighs” and “Wait, how old is Dennis supposed to be, actually,” and then I just don’t bother. This is frankly the most relatable this man has ever been to me.

Beetle Bailey and Hi and Lois, 8/7/24

Oh no, Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC has learned what “influencers” are and will be making jokes about them, code red code red